Chapter 10 - Suicide
--
"Ryou, are you sure your feeling better already?" Yugi asked suspiciously, still curiously worried about the recovered teen.
"Yeah. I'm feeling just fine." Ryou responded back happily just like a normal person would as he just finished changing back into his old normal clothes; he folded his hospital uniform neatly as the boy placed them in top of the bed. . . seeming like he was now suddenly perfectly in better condition after all the situation before.
It had been already a couple of days after. Ryou was supposed to get released today. . the teenager was extremely estatic about finally going back home after everything that happened. Yugi was with him because he also knew about it too.
"..Ok then." The shorter boy smiled an unsure expression. . .
Finally after finishing getting ready, both of the teenagers walked out the room, as they together walked quietly through the empty endless-seeming narrow hallway.
"Ryou, I'm glad that your back to normal again." The tri-colored hair one smiled again, happily grabbing onto his good friend's arm while playfully holding it as they continued to slowly walk together.
"Me too Yugi." Ryou agreed softly while chuckling sheepishly.
"I was really concerned about you, don't scare me like that again. . I really thought something bad happened to you. ." Yugi spoke in a more serious lower tone of the change in his sudden voice while he kept his head low, staring at the ground beneath him sadly.
"Gomen. ." Came a soft and quiet apology of guilt from the other's mouth. "But, it seems like . . I still have a slight headache again that's making me a bit dizzy Yugi.." The boy sighed, running his fingers up his white locks as he felt like he was about to collapse again from the pain.
Immediately noticing the sudden impulse, the smaller boy quickly supported his friend, catching the other in his arms just in time as Ryou literally dazed and slightly lost his own balance.
"Ryou! Are you alright?" Yugi gasped helping the other to walk properly. .
"yugi..I'-I'm fine.." The boy stopped at his own tracks, suddenlyscanning the small area to search for a small chair nearby. Yugi carefully sat Ryou down on the thick wooden bench along with himself, the boy's violet eyes filled desperately with extreme concern and confusions as he stared intently at the youth's miserable face.
"Ryou..I don't think you should be out yet, you need more rest here.." A sadden frown slowly spread its way across Yugi's lips knowing at the thought that his friend wasn't in any better condition after all the whole previous excitement.
"Ryou..do you want me to take you home instead?" Yugi offeredto his own defeat, realizing at the fact that the boy wouldn't probably listen to him no matter what even after he had adviced the innocent teen to do what's best for his own health.
"N-No..it's ok." Ryou refused nicely.
"Are you sure??"
"..Yeah." Ryou slowly nodded his head weakly.
--
Bakura slowly strode his way alone through the quiet deserted non-obstreperous park; his long white locks hanging freely and loosely from his face usually covering up most of his common features, seemingly looking like the tomb robber was assiduously still pondering distressfully about his own hikari hesitantly wondering whether if the white haired devil should visit the boy at the hospital or not. . already knowing the fact that he hadn't seen Ryou in several days after that whole incident with him staying with the boy on that same day when Yugi and his yami also visited by. He knew he at LEAST needed to check and see if the teen was doing fine in his condition, afterwards how he saw what happened to him on that other day..he never even found out if the boy ever woke up later after the unexpected collapse. . .
// . . Hikari is probably still in that bed sleeping liek always.." Bakura scoffed pessimistically at the thought while lightly kicking a random pebble across the sidewalk idly with his foot.
The millenium ring around his neck glinted faintly from the dimmer shining light of the sun above, mostly covered by the dark cloudy sky that just seemingly appeared above not too long ago as he continued to lazily strode along the path. .
"Kuso..it looks like rain." Bakura mumbled disappointingly under his breath. Since already realizing that the tomb robber couldn't possibly return back home afterwards coming all the way roughly to where he presently was, he cursed something under his breath for the last time before finally deciding to just make his way to the hospital instead for shelter before rain would soon pour down.
--
It wasn't long until Bakura had finally reached the huge tall building. He took a deep breath before he led himself through the entrance door infront of him. .
Once coming here before, Bakua just started heading towards his hikari's room easily remembering the boy's room number. As he reached outside of the door, he turned the door knob opening it without any hesitation, easily expecting for him to find the youth to still be in bed sleeping peacefully.
His expression changed immediately, after finding that his light was nowhere to be found in sight anywhere in the room area. . .
// Where the hell- // Bakura trailed off. . he curiously scanned the room until he finally noticed the boy's hospital uniform that was on top of the bed. The ex tomb robber slowly approached it and picked up the clothing.
// Hikari...? // He suddenly dropped it to the ground beneath him as it landed infront of his foot. .
Not even knowing what had happened to the teenager, Bakura quickly ran out the room to search him as several suspicious and frantic thoughts took over his mind. .
Bakura began searching possibly everywhere as the white haired yami persistantly ran through the main hallways and up the stairs; he cursed something under his breath as the spirit of the ring couldn't find any trace of the boy anywhere.
Just as the theif grew angry and finally decided that he would go back again to possibly find the boy back at home after a whole 10 minutes, something finally caught the pale boy's attention. He slowly turned his head raising an eyebrow and unexpectedly noticed that Ryou was with the tri-colored teenager chattering to one another about some sentences that Bakura couldn't hear and understand that well since he was abit far off distance away from the two boys. . afraid that his own hikari would find and notice his presence around, Bakura quickly hid himself behind the hard cool wall; the one that was closer to both of them nearby. He slightly poked his head out for better hearing. .
