8. Restitution

'I can't believe how hot it is,' grumbled Ron, flopping down on the grass in the hot, sunny courtyard of 12 Grimmauld Place. Lazily, he flicked his wand and summoned a goblet of chilled pumpkin juice. Harry, Hermione, Ginny, Jade and Lupin were already sprawled out on the lawn, liberally splattered with blobs of pale blue paint. With just two weeks of school holidays left, Mrs Weasley had commandeered a work party to prepare one of the upstairs rooms as a nursery for little James. The gloomy walls seemed to resist the imposition of such pastel cheerfulness, with the result that the paint had to be applied rather forcefully. Harry had suggested the use of rollers, but this Muggle convention had not met with much approval.

'I told you we should have used a permanent sticking charm,' Hermione chided, trying with little effect to vanish the paint from her jeans.

'We've had enough trouble with permanent sticking charms in this house,' observed Jade, who had spent half an hour trying to close the curtains over Mrs Black's portrait earlier, while being subjected to a vicious diatribe on Mudbloods and half-breeds. Mrs Black's temper had hardly been improved by the realisation that her late son had consorted with a Mudblood to produce her heir.

Mrs Weasley's voice rang out from the kitchen, calling them to lunch. Jade leaned back on her elbows as the others wandered inside, inhaling the warm, earthy scent of the garden. Getting up seemed to require an enormous effort. Mrs Weasley's rescue potion continued to keep her morning sickness at bay, but as she grew heavier, she felt continuously exhausted. Remus, a comfortable presence, always sensitive to her needs, must have noticed her weary expression, and reached out a hand to help her up. Jade observed the tiredness etched into his thin face, the almost feral, haunted quality of his eyes. Full moon tonight, she realised, as she took his hand.

Just as Lupin tugged her to her feet, Jade gave a sharp cry and fell back to the ground. 'What is it?' he demanded urgently, dropping to his knees beside her, his forehead creased in concern. 'What's wrong?'

'Oh my God,' Jade exclaimed, half-laughing, almost sobbing. 'I felt him kicking...for the first time...'

Lupin regarded her in wonder. Hesitantly, he reached out. Jade took his hand in hers, and placed it on the swell of her belly. He could feel the movement beneath her paint-splattered black shirt. So small, yet strong, like a heartbeat...Sirius's heartbeat...He smiled faintly, and the worry left his blue eyes for a moment.

The baby grew still again. Inexplicably, Jade felt anxiety rising within her. Her child suddenly seemed so real, so alive. She struggled to breathe, as if this weight of responsibility had thumped her directly in the chest. This tiny, fragile human being was dependent on her alone. She tried to force herself to calm down, to breathe slowly, but she was almost hyperventilating as panic threatened to overcome her.

Remus placed his hands on Jade's shoulders, looking directly into her eyes. 'Shhh...you're going to be fine...take a deep breath...'he instructed her quietly. Eventually, Jade felt her breathing return to normal. She blinked away the tears that had gathered in her eyes.

'Sorry, I just...' she faltered. 'I'm so scared,' she finally admitted. 'Neurotic, huh? But what if I turn out to be a terrible mother? What if I do something wrong?'

'I think once you're a mother you'll know what to do,' Lupin counselled softly. 'And if you don't, Molly will be there to tell you.' He grinned encouragingly, despite the angst written in his eyes. 'You'll never be alone, Jade, I promise.'

Jade gave him a weak smile in return, and took Remus's hand as he pulled her to her feet.

The kitchen was cool and dim after the bright heat outside; the yeasty smell of freshly baked bread and a tang of oranges filled the air. Hermione was pleading with Mrs Weasley. 'Please can we just give him some bread...he's been locked in that cupboard for weeks now.'

'Jade, come and eat, dear,' said Mrs Weasley in a motherly tone, putting an arm around Jade's shoulders and steering her towards the table. 'What was that, Hermione?' she asked distractedly.

'Kreacher...can't we just give him some bread? We can't leave him to starve to death in that cupboard, surely?'

'I'm sorry, dear, but those are Dumbledore's orders. He's put an anti-disapparation jinx, and an unbreakable charm on the cupboard, but we can't risk opening it.'

'Kreacher's got enough fleas, anyway,' snarled Harry bitterly. 'He can eat those if he gets hungry.'

Ginny nodded vehemently, regarding the cupboard with hatred in her brown eyes.

'Remus, don't forget your potion this afternoon,' Mrs Weasley fussed.

'I won't,' Lupin sighed, frowning.

