Guns, Knives, and the Hinata
Chapter 9: Someone Pass the Script
By: Sano-kun
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Love Hina, but I lay claim to Gunnar.
At the moment everyone was gathered around a round table while looking at a small gray jar with several slips of papers in it. Nervously Keitaro went first and drew out his slip of paper from the jar and was soon followed by the others. Reactions soon followed.
"What I don't want do this!" Exclaimed Naru.
"I get ta be a piggy!" Cheered Suu.
"I'm a clone." Muttered Gunnar.
"Well at least your not a horse's ass." Said Shirai.
"Hey I'm the final boss." Said Seta.
"Ohh this is nice." Said Kitsune.
"Well at least I'm the hero." Said Keitaro.
"Why am I a demon?" Questioned Motoko as she stared blankly at her her slip of paper.
"Just why are we doing this again?!" Asked Naru.
"It's a favor for the woman who runs the hotel so stop complaining all of you!" Said Haruka as she took a drag on her cigarette.
"But what if we screw up our lines?" Said Keitaro.
"I'm sure you guys can go fine just by adlibing."
"But this is useless!" Complained Haitani.
"Haitani there are two theories to arguing with women and neither one works." Said Gunnar as he looked at Haitani while Seta nodded his head in agreement.
"Come on it'll be fun...." Started Mutsumi before she passed out.
"Did she just croak?" Asked Sarah.
"She'll be up in a few seconds, trust me." Said Keitaro as he lifted Mutsumi up from the floor.
The following night...
"Ara, ara this is a big desert." Said Mutsumi as she was dressed in a preists robes while overlooking a desert while riding a shoddy looking horse.
"For being a girl you weigh a ton." Grunted the back end of the horse.
"There is Five Element Mountain, according to legend, a mokey king is supposed to be imprsioned there."
"Hello could any body get me down, these chains are really starting to chafe." Said Keitaro as he was stapped to a bolder with chains.
"Oh there's the monkey."
"I'm not just any old monkey, I'm the Great Sage Equal to the Heavens, Son Goku."
"Now Kei..I mean Goku if you behave I'll let set you free so you can become my first disciple."
"Lemme think..."
"Now Goku. You must help out Lady..Sir...well you must help out Sanzou in the quest to retrieve the scriptures of Buhddah for your past violent transgressions. If you help in completeing the task then you shall be forgiven of your sins." Said Shinobbu as her face appeared via projection above them.
"Fine I'll go."
"Man Mutsumi's heavy..." Moaned Haitani.
"Shut up you two." Hissed Keitaro as he hit Haitani with his staff.
"Goku remember the impressionable children behind you." Said Shinobuu.
"Go Monkey!!" Said a little boy.
"You're the greatest monkey!" Said a little girl.
"Yay Goku." Said another child.
"Okay, okay let's just get this over with." Said Keitaro.
The play went on without much trouble. During the couse of the story Motoko and Suu joined up with Keitaro and Mustumi as the water demon Gojo Sa and the pig, Hakkai Cho. Then things began to go as most people would say, on a handbasket to Hell. It all started with the introduction Kitsune's character of a village cheif's daughter.
"Oh you must help me, there is a mean and nasty monster who wants to claim me as his bride, but right now I'd rather that you Monkey to take me right now than be his!" Said Kitsune as she glomped Keitaro.
"Whaaa!" Said Keitaro as he flailed his arms.
"Ara, ara there are kids in the audience." Said Mutsumi.
"Alright we'll help you out, slaying monsters is our specialty after all."
The scene once again changed as the group of heros found themselves in a swamp.
"Alright I don't see any monsters here." Said Keitaro.
"This is a complete waste of time." Said Motoko.
"Feh-heh-heh-heh." Resounded a sinister chuckle.
"Hey where's that laughing coming from?" Asked Mutsumi as she stroked her chin.
"I don't know." Said Suu.
"You fell for our trap!" Said Shirai as he and Haitani took off the horse costume.
"It's a hobbit and a scarecrow." Said Suu.
"No it is I the Great Lord Kinkaku!" Said Haitani as he struck a dramatic pose.
"And I'm the other Great Lord Ginkaku!" Exclaimed Shirai.
"Hand over the monk now and we'll let you all go!"
