Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, nor Miroku. Currently... Sango owns him.
Thank you for all of those beautiful reviews! I was absolutely stunned at the vast amount that I received. The only reason I get to post this chapter is because I already had it written. Slave to One's Fears will be up soon. Sorry for the delay.
-.-
Miroku woke, the haze of before clouding his mind. He tried to sit up before
realizing that he was already up, as well as tied tightly around the chest.
He grinned. He began to struggle, trying to undo the knot holding his hands
behind his back. He smiled fully, but soon his face was twisted with
frustration. He was confident, however, and that was what made Sango give
away her position from the darkness of the room.
"You look like a million bucks. You gonna get away?" She smirked.
"Yes, I am." Miroku said, flashing her a grin that would have disintegrated
any other girl. But not our thief, oh heavens no. Sango ignored him.
"What makes you think you can undo my knots, eh?"
"I'm in Shikon, remember? I learned how to undo knots in one shot." He
continued to struggle. Sango rolled her eyes.
"Boy, I've tied up REAL demons- not some fakes like the ones you worked
with. If they couldn't get out, and they had claws, what make you so sure
YOU can get out? You're only human."
"Excuse ME, Mistress Thief. You're human too. Surely you have made mistakes
in your knots." Miroku shot back. Truth be told, he was beginning to sweat.
These knots were seriously tight, and cutting into his wrists. They were
really starting to hurt him. He struggled so hard at one point the chair
fell over, and Sango responded by promptly laughing her ass off.
"Oh-ho, who's so smart now, Mr. Celebrity?"
"Shuddup, Mistress Thief."
"That's not my name," Sango stated, calmly examining her utility-short
nails. Miroku wrinkled his nose as best he could- it was pressed against the
floor.
"Well, my name isn't Mr. Celebrity. So there."
"How mature," Sango said. Miroku could hardly miss the disdain and sarcasm
wreathing her voice. Suddenly, he found a rift in the knots. Perfect!
"Ah-ha!" He yelled, leaping up as soon as the ropes were free. Sango
immediately shrunk against the wall. He ran to the door with the chair and
jammed it. He turned, smiling brightly. He let his eyes flick about, taking
in his surroundings. A traditional empty storage room, by the looks of it.
He smiled at the shadowy figure hugging the wall. "So, Mistress Thief. Not
so tough now?" He didn't get to even start his laugh before the girl kicked
out viciously and he basically flew into the wall. Standing up shakily, he
flicked his midnight hair out of his face before staring at the girl, who
was edging towards the door. "Oh, no you don't!" He muttered, throwing
himself at her. He crashed on top of her, knocking her down. He struggled to
grab her hands, but she landed a punch before he could get them. He spit
blood off to the side before managing to wrap his strong hands around her
wrists. Linking his legs in hers to prevent her from kicking him off, he
grinned.
"Sorry, Mistress Thief. I've been in too many movies to just let you kick me
off nice and simple. I'm not stupid." He spit some more blood away. Damn,
she could punch! The woman beneath him snarled.
"Shut up, idiot. You've got nothing to do to me, now that you've got me
caught." In truth, Sango was stalling. She had never been beaten by anyone,
and furthermore, she had never been beneath a man. That, to say the least,
pissed her off royally. The man above her smiled in the most irritating way
she had ever seen.
"Actually, I DO have something I could do. I could annoy you to hell and
back. Hmm, what SHALL I do? I could... tell you that you have nice legs!"
Sango winced. Ok, that was just wrong. The pervert. "Except, they're a bit
thick. But that's ok- what else would you expect from an extremely muscular
unfeminine female?" Sango gasped. No. the BASTARD! She tried to spit in his
face, but he moved his neck to the left. "So, did that hurt? Hmm?"
"Stop!" Sango was seething. All her life she had been told that, and this
was the last straw.
"You have nice breasts."
"I said quit it! You are verbally harassing me!" Sango, once again, was
stalling. That, and she had a total pervert on top of her increasingly
agitated body. -shudder- The movie star on top of her smiled. He licked his
lips.
"What happens if I kiss you?" Sango froze. He wouldn't dare.