"Yugi, where's your yami?" Ryou asked curiously.
"Oh. He's staying over at the game shop with my grandpa to help him do some random stuff around the house.." Yugi responded back to the other's question. "Why..?"
"Oh..it's nothing Yugi.. it's just that I'm always expected to see him with you all the time so I didn't know.." Ryou trailed off while staring at the ground beneath him.
"Oh I see. Speaking of Yami . . where do you think Bakura is at right now??"
Bakura slightly twitched after hearing what the suspicious shorter teenager just asked to his hikari.
"I-I don't know. . I still haven't seen him lately." Ryou spoke sadly.
"Does he even know that your going back home today??" Yugi asked while raising one of his eyebrow.
"I don't think so.." The boy frowned deeply while he sighed deeply. "He probably wouldn't even care anyways if I did or not so why worry Yugi?"
"What do you mean Ryou..?" Yugi asked with curious tone alone with his confused mind.
"..No,i-it's nothing Yugi..really." Ryou lightly shook his head.
"Tell me Ryou." Yugi gestured softly.
With one final sigh the other spoke spoke quietly..
"Haven't you noticed that he hasn't been here for the past couple of days to check and see if i was doing alright after that day he left me alone..?"
The tri-colored hair one nodded slowly in agreement.
"He didn't even tell me where he went of to, except he said that was going to ho back home, but I knew that I didn't really believe him... I mean what am I talking about..? Of coarse he's supposed to be like that, how stupid of me to ever think like that..." The youth whispered as he had several tears beginning to form in his eyes.
Yugi just arched his neck to the side, to get a better view of the boy's face.
"Everyone knows that he's stubborn, rude, and evil and he cares for noone but himself..." Ryou sniffled softly.
Surprised at hearing his hikari's unexpected and unusual remark about himself, Bakura angrily clenched his fists while he gritted his teeth together. // That little- how dare he talk shit like that about me. //
"I just only wish that he could think about me for once.." Ryou began sobbing quietly as he buried his own face in his hands.
Feeling awful for the boy , Yugi just gave his distressed friend a very depressed expression while he gently lifted the boy into his own arms embracing him. .
Ryou only cried silently into the smaller one's shoulder.
"Shh..Ryou. It's going to be ok, I know it will be." Yugi whispered softly as he gently patted the white haired teen's back soothingly.
"I HATE HIM!" Ryou suddenly shouted indignantly, deeply frustrated from everything that was happening with him along from the unusual illness he presently had . . . seemingly like the child couldn't possibly get rid of it no matter how much he tried his best.
Ryou had no idea that Bakura was actually listening to every one of their conversations. What made his yami more pissed was that they were talking about 'him'. Not even caring about them accidently noticing him anymore, the now angry tomb robber menacingly paced up to the both sitting youths. .
Yugi tilted his head from his previous attention with the crying boy, curiously staring at the person that he didn't even expect to see; his eyes soon grew wide at the sight..
Ryou's sobbings immediately stopped as soon as he saw his own yami's unexpected presence infront of him.
"Y-Yami..?? What-" Ryou gasped.
"Hikari..we need to have alittle talk..NOW." Bakura interrupted in a calmer tone in his serious voice as he grabbed his lighter half's wrist tightly, giving it a slight jerk to emphasize his point.
Ryou let out a small yelp as he got the second harder tug off from the chair he was sitting on. "P-Please Bakura, your hurting me." Ryou pleaded while trying to shake off the other's firm grip.
Ignoring his hikari's annoyance, Bakura continued to harshly lead the boisterous boy throught the hallways .., leaving the confused Yugi standing behind.
--
Ryou tried everything to possibly talk with the theif, but this only made Bakura more frustrated.
"Bakura, can we please talk instead??" Ryou begged more firmly this time while stumbling, still being literally dragged outside by his own darkness. Finally after all the extreme struggling, the two halves finally reached the outside of the tall building.
"Bakura, stop this! Let go!! Where are you taking me?!" Ryou shouted furiously to get his other half's attention towards himself.
Bakura finally released his own grip off the boy's now sore hand, grabbing him by the shoulders. "Uresei!! How could you talk crap about me like that to that little runt?! Huh?!?" Bakura glared intently into the other's surprised eyes.
"Bakura when did you..-?" Ryou trailed off slightly, changing the subject.
"Answer me!!" Bakura interrupted.
"Why are you getting mad at me for?!' Ryou yelled back at the top of his lungs. "And besides..why would you care?"
Actually amazed by his hikari's unusual back-talk and attitude for the first time, Bakura only stood speechless at the scene.
"The only reason why I said all those stuff about you to him was because it was all the truth and you know already know about it too! And you made me leave Yugi back there even before I got the change to tell him I had to go!" Ryou furiously told the ancient spirit.
"Watashi..watashi wanted to-" Bakura spoke in a softer tone to his own defeat, afterwards hearing his own hikari's correct statement about himself and realizing that he couldn't deny and resist the fact. .
"And don't make excuses Bakura, because you know that I'm right." Ryou was now the one to interrupt his darkness's studdering. " You didn't even bother to visit me, you didn't care!" Ryou continued.
"I was thinking about stopping by today to see you but you weren't even there okay?! Why won't you believe me??" Bakura cried.