"No if I go with you then...." Said Mutsumi before she passed out.
"Well that makes our job easier."
"Not so fast, I the Great Sage Equal to the Heavens, Son Goku shall stop you from laying a finger on my anemic master!" Said Keitaro.
"Pheh what can you do?"
"This.. the Technique of Self Beyond Self!" Exclaimed Keitaro as he plucked some of his hair from his head, chewed it and spat it out when a puff of gray smoke billowed and disspersed to reveal Gunnar in the same oufit as him in a battle pose.
"Hey that Monkey looks burnt!" Said a little girl.
"Yeah like a piece of bread." Laughed another while other children began a chant of 'Toasty Monkey'.
"Damn thee rotten kids!" Growled Gunnar.
"Gunnar." Said Mutsumi as she regained consciouness.
"Oh yeah, let's go now you simpletons!"
"As you wish!" Said Shirai before Keitaro and Gunnar made quick work of him and Haitani.
"Hah no one can match the power of Son Goku..GECK!" Exclaimed Keitaro as he and Gunnar hit eachothers heads with their staffs and fell down while flipping up both the bottom portions of Mutsumi's and Motoko's costumes up.
"Whoa panties!" Said one little boy as his eyes lit up with joy.
"Perverts!" Yelled Motoko as she beat Keitaro and Gunnar before they collapsed into a heap ontop of Shirai and Haitani.
"Vitctory!" Exclaimed Suu as she planted her foot on Keitaro's chest and did the victory sign.
"Well that ends their evil."
"Did you just hear anymore laughing?" Asked Mustumi.
"Yeah...but from where?" Asked Keitaro as he came too while Gunnar began to drag Shirai's and Haitani's bodies off the stage.
"That was very good Goku and friends but this is where your journey ends!" Said Seta as he Sarah and Tama-chan popped out up from the audience and lept onto the stage.
"Se-I mean Gyumaoh."
"Hahaha, now I will take Sanzou with me now since the flesh of Tang monk bestowes eternal youth and immortality."
"Bye everyone." Waved Mutsumi as Seta lifted the young woman in his arms and lept away.
"Stop looking stupid Ura..I mean Goku we have to save our master." Said Motoko.
The scene once again changed to that of a expansive and cave whre in the middle a giant pillar stood. At the top of this pillar sat Seta, Naru, Kitsune, Sarah, Tama-chan and Mutsumi in a Slave Princess Leia outfit.
"Gyumaoh we've come back to claim our master!" Announced Keitaro boldly.
"So you made all the way eh? Well how about we fight Goku-kun since it's the climax of the play." Chuckled Seta as he slipped into t lazy fighting stance.
"That stance....Seta..Gyumaoh ever since I met you I felt something from you." Said Motoko as she readied her spear.
"So you're Ayo..err Gojou."
"Hmph! I hope you accept my challenge!"
"Very well then let's fight!"
"Can't you wait till I'm out of the middle?!" Wailed Keitaro.
"Hey Keitaro-Goku you can go and get Turtle Lady now." Said Suu.
"Oh yeah. Mutsumi let's go now!"
"But I was having so much fun being in Gyumaoh's company." Said Mutsumi with a hint of dissapointment in her voice.
"What the heck type of Sanzou is that?"
"Heh-heh." Laughed Seta as he continued to parry all of Motoko's attacks.
"This man..." Growled Motoko to herself.
"Your stance and grip...is it not a style which is taugh in the deep mountains, the blade which cries to the gods....yes the God's Cry School am I correct?"
"How could you know?"
"Your fighting skill is very good for someone your age Motoko, now it's your turn Goku." Smiled Seta as he patted Motoko on her head and turned around to Keitaro while Motoko slumped to her knees in defeat.
"Don't you understand that I have absolutely no chance in hell against someone who just beat Motoko?!" Said a frightened Keitaro.
"But you came so far now Goku-kun."
"Now for our prize of the Guymoah vs. Goku bout we have a most excellent prize." Smirked Kitsune as she suspended Mutsumi in the air by chains.
"Kitsune what are you planning now?" Asked Naru.
"Something fun."
"My, my what a sexy tang monk we have there." Said Seta.
"Thank you." Beemed Mutsumi.
