Disclaimer: Don't you know yet? I don't own Red Dwarf! Or any of the characters! I wasn't even born when it was first aired!
Author's note: I really quite enjoyed writing this chapter. Especially Cat's bit. Reviews have kinda dried up. Even if you've already reviewed, please do it again! I love it when I open my emails and there's one saying 'Review Alert.' (Sad? Yes.)
Cats can lay silently for hours, watching and waiting for their prey. They sit and stare at one space until something comes along that they can claim as theirs. Hunched up on the top shelf of the munitions cabinet, Cat was doing just this. His eyes fixed on the door to the corridor, Cat gently maneuvered himself to a more comfortable and more convenient position. He licked his dry lips tentatively. Two hours passed. A fly buzzed somewhere further down the corridor. Cat's super-sensitive ears twitched with curiosity. He sniffed the air and readied himself. He wriggled effortlessly into a better poise. Still he stared intensely at the doorway.
Meanwhile, Lister was having a great time showing Nicole round the ship, thinking of Rimmer sitting in their room all by himself, wallowing in self-pity. He had taken her to the library again, (he really didn't understand the urge she possessed to go to that place, but if it meant being close to her, he was willing to do anything) then to Parrot's Bar for a couple of drinks before a brief, but exciting, spot of star-gazing in the Observation Dome, where she had accidentally brushed her hand against his, sparking a rush of electricity in his arm.
"We should get going," Nicole said, bringing Lister out of his daydream with a start.
"Wuh, yeah, yeah I guess," he mumbled clumsily. He escorted her out of the Observation Dome and they started to make their way down the corridor.
When the reached the doorway, Lister pressed his hand against the light-sensative panel, and it slid open with a harsh hiss. In one movement, Cat launched himself off the shelf, landed smoothly on the deck, did two complete forward rolls, stood up, took Nicole's hand in his, and leant on a ridge in the wall with his elbow.
"Hey, baby" he said charmingly, and he kissed the hand in his grip softly. Nicole seemed amused. Lister didn't.
"Jesus, Cat, you nearly gave me a smegging heart attack!" he said, clutching his chest with one hand and his forehead with the other, "You could have given some warning that you were gonna jump on us!"
"Oh, come on, Lister," Nicole reasoned with a giggle, "It's just his way."
"Oh, yeah? Well his way is deranged!" Lister retorted.
"So how are you?" Cat asked, but before she could respond he continued, "I'm feeling groovy tonight, babe. Groovy and ready for love," he leaned in close to her, "how about it?"
She tried hard to maintain a straight face, but eventually the laughter overpowered her.
"I'm sorry!" she said through gulps of air, "For a minute there it sounded like you were hitting on me!"
"I was." Cat stated. Nicole suddenly sobered.
"Oh. Sorry. Um..."
Lister saved her, "Just ignore 'im. He's been without female company for quite some time. It's sent 'im off the rails a bit."
Suddenly Nicole felt sympathetic, the first time she had done so towards the Cat, "Oh, poor you. How long has it been?"
"His entire life." Lister said in a mock state of compassion. Cat's face scrunched with embarrassment. Being a cat, he had to end this conversation with as much pride as possible.
"Hey, it's not that long! I mean, if you look at the history of the universe..."
"Give it up, Cat," Nicole said, gently. He slinked away, beaten. His spirits were greatly uplifted, however, when Nicole called after him, "I like your suit."
A/n: If you hadn't noticed, Nicole has become somewhat of a focal point for almost everyone, and I've just put Cat out of the running, so you know what that means....Rimmer and Lister in direct competition. Oh dear.
P.S. Holly and Kryten may make more appearances soon...
P.P.S. I hope to round this story up as quickly as possible, because I have thought of a killer sequel.