"Whatever..I thought that you've finally changed your ways, demo now I know that I was stupid to ever think that.." Ryou whispered while he kept his head low, a small trail of tear slowly rolled down his covered face.
"..Hikari..I'm-" Bakura was about to finish his sentence but stopped at the sudden thought of remembering his own promise to himself.
// Ok I can't start to lose myself to him now..I can actually feel myself growing more softer again. I can't allow anyone else to know about all this..And I can't let them see it, not even my own hikari either. . .I'm sorry Ryou. // His fists were trembling in place.
"Well Hikari..that's just too bad if you got all your hopes up so soon..you know I would NEVER change." Bakura responded in a fake disappointment tone along with the sudden change of his attitude towards his light, revealing that once evil self of himself again in appearance; he gave Ryou a sadistic smirk.
"I hate you..." Ryou spoke indignantly while looking at his yami straight dead in the eyes, not recognizing and unaware about his own attitude.
"You know Ryou..that's just perfectly fine. I don't really give a crap even if you did or not because i also hate you as much as you do." Bakura forced a small smirk to appear on his unsure face while he crossed his own arms over his bare chest confidently.
" Oh is that so? " The boy scoffed softly.
" Yes, it is! "
" Why do you have to be so rude?? "
" Because you annoy the hell out of me! "
"But why?!" Ryou repeated with more curiosity.
"I just told you Hikari. . . " Bakura annoying rolled his eyes.
"That wasn't a really good excuse for why your always cold-hearted. Don't blame me for how the way you act towards everyone." Ryou also crossed his arms.
"Then don't ask me these stupid senseless questions!"
Bakura silently congradulated himself for his own successful plan; he smirked confidently at the thought of it, but it seemed that he was also having a difficult time struggling between the different opposings of his own reactions.
"Bakura, your the one who asked me in the first place." Ryou accused quickly.
". . And your point?"
". . . Bakura, What's wrong with you ??" Ryou asked in a more quiet voice.
"Nevermind." Bakura sighed while turning his back on the boy. "Hikari, shut up. . . just shut up okay. .?"
"Yami, just tell me what's wrong with you." The slightly shorter child gestured softly while gently grasping onto his darker half's hand.
"I SAID SHUT UP!" Bakura roared furiously, angrily but accidently punching his own shocked hikari quickly in the face. This made Ryou fall to the ground as he instantly held his own bruised face in his hands.
After just realizing his own unexpected actions, the tomb robber suddenly felt crestfallen after what he had done for the first time while he continued to stare surprisingly at the boy beneath him.
Unaware of what just happened to him, Ryou sobbed silently while he tried getting back up onto his feet from the ground.
Bakura's focused eyes carefully studied and followed the other's each and every slow movements; he really wanted to apologize to the teen..but it looked like something else irritably kept him from doing it. . .
Without even saying anything, Ryou finally stood up as he quickly turned his back from his yami. He began running towards the alley infront of him. .
"Ryou, wai-! Don't!" Bakura only watched the boy slowly dissappearing at further distance as he continued to run off with great speed.
// Damn. // Bakura cursed lowly at himself.
// Oh well. . I'll bet he'll return back home later anyways. // With one final soft sigh, Bakura turned on his heels, beginning to slowly strode his way back home as he kept his own hands in the pockets of his jeans. .
--
Ryou
I just wanted to get away from him as far as I possibly could..I didn't feel like seeing, talking, or listening to him right now at all. . . I kept on running and running to where I even didn't care of know where I was confusingly leading my ownself to. . Tears were also welling up in my eyes as it instantly blured my own vision, making the objects and surroundings infront of my eyes to be seen unclearly. I couldn't even keep the equanimity of my own mind right now. I was too stressed and angry at my own yami for everything that he had done to me. I had really been expecting to see Bakura actually show his feelings towards me more at the end. . .
I noticed that the area that surrounded me while I continued to run looked like a place where I'v never been to before. It looked alittle scary and dark, not to mention that the sunset was already setting in place up in the cloudy sky. . .
I finally stopped running to catch my own heavy rapid breaths. Also probably from all the unstoppable cryings that I choked on. I just couldn't control my own tears and bawling; they persistantly kept on streaming down my swelled face. It just hurt so much inside. My own heart felt like it just broke into a million pieces and I couldn't manage to breath that well either. I clutched onto my own chest tightly with both of my hands, my clenched fists causing the center of my shirt to wrinkle while I slowly fell to my own knees. I soon wrapped my own shivering arms around my shoulders.
My sobbings suddenly soon stopped. . as I just continued to gaze down at the ground beneath down intently while I had the sudden change of expression that couldn't be clearly identified that was placed upon my face. .
Judging by the look I had on my face now, I was thinking about...just everything. All the pain and sorrow I suffered through. Even in the past..it seemed like it all came back to me again. My thoughts now focused on how I was usually never satisfied with my own happiness in my current life. I'v always felt really lonely. I had couple of friends, but I already knew that my problems didn't really concern them even if I tried talking to them about it..
That's why I always kept my millennium ring with me at all times, because I knew that Bakura was the only person that I was actually closer to than anyone else, he was the only one that I had left. Demo, I also knew that he didn't love me back for the way I did for him. . . to tell you the whole truth, I'v just always wanted a comforting and loving person who loved and cared for me; just like a bigger brother or some other things related to that topic. I was really the only child back then when my mother was still alive. . I did had a older sister but she also died so I didn't really have a sibling that could stay around me anymore. And my father was always gone. . just leaving me to always stay home by myself and not even caring less if something bad possibly happened to me by the time.