"But..." Started Goku before he heard Gunnar's voice from offstage
"Are you gonna let him get away with this Bro?" Said Gunnar's voice before a loud thumping noise followed it.
"....No I am a man after all and a man needs to stand for what he believes in even if his life is forfeit." Said Keitaro after much though and condsideration.
"So you decided to fight eh?" Said Seta as he walked towards Keitaro.
"Yes but not alone! Technique of Self Beyond Self.....I said Technique of Self Beyond Self..." Said Keitaro before Gunnar was pushed out onto the stage by an irritated Haruka.
"I'll get you back for this later." Grunted Gunnar in German.
"LET'S BEGIN KEITARO AND GUNNAR!" Yelled Seta as he rushed at the duo.
"RIGHT..YAAAHHH!" Shouted both Keitaro and Gunnar as they charged forth while spinning their staffs. Unbeknownst to either of them they each snagged an article of clothing from Mutsumi and Naru...well in Gunnar's case it was more like Naru's entire costume.
"DOOHHH!" Exclaimed everyone as they saw Naru being stripped down to nothing but a pair of panties and Mutsumi was rendered topless.
"Huh?" Questioned Keitaro as he noticed a bikini top on one end of his staff and a set of robes on the end of Gunnar's.
"Grrr....STUPID GOKU-CLONE!" Growled Naru as she punched Gunnar into Keitaro and Seta.
"RRRGGHH!!" Exclaimed Gunnar, Keitaro, and Seta as they were all knocked out cold.
"Oh no..sorry."
Later on back stage everyone was happy that the play was finally over.
"Hey guys, the owner thought you all did really good so they want you to do this again next year." Said Haruka as everyone looked at her like she was crazy.
"The only way you're getting me to do this again is to have me drunker than Kitsune." Drawled Gunnar as he wrapped some bandages around his head.
"I'm never going through this again!!" Shouted Keitaro.
A.N.- Just couldn't wait to do this part. Anyways you can all look forward to seeing Keitaro and Gunnar getting sent HALO, Naru actually becoming a gentler woman, Mecha-Tama's, haunted caves, why Gunnar and Seta know eachother, and most of all Bloods, Crips, Yakuza and the Triads!
Chapter 9: Someone Pass the Script
By: Sano-kun
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Love Hina, but I lay claim to Gunnar.
At the moment everyone was gathered around a round table while looking at a small gray jar with several slips of papers in it. Nervously Keitaro went first and drew out his slip of paper from the jar and was soon followed by the others. Reactions soon followed.
"What I don't want do this!" Exclaimed Naru.
"I get ta be a piggy!" Cheered Suu.
"I'm a clone." Muttered Gunnar.
"Well at least your not a horse's ass." Said Shirai.
"Hey I'm the final boss." Said Seta.
"Ohh this is nice." Said Kitsune.
"Well at least I'm the hero." Said Keitaro.
"Why am I a demon?" Questioned Motoko as she stared blankly at her her slip of paper.
"Just why are we doing this again?!" Asked Naru.
"It's a favor for the woman who runs the hotel so stop complaining all of you!" Said Haruka as she took a drag on her cigarette.
"But what if we screw up our lines?" Said Keitaro.
"I'm sure you guys can go fine just by adlibing."
"But this is useless!" Complained Haitani.
"Haitani there are two theories to arguing with women and neither one works." Said Gunnar as he looked at Haitani while Seta nodded his head in agreement.
"Come on it'll be fun...." Started Mutsumi before she passed out.
"Did she just croak?" Asked Sarah.
"She'll be up in a few seconds, trust me." Said Keitaro as he lifted Mutsumi up from the floor.
The following night...
"Ara, ara this is a big desert." Said Mutsumi as she was dressed in a preists robes while overlooking a desert while riding a shoddy looking horse.
"For being a girl you weigh a ton." Grunted the back end of the horse.
"There is Five Element Mountain, according to legend, a mokey king is supposed to be imprsioned there."
"Hello could any body get me down, these chains are really starting to chafe." Said Keitaro as he was stapped to a bolder with chains.
"Oh there's the monkey."
"I'm not just any old monkey, I'm the Great Sage Equal to the Heavens, Son Goku."
"Now Kei..I mean Goku if you behave I'll let set you free so you can become my first disciple."
"Lemme think..."
