Behind a Smile: 14: Subete ga Kankin
Author's notes: I am so, so sorry for making you guys wait all this time. You see, I had a bout of writer's lock, laziness, and it seemed that my brain just locked itself out of the Rurouni Kenshin fandom. Even though I tried really hard to make this chapter for this to end, everything that I made up was useless trash. And of course, I can't present trash to you guys for your faith and support, right? You guys should have the entire best of the best, or the best of what I have.
After a year and some months more, my love of the Rurouni Kenshin series has come back, and finally thinking up a proper way to finish this story, I will finally conclude Behind a Smile. This chapter would probably be the longest of all chapters, and I hope this satisfies you all. I am so, so sorry for not updating, and I hope that deep in your heart you can forgive me. I am so sorry.
14::Subete ga Kankin/Regretting Everything::14
Realization dawned upon her.
Her master wasn't supposed to be with this girl walking alongside them – her master was supposed to be cherishing his life with the girl sitting a few benches away; the girl who was trying to stop her tears from flowing down her cheeks.
The small dog barked in protest as her master walked away, unknowingly dragging her away against her will. Meanwhile, the master, with a placid smile on his face, ignored the dog's barks and proceeded to walk towards the exit, side by side with a beautiful girl.
"Misao-chan, doushite na no?" Seta Soujiro asked, stopping for a moment and peering curiously down at his dog. "Is something wrong?"
Misao-chan stared at her master with soulful eyes, as if pleading for them to come back. Soujiro continued to stare at her, then took a hand to ruffle his dog's soft fur.
"We can't go back to them, Misao-chan," Soujiro said, smiling. "We have to go back home – Yumi-san's going to worry about us a whole lot if we don't go now."
Misao-chan refused to comply to her master; even though her leather leash prevented her from going further, she ran to the opposite direction, only being yanked back by the leash. Kamatari looked on as Misao-chan forced her master to go back, with Soujiro fighting with full force.
"We can always call Yumi-san, Sou-chan," Kamatari suggested, apparently taking pity on the dog. "We can tell her we're going home later than expected."
Soujiro looked at Kamatari as his sunglasses drooped down the bridge of his nose. He raised his eyebrows. "Do you think she'll approve of that?"
"Of course she will." Kamatari said, plunging her hand in her pocket to search for her cell phone. "You've just met with your friends, after all. I'm sure she'd agree to you catching up with them." She flipped the phone open and punched in the numbers, with Soujiro still trying to maintain Misao-chan near him.
After a few minutes of fighting, Misao-chan finally gave up. She cast a longing stare at the group of people who sat by a bench, a stare which held a desire to stay with them, instead of leaving them all behind. In disappointment, the dog lied on the pavement, its once shining eyes now staring sadly at the Kenshingumi.
Soujiro noticed the sudden change in his dog – in worry, he left Kamatari talking with Yumi and approached Misao-chan, kneeling beside her and gently asking her what was wrong.
Misao-chan apparently didn't acknowledge his concern – she looked away with a glint of sadness in her large, brown eyes.
"Mou, Misao-chan…onegai," Soujiro pleaded, running his gloved hand over her short fur. "Don't be sad…Kamatari's making a way for us to stay."
Kamatari tore the phone away from her ear; with a flick of her wrist, it folded up, and she pocketed it the minute it was closed. Soujiro, whose sparkling blue eyes were filled with worry, stared inquiringly at Kamatari and asked for Yumi's answer.
"She said it was alright," Kamatari said. "She understands that it's important for you to know more of your past."
"Please remind me to thank her later, Kamatari-chan." Soujiro thanked her with a smile, then stood up, gently pulling on the leash to make his dog stand up. Misao-chan, feeling that her way of doing things (which was to mope around until she got what she wanted) worked, bounded up and ran all the way across the park.
The whole group was buried in silence.
It was as if everyone was waiting for Misao's reaction – if she would laugh maniacally, if she would cry hysterically, or if she would just sit there and stare at nothing, too dumbstruck to speak. But what Makimachi Misao had done was much more unexpected, and by this, she took everyone by utter surprise.
"Let's go to the mall."
Those were the words she said once she realized that Soujiro and his friend were out of earshot. Everybody stared at her as if she was insane.
"What?" Sagara Sanosuke asked, bewildered. "You want to go to the mall?"
