Behind a Smile: 10: Tenken No Kurushimi No Tame Ni Tatakau
Author's notes: WOW! This chapter is being processed earlier than expected! ^^ Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews, minna-san! Also, thank you for your ideas! I've put them all together and created a brand-new storyline for 'Behind a Smile'!!! Yaahoooo!!!!!!!!
Yes, Misao's turn to suffer has COME!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAKKKKK *chokes*
…Corny Chapter Title…
***
10::Tenken No Kurushimi No Tame Ni Tatakau//To Fight for the Tenken's Suffering::10
***
"Sayonara, minna-san."
The Kenshingumi looked serenely towards the ground, the now uncomfortable silence being racked by uncontrollable sobs that were coming from a frail-looking girl. Shinomori Aoshi only stood silently amidst the silent group of teens, not knowing what to do at that very moment.
Nothing registered in Makimachi Misao's mind except for one thing – that Soujiro was leaving. Her heart throbbed within her as she stared blankly at the cell phone, tears blurring her vision as she held back sobs wanting to be released. Her body felt weak, energy being burned by the sadness and anger growing within.
Who was she to have the right to be angry?
"No…" she sobbed quietly, blinking away tears that for her, weren't supposed to be shed. "No. Sou-chan wouldn't leave me…Sou-chan's just playing around…he's not going to—
'Sayonara, minna-san.'
The words replayed themselves on her mind, as if Seta Soujiro's voice said them each time. As each word was pronounced in her head, a teardrop fell, rushing down her cheeks as she gently shook her head, locks of ebony gracing her skin.
"Sou-chan…Sou-chan's not going to England!" She giggled out loud, sounding as if she was going insane, the giggle representing her denial of the situation. "Sou-chan would NEVER go back to England! Why would he? He…he t-told me…"
Kamiya Kaoru raised her head, blue eyes filled with tears of her own. "He told you what, Misao?" she sobbed out, trying to hold a firm ground as Misao looked at the four of them.
"Did he tell you anything, Misao?" Megumi spat, absolutely angry about the fact that this girl was still finding the nerve to be angry at the poor soccer star. Misao definitely had no right to be mad at Soujiro – for it was Soujiro who should have the right to be mad at her. "He never told you anything, did he?"
"Now wait a minute – here I was proposing to Misao-chan and you go bursting in to make her cry! Now I won't take that –?!" Shinomori Aoshi tried to say, but was only met by a glance of hatred from the woman he loved.
"Don't protect me!" Misao screamed; tears flowing freely down her cheeks as sobs finally erupted from her throat. "I can stand up on my own!"
"Misao-chan –
Aoshi tried to grab Misao's arm, forcing her to stay where she was.
The girl, meanwhile, disagreed with his idea. She shook her arm violently out of his grasp, storming out the door. The Kenshingumi, led by Sanosuke, ran to block her path and close the door before her.
"YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!" thundered Sanosuke, an unreadable expression etched on his face, brows knitted in what seemed to be anger.
"I HAVE TO SEE HIM!" Misao screamed, trying to push the taller figure out of her way to run out of the room. "I HAVE TO SEE HIM NOW!"
"And what, Misao, gives you the right to see him?" Megumi asked, pushing Sano aside for a clear conversation. "What the hell would give you the right to see Sou-kun?"
Crying profusely, Misao tried to evade Megumi's questions, but still answered them. "I'm his best friend."
"Oh are you?!" Megumi cried, crystalline tears rushing down her face as she remembered the things Soujiro said to them the whole year back. "Have you been spending time with him?! Are you even talking to him?! Do you even CARE about him, Misao?!"
"Of course I do!" Misao cried back, glaring at the taller woman as she retaliated. "I'm his best friend and I do care!"
"Really now," Kaoru snapped, entering the conversation. "If you really ARE Sou-kun's best friend, tell me what was happening to him the past year."
Sano narrowed his brown eyes. "Do you even know why he was going to England?"
Kenshin tried to stop the incoming argument between his friends. He neared the group. "Minna-san, I think we shouldn't be hard on Misao-chan –
Kaoru glared at the redheaded supposed-to-be rurouni, tears brimming her eyes. "Why shouldn't we? Soujiro had suffered SO MUCH just because of her – her mere existence! Why shouldn't she receive the same torture as Soujiro did?!"
"Kaoru-dono –
Misao's sobs quieted down at Kaoru's words. "Torture…?"