I slowly took out a small knife from the back of my pocket. It was my yami's; the one that he always used for his own self-mutilation and torturing at times. He must of forgotten all about it if it was still here with me right now. I slowly lifted the object, pointing the sharp razor point directly close towards my own chest. . .if I died . . . I wouldn't have to suffer about all of this anymore. It would be better if I didn't even exist at all actually...right? It just would be even better for me If I was already in heaven; not having to worry and fear the terrible things that are happening to me while I was still alive back on earth. I didn't really care anymore. . . .
One last final tear trailed down my face as I quietly whispered a soft small sentence allowing it to escape from my lips ..
"Bakura. . . gomen na sai. ." It wasn't too long until I slowly closed my eyes. . finally jabbing the sharp object against my own bare chest, forcefully and deeply to make it go through until it was literally all the way inside. I screamed loudly at the unimaginable and horrible pain that I wasn't even aware of. What have I done to myself...? I wasn't ready to die. Truthfully. Frantically, I kept on persistantly tried everything to stop the bleeding with my bloody hands over my chest, but it was no use. . it just wouldn't stop. It just hurted so much.
My breathing was becoming more heavier by the minute and I felt so weak fighting against it. I now laid motionless on the ground, instinctively rolled up like into a small ball with the imperceptible shivering I was also going through at the same time. I was getting more colder and my own arms weren't good enough to give me more warmth.
I didn't want anyone to know about what just happened to me.. I wanted to be the only person that knew..I didn't want Bakura seeing me like this, because I didn't want him to feel unhappy and sorry for me being such a weak person. . . .
"Bakura . . I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."
--
Bakura
I was boringly flipping through the channels of what Ryou told me what it was called.. oh yeah . . . the ' T.V ' along with my own expression of dullness that was casted upon my seemingly unassuming dead face while I repeatedly pressed the random buttons on this remote device that your supposed to use it for. .
I already knew how to use it afterwards watching my hikari do it a couple of times before. I wasn't still used to these newly modern electronics that they had presently in time. I was exhuastedly laying on the sofa on top of my own stomach, my left arm hanging down loosely from the edge of the couch while lazily using the other hand for the remote as my head rested peacefully on the soft cussion pillow. Finally after realizing that there wasn't a really good purpose for watching this piece of shit.. I turned it off, just when my concerned thoughts gradually focused and drifted off to something other else. Not satisfied with my own current uncomfortable position, I kept shifting around until I was actually laying on my own back now. Both of my arms folded restingly under my head while I laid cross-legged wondering worridly as I stared up at the ceiling above me.
It had already been an hour since I got back home from where I left him, and still sign of my hikari in sight at all. He should of been back home by now, despite he was obviously still furious with me.
I lazily turned my head to the side and glanced back at the clock. It read 8:00 p.m. Great. Just great. . It was already getting late but it only seemed like 5:00 to me though. I began fiddling around with me thumbs impatiently while humming a small tune that I had heard and memorized before on this thing called the radio. The truth was that I was bored as hell. I have to admit that it wasn't the same without my hikari around the house. I felt somewhat really empty without him somehow. . . I didn't know why though. Was it because I missed him?
I took my own Occult deck out from the pocket of my jeans. I began shuffling through them with my hands . . until I finally reached . . 'The change of heart' card. What the hell? How did it even get here in my supernatural card deck?? It didn't really belong with the other cards that I had in here. I must of replaced it by accident. How stupid of me. I was about to shrug and put it away until I suddenly stopped what I was doing. I remembered how it was both me and Ryou's favorite one before out of all the other ones. But I didn't really care about it anymore, it didn't really mean anything to me. I quickly threw it away across the table sitting beside me while I lightly scoffed.
Placing my own hand on the millennium ring, I began lightly tracing against the unusual features of the circle-shaped object with my fingers idly. . I looked outside the window infront of me with my half-closed eyes. I noticed that the clouds were darker than before; it was almost pitch black and I knew it was going to pour down soon. Ryou was still probably outside and he would definitely get sick again if he got caught into it. He had already been through alot from his previous illness and I didn't really want him to get more sick than he already presently was. . .
Along with my own eerie sensation, I really hoped nothing bad happened to him at the fact that it was taking him longer than I thought . . I kinda feel bad for how I treated him back there . . I didn't really mean to hurt his feelings that bad and I actually wanted to apologize afterwards. With a quiet sigh and finally making up my own stubborn mind, I decided to just go out and look for him myself.
I lazily stood up from the couch that I was currently laying on and started walking towards the door and opened it as I walked outside. How am I supposed to know where the exact place he's at right now? I don't even know why I'm even bothering to do this in the first place anyways, but I just couldn't leave him out there. Noticing that I felt a small drop of water that just dropped down on top of my nose from above, it began to slightly sprinkle abit. Damn it! Now I'm going to get all wet! You just have to put me through all this trouble for me to just find your ass don't you?? I frowned deeply as I murmured some curses and random sentences that purposely escaped from my lips under my breath.
One thing that I knew for sure was that my hikari wasn't back at the hospital. .
I began to trace back all of my every steps that I'v taken. Demo, still no sign of him anywhere..this was really beginning to make me frustrated.