"Don't you even THINK about it, you ass! I will shoot you! I will!" She
struggled harder then she ever had in her life. There is no way I am going
to give my first kiss to him! NO! Miroku laughed.
"Ohhh, would that BOTHER our wittle thief? Hmm? Would it?" He leaned in
closer. "Would it make you feel uncomfortable?" His face lit up
mischievously at a sudden random (and accurate) thought. "It wouldn't be
your first, would it, Mistress Thief?" Sango tried to keep her face as still
as a mask, but she was beginning to panic. "It would be!" He leaned in so
close that their noses were touching. "And to think," he breathed. "You
originally stole me!" He closed the distance between their lips. Sango
wanted to scream. No! She had planned on four things being the same in her
life:
Never been kissed.
Always a virgin.
Never been caught.
Always a thief.
There went her number one! Sango's eyes began to see red. She was so mad.
Then, she closed her eyes and tried to figure out a way to get the man off
of her. She tried to not notice his lips, but it wasn't working so well.
Soft. very soft. Keh. What a bastard! Sango's eyes flew open and met his
indigo ones as his tongue gently traced her lower lip. As disgusted and near
to vomiting as Sango was, she devised a quick plan. Closing her eyes, she
pushed her mouth as hard as she could against his. Miroku moaned in pleasure
and licked her bottom lip again. Her inexperienced tongue copied his and
flicked out, dashing across his lip quickly. She opened her mouth, and tried
not to laugh as the idiot eagerly moaned again and invaded her mouth. She
let him explore for a few split seconds, then made her move.
She bit as hard as she could on his tongue.
Miroku yelled bloody murder and leapt off of her, spitting blood and yelling
various curses. Sango, laughing her ass off, sprinted to the door and opened
it. She quickly locked it from the outside and listened to Miroku stumbling
around inside, swearing like a sailor. She kept laughing.
"You pervert! How does it feel, eh?"
"I'm bleeding all over!"
"Yeah, well, girls bleed all over once a fricking month and we don't
complain all that much!"
Silence was indeed golden and present. Sango snickered as he began to yell
again.
"Ow! Shit! Dammit! Wench! Bitch! And how did you learn to kiss like that!?"
Sango froze, then shook her head and walked away. She walked straight into
Sesshomaru.
"Shut up. I don't wanna hear it." She snarled, then walked on. Sesshomaru
just shook his head and kept going.
-.-
Miroku sat inside his prison. It had been nearly an hour since he had
seen/heard of head or tail of that girl. His tongue had stopped bleeding,
thankfully. It had a nasty cut on it, and Miroku was only happy because
everyone knows that if you split your tongue it will grow back. Otherwise,
he would be panicking. He shifted, trying to relieve the sore muscles in his
legs. Where was she? As though on cue, she walked in. He noticed the gun on
her hip, and stood up. She shut the door, nodding to a woman guard outside,
and turned to face him. Her face was unemotional, and she seemed to have
recovered from the little episode of before. She sighed, and the next thing
Miroku knew he was up against the wall. Naturally, her gun was embedded once
again in his forehead. She snarled at him.
"Listen, you bastard. You stole my first kiss, you know that? I planned on
never being kissed, and-" She cut herself off. She was ranting, and she knew
it. Sango flicked her eyes shut briefly to calm herself before opening them
and meeting his indigo ones. Miroku looked at her solemnly. He nodded.
"Believe it or not, I know how you feel. My first kiss was stolen, too."
"That may be true, but that was a movie!" Sango said, trying to find an
excuse. Miroku shook his head.
"Not counting the movies. A girl named Koharu kissed me in front of a crowd
of about 50,000 paparazzi and fans. It was really bad, and it included
tongue." He said, quietly nodding. "And if THAT doesn't satisfy you, then
this will. My other first kiss was given to a German swimsuit model who was
currently screwing my manager every night. And we were even going out, too.
I caught them the same night I threw away my first kiss. So don't feel so
bad." Sango stared at him. From movies to hookers to German models-
"Jeezuz."
"Yeah. Tell me about it." He smiled. "But in all truth, you are a better
kisser then that German model or anyone else I've ever kissed, for that
matter. And I even got bitten in your kiss." Sango slapped him point-blank.