"You heard me." Misao said, standing up from her seat. She started to walk away, towards the other exit of the park. "I want to go to the mall."
"You can't go to the mall." Kaoru said, standing firm on her place.
"Why not?" Misao said with her voice strangely small and quiet. "I want to go to the mall. I want to buy everybody their Christmas presents. Even that girl – what's her name? – Honjou Kamatari-san."
"Misao-chan…" Megumi quietly murmured in a comforting manner, "Don't keep it all to yourself…please, we don't want you to end up…"
But in just a split second, everything changed. Misao had turned around, her long, braided hair following her every movement. She had a smile on her face; a complete contrast to the tears flowing downs her cheeks. Her body was being racked with sobs, and she was shaking from head to toe.
"Why can't I go to the mall…?" she asked between sobs. "Why you want me to stay here and suffer? Because Sou-chan suffered because of me, is that it?"
"No, Misao-chan, that's not what we meant –
"But his suffering's useless now, isn't it? He doesn't remember me! He doesn't know who I am!" She cried, burying her face in her hands. She fell onto the ground slowly, kneeling as she cried her heart out. "He…he doesn't know who I am…" she whispered, finally losing grip. She could feel the hot droplets of tears staining her face, rushing down her cold, pink cheeks, dripping through her fingertips. The snow had fallen quietly all the time, surrounding her with small glowing circles of white.
"That's not true…" Kaoru said, smiling a sad smile as she approached the 19-year-old girl. She kneeled beside her and patted her back, trying to think of good ways to console the heartbroken girl. "He knows who you are…he…just doesn't remember everything…."
"Well, that's better for him," Misao sobbed out, trying desperately to stop her tears. "He…wouldn't have to go through all that pain seeing me…"
The rest of the Kenshingumi watched with caring eyes. Was love so strong that it could wreck someone's life? Was it so strong that it shatters someone's being wholly; was it so strong that it is able to drive a person to take his own life? Never did they imagine that love could bring out the most negative of effects…it was always that the world had fed them with images that love was something that was always full of joy and never-ending happiness, that a world full of love was a happy and joyous place. Never did they expect, in their lives, that love could be such a destructive force.
Rushed sounds of footsteps trampling snow was heard, along with small steps that echoed through their ears. A flash of black fabric and a two firm steps made by two lace-up boots came their way, preceded by four paws stopping silently by them.
A soft voice startled all of them, speaking in such a consoling tone.
"Doushite na no, Misao-chan?"
Soujiro himself was surprised by the words that just came from his mouth. It seemed so natural that he would call her by her name, so natural that he would kneel in front of her and stare kindly at her green eyes. He didn't even think of it before he did it – his body gave way automatically, so did his brain. The girl whom he was just introduced to, Makimachi-san, as he remembered, removed her beautiful face from her palms and looked up at him, tears still streaming down her pink-tinted cheeks.
"Nakanaide yo," he whispered softly, taking one hand and discarding it from its glove. He leaned forward towards the crying girl and smiled a soft smile, his blue eyes filled with warmth and compassion. Slowly, he took his hand and cupped Misao's cheek, gently wiping her tears away with his thumb.
Misao stared at Soujiro as he proceeded to console her. His soft skin swiped her tears away as she looked at him, eyes filled with disbelief. Was Soujiro this kind to still comfort her in her time of sadness, even though all that time he needed her, she was nowhere to be found? And was Soujiro this kind that even if he had forgotten all about her, and at most knew only her name, he would still console her as if she was his best friend? Misao finally concluded that all these questions' answers were 'yes', as she did a long time ago, and a small smile crept up to her lips.
"I don't like it when you're crying," Soujiro's soft voice murmured softly, as he took his hand to dry Misao's other cheek of her tears. "Because I'll cry for you if you are."
"S-sou-chan…"
"Because I'll live for you even if you wouldn't live for me…I'll die for you even if you wouldn't die for me…" Soujiro continued to say quietly, concentrated of ridding Misao of her tears. Misao was still staring at him, letting the words of the supposed-to-be Tenken sink in.
"Sou-chan…"
"I'll love you even if you wouldn't love me…" he continued, "And I'll do everything for you, even if you wouldn't do anything for me."
"Dakara…nakanaide yo." He said with a smile, a smile so genuine that the coldest heart could even melt right before it. Misao sobbed. How did she ever hurt such a kind person like Soujiro?