"Ryou, Where are you..?" . . . // // //
--
--
"Ryou, are you sure your feeling better already?" Yugi asked suspiciously, still curiously worried about the recovered teen.
"Yeah. I'm feeling just fine." Ryou responded back happily just like a normal person would as he just finished changing back into his old normal clothes; he folded his hospital uniform neatly as the boy placed them in top of the bed. . . seeming like he was now suddenly perfectly in better condition after all the situation before.
It had been already a couple of days after. Ryou was supposed to get released today. . the teenager was extremely estatic about finally going back home after everything that happened. Yugi was with him because he also knew about it too.
"..Ok then." The shorter boy smiled an unsure expression. . .
Finally after finishing getting ready, both of the teenagers walked out the room, as they together walked quietly through the empty endless-seeming narrow hallway.
"Ryou, I'm glad that your back to normal again." The tri-colored hair one smiled again, happily grabbing onto his good friend's arm while playfully holding it as they continued to slowly walk together.
"Me too Yugi." Ryou agreed softly while chuckling sheepishly.
"I was really concerned about you, don't scare me like that again. . I really thought something bad happened to you. ." Yugi spoke in a more serious lower tone of the change in his sudden voice while he kept his head low, staring at the ground beneath him sadly.
"Gomen. ." Came a soft and quiet apology of guilt from the other's mouth. "But, it seems like . . I still have a slight headache again that's making me a bit dizzy Yugi.." The boy sighed, running his fingers up his white locks as he felt like he was about to collapse again from the pain.
Immediately noticing the sudden impulse, the smaller boy quickly supported his friend, catching the other in his arms just in time as Ryou literally dazed and slightly lost his own balance.
"Ryou! Are you alright?" Yugi gasped helping the other to walk properly. .
"yugi..I'-I'm fine.." The boy stopped at his own tracks, suddenlyscanning the small area to search for a small chair nearby. Yugi carefully sat Ryou down on the thick wooden bench along with himself, the boy's violet eyes filled desperately with extreme concern and confusions as he stared intently at the youth's miserable face.
"Ryou..I don't think you should be out yet, you need more rest here.." A sadden frown slowly spread its way across Yugi's lips knowing at the thought that his friend wasn't in any better condition after all the whole previous excitement.
"Ryou..do you want me to take you home instead?" Yugi offeredto his own defeat, realizing at the fact that the boy wouldn't probably listen to him no matter what even after he had adviced the innocent teen to do what's best for his own health.
"N-No..it's ok." Ryou refused nicely.
"Are you sure??"
"..Yeah." Ryou slowly nodded his head weakly.
--
Bakura slowly strode his way alone through the quiet deserted non-obstreperous park; his long white locks hanging freely and loosely from his face usually covering up most of his common features, seemingly looking like the tomb robber was assiduously still pondering distressfully about his own hikari hesitantly wondering whether if the white haired devil should visit the boy at the hospital or not. . already knowing the fact that he hadn't seen Ryou in several days after that whole incident with him staying with the boy on that same day when Yugi and his yami also visited by. He knew he at LEAST needed to check and see if the teen was doing fine in his condition, afterwards how he saw what happened to him on that other day..he never even found out if the boy ever woke up later after the unexpected collapse. . .
// . . Hikari is probably still in that bed sleeping liek always.." Bakura scoffed pessimistically at the thought while lightly kicking a random pebble across the sidewalk idly with his foot.
The millenium ring around his neck glinted faintly from the dimmer shining light of the sun above, mostly covered by the dark cloudy sky that just seemingly appeared above not too long ago as he continued to lazily strode along the path. .
"Kuso..it looks like rain." Bakura mumbled disappointingly under his breath. Since already realizing that the tomb robber couldn't possibly return back home afterwards coming all the way roughly to where he presently was, he cursed something under his breath for the last time before finally deciding to just make his way to the hospital instead for shelter before rain would soon pour down.
--
It wasn't long until Bakura had finally reached the huge tall building. He took a deep breath before he led himself through the entrance door infront of him. .
Once coming here before, Bakua just started heading towards his hikari's room easily remembering the boy's room number. As he reached outside of the door, he turned the door knob opening it without any hesitation, easily expecting for him to find the youth to still be in bed sleeping peacefully.
His expression changed immediately, after finding that his light was nowhere to be found in sight anywhere in the room area. . .
// Where the hell- // Bakura trailed off. . he curiously scanned the room until he finally noticed the boy's hospital uniform that was on top of the bed. The ex tomb robber slowly approached it and picked up the clothing.
// Hikari...? // He suddenly dropped it to the ground beneath him as it landed infront of his foot. .
Not even knowing what had happened to the teenager, Bakura quickly ran out the room to search him as several suspicious and frantic thoughts took over his mind. .
Bakura began searching possibly everywhere as the white haired yami persistantly ran through the main hallways and up the stairs; he cursed something under his breath as the spirit of the ring couldn't find any trace of the boy anywhere.
Just as the theif grew angry and finally decided that he would go back again to possibly find the boy back at home after a whole 10 minutes, something finally caught the pale boy's attention. He slowly turned his head raising an eyebrow and unexpectedly noticed that Ryou was with the tri-colored teenager chattering to one another about some sentences that Bakura couldn't hear and understand that well since he was abit far off distance away from the two boys. . afraid that his own hikari would find and notice his presence around, Bakura quickly hid himself behind the hard cool wall; the one that was closer to both of them nearby. He slightly poked his head out for better hearing. .
