5. Requiem

Harry Potter drew a ragged breath as he closed the door of 12 Grimmauld Place behind him. He set his trunk down on the floor, as silently as possible, still grasping his wand, and the old teacup Dumbledore had sent as a portkey for his flight from Privet Drive. He stood in the gloom of the hallway, overwhelmed by memory, recalling with an intensity that made him shiver the sense of foreboding, the foreshadowing of death he had experienced the first time he crossed this threshold. And Sirius's swift hug and gruff goodbye last Christmas, an eternity ago.

The house was silent. It seemed he was alone. Harry hoped wretchedly to find his godfather's presence lingering somewhere in the house. Lupin had packed Sirius's few possessions and sent them to Harry, but he could not find his godfather in the pages of his books...perhaps there might have been something left in his room. As Harry climbed the stone stairs, Sirius's voice echoed in his mind, 'God rest ye merry Hippogriffs...' He had been happy then, so happy, just to have guests at Christmas. Not to be locked up, alone, again.

Harry crept past Buckbeak, who looked lonely and miserable even in his sleep. A pile of dead rats lay uneaten on the grimy stone floor beside him. Silence hung oppressively in the dark house, and the door to Sirius's room creaked loudly as Harry opened it, his blood pounding in desperate anticipation. He didn't even know what he was looking for, but if he could find something of Sirius there....

The room was not empty. Jade Magellan lay on Sirius's bed, her eyes burning in her white face as she stared unseeingly at the ceiling. She jumped, startled, as he entered the room. 'Harry!' she exclaimed, her shadowed eyes stricken. 'I didn't know you were...' she trailed off.

'Um, sorry,' Harry mumbled, confused. His gaze was trapped in hers, his pain mirrored in her eyes and he paused, transfixed, as he realised... 'You and Sirius were...?'

Jade nodded, mutely. The she gave a tiny, ineffably sad smile. 'Since Christmas...It was the first time in my life I wasn't alone. But...' her words were tumbling out now... 'Harry, Sirius never loved anybody as he loved you. He'd rather have died saving you than been locked up here...'

'But he didn't have to die,' Harry said savagely. 'It was a stupid, cruel, evil, pointless...He never got to live his life. He was locked up in Azkaban and he was locked up here...he hated it...and now he's dead because of me.' He was crying now, past caring what this near-stranger thought of him, grief he could no longer constrain howling and tearing though him as he collapsed onto the low bed.

Jade put her arms around him. He felt her thin body wracked with sobs as his tears soaked into her hair. Eventually, when his misery had subsided, she sat back, reaching for something on the bedside chest. 'Sirius left this here that night. He carried it with him always, he had it in prison...he told me it was the only thing in Lily and James' house that wasn't destroyed...' She held out, a small, tarnished picture frame. The faded sepia photograph it contained showed Sirius, a young, invincible Sirius, tenderly holding a bundle in his arms, laughing into the camera. Lily and James stood on either side of him, their arms about Sirius, smiling rapturously at the bundle in his arms.

Jade took a shaky breath, 'I think Sirius knew he might not come back that night. He left this here for you.'

Harry nodded, unable to speak. Holding the small frame in both hands, he stared at it for a long time. 'Thank you,' he whispered eventually.

There was silence. The house was completely still. 'Harry, I need to tell you something...you have to be the first to know...'

Harry looked up. Jade seemed awkward, uncertain, absently tugging at a strand of long, dark hair. 'I'm going to have Sirius's child...in November...' She paused, unsure of his reaction.

Harry was quiet for a long moment. 'Did Sirius know?' he asked.

Jade nodded. 'I had it confirmed at St Mungo's a week before...the Healer said it would be a boy. Sirius was really happy...worried, but...happy. We decided to call him James.' She paused. '...James Sirius Magellan Black...' she mused. 'Do you think that's too long?'

'It's a great name,' Harry said gruffly.

'Er...' Harry wished Mrs Weasley or Hermione would open up his head and suggest an appropriate thing to say in this situation. 'Er...how do you...feel?'

She smiled wanly. 'Scared, sick, surreal, and scared again...but mostly happy. I never thought I'd have a family...I know it doesn't bring Sirius back, but it feels like part of him will still be here, still with us...Harry...I'll understand if you don't want to, or if you need to think about it...but...would you be his godfather...and his guardian, once you're of age...?'

Harry was too overwhelmed to speak. His throat was constricted and tears stung his raw eyes. With a bittersweet smile, he looked into Jade's rain-blue eyes and nodded.

In the dim silence, the old radio Sirius had been trying to fix gave a static crackle, then a muffled refrain echoed up the stairs...

Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I stared too long
I'd probably break down and cry

Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine

--Lyrics quoted are by Axl Rose