"Now Goku. You must help out Lady..Sir...well you must help out Sanzou in the quest to retrieve the scriptures of Buhddah for your past violent transgressions. If you help in completeing the task then you shall be forgiven of your sins." Said Shinobbu as her face appeared via projection above them.
"Fine I'll go."
"Man Mutsumi's heavy..." Moaned Haitani.
"Shut up you two." Hissed Keitaro as he hit Haitani with his staff.
"Goku remember the impressionable children behind you." Said Shinobuu.
"Go Monkey!!" Said a little boy.
"You're the greatest monkey!" Said a little girl.
"Yay Goku." Said another child.
"Okay, okay let's just get this over with." Said Keitaro.
The play went on without much trouble. During the couse of the story Motoko and Suu joined up with Keitaro and Mustumi as the water demon Gojo Sa and the pig, Hakkai Cho. Then things began to go as most people would say, on a handbasket to Hell. It all started with the introduction Kitsune's character of a village cheif's daughter.
"Oh you must help me, there is a mean and nasty monster who wants to claim me as his bride, but right now I'd rather that you Monkey to take me right now than be his!" Said Kitsune as she glomped Keitaro.
"Whaaa!" Said Keitaro as he flailed his arms.
"Ara, ara there are kids in the audience." Said Mutsumi.
"Alright we'll help you out, slaying monsters is our specialty after all."
The scene once again changed as the group of heros found themselves in a swamp.
"Alright I don't see any monsters here." Said Keitaro.
"This is a complete waste of time." Said Motoko.
"Feh-heh-heh-heh." Resounded a sinister chuckle.
"Hey where's that laughing coming from?" Asked Mutsumi as she stroked her chin.
"I don't know." Said Suu.
"You fell for our trap!" Said Shirai as he and Haitani took off the horse costume.
"It's a hobbit and a scarecrow." Said Suu.
"No it is I the Great Lord Kinkaku!" Said Haitani as he struck a dramatic pose.
"And I'm the other Great Lord Ginkaku!" Exclaimed Shirai.
"Hand over the monk now and we'll let you all go!"
"No if I go with you then...." Said Mutsumi before she passed out.
"Well that makes our job easier."
"Not so fast, I the Great Sage Equal to the Heavens, Son Goku shall stop you from laying a finger on my anemic master!" Said Keitaro.
"Pheh what can you do?"
"This.. the Technique of Self Beyond Self!" Exclaimed Keitaro as he plucked some of his hair from his head, chewed it and spat it out when a puff of gray smoke billowed and disspersed to reveal Gunnar in the same oufit as him in a battle pose.
"Hey that Monkey looks burnt!" Said a little girl.
"Yeah like a piece of bread." Laughed another while other children began a chant of 'Toasty Monkey'.
"Damn thee rotten kids!" Growled Gunnar.
"Gunnar." Said Mutsumi as she regained consciouness.
"Oh yeah, let's go now you simpletons!"
"As you wish!" Said Shirai before Keitaro and Gunnar made quick work of him and Haitani.
"Hah no one can match the power of Son Goku..GECK!" Exclaimed Keitaro as he and Gunnar hit eachothers heads with their staffs and fell down while flipping up both the bottom portions of Mutsumi's and Motoko's costumes up.
"Whoa panties!" Said one little boy as his eyes lit up with joy.
"Perverts!" Yelled Motoko as she beat Keitaro and Gunnar before they collapsed into a heap ontop of Shirai and Haitani.
"Vitctory!" Exclaimed Suu as she planted her foot on Keitaro's chest and did the victory sign.
"Well that ends their evil."
"Did you just hear anymore laughing?" Asked Mustumi.
"Yeah...but from where?" Asked Keitaro as he came too while Gunnar began to drag Shirai's and Haitani's bodies off the stage.
"That was very good Goku and friends but this is where your journey ends!" Said Seta as he Sarah and Tama-chan popped out up from the audience and lept onto the stage.
"Se-I mean Gyumaoh."
"Hahaha, now I will take Sanzou with me now since the flesh of Tang monk bestowes eternal youth and immortality."
"Bye everyone." Waved Mutsumi as Seta lifted the young woman in his arms and lept away.
"Stop looking stupid Ura..I mean Goku we have to save our master." Said Motoko.