"Yugi, where's your yami?" Ryou asked curiously.
"Oh. He's staying over at the game shop with my grandpa to help him do some random stuff around the house.." Yugi responded back to the other's question. "Why..?"
"Oh..it's nothing Yugi.. it's just that I'm always expected to see him with you all the time so I didn't know.." Ryou trailed off while staring at the ground beneath him.
"Oh I see. Speaking of Yami . . where do you think Bakura is at right now??"
Bakura slightly twitched after hearing what the suspicious shorter teenager just asked to his hikari.
"I-I don't know. . I still haven't seen him lately." Ryou spoke sadly.
"Does he even know that your going back home today??" Yugi asked while raising one of his eyebrow.
"I don't think so.." The boy frowned deeply while he sighed deeply. "He probably wouldn't even care anyways if I did or not so why worry Yugi?"
"What do you mean Ryou..?" Yugi asked with curious tone alone with his confused mind.
"..No,i-it's nothing Yugi..really." Ryou lightly shook his head.
"Tell me Ryou." Yugi gestured softly.
With one final sigh the other spoke spoke quietly..
"Haven't you noticed that he hasn't been here for the past couple of days to check and see if i was doing alright after that day he left me alone..?"
The tri-colored hair one nodded slowly in agreement.
"He didn't even tell me where he went of to, except he said that was going to ho back home, but I knew that I didn't really believe him... I mean what am I talking about..? Of coarse he's supposed to be like that, how stupid of me to ever think like that..." The youth whispered as he had several tears beginning to form in his eyes.
Yugi just arched his neck to the side, to get a better view of the boy's face.
"Everyone knows that he's stubborn, rude, and evil and he cares for noone but himself..." Ryou sniffled softly.
Surprised at hearing his hikari's unexpected and unusual remark about himself, Bakura angrily clenched his fists while he gritted his teeth together. // That little- how dare he talk shit like that about me. //
"I just only wish that he could think about me for once.." Ryou began sobbing quietly as he buried his own face in his hands.
Feeling awful for the boy , Yugi just gave his distressed friend a very depressed expression while he gently lifted the boy into his own arms embracing him. .
Ryou only cried silently into the smaller one's shoulder.
"Shh..Ryou. It's going to be ok, I know it will be." Yugi whispered softly as he gently patted the white haired teen's back soothingly.
"I HATE HIM!" Ryou suddenly shouted indignantly, deeply frustrated from everything that was happening with him along from the unusual illness he presently had . . . seemingly like the child couldn't possibly get rid of it no matter how much he tried his best.
Ryou had no idea that Bakura was actually listening to every one of their conversations. What made his yami more pissed was that they were talking about 'him'. Not even caring about them accidently noticing him anymore, the now angry tomb robber menacingly paced up to the both sitting youths. .
Yugi tilted his head from his previous attention with the crying boy, curiously staring at the person that he didn't even expect to see; his eyes soon grew wide at the sight..
Ryou's sobbings immediately stopped as soon as he saw his own yami's unexpected presence infront of him.
"Y-Yami..?? What-" Ryou gasped.
"Hikari..we need to have alittle talk..NOW." Bakura interrupted in a calmer tone in his serious voice as he grabbed his lighter half's wrist tightly, giving it a slight jerk to emphasize his point.
Ryou let out a small yelp as he got the second harder tug off from the chair he was sitting on. "P-Please Bakura, your hurting me." Ryou pleaded while trying to shake off the other's firm grip.
Ignoring his hikari's annoyance, Bakura continued to harshly lead the boisterous boy throught the hallways .., leaving the confused Yugi standing behind.
--
Ryou tried everything to possibly talk with the theif, but this only made Bakura more frustrated.
"Bakura, can we please talk instead??" Ryou begged more firmly this time while stumbling, still being literally dragged outside by his own darkness. Finally after all the extreme struggling, the two halves finally reached the outside of the tall building.
"Bakura, stop this! Let go!! Where are you taking me?!" Ryou shouted furiously to get his other half's attention towards himself.
Bakura finally released his own grip off the boy's now sore hand, grabbing him by the shoulders. "Uresei!! How could you talk crap about me like that to that little runt?! Huh?!?" Bakura glared intently into the other's surprised eyes.
"Bakura when did you..-?" Ryou trailed off slightly, changing the subject.
"Answer me!!" Bakura interrupted.
"Why are you getting mad at me for?!' Ryou yelled back at the top of his lungs. "And besides..why would you care?"
Actually amazed by his hikari's unusual back-talk and attitude for the first time, Bakura only stood speechless at the scene.
"The only reason why I said all those stuff about you to him was because it was all the truth and you know already know about it too! And you made me leave Yugi back there even before I got the change to tell him I had to go!" Ryou furiously told the ancient spirit.
"Watashi..watashi wanted to-" Bakura spoke in a softer tone to his own defeat, afterwards hearing his own hikari's correct statement about himself and realizing that he couldn't deny and resist the fact. .
"And don't make excuses Bakura, because you know that I'm right." Ryou was now the one to interrupt his darkness's studdering. " You didn't even bother to visit me, you didn't care!" Ryou continued.
"I was thinking about stopping by today to see you but you weren't even there okay?! Why won't you believe me??" Bakura cried.