"Sou-chan…." Misao whispered, unable to find the right words to say. Who would, after hearing all what Soujiro had said? There was such a small percentage of people that would be willing to do everything for their loved one even if the other person wouldn't do anything for them, and Soujiro was part of that small percentage. And the thing is, he was willing to do all of this for Misao. There could be no words to express what Misao was feeling right at that moment, or any action to portray her feelings. She could only stare so happily at the handsome soccer player, who was kneeling right before her, comforting her, smiling so warmly.
But before Misao could do anything else, before reality could even bite her, Soujiro had stood up and left his kneeling place in front of her. He had said goodbye to everyone, and sent a small wave towards her, and had started to walk slowly away. Misao-chan, the dog, was following her owner against her will, as they went away, slipping through her fingertips one more time.
Reality had bitten her too late than needed. Once she was back to herself, Misao had lost her chance – she had stood up immediately and ran after Soujiro, her boots clunking against the pathway, resounding throughout the place. She could even hear the Kenshingumi calling out her name. Misao continued to run, but her effort was to no avail. Soujiro and his friend, Kamatari, with his dog, were already inside the black SUV.
Nevertheless, the will to survive was once again rekindled. Misao stopped halfway, but she was determined to make Soujiro remember her.
"Sou-chan!!" she had screamed, her voice ringing throughout the park. "Sou-chaaan!!"
Despite her efforts, and the world seeming to be against her, everyone probably thought that she was going to let Soujiro go. But being Makimachi Misao, she swore to not give up.
"Daijoubu?"
Soujiro tore his gaze away from the window and turned to look at Kamatari. Misao-chan was settled beside them, lying on the upholstery, looking very depressed. "Eh?"
"Daijoubu, Sou-chan?"
"Ah, hai…boku wa daijoubu desu…" Soujiro trailed off, now continuing to stare out the window. He could still see Misao's form, standing in the middle of the park, staring after their car.
The rest of the trip towards home was rather uneventful. Kamatari was quiet, so was Soujiro – Misao-chan seemed to be depressed from what had happened earlier. Even though the silence inside the car was deafening, no one bothered to stop it. Even if they did, it was impossible to find a proper word to say.
The black SUV stopped in front of the front doors, waiting for its passengers to disembark. Slowly, the three left the car and entered the home, greeted by a surprised Shishio Yumi.
"What happened?" Yumi asked, concerned. "I thought you're going to stay out later than expected."
"Nothing, really." Soujiro answered, letting go of the leash and letting Misao-chan slump down to the floor in sadness. "We just bumped into my old friends – you know them. Kenshin-san, Sanosuke-san, Megumi-san, Kaoru-san…" he trailed off yet again, walked up the spiral staircase that led to the second floor. His yes were yet in another shade of dull navy, his lips set in a thin line. It appeared to the two women below that he was thinking hard, contemplating on something so hard to explicate.
As Soujiro entered his room and closed the door behind him, he looked around the place. Something was nagging him at the back of his mind, but the power of a thunderous headache overpowered it; he winced, staggering his way to his bed in order to rest his aching head. What caused his pain, anyway? How come it seemed that he was supposed to remember something at the instant he entered his bedroom? The failure of not knowing what it was sent Soujiro annoyed – his head was already splitting in half due to a headache, and the world expected him to remember something.
He plopped himself down to his bed, not even thinking of shaking off his shoes. He laid there, his puffy black hair scattered around his head, his pale complexion immediately a contrast to his dark blue duvet. He had his eyes closed in a wince, his lips in a grimace of pain.
There was something utterly familiar about his dialogue earlier – to that girl, named Misao. His headache had subsided, therefore letting him think of her clearly, peacefully.
Now that he thought about it, he was sure that he had heard his words earlier some other time before. It was like he was just reciting it all over again, like a tape that had been playing for the longest time. But he knew that Makimachi Misao was a girl he just met – there could be no way that he had known her beforehand.
But that fact made it even all so stranger. The actions that he had done earlier – kneeling before Misao and ridding her of her tears, consoling her with his words that he felt came from the deepest recesses of his heart – all of those felt so natural. It was as if he was supposed to do that all along.
Another bolt of pain came crashing through Soujiro's head. He groaned, rolling himself over, so that he was lying on his side, facing the window. The night sky had fallen, with small white circles flowing down to the ground.
