Chapter 16: Sudden changes

It took awhile for that to sink in, "a baby, I'm having a baby are you sure?"

Luka looked at me as if I was almost nuts for saying that one. "Yes Erica I am sure."

"Positive you don't have someone else's lab work by mistake?" I glance over at David who has a smile on his face.

"Erica this is good news."

"Says who?" I find myself snipping back at him now. When I realize what I had just said I look down, "sorry David, I just wasn't expecting this, least of all right now."

"Are you disappointed Erica?" I'm not sure if that was David or Luka talking to me but they deserved an answer.

I sigh now, "No I'm not disappointed not at all," I find myself saying, "it just caught me off guard that's all, I'm happy about the news really I am."

"May I have a minute with my wife?" I hear David say in his that's not a request voice.

"Yes, I'll go start her discharge papers now." I hear him get up and head for the door. I don't look up almost afraid to now. "I'll be back in a few minutes, again congratulations."

"Thank you." I say softly as I hear the door go shut behind him.

"Is this not what you want?" I hear David ask in an extremely serious tone.

"I never said that David."

"You don't have to Erica your tone the way you look that says it all for you."

It's almost as if he's upset with me for not jumping up and down with joy at the announcement. I think long and hard now about what I am going to say to him, I don't want a fight, I don't have the energy for that right now.

"David I'm sorry if I haven't reacted the way that you think I should be reacting. Do you think that a baby is going to make everything instantly better between us? That this solves all our problems."

"No I don't." He said softly now, "but it's a child, it's our child." I felt his hand now rest of my stomach. "You have a life that we created inside you. A little life that's molded from our love for each other, there's nothing more that I could ask for on this earth than for the chance to be someone's father."

I am on the verge of crying now that was so sickening sweet. "David you haven't figured out how to be someone's husband, how do you expect me to believe that you are going to be this child's father?" I thought that it was a very valid point.

David looked at me and for once I saw hurt in his eyes. "That's not fair Erica. Are you going to raise this baby alone and not give me the chance to love him or her?"

"I didn't say that now did I?" I was not going to defend myself right now, not to him.

"You didn't have to." He turns his back to me now.

"You are reading too much into what I just said David, jumping to your own conclusions, and putting words into my mouth." I sit up in the bed now reaching for something to pull over my pajamas.

"You are no better than Dana." I hear him say.

"That's not fair and it's not true and you know that!"

"Why," his back is still to me, right now I am wishing that I could read his mind and figure out where he was getting this hair brained idea from.

"Why, you know me better than that David." I am fighting now not to yell as tears start to fall down my cheeks, "or I thought that you know me better than that. I'm just in shock over all this; I wasn't expecting it right now. I'm not saying I am not happy or that I don't want a baby."

"I'm sorry Erica." I hear him say softly now as he wraps his arms around me.

"Don't please." I say pushing him away from me some.

We have wounded each other yet again, whether we meant to or not. One day we could be the best of friends and the next at each other's throats. Peace never seemed to last long between us. And here and now, it was being shattered again. I should have seen it coming after all this time of goodwill but I didn't and now I was going to have to pick up the pieces again. But this time there was more it was no longer just me and David there was going to be a third person involved in our mess.

"You need to think long and hard about what you want from me." I hear him say.

"Wait just a bloody god damn minute." I say. "Where do you get off telling me to think about what I want from you?" I stare him straight in the eyes now, I'm done messing around with him and I am not playing games anymore. "You need to look in the mirror David, honestly look in the mirror and when you have your perfect little life all straightened out and you don't make any mistakes then you can push the blame for this onto me. I was willing to forgive you for what you had done and now you are having a conniption fit because I am not joyous about having a child."

"Oh I forgot St. Erica doesn't make mistakes."

"You son-of-a-bitch," I say as I reach up slapping him as hard as I can across the face, hormones are now racing out of control and I can't stop this, I couldn't stop if even if I had wanted to. "Get out of my sight now David and stay out of it. Go back to daddy dearest and tell him that I am being a bitch maybe he can instruct you or come up with a plan to fix this mistake, but you had better stay the hell away from me right now. I'm done with it David."

I find myself now with my head over an emesis basin as I am throwing up again. My stomach heaves as my head pounds. I glance up and he is still standing there as if what I had said was immediately nullified by my body's sudden decision to throw up.

"Erica are you all right?" His voice was softer than it had been. Yet I couldn't bring myself to care right now.

"Get out of here!" I would have screamed if I could but my body had other ideas of what it wanted to do right now.

I watch over the edge of the basin as he lowered his head and silently walked out of the room. I am relieved to see him leave but not before another wave of this nauseated nausea washes over me. Thank god, it only lasts for about three months.