A/N: NEW CHAPTER! READ!

Sry I haven't updated!

Oh and thanx to karen! (Casey Windsor) for taking her time to check my stupid grammar mistakes!

"I dunno why I care so much

When I shouldn't care at all"

Your boyfriend sucks- The Ataris

"Partying and babbling too much"

HERMIONE'S POV

I blinked. It felt as if my upper eyelashes were made of solid Metal. Very heavy solid metal. My head was hurting like hell. My legs were failing too.

I should have known . . .

My so called friends have given me some little pills saying: 'they would make me feel better'.

And they did for a little while. It felt as if I was flying. But the effect passed and now my head felt like if it had been replaced with a bomb about to explode.

And to top it all: I had a date with Andrew. Not that I didn't like dates. But who wants to go on a date when they have a headache like this?

I was walking toward my dorm when I hear a male voice yelling my name.

"Hermione! Hermione!" It was Ernie McMillan, the Head Boy. He was running towards me and when he finally reached me he was panting for breath.

"So, we're on for Friday night, right?" Ernie asked me when he could finally breathe normally.

I blinked at him. Did I have a date with him or something? Oh no. Not with him, please.

Argh! Fucking headache! Remember Hermione remember. . .

"My party . . . ? Remember? In our common room?" He said noticing the puzzled look in my face.

"I told you to invite your friends and you said okay" He said anxiously.

"Oh! Yeah, of course we're on. Looking forward to it" I said.

"And...?"

"And yes, I already told my friends, they said they'll be there"

"Great! Thank you Hermione! Thank you. You rock!" And he gave me a little kiss on the cheek.

Ernie could be so cheesy sometimes, but he was okay.

I had completely forgotten about the party. Luckily, I had told my friends already.

Gosh, my head was failing me.

Friday night

I glanced at my clock. Half and hour to the party. People would be starting to arrive anytime soon.

I went to the mirror of my bathroom to check my reflection.

My make up was awesome. I was wearing a halter shirt and a mini that Andrew brought me for the party. And I was wearing a pair of black high heels.

If had to use a word to describe myself, I would have said Perfect.

I reached to grab the perfume bottle; and that's when I saw what ruined my perfect look.

Cuts. The cuts I've made to myself. I needed my potion. There was only one potion that made cuts vanish. It was like starting all over again. Just as my arms were free of cuts, I wanted to start making some.

I lowered to grab the little bottle I had with my potion. It was always under my bed.

And sure enough it was there, but there was a problem. The bottle laid on the floor, but the cork was far away from it.

I quickly took the bottle. And shake it: it was empty.

"Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!" I threw the bottle and covered my face with my hands.

What was I going to do now? The potion took days to make, and I would have to steal the ingredients from the hospital wing and Snape's cupboard.

I needed something like a charm, a spell . . . that's it!

I went to my bookshelf and looked for a big old fashioned book. I took it and went trught he pages till I found what I was looking for.

It was a spell to make cuts like mine vanish for . . . 5 hours or so. It was perfect.

I quickly said the words quickly tapping my right arm with my wand and then my left arm.

The cuts vanished.

I was ready for the party.

DRACO'S POV:

The whole party looked like a huge hit. Slytherins, Gryffindors, Revenclaws and Hufflepuffs all mixed. It was a magical party, literally: Music was coming out from a magical stereo and it was 10 times louder thanks to a spell, I guess. Someone also had put a charm on the portrait so then the people inside the common room could see through the wall with the portrait, but the people outside couldn't; McMillan was watching the portrait closely to see if a guest wanted to enter. There also was a silencing spell on the whole common room so that everybody outside the common room couldn't listen to the loud music.

There were people dancing, people chatting, people drinking and couples making out.

Yes, people were having a blast.

I, on the other hand, found the party rather boring. Yes, I had danced with some girls, and yes the amount of different alcoholic beverages was amazing. But there was nothing interesting to do. I took a sip of my drink and made my way through some chairs in the other side of the room.

I sat on a chair next to a table full of empty glasses. I was starting to consider leaving the party, but then I knew what I would have to face the next day if I left early. Zabini would be asking questions. No: better stay at the party and get bored, than leaving and ruining my reputation.

"Stupid—hip—bastard--hip" Said a voice between hiccups.

I turned to face a very drunk Hermione.

"Granger? Whoa, are these all yours?" I said pointing at the empty glasses on the table.

"What? Oh, it's you—hip—yeah—hip---Those are mine—hip---I'm a little—depress—hip" she said.

"A little? You look devastated" I said looking at her faded make up. Hermione just glanced towards the floor. She seemed very sad, and she kept hiccupping.

It was so unusual seeing Hermione this down. Normally she was always smiling.

And now first on the Astronomy Tower, then the party . . . Maybe Hermione wasn't the Miss. Confident we all knew. Maybe she had secrets, problems . . .

I stared at her. She was still looking at the floor, she raced her head lazily and looked around and started crying. Loudly. Crying and hiccupping.

"Why? ---Hip---why am I so stupid? ---Hip--- I shouta known . . . Hip" She said looking down again. She drank her whole glass and kept crying.

I just kept staring. What could I do? It was like watching a butterfly trying to fly with a broken wing: Pitiful. I stood up and went for a glass of water.

