August 18, 2003...
A couple of days had already passed by real quickly which I didn't even expect for it to happen so soon. The past couple of days were ok I guess, but the fact that I couldn't handle the 'hospital' foods that they gave me every single day for me to eat the sickening food; they tasted so terrible and awful. And then room that I was resting in smelt really...weird, but I'v already gotten used to it by now anyways so it wasn't really that bad after all. . .
Yugi just visited by again yesterday in the afternoon to check and see if I was still doing perfectly fine from my illness. He brought me some good-looking rice balls that his grandpa had made back at the home in his game shop. Yugi told me that he had asked his grandfather if he could lend him some and give them to me as a small get-well gift back at the hospital .. so Sugoroku said it was ok; he also never knew that I was sick so it kinda surprised him when Yugi had told him spilling out the whole story what had happened to me the other day.
They were so delicious that I almost ate the whole full box. Of coarse I couldn't help but do this because I was really starving at the fact that I couldn't really eat anything at all all day because of the 'sick' foods I had to go through. Yugi just laughed at how I was munching down hungrily on one rice ball to another that were in both of my hands without even getting a chance to take a small break from the non-stop eating. Yugi's yami just stared at me with an amusement look but also had a little small weird expression that was cast upon his usual serious face. The ancient pharaoh was also with his innocent hikari as well.
It wasn't too long until Jonouchi, Honda, and Anzu also came by to see me too. They must of already known about what had happened to me because I bet Yugi told them that I wasn't feeling so well from my sickness. They stayed for a little bit but they left home no too long after awhile and I said goodbye to everyone.
Oh yeah, and tomorrow was the day I finally get released and get to go back home. I was feeling a lot better now than the last time and I wasn't really weak anymore, but I still felt a little bit tired and I had a small headache that made me daze, it wasn't too big but a very small one though, but I guess it was ok . . . better than before . . . . yeah.
I was so happy that I couldn't wait until I returned back at home.
I just wanted to go back home and live with my normal life once again before all of this ever happened in in the first place; I really missed it. I was also feeling over-excited about seeing Bakura again...I missed him a lot too. I'v noticed that I haven't been getting to see him in the past couple of days before today. It kind of disappointed and saddened me at the thought that he didn't even come by and check how I was doing. I wonder why he didn't. I hope he's feeling alright. -Maybe he was just too busy? . . But what could HE possiblly be busy with? All he ever does is remain inside the millennium ring 24/7 but he only comes out whenever he has to do something that's important to him, and also probably maybe the reason that he wants to beat the living hell out of me for the fun of it.. yeah that too probably. Demo what I didn't really miss about him was his abusive beatings towards me that I had to go through almost every single day of my life. Dosen't he have any emotions or feelings for me..? Not ... even alittle bit..? Dosen't he understand how much the pain really hurts inside, and the pressure? And everytime I cried he just got more angrier and started hurting me a lot more for being such a weakling; he didn't like it whenever I cried out, thats why I was usually always struggling to hide my uncontrollable tears away from my yami. Every time I try to show him that I love and care for him it seems like he just always shrugs it off and purposely ignore me..and he thinks I'm just another weak hikari for being so soft against his 'evil' more powerful self. I still didn't really understand him for doing this. What was it that made him do this to his very own hikari? I know he didn't do it for no reason, He must have at least ONE purpose for doing it. I know I'v told him in the past that why he had to torture my life for no reason but I knew that I was wrong . . . . he didn't do it for no reason. There was something that made him do it. But deep down inside of my yami's own heart ... I know that he's really not pure evil. He may like torturing people, killing them, laughing that evil maniac laugh whenever seeing his victims getting suffered by the tragedy, and the fact that he's just always thirsty for blood and rare flesh. . but I knew he still had that small little imperceptible caring feeling existed inside of him at least for someone that he slightly cared about; but also barely. It may be alot difficult for other people to figure that out by now but I already knew this for myself because I'v known him the most for a very long time other than anyone else in the whole wide world.
The beatings hasn't been happening for awhile now. It started right after I got attacked by those stupid big jerks. It seemed like he never did it ever again after that day. . or maybe I'm just losing my mind? Who knows, maybe I'll get hurt when I return back home again... I slightly scoffed at the thought
Ano, I was still surprisingly amazed and flattered by what Bakura had done for me on that one day...it seemed like Bakura just suddenly turned into a sweet and nice person . . and this made me wonder if he had really truly changed his ways about how he treats me now. I could sometimes notice the look of resist and hesitation in his brown eyes; that looked very much similar to my own while he did all those sweet things for me with the new sudden change in his personality. When I looked into his eyes that day when he was with me . . I saw that his eyes just softened more. I couldn't really recognize the usual evil look in his narrowed eyes that he had most of the time. No, it wasn't evil looking at all...it was actually more the look of caring and concern that filled his dark orbs that almost made it actually glint by the reflecting light that filled the room brightly. It was the very first time ever I saw him do that which surprised and shocked me a bit. Did he only do it for me and no one else? . . . I just smiled to myself just thinking about it.
He even stayed with me on that one lonesome dark night in the cold room.
I could feel him comforting and holding me close to him in his strong embracing arms that were wrapped tightly around me while I was still frightened from everything that was suddenly happening to me. I stopped shivering from the unusual condition of the cold room and immediately calmed down to his reaction as I gently rested my head on his chest sighing softly to myself. For some odd reason ever since then, it felt really nice being around his presents; I felt more comfortable being with him. I know this may sound awkward but I felt somewhat being protected for the very first time by my own yami while I was being held by him like that. Weird for saying something like that about someone who likes torturing me eh?
I remembered how gentle and soft his strokes were; it slightly made the pain go away inside of me and I felt much more comfortable and better. Just being around with him. . .it made me feel even better already. It felt really nice. It wasn't long until I could soon feel him resting his chin on top of my own head while whispering soft sentences from his mouth . . soothing them out very quietly and slowly. I just sighed and closed my eyes continuing to resume listening to his sweet lullaby. I just wanted to stay like that forever but I knew it wouldn't last too long. I just wished he acted more like this every time and showed me how he really felt towards me. . .
He doesn't need to hide it from me. It seems like he fights with his own self whenever he struggles between his different actions. . I can tell by the way he stubbornly hesitates. I guess he's not really used to the new feeling he never experienced before in his entire life. . .