Seeing the snow made another migraine sear through his head. But the pain didn't stop, just like Soujiro expected – it came and refused to stop, with pain throbbing uncomfortably in his head, tearing it in half. He winced and groaned, closing his eyes once again in hopes to stop the sting.
Alongside the twinges of his aching head, memories buried long ago resurfaced. There were so many memories that Soujiro couldn't even concentrate as he curled up into a ball, trying to rid himself of the uneasiness that was starting to spread. So many pictures began flashing in his mind's eye, but some of them were clearer than everything else.
"Mou…" Soujiro groaned to himself as he clutched his head. "Stop it…"
Pictures of a girl, of snow, of the balcony in the resort…they all flashed repeatedly, sending pain throughout his head constantly. Aoshi was entered somewhere, so was a necklace of silver, his friends…he was getting confused by the minute, by the second, but his mind refused to stop. Memories of getting college applications, of standing in the rain, of going home all wet and soggy…they kept coming back, not leaving Soujiro in peace. Others were included in the mix too – memories of his birthday, the first day that some girl met Aoshi, the day he was destined to leave Japan…the day he heard Aoshi's plan…the day he had concluded that he had no chance, that he was going to take his life just for her, and that he was going to do everything just for her sake….
…just for that girl's sake….
…just for the girl he loved…the girl he had given his heart and soul to…the girl whom he had considered his best friend.
…she was the girl he was going to cry for.
Soujiro cringed in pain as one last bolt of uneasiness cracked through his head. He stayed there, on his bed, wishing for the pain and all the confusion go away.
Three knocks came on Soujiro's door, resounding throughout the room. He tried to stand up, but the pain that was still echoing in his head refused him to do so. Instead, he remained on the bed, clutching his head in efforts to ease himself.
The door had swung open, and he could head someone entering his room. Kamatari's voice soon made itself known.
"Sou-chan," she said, "Someone's here to see you."
Soujiro, still cringing in pain, turned away and murmured his words. "I'm not feeing well."
"It's that girl from before," Kamatari continued, ignoring Soujiro. "…the one in the park."
As much as Soujiro wanted to entertain Misao, his head had forbidden him to do so. But, being the supposed-to-be Tenken he was, he stood up amidst his body's protests and silently followed Kamatari out his room, taking off his coat in the process.
"Misao-chan!"
She was running down the street as fast as her feet could carry her – she knew she was no soccer star, but she had to do everything she could. Misao couldn't afford to lose Soujiro yet again.
"Misao-chan, stop for a moment!" she heard Sanosuke cry out from behind her, apparently chasing her.
"I can't!" Misao said, wiping the tears from her eyes as she ran. "I shouldn't stop now! I can't let Sou-chan get away from me again!"
"I know what you mean!" Sanosuke cried, hurriedly going after the girl. "But you can't go there running all the way!"
"Yes I can!" Misao argued, sharply turning a corner, making a crowd of passers-by split into two. The crowd was split again after Sanosuke ran through them.
"No you can't!" Sanosuke replied in a loud voice, still sprinting. "Do you want Soujiro to see you like that – a wreck? You've been running through the city!"
"He won't care!!" Misao screamed through gasps of air, "He's my best friend!"
"Oh, he'll care alright," said another voice, coming from a car that was being driven alongside her. Misao stopped in bewilderment to see Kenshin's face peering at her from the window, smiling a huge grin. "He'll be worried why you look like you've been harassed."
Suddenly, a car door swung open, revealing Megumi. "C'mon, get in!"
Kenshin put his car into a complete stop, permitting Misao to jump out of the vehicle and hurry herself up to the second floor of the Shishio household. She threw the front doors open, only to see Yumi and Kamatari discussing something in the front hall.
"Misao-chan!!" Yumi exclaimed in surprise, completely taken aback. "What are you doing here?"
"Sou-chan!!" Misao said quickly, looking at Yumi pleadingly. "Where is he?"
"Sou-chan's right upstairs." Kamatari said, quite surprised by the girl she had seen earlier crying in the park. "Why? He seemed to be preoccupied with something – I think he's busy – you shouldn't go barging in his room –
Misao was ready to storm up the stairs and do everything the opposite of Kamatari's advice when she felt a hand grasp her wrist.
