A/N This was intended to be a one shot, but everyone said continue! That was when the writing bug attacked so I decided I'd write more! The rest of this will not be in the same format as the prologue. Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers!

Raven sipped her tea contemplatively as she looked out the window. Beautiful night. She sighed. She was glad that she managed to sort out her unrequited feelings for Beast Boy. They no longer were driving her mad. She had more control of herself now. Although it didn't change how she felt. It didn't change the fact that she liked him, possibly more than a friend. It didn't change the fact that it hurt. She only had more control, she was only a little stronger with keeping her feelings locked away than she was earlier that night. That was the only benefit of her chaotic session within her mind and Raven tried to convince herself that it was enough.

It was one little question that had set her off earlier that day, turning her into the whiny angst ridden ,teenage girl type that she loathed so much. Angsty teenage girls who moaned over the fact that, if they couldn't date their latest crush they would like, totally die, drove Raven crazy. What was the point in pining over something so trivial? That was why Raven thought she would go insane when she realized that, even though it was just for a moment, she was one of them. For a moment she was in the shoes of some whiny, immature little valley girl type. She shuddered. Never again. That was why she had to sort herself out and it worked. It worked, but it still hurt. She couldn't deny the butterflies that tore at her insides whenever he was near, she couldn't deny the nausea she felt whenever he was with her. But at least she had control now. Raven shook her head, she had to stop blaming Terra, she was her friend now. Visions or not, Terra had proved her worth as Raven's friend despite stealing the heart of the little green changeling she had come to respect and admire-- goofy immature antics and all. Raven couldn't afford to be jealous.

During her meditation Raven had reluctantly concluded that Beast Boy and Terra were really perfect for each other and that Raven just had to accept it no matter how much it hurt. She'd get over it. She'd get over him in time. She had no choice.

As she watched as the sun began to set Raven thought about that question. That one stupid little question: Hey Raven, you got any glue?

She shuddered at the memory. It was just an innocent little question, but it turned her into the childish girl she could never be, even if she wanted to, heaven forbid. She was minding her business in the living room, reading one of her many horror novels when he came in and asked that damned question:

"Hey Raven, you got any glue?" Beast Boy had asked earlier that day.

Raven raised a brow, "No."

"Oh," he sighed, "Do you know who might have some? I need the strong, superglue stuff."

"I don't know," she shrugged as she looked at the book she had been reading. She stole several glances at Beast Boy who was heading back out of the living room. Her heart skipped a beat. Damn. "If you don't mind my asking, why do you need glue?"

Beast Boy's eyes lit up and he excitedly sat down beside her. Raven felt like her heart would melt when his fingers brushed against her thigh by accident as he sat down. Stop it, stop it. This is pointless. He stared at her like he had just won the lottery or something. She secretly liked it when he gave her that look. Raven motioned him to answer instead of sitting there smiling like a goon.

"Promise you won't say anything?" he asked.

Raven nodded slightly.

"Of course you wouldn't." Beast Boy chortled, "I can always confide in you with my secrets. You always listen, even when you don't want to and you're the most trustworthy person in this tower!"

Thanks BB...I mean Beast Boy. Man, Raven get a hold of yourself. "Well?" she asked.

"Right, sorry," he grinned, "I just had to get that off my chest. I know you hate sentimental compliments and stuff."

No I don't. "So then what is it?" Raven asked monotonously. She blinked, trying to contain herself. It went unnoticed by Beast Boy though.

"I'm making something for Terra," Beast Boy exclaimed, "I want to surprise her!"

Raven lurched. Terra. Of course. You like her now, that smitten look is not directed at me anymore. She felt nausea sinking in. You're making her a gift? That's so sweet. Why didn't you ever make me something? Raven put her hand to her head to try and shake out such a frivolous, selfish and shallow thought. Come on Raven! Get a grip!

"Something wrong?" Beast Boy asked.

Raven tensed slightly, "No, everything's fine."

Beast Boy shrugged, oblivious to her inner plight. "I'm making her this heart shaped box. It's going to look so cool when I'm done! Do you think Terra will like it?" His smile grew wider and his eyes sparkled.

Raven didn't answer, she just stared at him, her expression was blank. I always loved the way your eyes seem to reflect the light, and that cute boyish grin of yours. It's captivating really and...oh dammit Raven! Stop it! You're acting like an immature, boy crazy thirteen year old! Show some maturity.

"So you don't think she'll like it?" he sounded disappointed, interpreting her stony stare as sarcastic disapproval. "What do you think I should give her then?"

I've gotta stop staring! Quickly returning to her book, she shrugged, "I don't know. Ask Starfire, she's better at that sort of thing than I could ever be."

Beast Boy sighed, "But Raven, I'm asking you. I want your opinion. Besides, if Star knew, she'd spill. I know she wouldn't mean to but I really want it to be a huge surprise. You're the only person I trust not to say anything." Raven rolled her eyes. He winkled his brow, his face became uncharacteristically serious and contemplative, "You still don't trust Terra, do you Raven?" she shrugged. He continued, "I don't get it. You two have bonded I'm sure, you get along with her like you do everyone else, but I get the feeling that you hate her still."

"Why would I hate her?" Raven asked, harsher than intended. Her book blew up in her hands. Damnit!

Beast Boy looked at her with a frown, "Do you still think she's out to get us? If that's the case then I don't know what your deal is. She's already proved she's on our side! If you can't accept that then..."

