Chapter VI

---Regret---

"In the black and white, wounds all bound,

Sitting at the table, biting nails all short,

The consequence of adultery,

As he rips you from your skin.

We're all paying for this and in our prayer,

You believe.

You believe, you believe (Just for the first time)

You believe, you believe (Just like the last time)

You believe, you believe

(A seam away from breaking)

You believe, you believe (Always, forever)."

Funeral for a Friend – Moments forever faded.

Everyone else spent the following day sleeping or dawdling around the manor house, except Tyson, who spent the day annoying the chef who Alexander deeply feared for his love of buying food alive. The chef was becoming exceptionally scared that the food he had brought to last the year, was barely going to last the day with the amount of food Tyson was subjecting to his stomach.

The funny thing was, that it was painfully obvious to everyone but herself that she could maybe, be the best thing that happened to Kai since Rayne. Alexander shook herself of belief of that thought. They're where reasons why she and Kai weren't together and he had proven those reasons at the hospital.

Beyond what everyone believed, Alex found that maybe she and Kai where just two broken souls, trying to find salvation in each other and finding only anger, frustration and bitterness. They where both too stubborn to admit they loved each other, but they where willing to show it in the privacy of only themselves. But then she found herself thinking that maybe Kai didn't admit the love he held for her, to protect himself from Voltaire, he had always been self-centered and she doubted anybody could change that.

And so, due to marry an alcoholic billionaire, hell bent on destroying her existence to which he was succeeding, Alexander found herself paving a way for her own self inflicted destruction. Since her return from the hospital she had locked herself away from the others, refusing to make any kind of contact. She found herself shouting out at the others in frustration whenever they offered her news about Kai's condition, and whenever they asked her to eat. She threw anything in site at the door, which always happened to be herself.

In her stubborn nature, she found herself refusing to sleep, out of the fear that attached itself to her brain. She knew that they would try and put food in her room to tempt her to make an appearance, but she also lived in fear of what could be really happening to Kai. He could be dying whilst she found herself some days rather wishing that he were dead. She wasn't forcing herself to be around the others, and she wasn't about to try.

4 days had passed and now the others where beginning to wallow in their self-pity because they where letting her kill herself emotionally. It took time for James and Arkenzere, whom Xander had 'pleasantly' placed in Hilary's hands to convince the small, slender brunette that she was like this generally and not to worry about her, Hilary retorted repeatedly about how dangerous it was for her to be self-absorbed when she was pregnant and that she was killing the baby. James didn't doubt that it could have been Alexander's motive because of something Kai could have said, but then dismissed the fact because he knew his goddaughter would not be so stupid.

In between the commotion happening in the usually calm Caraway manor home, Mr. Dickenson appeared, giving updates on Kai's condition, of which he had currently moved to a day ward and would be fit enough to release any day now. He found it unusual for Alex to lock herself away, but as James and her bit-beast pleaded, he recommended that she was to be left alone and she would come to her senses.

A week had passed since the whole ordeal and Xander found herself traipsing down the stairs towards the kitchen, realizing that she was going to kill the form of life that was bundled silently in a soft waterbed and dawdled along the path of evolution. It was a struggle, to which Xander found it hard, but she knew it was something that had to be done, like her will. Which she had now gave herself a mental note about.

Re-appearing out of the kitchen a few moments later, she found Ray sitting a few steps up the grand staircase, apparently waiting for her. "I thought you had committed suicide or something," He sighed, "Trust me, don't think it didn't slip my mind," She spat as she closed the door behind her. "How can you be so self centered?" He asked, "Ask your captain the same question, maybe you'll get some answers from him that I can't answer myself." She rubbed her temples out of frustration as Ray made his way towards her, his cat like eyes held pupils that where now barely slits, "I don't know what was said between you and Kai, but you don't have to take your frustration out on us, or the baby,"

"The baby is non of your concern," She hissed. "What are you going to do if you miscarry? Kai will blame himself, he can't be put through anymore grief it will destroy him." She folded her arms and glared at him, "It appears to me that he brings the grief upon himself, and anyway, I don't think Kai would care to be honest." Ray looked at her in disgust, "How could you think he doesn't care? He almost died in Boris's hands, for you! Doesn't that mean anything?" She tried to push past him, "I should have ran when I had the chance, instead of trying to be a hero," Ray gripped her arm tightly, making her squirm with discomfort, "Kai loves you, and he won't admit it." She tugged his arm away and collected herself, "If he loves me so much, why is he involving himself in the wedding? He's the best man... by choice not force," Ray stuttered, "Oh... I'm sorry... I didn't know..." She aggressively replied, "Neither did I, until Kai forced it upon himself to tell me yesterday." She began to make her way up the stairs, "Wait a moment!" Shouted Ray after her, to whom she turned from the 10th stair, "Did Kai say anything else?" She looked down at him, not that she had much choice, "Unfortunately, he was wasting time flapping his lips rather then dying," She paused, "Shame really..."