The scene once again changed to that of a expansive and cave whre in the middle a giant pillar stood. At the top of this pillar sat Seta, Naru, Kitsune, Sarah, Tama-chan and Mutsumi in a Slave Princess Leia outfit.
"Gyumaoh we've come back to claim our master!" Announced Keitaro boldly.
"So you made all the way eh? Well how about we fight Goku-kun since it's the climax of the play." Chuckled Seta as he slipped into t lazy fighting stance.
"That stance....Seta..Gyumaoh ever since I met you I felt something from you." Said Motoko as she readied her spear.
"So you're Ayo..err Gojou."
"Hmph! I hope you accept my challenge!"
"Very well then let's fight!"
"Can't you wait till I'm out of the middle?!" Wailed Keitaro.
"Hey Keitaro-Goku you can go and get Turtle Lady now." Said Suu.
"Oh yeah. Mutsumi let's go now!"
"But I was having so much fun being in Gyumaoh's company." Said Mutsumi with a hint of dissapointment in her voice.
"What the heck type of Sanzou is that?"
"Heh-heh." Laughed Seta as he continued to parry all of Motoko's attacks.
"This man..." Growled Motoko to herself.
"Your stance and grip...is it not a style which is taugh in the deep mountains, the blade which cries to the gods....yes the God's Cry School am I correct?"
"How could you know?"
"Your fighting skill is very good for someone your age Motoko, now it's your turn Goku." Smiled Seta as he patted Motoko on her head and turned around to Keitaro while Motoko slumped to her knees in defeat.
"Don't you understand that I have absolutely no chance in hell against someone who just beat Motoko?!" Said a frightened Keitaro.
"But you came so far now Goku-kun."
"Now for our prize of the Guymoah vs. Goku bout we have a most excellent prize." Smirked Kitsune as she suspended Mutsumi in the air by chains.
"Kitsune what are you planning now?" Asked Naru.
"Something fun."
"My, my what a sexy tang monk we have there." Said Seta.
"Thank you." Beemed Mutsumi.
"But..." Started Goku before he heard Gunnar's voice from offstage
"Are you gonna let him get away with this Bro?" Said Gunnar's voice before a loud thumping noise followed it.
"....No I am a man after all and a man needs to stand for what he believes in even if his life is forfeit." Said Keitaro after much though and condsideration.
"So you decided to fight eh?" Said Seta as he walked towards Keitaro.
"Yes but not alone! Technique of Self Beyond Self.....I said Technique of Self Beyond Self..." Said Keitaro before Gunnar was pushed out onto the stage by an irritated Haruka.
"I'll get you back for this later." Grunted Gunnar in German.
"LET'S BEGIN KEITARO AND GUNNAR!" Yelled Seta as he rushed at the duo.
"RIGHT..YAAAHHH!" Shouted both Keitaro and Gunnar as they charged forth while spinning their staffs. Unbeknownst to either of them they each snagged an article of clothing from Mutsumi and Naru...well in Gunnar's case it was more like Naru's entire costume.
"DOOHHH!" Exclaimed everyone as they saw Naru being stripped down to nothing but a pair of panties and Mutsumi was rendered topless.
"Huh?" Questioned Keitaro as he noticed a bikini top on one end of his staff and a set of robes on the end of Gunnar's.
"Grrr....STUPID GOKU-CLONE!" Growled Naru as she punched Gunnar into Keitaro and Seta.
"RRRGGHH!!" Exclaimed Gunnar, Keitaro, and Seta as they were all knocked out cold.
"Oh no..sorry."
Later on back stage everyone was happy that the play was finally over.
"Hey guys, the owner thought you all did really good so they want you to do this again next year." Said Haruka as everyone looked at her like she was crazy.
"The only way you're getting me to do this again is to have me drunker than Kitsune." Drawled Gunnar as he wrapped some bandages around his head.
"I'm never going through this again!!" Shouted Keitaro.
A.N.- Just couldn't wait to do this part. Anyways you can all look forward to seeing Keitaro and Gunnar getting sent HALO, Naru actually becoming a gentler woman, Mecha-Tama's, haunted caves, why Gunnar and Seta know eachother, and most of all Bloods, Crips, Yakuza and the Triads!