By the time I returned Hermione already had another glass with beer or something. I took it from her hand and gave her the glass of water. Then I sat on the chair next to her.

"Wha--? Whatisit?" She said looking at the glass I had given her.

"It's water, drink it. You are way too drunk to keep drinking" I said looking at her to see if she was going to drink the water.

She looked at it and without hesitating she drank it just as she had with the other glasses.

I waited a minute or so before asking: "Are you okay?"

She kept staring at the floor. Then she looked at me and threw her arms around me and putting her head on my shoulder and crying loudly.

"Oh Draco! It's so unfair!! Why?" She said still crying. I was shocked, what could I do? She had called me by my first name and hugged me. I couldn't just push her off me, so I patted her on the back.

"W—what's unfair?" I asked trying to sound like I cared.

"What's unfair? WHAT'S UNFAIR?!? Everything is unfair!! Life is unfair!" She said.

For a moment I just kept patting her, then she let go of me and stared at the floor again. Now she wasn't crying as hard as before, but she was sobbing quietly.

"Look at the corner, on the couch; do you see a couple making out? A blond guy and a brunette?" She said not taking her eyes off the floor. I looked and just as she had described I saw a couple making out, a little too carried away. The girl was on his lap and they looked as if they were trying to eat each other's faces. There was something familiar about the guy . . .

"That's Andrew: My boyfriend" She said loudly and started crying again. I turned to look at her. She was covering her eyes with her hands.

I was speechless. How could he do that to Hermione? When he was in the same party as her? It was hard to believe. Almost every guy had fantasized about Hermione at least once, and he (Andrew) was cheating on her.

"Look what he's done to me! I look awful! . . . He said he cared, he said he loved me . . . he . . . he. . . " She said unable to finish her sentence.

"We were supposed to last a little longer . . . after all we have done . . . we had sex . . . we . . . we did everything . . . "

My eyes widened. Hermione was talking to me about her sex life with her boyfriend. I needed to think about something to say . . .

"Well, if he can't appreciate you, he doesn't deserve you" There! That was something every girl wanted to hear.

Hermione stopped crying and turned to look at me directly in the eyes.

"You know what? You're right! He doesn't deserve me! And anyways, boys aren't worth my time!" She said changing her mood compleatly to firm, and even a little cheerful.

"All boys are the same!" She looked at me like waiting for me to say something.

"Well, not all boys . . . "I said defensibly. She glared at me.

"No, you're right: all boys stink" I said insulting myself.

"Yeah! And you know who else stinks? Harry and Ron! Oh my God, don't get me started on those 2!! After they discovered the opposite sex, which let me tell you was very late, they couldn't stop thinking about anything else! Those 2 horny boys! Trying to get lucky with me, they were . . . oh, I think they we did actually . . . can't remember very well thought . . . " She said more to herself than to me.

"Yeah, you know who else too? Seamus, yeah he kept pushing me into having sex with him even though he had a girlfriend; well, I think we all know how Seamus is. Oh yeah, and this other guy in Revenclaw . . . can't remember his name, but he was one of the worst he told me. . . "

Once she started on her old boyfriends there was no stopping her. The common room started to look empty. People started to leave. But Hermione was still talking.

". . . I guess, I can't understand people! Well I mean I can, 'cause I know how to act so they will like me . . . but I'm . . . I'm sick of acting! I'm sick of pretending! I'm sick of everyone thinking I'm Miss Confidence! Why pretend? Why bother? I'm just going to get hurt again! . . . Life's just too painful! I wish I could just . . . just die! Why live when you have no life to live? You know, sometimes cutting isn't enough! Sometimes letting the pain out' is just not quite enough!

Sometimes I wish I could just . . . just . . . maybe . . . maybe miss where I'm cutting and end it all off. Die, I mean"

I looked at her severely. She had been talking almost an hour about stupid things, but now she was being serious. She was talking about death. She was talking about suicide.

"Oh, God I think I'm gonna . . . " And she puked all over the floor.

I took out my wand and muttered 'Evanesco' pointing at the vomit. It vanished.

Hermione looked as if she had done her talking.

I helped her stand up but her feet were zigzagging. She was blinking a lot and she looked like she was having a lot of trouble focusing things.

I couldn't just leave her like that. Everybody had left now.

I tried to make her walk, and at the beginning she could, but just as we were at her door, she tripped. Her chin was on my chest and her arms were hanging. She looked at me and said "You know what? You're really cute" then smiled and passed out. I grabbed her just in time and carried her to her room.

I placed her on the bed carefully, took off her shoes and that's when something weird happened.

In her arms, scars started appearing, and not just scars but cuts too. Some very long and some shorter, some looked very old and others looked really recent.

And then Hermione's words echoed in my mind "You know sometime cutting isn't enough!" "I wish I could just . . . maybe miss where I'm cutting and end it all off"

So this was nothing new. She had tried to harm herself before. But what if she tried something worse this time? With the entire Andrew thing going on, what if she really 'miss' this time? What if she really got herself killed?

No. No! NO! She couldn't . . . she won't . . . she wouldn't dare!

But she had done it before, cutting I mean, what if she did dare to kill herself?

I looked at Hermione sleeping peacefully.

Then I realized how tired I was myself.

I looked around and saw the couch . . .

It looked so comfortable I could just curl there and sleep . . .

And so I did.

A/N: REVIEW!