"Take your coat off for a moment." Yumi said quietly. Misao obeyed, slowly taking off her light blue coat and placing it on the rack. Kamatari went upstairs to get the needed boy.
"So, where is she now?"
Both of the women located at the front hall were surprised by a set of people who were suddenly standing there with them. Kenshin, Kaoru, Sanosuke and Megumi stopped in their tracks once they saw who was standing in the hall. They all expected it would be Kamatari, and not Misao, who would be waiting there.
"I'm right here." Misao said, albeit morosely. Silence was dropped on them like a bomb right after Misao ended her dialogue, probably due to her nervousness of once again meeting Soujiro.
"Konbanwa," Soujiro's voice made everyone startled a few minutes later. There was something new with him, as if he turned paler, but everyone else shook it off. "I am sorry you have to follow me all the way here."
"We don't mind." Kenshin replied with a smile.
Everyone's eyes were placed on the soccer star as he slowly made his way down the spiral staircase, Kamatari leading him. Once his feet were firmly placed on the first floor, he had turned to Misao, a smile on his face.
"You wanted to see me?" he asked politely, smiling again.
Misao looked at her feet. After a few seconds of thinking she looked up again, only to see Soujiro's smiling face for the second time. A pang of guilt raced through her heart, but she ignored it as she nodded.
"Well then, if you wish to speak to me privately, let us go ahead." Soujiro suggested. He turned around to the Kenshingumi and bowed slightly. "If you'll excuse us," he said, then bowing in turn to Kamatari and Yumi.
Soujiro had lead Misao down a corridor that ended into a balcony. He had stopped midway, and Misao had followed.
"Where would you like to speak to me?" Soujiro had asked in the most polite manner, as if he was a total stranger to Misao. "The veranda or a mere sitting room, perhaps?"
"What you prefer would be just fine." Misao answered in a small voice. Soujiro smiled and led her to a sitting room, their footsteps echoing throughout the empty hallway.
Soujiro took his slender fingers and opened the mahogany door, letting Misao through first then following her. When they both got in he closed the door behind him, settled himself on an armchair, and urged Misao to do the same.
"So what do you want to talk about?" Soujiro asked, peering curiously at the girl. He had flipped the switch earlier to make the fireplace filled with tongues of fire; now it was cackling merrily. Misao was staring at her lap, which was covered in black stockings. Her long plait of black hair rested on her shoulders, cascading down the front, in complete contrast to the white button-up shirt she was wearing. Her shirt was paired up with a pleated, plaid blue skirt, matched with loose lace-up boots that covered her feet.
To Soujiro, she looked quite adorable.
Misao, as she stared at her lap, thought of a good way to open up a friendly conversation. As much as she wanted to say that 'I'm really sorry for making you go through all this' line, she knew better, and she had to think of a better line to start up a jovial discussion.
"Are you nervous?" she heard him say in an amused tone. "You don't have to be – I don't eat people." He said.
The girl looked at him and was going to say something, until she noticed what was wrapped around the boy's neck. Her green eyes were pasted on the bandages for a while, until Soujiro smiled and noticed what she was looking at.
"I knew you'd notice it sometime." Soujiro said, lowering the collar of his black, button-up shirt. He fixed it momentarily, then stared at Misao right in her eyes. "Ask a question."
"How come…you have bandages around your neck?" Misao asked, looking concerned.
"Hmm…" Soujiro thought up an answer that wouldn't surprise Misao much. It was rather hard, but he managed to do so. "I don't really remember myself; my aunt had just told me what I did after I woke up. It was strange, to tell you the truth. It happened on night in September. My aunt told me that I was in my room, staring at myself at the mirror, holding a katana. I don't really know why I did it though – my aunt said that I slashed myself around then neck – probably trying to commit suicide." He chuckled, looking down on the bandages that were surrounding his neck. "Her guess was that I was doing it for a girl I used to know –
Soujiro's story was cut short when his face contorted slightly to portray pain – another headache had been present. It bolted through his head and made him groan audibly, his hand reflexively clutching a handful of hair. Misao, in alarm, had stood up and hurried to Soujiro's side, offering any assistance.
"Sou-chan," she asked him, a look of worry painted on her face, "Is anything wrong?"
