Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own anything affiliated with SVU. That pleasure belongs to Dick Wolf, as do the characters. God bless the man and his brain.
He's dead. So simple a fact, but so complex a feeling. Its almost unfathomable, his death I mean. I guess I knew someday it would happen, but Lord knows I'd rather him be here, sitting at his desk, helping solve a case. I guess, in the end, it all got to him, the brutality, the rape, the pain. I know that it gets to me sometimes. It gets to all of us, some cases more than others. We all try to keep it impersonal, but there is always going to be that one. That one that makes you break down inside. That one that drives you to the brink, that makes you want to do anything you can to solve it.
He had one like that. I've never seen him like that before. When she died, something in him died and it was sheer tortures to see him like that, especially when he was the one who usually stood strong and didn't let his emotions get in the way. He was always there to make me laugh, us laugh. Sure, there were times when he annoyed the hell out of us, but everyone is annoying at times.
I still can't believe he's gone. He's not supposed to be dead. He's supposed to be sitting at his desk, clicking around on his computer or complaining about one thing or another. Supposed to be here to be angry with the perps, kind with the victims, frustrated with cold cases, irritated with the law. He's supposed to be here. God, why isn't he here?