Megumi glowered at the girl, eyes still full of anger. "Yes, Misao – torture. That was what Sou-kun endured the whole year. And you know what? He tried to endure all of it just because of you." She walked away from Misao before continuing her sentence. "Just because he loved you."
'Just because he loved you.'
Just because…
He…
Loved you.
'Just because Soujiro loved someone like you.'
"He…" she stuttered out, not knowing what to say next. "…loved…me…?"
Misao-chan no tame ni…boku wa…dekakemasu.
**
"Are you really sure about this, Sourjiro?" Yumi asked for the fifth time as she and Soujiro sat comfortably inside the plane, with Soujiro reading the daily newspaper.
"Hai, for the last time, Yumi-san." Seta Soujiro smiled, turning back to his broadsheet. "I'm sure about this. I've already informed Alex-san and Emily-san that we are going to arrive."
"You already TOLD them?!" Soujiro covered his ears as Yumi screamed beside him. "I thought you wanted it as a surprise!"
"I did. But they kept on calling me since there were rumors that I was going to attend Oxford, so I confirmed their allegation." Soujiro answered, folding the newspaper in his lap and smiling at the flight attendant who just passed by, sending her blushing as she got the newspaper from him.
"Mou…Soujiro…"
"Do you think that Misao-chan's alright?"
Shishio Yumi glared at the blue-eyed boy. "OF COURSE SHE WOULDN'T BE!!! You left without saying anything to her and you're even WONDERING if she's okay? God, Soujiro, sometimes you can actually be dumb at situations –
With a sheepish grin, Soujiro tapped Yumi on the shoulder. "I was asking about my dog, Yumi-san."
"…oh."
**
**Misao's POV**
"Yes he did, Misao!" Kaoru answered, her own tears streaming down as well. "He loved you to the point that he didn't…he didn't care for himself anymore…"
Sanosuke, as if in an act of regret, looked downwards at his feet. "To the point that he only cared about you."
Hot tears streamed down my cheeks, my eyes unable to contain them any longer. My own best friend…my Sou-chan…he…
He loved me?
And here I was…taking anger from everyone else as they started to scold me for my foolishness. Were they right? Was everything they had said true? Was I that selfish, that stupid, and that dense?
I shook my head in denial of all these things. They were talking about me – Makimachi Misao! This should be impossible – I always cared! I was always the first one to see if anything was wrong.
'Were you right then? Were you the first one to see if anything was wrong?'
I continued to shake my head as that little voice in the back of my head continued to pester my consciousness. "Iiya…iiya…dame da…Sou-chan wa…"
Words couldn't flow right out of my mouth – for I have not found any word to say. All I could do was to say that it couldn't be possible…that it couldn't be true – for Sou-chan only loved me as a friend and nothing more. If he did – he would've told me earlier, wouldn't he?
'Honestly, Misao…If you're already thinking like that, then you don't deserve to be Soujiro's best friend.'
Why wouldn't I be?
'Because you should know how Soujiro reacts, how he acts about situations.'
I do know! He'd tell me if he DID love me!
'How are you so sure? You've been straying away from him for the past year that I bet you don't even know what his puppy's name is.'
The voice was right. I don't even know what his puppy's name was. I don't even know why he's going to England, or what college he was going to.
I didn't even ask him about himself lately. It was like I didn't care. Was Aoshi all I ever thought about? All I ever cared about? Was I obsessed with him THAT much to the point I'd even forget my friends?
But the question still remains – did he really love me?
Tears continued to pour from my eyes, my vision getting blurry as I looked at the four of them.
"And you knew…all along?"
Quiescence invaded the room, to the point that you could hear a pin drop. Every single one of them – from Kaoru to Kenshin, from Sano to Megumi – were serious about my question. But I wanted to know if they knew it all this time and didn't even tell me.
Kenshin took a step forward. "We did. We were the first ones who knew about it."
I knotted my eyebrows in fury. "Then why didn't you tell me?!"
"How could we?!" Megumi spat, irritation etched in her eyes. "You were obsessed about him so much and Soujiro wouldn't want us to tell you!!"
Sano continued. "And he did it all – going through the suffering he had undergone by not telling you – just for you. For your happiness."
Atashi no tame ni…atashi no shiawase no tame ni…?
"How could he?! I'll go through those things he'd gone through just for him too!" I cried – but deep inside, I knew all I was saying were lies. So this was the real me – unable to accept defeat. How could I go through the things he had undergone? I don't even know how worse I had wounded him…
"DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH SUFFERING HE HAD GONE THROUGH?!" Kaoru roared, absolutely angry with me as she narrowed her eyes in fury. "You didn't see him sleep in the cold snow waiting for you to come back and make himself sick just for your sake!"