Even though Soujiro tried his best to stop for a while and assure Misao that there was nothing wrong, he knew he couldn't do it. As Misao said those words his headache gained more power, making his head throb more. Why were here words so familiar, as if she had said them repeatedly all throughout his life?
"I'll call Yumi-san." Misao said, starting to walk off to the door. "Don't go anywhere."
As Soujiro sat on his chair, praying to the God above for his pain to stop, Misao ran down the hallway, intent on contacting Yumi. Once she reached the front hall she was thankful that everyone was still there.
"Yumi-san," she said while trying to catch her breath, "It's Sou-chan – something's happening to him."
Yumi was immediately worried, asking Misao to bring her to where her nephew was. "What happened?" she asked as she followed the girl down the hallway. "Is he alright?"
"He was telling me a story," Misao replied. "…then his head started to hurt. I don't know if this was the only time it happened, but…"
"We should go to the doctor as soon as possible." Yumi remarked seriously, stopping in front of the door as Misao did. She took the doorknob and swung the door open, revealing a slightly panting Soujiro seated on an armchair.
"I'm…" Soujiro said, raising his head, revealing a small, pained smile that was painted on his pale lips, "I'm alright. There's no…no need to go to the doctor." He murmured, trying to avoid grimaces. But his headache became stronger and he was forced to groan in pain, making Yumi take out her phone and call the family doctor.
"He's recovering."
Those were the first two words that the doctor had said once he had been informed of Soujiro's condition.
"You said that he had amnesia for three months now," the doctor verified. "And it was selective, am I right?"
Yumi affirmed both allegations.
"Well, I guess it is time for him to recover." The doctor replied. "Besides, it is his own brain that decides when he will recover or not. And his condition being selective amnesia, I do think that it will take only a short span of time for him to recover what memory he lost. But as I said earlier, it is his brain that decides. It can be that he's trying to remember it, or something's been making him remember of what he lost."
"What do you suggest we do?" the anxious aunt asked, sparing a glance at the sleeping boy. They were inside Soujiro's bedroom, all seated at different places, waiting for the doctor's decision.
"A good amount of bed rest, I suppose. And keep him away from dangerous activities, or anything that would make him nervous." The doctor said. "If he's trying to remember something, tell him to not remember everything all at once – it makes it harder for him to recover."
As Yumi accompanied the doctor out of the manor, silence fell on the group of six that was seated inside the room. All eyes were fixed upon the figure sleeping on a large bed, his angelic face softly lit by the lamps from each side of his bed.
"Makimachi-san," Kamatari suddenly said, making everyone else turn to the girl who just stood up. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going home." Misao said quietly, starting to walk towards the door. She had her head down low, green eyes placed on the carpeted floor.
"Can't you at least stay?" Megumi said as she stood up as well, following the girl. Misao had stopped, with her hand resting on the doorknob. The younger-looking girl cast a look at the group.
"I'm sorry." She said, still in a lifeless voice; she then cast a glance at the sleeping boy before twisting the doorknob and exiting the room.
Nakanaide yo.
I don't like it when you're crying, because I'll cry for you if you are.
I'll live for you even if you wouldn't live for me.
I'll die for you even if you wouldn't die for me.
I'll love you, even if you wouldn't love me.
And I'll do everything for you, even if you wouldn't do anything for me.
Dakara…nakanaide yo.
She felt her body slide slowly down to the floor, her back slithering against the door once she closed it behind her. Uncontrollable tears flew down her cheeks, sobs shaking her whole body. His words had been playing itself in her brain over and over again. He had proven his words were true – just by the story that he was telling a while ago. He had attempted to take his life to stop himself from hurting, knowing that he couldn't live without her anywhere near him. But what else was he to do? He had nothing left to live for, so he decided that he should die.
But the world had disagreed, letting him live.
The world still wanted him to suffer.
Gomen nasai yo, Sou-chan.
How could she have done such a thing to Soujiro? He had been willing enough to do everything for her. He had suffered all the while helping Misao to make herself happy, even if it included the idea of him out of the picture. He endured so much pain in trying to make her life a living heaven while in the process he made his life a living hell. Soujiro had loved her to the extent that he was willing to die – something so extreme that Misao could not even think of it as a possibility.
But it was a possibility.
And it had happened.
The image of an unconscious Soujiro tattooed itself in her mind. Music of nothing but forlorn had been playing inside her head ever since Soujiro had left, and now, as she sat crying outside his bedroom, it began playing in a louder scale.