"I don't hate her. I'm just not the person to ask," Raven replied. She pulled her hood up over her head. "How should I know what Terra would like?"

"I guess you're right. You couldn't really understand when it comes to this sort of thing, could you? You're too dark," he sighed genlty, not trying to sound mean, or accusing, but the words burned Raven like venom. Probably because it was true.

Raven subconsciously clutched her cloak in nervousness, but it went unnoticed by him, "That's right, I am." she said coldly. Doesn't mean I don't care... that doesn't mean I don't feel... Argh! Raven get a friggin' grip on yourself already! So you love him big deal! It's not the end of the wor...love? No, I can't love him. I can't. We're just friends. Sure, I like him, a lot. He's cute and funny and sweet. Of all the people on this team he's the only one who's made any real effort to get to know me, to make me smile despite the danger and...oh crap! Not again! I thought I dealt with this weeks ago! Raven closed her eyes and tried desperately to will away her rogue emotions. She lowered her eyes to the floor and said softly, "I've gotta go."

"Aw gee Raven I'm sorry!" he called after her as she swiftly darted out of the room, "I didn't mean to offend you!"

Raven had then hidden away in her room to meditate on the subject. It wasn't the first time Raven had to have an emergency meditation session because of her silly little crush on Beast Boy. As much as she hated it, as much as she wanted to deny it, she had it for a while, and she had it bad. But it was the first time she realized it had elevated from a frivolous infatuation to love. And with Terra in the picture... Raven realized it had been a while since Beast Boy went out of his way to try and make her smile, attract her attention...

Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap! she thought as she had realized then that his affection for Raven had officially expired now that Terra was in his life to fill the void that Raven's repressed emotions left him. It was that conversation that helped Raven realize that she blew it.

Sighing Raven took another sip of tea and tried to convince herself that her meditation session was a success and that everything that had happened was for the better. It all helped her understand her feelings. Now that she understood what she was going through, she could deal with it and move on. It was after all pointless to dwell on such trivial matters such as love. Besides, like her happiest emotion said, she should be glad that Beast Boy is happy. He now has Terra to give him what she could never provide: love and affection.

But then why do I all of a sudden feel so incomplete?

Raven shook her head, dismissing the thought. It vanished into the darkest realms of her mind. She will not dwell on it. It wasn't like she could do anything about it. She tried to focus her mind on something else. Anything to get her mind off of Beast Boy. But no matter how hard she tried, his image seemed to etch itself into the back of her eyelids so every time she closed her eyes she saw him. Focus Raven. Focus on something else.

She took a deep breath and attempted just that. She had been in her mirror world for who knows how long, just to sort out all her scattered thoughts, she couldn't let them unravel now. She couldn't afford to have to go back into her mirror world. It was dangerous to go in there twice in one night. It was dangerous to go in there period. That was why she only went in when it was an emergency.

She exhaled and tried to focus. She did like Beast Boy for a while now, but she never had a hard time keeping it together like she was having now. It was easy to deny it before Terra came along. It was easy to ignore it and lock it away. It was easy to put her silly infatuation away in a box and take it out when she pleased. It was easy when there wasn't any competition.

Terra's arrival only opened her eyes and forced her to see the truth about her feelings, that it was no longer a silly little crush, it was more than that. Terra's only crime was getting in between Raven and Beast Boy, getting in the way of their non-existent relationship. She was everything Raven was not, and because of that, it was so much more difficult to control herself.

It wasn't her fault. Terra had no idea how Raven felt. No one did, nor could they ever. Terra couldn't help it if she was the one who won Beast Boy's heart. It was easier for her. All she had to do was be herself and Beast Boy was hers. Raven however couldn't afford to be herself.

Sometimes Raven found it almost impossible to deny the fact that sometimes she longed to be open, carefree and happy, sometimes she longed to be able to laugh at Beast Boy's jokes, ride a roller coaster or play games for hours on end and enjoy it. It was almost impossible to deny, but that didn't keep her from trying to deny that part of herself. She'd rather die than admit it. Perhaps that was why it was so hard. The entire situation was forcing her to acknowledge that side of her personality.

If only I didn't have to be so opaque. If only my mind wasn't my prison. If only I was able to safely show him how I really feel when I had the chance. If only Terra never had come back, then he would still be trying to make me smile, he would still like me. If only... No. I mustn't dwell on 'if only's' that would only destroy me. But still... if only.

Raven rested her head on the kitchen table, using her folded arms as a pillow. She was so tired. It wasn't just because she needed sleep, it was because she needed to meditate, again. She was tired of meditating. She wanted to just give up and for once go a little crazy.

Great, she thought, yet another stupid, selfish thought to lock away someplace in my mind. The thought did cross her mind a lot, but like her crush on Beast Boy, it was easy to ignore, until now. Maybe I should get away, take a vacation or even just disappear. Now that Terra's here, they don't really need me anymore, and getting away from all this confusion... even if it's just for a little while, it will help clear my head of these ridiculous, forbidden thoughts.

It seemed like a wise decision, it would be good for her sanity, and good for the team. Raven rose to her feet and put her teacup into the sink deciding that she'd think about it. No, she'd seriously consider it.

A/N Please, please, please! Leave me a review! All it takes is a clicky on the button down below and an honest opinion. Thank you muchly, have a nice day!