"You don't mean that and I know you don't," Replied Ray. Alex descended the stairs again, her face had now become barely a foot away from Ray's as she stood on the bottom stair, becoming the same height as the taller white tiger, "I mean every last word..." Ray whispered, "No, you don't. Your just angry it's understandable." Alex's voice was saturated with sarcasm, "It's understandable... yes, and you understand that I am irritated and pissed off and the second Kai walks thought that door, I'll fall into his arms and we'll pretend it was a late April fools, I don't think so," Ray lowered his gaze, "We're only trying to help." She sighed, "I don't need help. I need a knife, understood?"

"Your just being pathetic, stop it!" He shouted, "I'm being pathetic? I'm not the one who follows his best buddy on all 4's thinking that he's the bee's knees. I think you need a wake up call." She retorted. "I'm not the one trying to kill myself when I'm pregnant am I? Now you're just being selfish." She laughed, "It's the way I've been brought up, get used to it." Ray furrowed his eyebrows, "I always thought you where somebody different, obviously I was wrong about that," She turned her back on him, "People just think I'm a good Beyblader with a pretty face who gets herself into a lot of trouble, the water is always deeper then it appears,"

The giant entry doors opened and Mr. Dickenson appeared with Kai and his driver carrying a large sports bag in tow. "Everybody, Kai's home," Mr. Dickenson cheered, beaming with happiness until he saw Ray and Alexander, who looked extremely heated. "My Goodness, What's happening here?" He gasped as he dropped his walking stick. Alexander shot a death glare at Kai before she ran up the stairs and slammed her door behind her. "Oh my, that isn't too good," He sighed, adjusting his glasses, "That isn't good at all." Kai glared at Ray, who retired to the parlor room, "It can be sorted, Alex is just having a bad time that's all," The old man nodded, "Yes, yes. I suppose so. I'll go talk to James I think you should talk to Ray, maybe you can see what's up?" Kai looked over in the direction of where Ray headed, "Okay Sir,"

When Kai had entered the room, Ray had sunk into Xander's favorite armchair, leaning his head back sighing deeply. "Ray, what happened?" He asked as he closed the door behind him, "Oh, nothing," He hastily replied, "Alex just got upset that's all," Kai sat down in the leather sofa opposite him, "I heard," Ray looked up at his captain, "Kai, why are you doing this to her?" He asked out of his respect for Kai, whom had sighed deeply throwing his head back, "I didn't intend for this to happen, so don't look at me like that." Ray ran his fingers though his long ebony bangs, "She's been on a hell bent destruction path since we got back from the hospital, she just locked herself in her room, didn't say a word to us until 10 minutes ago." Kai sighed, "I knew what I said would upset her," Ray looked at him with his piercing amber eyes, "What did you say to her that would make her feel so bad that she would want to kill her baby?" Kai gave a shocked expression that he couldn't help, "I didn't know she would do something that stupid."

"Neither did I, why did you bail out Voltaire?" He asked curiously, "I set her up Ray, it was a stupid thing to do I know but I had to do it," Ray crossed his arms, "You had to do it..." He retorted, "You almost killed the poor girl, what would you have done then?" Kai glared at him, "I-" He paused, "I... I don't know, she just got so angry with me at the hospital. She was yelling at me and telling me how I should rot in hell. I just... don't know what to do anymore; we share a relationship where I think we both care for each other that we're missing the signs, but whats the point, she gonna marry my Grandfather in a week so what does it matter?" Ray watched him with a small smile upon his lips, "Do you love her?" Kai looked at him, the shock rattled inside him to the core, he ... did love Xander, "I... erm... well ... I guess I do,"

"Then tell her," Ray replied. "I can't... look at the mess she's in, she won't listen now, it's too late," Hilary walked in the room, looking flustered. "You having fun with Tyson?" Ray asked playfully, "Oh no," Hilary replied shaking her head as she took a seat next to Kai, "Alex... She puts up one hell of a fight," She paused, "She's sleeping now, and James just got the plane tickets in the post with a letter of course. Yeah, she's sleeping. I'm glad to be honest, it's been a hard week for us all-so how you feeling Kai?" She smiled, in which he returned, "I'm good, the hospital did a good job, my stitches should fall out before the..." He nervously shifted in his seat, "...The wedding." Hilary patted him on the knee, "Yea, well that's good to hear, Tyson and Max know about the stipulations of the flights and the wedding so I thought I would fill you guys in," She watched Ray and Kai nod.