"Oh, no you don't! Don't even think about trying to flatter me! Stop! Stop
now!" Sango screamed. She wouldn't fall for this! This was shit! She fumed,
but Miroku shook his head.
"Go ahead and shoot me. I don't care. It's better then returning to the hell
I live in anyways." Sango couldn't help but bring her gun down a bit.
"Your life is perfect! Everyone serves you on bended knee, everyone worships
you! You have fan girls and paparazzi and agents swarming after you day in
and day out. You have everything you could ever want. You lack nothing. Tell
me, Mr. Celebrity. How is that hell?" Sango asked, thoroughly puzzled,
fuming, envious, proud, and ticked, all at the same time. Miroku sadly shook
his head again.
"But I am not free. I have to put up with the paparazzi, the fan girls, the
agents. I'm not allowed anywhere that's not on my Palm Pilot. I'm not
allowed to go anywhere unaccompanied. I lack a family, they died when I was
young. And to top it all off, I am severely deprived of knowing any girls
that haven't gotten laid for money. That, my pretty one, is hell." He
finished. Sango sputtered.
"Are you saying my life is easy?" The bridge of Sango's nose turned a light
pink with anger. She was thankful it was dark enough in the room for it to
go unnoticed.
"I'm saying I want your life." Miroku said simply, shrugging. Sango
sputtered again.
"You want to be on the city's top 50 list? At the very top? You want to be
restricted to where you live because you are a criminal? You want to kill
people and not give a damn?" Sango asked, her voice losing its usual
control. Miroku stared at her.
Did she just... open up? Miroku thought. Sango, realizing her mistake of
losing her cool, quickly covered her tracks effectively.
"Well, you're pretty wise if you want my life. I love it, and I would never
stop being a fugitive of the law." Sango stated this proudly, holding her
head high and flicking her long, ponytail-bound brown hair over her
shoulder. She smiled prettily, but coldly. "And now, oh-annoying-one, you
die." She cocked the gun. Miroku held up one hand.
"Wait. Just a second. May I say some things before I die? Just so you can
prove to the media that all of this things are true? They tend to spread
nasty rumors and I wish to say differently before I die." He asked solemnly.
Sango rolled her eyes.
"Make it quick, Mr. Celebrity." She snapped, impatient. The sooner he was
eliminated and his remains burned, the better.
"First off, my name is Miroku Kazaana. Not Miroku Houshi, or Miroku Kaze. I
was born and raised as a monk, not a farmer or a pop star. I am a virgin,
not some sicko who runs around the brothel houses every night. I was
actually dating a German swimsuit model, not a French walkway model. I never
had an affair with any American pop star blonde. I actually do play the bass
for a small, personal band. I-"
"Cut it short. I gotta kill you," Sango said. Amazingly, Miroku was
unaffected and nodded.
"Yep, almost done. I don't have any siblings. I did get drunk once in tenth
grade. And the last thing is this: you are the most beautiful woman I've
ever met, and you really do have nice breasts. Sorry, but I have to turn you
in. Smile for the cameras!" With that, he knocked Sango's gun away and
kissed her full on the lips, prying her mouth open and twisting in his
tongue. Sango made a small sound, hurt and disgusted, and tried to pull
away. Miroku held onto her body tightly and kissed her harshly. He broke
away, smiling broadly. It was then that Sango noticed her guard was
unconscious, and that cameramen had crowded very recently (as in two seconds
ago) into the room. Her hereditary blush swept the bridge of her nose once
more, and she realized that he had kissed her for them to take pictures.
Shit.
"Miroku! Miroku! What is your relationship with this thief!?"
"Are you having an affair?"
"The famous actor slash singer, Miroku Houshi-"
"KAZAANA! Miroku KAZAANA!" Yelled Miroku, but he didn't seem to mind.
"-has apparently been having a sex scandal!"
Sango stood there, shocked out of her mind. In all her life, she had never
been this close to being caught. Sango decided she really did not like it.
