Chapter IX
-- Still standing--
"I wish you where here tonight with me, to see the northern lights.
I wish you where here tonight with me.
I wish I could have you by my side, tonight when the sky is burning.
I wish I could have you by my side.
Cause I've been down, and I've been crawling.
Thrown back down no more.
Can't you stop their eyes, burning from the skies?
Down on me, I'm still standing.
Can't you roll the dice? I might be surprised.
Conscious clear, I'm still standing here."
Still standing – The Rasmus"How are you feeling?" She asked. "Fine," He replied stiffly. "Oh come on Ben, don't lie to me." Xander replied impatiently. "What do you want me to do Xander? Throw my arms around and celebrate because you've returned?" He turned on his heel, "The world doesn't revolve the way you think. And just because you're back in the picture, it doesn't mean I'm going to change my plans."
"Oh stop trying to be so defensive. I didn't want anything to change anyway, I'm just here for a reason... after it's all over I'm leaving again..." Benji interrupted her, "Just here to use us hey? Well you've always been like that, what happened to you Xander? You where so different, so caring back then, what changed?" Xander pressed her forehead against his windowpane, watching the sun set against the blood red canvas. "I'm still that person, it's just that my priorities have changed."
"And your only brother isn't?" He spat harshly. She turned to look at him, "You still mean everything to me Ben, that will never change." He looked at his older sister; her crimson eyes watered slightly as stifled a small tear, "If it will never change, why have you?" She sighed deeply, "I admit I'm not who I used to be, but its for the right reasons..." Benji watched her pace slightly, "Kristin doesn't think so." She looked over at him, "Kristin can believe whatever he wants, and I couldn't particularly care."
"Well I do," He shook his head, "Maybe Pearse was right, your leaving could have been the best thing to happen to us." She furrowed her eyebrows, "And what the hell is that meant to mean? I'm sure the 'knight in shining armor' told you the full story did he?" Benji blinked twice in confusion, "What'd you mean?" She turned away again, glaring into the open world, "I thought not, listen there's a valid reason I left, maybe someday you'll understand."
"How can I understand if I don't even know what I'm meant to understand?" Xander felt her feelings drift away, "I will tell you some time, but not right now. I must go. See you around?" He nodded, "Yea. See you around."
"Burst like a thousand stars.
Though you are light years away.
Burst like a thousand stars, or more.
Cause your up there, your always with me.
Smiling down on me.
Can't you stop their eyes, burning from the skies?
Down on me, I'm still standing.
Can't you roll the dice? I might be surprised.
Conscious clear, I'm still standing here."
She sprinted as fast as she could to a door at the end of the corridor where the hazy sunbeams cast an orange glow. She pushed herself against the door, and entered cautiously. Everything appeared to be as she remembered.
She threw herself on top of her bed and kicked off her shoes before she rested her hands on her stomach. She wasn't bitter; she hadn't resented her brother, not then not ever. Somehow the truth had become a sick and twisted horror fiction. Now she wasn't sure what to believe, where to turn or how she was even going to survive the wedding. The easiest option was to run, run as far she could. But then she remembered that her cowering self-selfish tactic would result in Kai's death. She knew it was a foolish game that she refused to quit. Her stubbornness would be her down fall, her magnet towards the pain inflicted upon her time and time again. No lessons where learnt, nothing was gained. The Biovolt's fate lay upon her, no longer did the children want to remain there, but no longer did the adults fall impervious to Voltaire's charm. She knew she could do something, anything... One thought crossed her mind, enjoying the scheming; she shook her head a few moments later, "No, mustn't kill him. That will only make things worse."
"Interrupting anything?" Asked a brunette. "Oh..." She paused slightly surprised by Pearse's appearance, "...No, your okay." He nodded and lay down beside her on the bed, "I wondered where you disappeared too," She turned on her side and looked at him, "Oh please stop with the 'I really care' attitude Pearse." He furrowed his eyebrows, "Sorry for caring." The two teenagers lay staring at each other. Alexander rose to her feet, and looked out into the silent hazy Russian town in which the house's foundation was concealed upon. "Benji is really angry at me you know," She sighed, "Yea, I know. He's been like that since he saw Tala the other week," Xander looked into his dark hazel eyes and quickly turned away, "You didn't tell him... did you?" Pearse lowered his gaze, "I couldn't bring myself to do it..." She reached into her pocket, "I don't know what to do, now." She stopped for a second, "I... I had a dream. I was fighting, in a beyblade, against you Pearse. And I dreamt that Draken spiraled out of control, and it really hurt Arkenz' and he was dying, right in front of me. That look on your face, it wasn't caring or full of regret, you ... you where smiling. You where happy. So I fight, and I fight really hard. Kai's yelling at me to quit and Voltaire's sat in the first row, his expression almost matched yours. And then, I fall. I fall down, defeated. I can't go on anymore, Draken hovers above me, whilst Arkenzere lies beside me."
"Shhh," Pearse comforted wrapping his arms around her, "But we're enemies too aren't we, as well as being friends." He ran his fingers though her hair as she rested her head on his chest, "Everybody is there own worst enemy, Xander. Maybe we will end up destroying each other at the beystadium, who knows. No matter what the consequences, you will be the next leader of the Biovolt! Kristin, Ellie and Benji will make sure of that okay? As for Kai, well I'm not really sure. He'll come around..."
She looked up at him, "And what if he doesn't? I couldn't take it if I did." He smiled calmly at her, "I'm here for you. I always have been and always will be, no matter what." She smiled at him also, "I am too, forever and always." The door opened, making Pearse pull away from his grip on Xander, "Xander," Kristin frantically spoke, "You have to get out of here," She looked at him with slight confusion, "What'd you mean?" He started looking for her suitcase, "Boris and Voltaire are on their way here, right now. We have to get you out." Her gaze changed to Pearse, he caught her eye contact, his calm maroon eyes where no longer calm. They where fear struck and slightly watered, "Pearse..." She desperately spoke, "There's no time Alex, we have to get you out... Kristin knows what he's doing okay?" She looked over at Kristin, "Where will you take me?" He looked up at her as he shed a small tear, "I'm sorry Xander. You have too." Her crimson eyes where full of anger, "You seriously expect me to go to the abbey? ... There is no way I'm going back there." He looked at her, "If you don't they will drag you there," Xander furrowed her eyebrows, "Why? What are they going to do here?"
"They want to make sure you're in Russia. We've told him your not here and he doesn't believe us. He said he wanted you to return to the abbey for something, but I refuse to let you go on your own. So I'm coming with you." She watched him place her suitcase in the hallway, "You'd come with me? Why?" He looked at her, "Because this is a very important time, Xander. If you get hurt, nobody will be there for you."
"But Tala's there... Isn't he?" She asked unsurely, "He may be, but I doubt it." He replied. She approached the door, "Maybe it's best I leave."
"Something sacred, something so beautiful,
Something quiet to pierce my mind.
When the pressures taking me over and over.
Cause I've been down, and I've been crawling.
Pushed around and always falling.
Cause your up there, your always with me.
Smiling down on me.
Can't you stop their eyes, burning from the skies?
Down on me, I'm still standing.
Can't you roll the dice? I might be surprised.
Conscious clear, I'm still standing here."