"Right, The Biovolt," She began with great dislike in her voice, "They've paid for all the Bladebreakers to fly as special guests to the wedding," Ray interrupted, "He must want to make us all suffer, sorry Hilary carry on," Hilary pouted and continued, "James and Mr. Dickenson can fly too providing they order there own tickets. They stated clearly in the letter that when we fly to Russia, we'll be spending the first night together then from there on, Alexander and I will be in a separate hotel to the others. Kai you will be staying with your Grandfather. You all will be measured for suits excreta, and if Alex wishes, I can be maid of honor. Apparently she has a dress, but other then that, that's about it." Kai growled slightly, "Is that it, Boris didn't make any snide remarks in the letter?" He asked, "Not that I read, just that there would be dire consequences if she didn't show, whatever he meant by that. I'm not sure if he's made any contact with Xander, from the way she's been acting I guess he has. But that isn't our concern I guess. Gotta let her get on with her own thing." Ray furrowed his eyebrows; "I guess Voltaire wanted to get on with the wedding before she started showing."

"I doubt it," Sighed Kai, "He would have jumped in at every opportunity to rub it in my face, not that he won't but, he thinks that if he marries her, he can regain power over the Biovolt for longer. So to him, the sooner the better," Hilary looked aside at him, "But I thought she only gains power if he dies," Kai smiled slightly, "He thinks that if he abuses her, when the time comes, she'll refuse power and that would mean Boris gets power, therefore Biovolt continues."

"So this is all about where the Biovolt's future lies? It stinks if you ask me." She replied, "Well, It's not exactly meant to please everybody," Sighed Ray. "Yea, I guess it isn't," Agreed Kai. "But then again, who's to say that the next Hiwatari in line excluding me could get it? The chances are it could go to them." Hilary furrowed her eyebrows, "Do you mean the child if Xander has it? I doubt it, they would be too young." Kai thought hard, "Yes, but when children have become King's, they've employed people to make the decisions for them, it could run along the same principles." Hilary nodded, "Yes, I think you have a point. But Kai, Why does Voltaire despise Alexander so much?" Kai laughed, "She's hated him from day one, she's messed up his experiments, lost him money, destroyed Black Dranzer after she became the next spirit guardian... attempted to beat him up and failed miserably and I can't remember what else, but they are arch rivals. I guess that's all that matters,"

"So could you tell me why she's marrying him Kai?" She asked. Kai looked at her long and hard before he turned away, "He's using it to hurt her in the only way he knows that can really damage her. He's using me as bait so to speak, of course he's lonely, not that either her or I could give a shit but because he just wants someone to be on his beck and call I guess. He told her that he would kill me if she didn't say yes, but I know he wouldn't have killed me even if she said no," She watched Kai yawn loudly, "How do you know that he wouldn't?" Kai looked at her, "Because he doesn't want to go to jail, he'd do anything to stay out."

"But isn't she pregnant because of what he did to her?" She asked, "Yes," Replied Kai hastily, "But she's too foolish to report him for doing it," Ray observed the room, "Yea, but how do you feel about the fact that if you and Xander ever do admit you love each other, that she's married to your grandfather... doesn't that make her your Nan?" Kai's eyes held a great dislike, "Yes, in the eyes of the law, but to me she will always be..." He shifted nervously again, "Well, you know." Hilary beamed at him, "Say it, I know you want to," Kai glared at her, "I want you to die but you don't want to," She laughed at him, "Your so funny at times. I just wish you weren't so stubborn," Ray laughed, "Well, I'm afraid that isn't about to change is it?" Kai shook his head, "Hey, Tyson's more stubborn then me, besides, hospital food goes straight though you, let's go eat." Ray slapped his forehead, "I think your turning into Tyson." Kai slapped him around the head, "You should hang your head in shame, talking about your captain like that, and I should sack you." He laughed as they made their way to the kitchen.

"Tasting you for the first time, just to breathe you in,

Breaking you for the first time, bathed in sin.

You believe, you believe (Just for the first time)

You believe, you believe (Just like the last time)

You believe, you believe

(A seam away from breaking)

You believe, you believe (Always, forever)

The embers will burn you, will burn you tonight."

SilentDranzer: Wow these chapters are being written fast by my standards Just for those of you who haven't read EBF there are some references to the spirit guardians, Kai's late sister, who died of something I cannot remember but she'll be mentioned in a great detail later in the story, and Rayne who was Kai's first true love and Alexander's cousin, who also died I'm mean to Kai. Spirit Guardians are humans who agree to give their soul (or heart if you like) to help advance a bit-beast further then they are capable on their own. But in result the bit-beast takes on their guardians characteristics, like if your Kai, quiet and moody, the bit-beast will become reserved like Dranzer in the anime, but I've written her to be a little too happy for her own good XD After Droopy told me off, I decided to make the Bladebreakers Bit-beasts girls apart from Dragoon, cause that just wouldn't be right... when he talks in the anime he's all manly when the others don't speak I guess so it leads you to wonder if they're girls or boys etc and we don't want Hilary getting angry or jealous because then that's writing our own death letter :D And yes Kai is a little too friendly in this fic! I apologize! It's just the way I've put him across -- I've kept the others true to their anime counterparts I could just make Max depressed and psychotic... Muwhahaha!