"Whatever..I thought that you've finally changed your ways, demo now I know that I was stupid to ever think that.." Ryou whispered while he kept his head low, a small trail of tear slowly rolled down his covered face.
"..Hikari..I'm-" Bakura was about to finish his sentence but stopped at the sudden thought of remembering his own promise to himself.
// Ok I can't start to lose myself to him now..I can actually feel myself growing more softer again. I can't allow anyone else to know about all this..And I can't let them see it, not even my own hikari either. . .I'm sorry Ryou. // His fists were trembling in place.
"Well Hikari..that's just too bad if you got all your hopes up so soon..you know I would NEVER change." Bakura responded in a fake disappointment tone along with the sudden change of his attitude towards his light, revealing that once evil self of himself again in appearance; he gave Ryou a sadistic smirk.
"I hate you..." Ryou spoke indignantly while looking at his yami straight dead in the eyes, not recognizing and unaware about his own attitude.
"You know Ryou..that's just perfectly fine. I don't really give a crap even if you did or not because i also hate you as much as you do." Bakura forced a small smirk to appear on his unsure face while he crossed his own arms over his bare chest confidently.
" Oh is that so? " The boy scoffed softly.
" Yes, it is! "
" Why do you have to be so rude?? "
" Because you annoy the hell out of me! "
"But why?!" Ryou repeated with more curiosity.
"I just told you Hikari. . . " Bakura annoying rolled his eyes.
"That wasn't a really good excuse for why your always cold-hearted. Don't blame me for how the way you act towards everyone." Ryou also crossed his arms.
"Then don't ask me these stupid senseless questions!"
Bakura silently congradulated himself for his own successful plan; he smirked confidently at the thought of it, but it seemed that he was also having a difficult time struggling between the different opposings of his own reactions.
"Bakura, your the one who asked me in the first place." Ryou accused quickly.
". . And your point?"
". . . Bakura, What's wrong with you ??" Ryou asked in a more quiet voice.
"Nevermind." Bakura sighed while turning his back on the boy. "Hikari, shut up. . . just shut up okay. .?"
"Yami, just tell me what's wrong with you." The slightly shorter child gestured softly while gently grasping onto his darker half's hand.
"I SAID SHUT UP!" Bakura roared furiously, angrily but accidently punching his own shocked hikari quickly in the face. This made Ryou fall to the ground as he instantly held his own bruised face in his hands.
After just realizing his own unexpected actions, the tomb robber suddenly felt crestfallen after what he had done for the first time while he continued to stare surprisingly at the boy beneath him.
Unaware of what just happened to him, Ryou sobbed silently while he tried getting back up onto his feet from the ground.
Bakura's focused eyes carefully studied and followed the other's each and every slow movements; he really wanted to apologize to the teen..but it looked like something else irritably kept him from doing it. . .
Without even saying anything, Ryou finally stood up as he quickly turned his back from his yami. He began running towards the alley infront of him. .
"Ryou, wai-! Don't!" Bakura only watched the boy slowly dissappearing at further distance as he continued to run off with great speed.
// Damn. // Bakura cursed lowly at himself.
// Oh well. . I'll bet he'll return back home later anyways. // With one final soft sigh, Bakura turned on his heels, beginning to slowly strode his way back home as he kept his own hands in the pockets of his jeans. .
--
Ryou
I just wanted to get away from him as far as I possibly could..I didn't feel like seeing, talking, or listening to him right now at all. . . I kept on running and running to where I even didn't care of know where I was confusingly leading my ownself to. . Tears were also welling up in my eyes as it instantly blured my own vision, making the objects and surroundings infront of my eyes to be seen unclearly. I couldn't even keep the equanimity of my own mind right now. I was too stressed and angry at my own yami for everything that he had done to me. I had really been expecting to see Bakura actually show his feelings towards me more at the end. . .
I noticed that the area that surrounded me while I continued to run looked like a place where I'v never been to before. It looked alittle scary and dark, not to mention that the sunset was already setting in place up in the cloudy sky. . .
I finally stopped running to catch my own heavy rapid breaths. Also probably from all the unstoppable cryings that I choked on. I just couldn't control my own tears and bawling; they persistantly kept on streaming down my swelled face. It just hurt so much inside. My own heart felt like it just broke into a million pieces and I couldn't manage to breath that well either. I clutched onto my own chest tightly with both of my hands, my clenched fists causing the center of my shirt to wrinkle while I slowly fell to my own knees. I soon wrapped my own shivering arms around my shoulders.
My sobbings suddenly soon stopped. . as I just continued to gaze down at the ground beneath down intently while I had the sudden change of expression that couldn't be clearly identified that was placed upon my face. .
Judging by the look I had on my face now, I was thinking about...just everything. All the pain and sorrow I suffered through. Even in the past..it seemed like it all came back to me again. My thoughts now focused on how I was usually never satisfied with my own happiness in my current life. I'v always felt really lonely. I had couple of friends, but I already knew that my problems didn't really concern them even if I tried talking to them about it..
That's why I always kept my millennium ring with me at all times, because I knew that Bakura was the only person that I was actually closer to than anyone else, he was the only one that I had left. Demo, I also knew that he didn't love me back for the way I did for him. . . to tell you the whole truth, I'v just always wanted a comforting and loving person who loved and cared for me; just like a bigger brother or some other things related to that topic. I was really the only child back then when my mother was still alive. . I did had a older sister but she also died so I didn't really have a sibling that could stay around me anymore. And my father was always gone. . just leaving me to always stay home by myself and not even caring less if something bad possibly happened to me by the time.