"You didn't see him look sadly away as you start ranting on about how great Shinomori is!"
"You – Misao-chan – of all people, was the one I expected to see through Soujiro-kun." Megumi said softly, avoiding eye contact with the petite girl. "To see through his empty smiles."
"He may look happy…just like he was…" Kenshin spoke up, nearing the group once again. "But if you look real close, you'll see he's suffering. He's shattered – he shut himself from his own consciousness and didn't even care if he'd go crazy, just to make you happy. He disregarded his own heart to make yours dance lively inside of you – even if he wasn't the one who would make it do so."
I was speechless.
I didn't find any words to say as the four of them stared at me, unreadable expressions etched in their faces as their words sunk in my brain. I made my own best friend hate me…but instead of hate, he still loves me…
I turned swiftly, grabbing hold of the doorknob as I tried to pry the door open. But someone held me back.
"Let me go!" I cried, wanting to escape from Aoshi's mansion. I don't want Sou-chan to leave – I want him to stay, to be with me and not to be a hundred miles away –
"I said LET ME GO!" I screamed, yanking my arm from Sanosuke's grasp.
"You're not going to make it. He's already inside the airplane by now. If you think that making him see you once again would make him happy, well then you're wrong." Kenshin muttered, a serene expression placed on his eyes. "It would probably scar him."
Slowly, I sank down to my knees, my hands helplessly laid across the mahogany door. Tears profusely swam down my cheeks, my fists clenching themselves in this state of utter helplessness. I can't go on and I couldn't even speak to him…I can't even see him…
I sobbed quietly as I continued to cry, feelings of regret and sorrow starting to tear me up inside.
So this is what it felt like…
To suffer because of someone you love…
**~~**
"Soujiro!!!! Over here!!!!!!!!!"
A bouncing young blonde jumped up and down, happiness seeping through her veins at the sight of her Japanese childhood friend. With a simple smile, Seta Soujiro dragged his cart full of luggage towards the blonde English girl, sending her blushing a few notches up.
"Welcome back, Soujiro." Said a boy about his age, having dark brown hair and green eyes. He stood calmly beside the joyous girl, who was still happy about her friend's arrival.
"Glad to be back, Alex." Soujiro replied in smooth English, as if it was his native language. No accent could be spotted in his dialogue as he continued to converse with the two English teens, with Yumi walking beside them and joining their conversation a few times.
A few minutes later, someone unrecognizable ran towards the group of four, carrying five cans of soda in her arms as she stopped skillfully in front of them. Smiling a foolish grin that reminded Soujiro of someone, the girl whom he didn't know stuck out a soda from her arms, giving it to Soujiro.
"A-arigato…"
"Douishimashita!"
Soujiro, surprised that this unknown girl could speak Japanese, looked sharply up towards the girl about his age. She had shoulder-length, gray-ebony hair, and artistically but naturally curled outwards at the ends as her bangs were curled inwards to her face. She had bright green eyes and a normal figure for a girl her age, and she was wearing an outfit that consisted of a green hoodie, a yellow shirt and denim knickerbockers.
The girl smiled again, gently poking Soujiro on his arm, speaking fluently in Japanese as Alexander Hemmingway and Amelia Richardton stared curiously at them. "Gomen ne, I didn't know what kind of tea you liked so I got coffee for you and the elegant lady beside you."
"Sou desu ka…"
"Ah, sou da!" She handed Alex and Emily their sodas before she stuck out her hand in introduction. "Ohayo, atashi wa Honjou Kamatari da yo! Anata wa Seta Soujiro, ne?" She peered at Yumi as Soujiro smiled a light-hearted smile. "Sore ga ojousan wa Shishio Yumi-san ka?"
Author's notes: WHEEE!!!!!! Domo arigato gozaimasu for CHAOS-CHAN-SAN!!!!!!!!!!!! *bows* Chaos-Chan-san gave me the idea for Kamatari to appear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
…SHE made Sou smile…?
*cough* Translations are:
Misao-chan no tame ni…boku wa…dekakemasu.: For Misao-chan's sake, I'll leave.
Atashi no tame ni…atashi no shiawase no tame ni…: For my sake…for my happiness…
…corny, ain't it? ^^
Anyway, gomen nasai, minna-san, but I'm feeling sick and I want to go sleep since I'm sooo sleepy and I'm so sorry…
I'll put all of you guys in the next chapter! Arigatouuuuuu!!!!!!!!
A. Pikachu