They were a bit close for comfort. She ducked and darted, dashing out of the
room. She sprinted down the hallway and out into the street, trying to find
an escape. She dodged between two camera trucks and finally found her way
into an ally, where she sat down. Closing her eyes, she tried to slow her
breathing as she listened to sirens in the distance. They were bearing down
on her, she was on unknown territory, and there was a pop star kissing her
at random intervals. At the moment, life sucked ass. To put it plainly.
"Mistress Thief?"
"SHIT!" Sango whipped around, only to see Miroku in a car. He motioned her
over. Sango obliged, having every intention of pulling out her gun and
laughing her ass off when she blew his smartass brains out. Soon, however,
she discovered that her gun was back at her house. She slowed down and
stopped in front of the window, swearing loudly.
"What do you want? Come to kiss me again and ruin my life?" Sango said,
flipping him off and kicking his car. She left a dent, actually. Miroku
chuckled and jerked his thumb in the direction of the sirens.
"Listen, Mistress Thief. Here those sirens? Nobody but me can cancel them,
so I suggest you get in the fricking car and shut your ass up. Kapeesh?" He
said, as though bored. Sango, seeing red flashing lights in the nearest
road, jumped over the car door, snarled at Miroku to drive, and crossed her
arms. She hated playing the victim. She just- she just had no other way out.
She looked over at the smiling star, and growled.
"So. Where are you taking me?" She asked, trying to emphasize the edge in
her voice. Miroku shrugged.
"Correction, Mistress Thief. Where are you going to lead me?" He asked,
flicking his eyes at her before eyeing the road again. "I mean, I can't go
back home. Like I said, it's parallel to hell and I'm sick of it. So. Where
to?" Sango laughed cruelly.
"As if, Mr. Celebrity. I'm not going anywhere with you."
"Listen. Let me stay with you, ok?"
"And what?"
"I dunno, teach me to be a thief." Miroku said, as though it were obvious.
Sango laughed as though it was the most hilarious thing she'd ever heard.
Which it kind of was.
"You, a thief? Oh, the star tells jokes!"
"I'm serious."
"Why would I do that?" Sango asked suddenly, twisting her torso towards him.
She cocked a dark eyebrow. "What I mean to say is. what's in it for me? I
have an untrained bastard on my hands who's probably never touched a gun
before. Well, except for prop ones. But anyways- you'd be nothing but a
hindrance. Let me enlighten you to something, Mr. Celebrity." She pulled on
his collar, not really caring that he was driving. She put her mouth next to
his ear, breathing into it. Unbeknownst to her, she was driving Miroku mad;
the feeling of her breath on his skin was inducing an ache in his body. One
that told him to kiss her senseless with all the passion he could muster. He
shoved it down as she continued. "I have never taken a single partner in
anything. Never. I've been alone on the streets since I could remember and
talk straight. If you think I would start a partnership, much less with you,
you are insane. It just doesn't happen, love." She said the last word with
sarcasm dripping from her voice, but Miroku still soaked up the wonderful
way it sounded coming from her. He smiled crookedly.
"You know, I am in top physical condition. And, that one Sesshomaru guy said
something about a henchman, Naraku, and competition, so I think you actually
DO need a partner. I overheard that while I was on the verge of blacking out
again from your blow to my head. Oh, and by the way, I have an excellent
lawyer if we get caught. You don't have a lawyer as far as I know. I have
the best in the country." He pulled the car over and held out his hand. "And
the keys to a mansion on the coast and a few hundred million bucks backing
us up. What do you say, Mistress Thief?" Sango looked at his hand, then at
his eyes. In all honesty, all she would really need was his body for a
shield against bullets, his immense bank account, and his lawyer. She smiled
and shook his hand, lying through her teeth.
"Deal, Mr. Celebrity." Once I have your money, it's off to hell you go. And
I don't mean the plush life you lead.
"Excellent, then. Off to my seaside summer house, ne?" He asked, spinning
the wheel. She nodded.
"Sounds great." Sounds really great.
-.-
Eh heh. -coughs- Pretty much. Yep.
Chapter is dedicated to Khepri, who basically forced me to get up off of my lazy ass and whip this up. Arigato, Khepri!