Maybe it had been better if she hadn't chased him, if she didn't come to his house to talk to him. Maybe it would be best if she had just let him go and regret everything that she had done in her life and to his life too. She was the source of all his problems anyway. Maybe she should just go and kill herself just for his sake, so that when he wakes up he wouldn't have to face the source of his sorrow.
Gomen nasai.
He had almost taken his life just for her, just because of her. The wound that was hidden by the bandages wrapped around his neck – it was made just because of her. And all that time that Soujiro had been dying inside – she had ignored everything and lived in her happy little world. What kind of a best friend was she, then? Misao knew she wasn't the best person in the world – but still – to cause all this harm to one person, just because she existed…
"Sou-chan…" she sobbed out.
Nakanaide yo.
Author's notes: I am really sorry if this sucked, and I really, really am sorry if I waited for a year and so to update this…I am sooo, sooooooo sorry. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me! Please? I'm going to update the last and final chapter as soon as possible! I promise!
Anyway, I would like to thank all of you guys for your support all this time.
Here's the Special Notes for Special People part:
CurlsofSerenity-san: Thank you soooo much
Lord Cirenmas: Thank you sooo much too
sou-chan-san: Thank you sooo much for your comments; I feel proud of myself if I make someone cry over my works..hehehe
Mohaki-san: thank you once again
Metajoker-san: Thank you sooo much
Jane-san: Thank you
intoxicating-san: Thank you soooo much
Psycho-kyugurl: thank you for keeping on reading, at least I hope you read this
sophomoric genius-san: I hope his recovery is dramatic enough for you
Silver Nightingale-san: I hope this is long enough for you
Mitchy-san: Ah…ok…. Teachers really get on our nerves, eh?
Ken-san: I hope she showed enough emotion here…I was having problems on how to show that while not in Misao's POV
White Witch-san: ahehehehehe…joke lang naman un eh. : I hope Misao suffered enough…
Tesuka-chan-san: I remember your fanfic very well, and I thank you for bringing such a masterpiece to this world. I hope you're still reading this junk.
Botan-chan-san: Thank you soooo much
MiTa-san: Thank you again
Regina-terrae-san: thank you sooo much
Person-san: Ah! Arigatou gozaimasu!
Gyneez-punk-nanashi: thank you sooo much
Moonstorm-san: Thank you for finding this unusual. ;
Msos-san: thank you
Squeaks-sama-san: Thank you, and I'll put it
Aikenka-san: Thank you, but I'll be disturbed if Kamatari's still a guy…ahehehe
Scorpion05-san: I hope I've consoled you somehow through my ficcie. I agree with your saying.
Snow-baby-san: thank you
Istupid: thank you…
Autumn Willow-san: thank you, and dimantrien is a good friend of mine.
Redmoon-night-san: Thank you so much
Tomboy101-san: of course, and I hope you enjoyed
Shessybaby02-san: thank you so much
sLL-san: ah, thank you, and about Aoshi…it was getting tiresome. ;
Crystal Snowflakes-san: Thank you
Kyosha-san: Thank you, and I agree on meteor garden, and I hope you enjoyed
Raven-san: Thank you
Yamitamashii-san: thank you so much
Dragons Maiden: I'm happy I made you happy
Crusader-san: thank you
Taijyasango-san: thank you, and I hope you enjoyed
Panda-san: thank you so much
Unknown-san: yes, kamatari is a guy in the show. But I made him a girl. Thank you.
Zennou-sakusha-san: Thank you
DeeDee-Chan-san: Thank you
Koukeisha: Thank you, and thank you for your offer
MSN-CHAN-san: Thank you
Killualoves17-san: I'm sorry if I haven't been able to fulfill your request. Thank you
Poison of Words-san: Yes, I am Filipino, and thank you so much.
Engel Star 13-san: thank you
Call me Baka-san: Thank you so much
I am so sorry everyone if this chapter did not meet your expectations…I am soooo, soooo sorry!!!
Please stay on for the last chapter!
A. Pikachu
P.S: dakara nakanaide yo: so don't cry
Boku wa daijoubu desu: I'm alright
Daijoubu?: are you alright?
Gomen nasai yo, Sou-chan: I'm sorry, Sou-chan