I slowly took out a small knife from the back of my pocket. It was my yami's; the one that he always used for his own self-mutilation and torturing at times. He must of forgotten all about it if it was still here with me right now. I slowly lifted the object, pointing the sharp razor point directly close towards my own chest. . .if I died . . . I wouldn't have to suffer about all of this anymore. It would be better if I didn't even exist at all actually...right? It just would be even better for me If I was already in heaven; not having to worry and fear the terrible things that are happening to me while I was still alive back on earth. I didn't really care anymore. . . .
One last final tear trailed down my face as I quietly whispered a soft small sentence allowing it to escape from my lips ..
"Bakura. . . gomen na sai. ." It wasn't too long until I slowly closed my eyes. . finally jabbing the sharp object against my own bare chest, forcefully and deeply to make it go through until it was literally all the way inside. I screamed loudly at the unimaginable and horrible pain that I wasn't even aware of. What have I done to myself...? I wasn't ready to die. Truthfully. Frantically, I kept on persistantly tried everything to stop the bleeding with my bloody hands over my chest, but it was no use. . it just wouldn't stop. It just hurted so much.
My breathing was becoming more heavier by the minute and I felt so weak fighting against it. I now laid motionless on the ground, instinctively rolled up like into a small ball with the imperceptible shivering I was also going through at the same time. I was getting more colder and my own arms weren't good enough to give me more warmth.
I didn't want anyone to know about what just happened to me.. I wanted to be the only person that knew..I didn't want Bakura seeing me like this, because I didn't want him to feel unhappy and sorry for me being such a weak person. . . .
"Bakura . . I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."
--
Bakura
I was boringly flipping through the channels of what Ryou told me what it was called.. oh yeah . . . the ' T.V ' along with my own expression of dullness that was casted upon my seemingly unassuming dead face while I repeatedly pressed the random buttons on this remote device that your supposed to use it for. .
I already knew how to use it afterwards watching my hikari do it a couple of times before. I wasn't still used to these newly modern electronics that they had presently in time. I was exhuastedly laying on the sofa on top of my own stomach, my left arm hanging down loosely from the edge of the couch while lazily using the other hand for the remote as my head rested peacefully on the soft cussion pillow. Finally after realizing that there wasn't a really good purpose for watching this piece of shit.. I turned it off, just when my concerned thoughts gradually focused and drifted off to something other else. Not satisfied with my own current uncomfortable position, I kept shifting around until I was actually laying on my own back now. Both of my arms folded restingly under my head while I laid cross-legged wondering worridly as I stared up at the ceiling above me.
It had already been an hour since I got back home from where I left him, and still sign of my hikari in sight at all. He should of been back home by now, despite he was obviously still furious with me.
I lazily turned my head to the side and glanced back at the clock. It read 8:00 p.m. Great. Just great. . It was already getting late but it only seemed like 5:00 to me though. I began fiddling around with me thumbs impatiently while humming a small tune that I had heard and memorized before on this thing called the radio. The truth was that I was bored as hell. I have to admit that it wasn't the same without my hikari around the house. I felt somewhat really empty without him somehow. . . I didn't know why though. Was it because I missed him?
I took my own Occult deck out from the pocket of my jeans. I began shuffling through them with my hands . . until I finally reached . . 'The change of heart' card. What the hell? How did it even get here in my supernatural card deck?? It didn't really belong with the other cards that I had in here. I must of replaced it by accident. How stupid of me. I was about to shrug and put it away until I suddenly stopped what I was doing. I remembered how it was both me and Ryou's favorite one before out of all the other ones. But I didn't really care about it anymore, it didn't really mean anything to me. I quickly threw it away across the table sitting beside me while I lightly scoffed.
Placing my own hand on the millennium ring, I began lightly tracing against the unusual features of the circle-shaped object with my fingers idly. . I looked outside the window infront of me with my half-closed eyes. I noticed that the clouds were darker than before; it was almost pitch black and I knew it was going to pour down soon. Ryou was still probably outside and he would definitely get sick again if he got caught into it. He had already been through alot from his previous illness and I didn't really want him to get more sick than he already presently was. . .
Along with my own eerie sensation, I really hoped nothing bad happened to him at the fact that it was taking him longer than I thought . . I kinda feel bad for how I treated him back there . . I didn't really mean to hurt his feelings that bad and I actually wanted to apologize afterwards. With a quiet sigh and finally making up my own stubborn mind, I decided to just go out and look for him myself.
I lazily stood up from the couch that I was currently laying on and started walking towards the door and opened it as I walked outside. How am I supposed to know where the exact place he's at right now? I don't even know why I'm even bothering to do this in the first place anyways, but I just couldn't leave him out there. Noticing that I felt a small drop of water that just dropped down on top of my nose from above, it began to slightly sprinkle abit. Damn it! Now I'm going to get all wet! You just have to put me through all this trouble for me to just find your ass don't you?? I frowned deeply as I murmured some curses and random sentences that purposely escaped from my lips under my breath.
One thing that I knew for sure was that my hikari wasn't back at the hospital. .
I began to trace back all of my every steps that I'v taken. Demo, still no sign of him anywhere..this was really beginning to make me frustrated.
"Ryou, Where are you..?" . . . // // //
--