Ron tumbled clumsily through the door at that moment, gasping breathlessly, 'Buckbeak! I think something's wrong with him! He won't wake up...'

'What do you mean, he won't wake up?' demanded Lupin, as they thundered upstairs, ignoring the shrieks now being emitted by Mrs Black's portrait. The Hippogriff lay on the floor, an untouched pile of dead rats beside him. He was completely still, and the healthy sheen had faded from his glossy feathers, leaving them dull.

'I brought his lunch,' Ron gestured towards the rats, 'and he was sleeping – he always wakes up for his food – and I couldn't wake him up...'

Lupin dropped to his knees beside Buckbeak, placing his ear to the Hippogriff's chest. 'He's breathing...but only just.'

Hermione had picked up a water dish, and was gazing at it in horror. 'Look...' she whispered. The dish was coated with a film of white powder.

'What the...?' Lupin snatched the dish from her, and examined it closely. Mrs Black's screams still echoed through the house, but were drowned out for an instant by Lupin's roar. 'Accio Bezoar!' A small, greenish-black stone shot through the door and fell into Lupin's hand. He forced Buckbeak's jaw open, and shoved the stone down his throat. After a long, anxious moment the Hippogriff coughed and blinked an orange eye. Hermione sobbed in relief.

'Kreacher.' Lupin cursed hoarsely. Mrs Weasley and Ron had finally succeeded in silencing the portrait, and the house was shrouded in deathly silence. Jade followed Lupin apprehensively, as he stamped down the stairs, and wrenched Kreacher's cupboard open, ignoring Mrs Weasley's squeaks of protest.

Kreacher blinked his watery grey, bloodshot eyes as Lupin dragged him from his den. A stale, mouldy stench drifted from the cupboard. 'Filthy half-breed,' the elf snarled, 'and the Mudblood whore, carrying her bastard child...what would my mistress say if she saw them manhandling poor Kreacher?'

'Kreacher, you know this woman is your mistress now. You will answer her,' Lupin ordered, glaring at the elf. He glanced at Jade.

Her voice low and trembling with fury, Jade demanded. 'Kreacher, did you poison the Hippogriff?'

Kreacher cackled derisively. 'The half-breeds think they can imprison Kreacher in his mistress's house, lock Kreacher in a cupboard...they think Kreacher will take orders from a Mudblood whore! Kreacher obeys his true mistress.'

'How did you get out of the cupboard?' Jade insisted.

'Kreacher knows a lot of things...Foolish blood traitors! They will never know what Kreacher's mistress taught him!' the elf crowed, his vein-webbed eyes popping exultantly.

There was a rush of wings as an owl swooped through the kitchen window. It dropped a piece of parchment on the kitchen table, which Lupin seized. 'Dumbledore.' He tore open the scroll bearing Dumbledore's seal, and read two words inscribed within. 'Destroy him.'

'Noooo!' screeched Kreacher. 'Mistress!'

'I'll do it,' said Harry, fiercely.

Lupin pointed his wand at Kreacher. 'Stupefy'. Stunned, the elf fell to the floor.

'Put his head on the wall where it belongs,' snarled Ginny, struggling against her mother who was trying to drag her from the room. Her eyes filled with angry tears, reflecting the pain and fury she discerned in Harry's gaze.

Hermione let out a strangled sob.

Lupin regarded Hermione with compassion. 'I'm sorry, but this has to be done. Kreacher will destroy the Order if we don't destroy him first. If he can get out of the cupboard...we can't prevent him leaving the house, going to the Malfoys again. This is the only way to stop him betraying us. He's stunned now, he won't feel anything.' He hoisted the elf's body onto the scullery chopping block. Jade noticed that Lupin's forehead was damp with sweat, his hands were shaking, his face sick with revulsion at the task he was forced to carry out.

Harry entered the room, carrying the rusty axe that usually leaned at the foot of the stairs going out to the garden. He stepped towards Kreacher, his eyes dark with hatred, his jaw clenched in vengeance. Lupin pushed him away, wresting the axe from his grasp. 'Harry, I can't let you do this...'

'Sirius is...because of that foul...' Harry's voice was harsh with loathing.

'I know Harry, but I can't let you kill...I can't make you...'

As Lupin raised the axe, Hermione dissolved into tears against Ron's shoulder. He put an arm round her and patted her awkwardly. Ginny was still struggling against her mother's attempts to cover her eyes. Harry stared unflinchingly at Kreacher. Jade saw Lupin's eyes as he swung the weapon. For an instant, blue bled into amber, and they burned with feral rage and human anguish.

Jade's dreams were troubled that night. Her nightmares resounded with Hermione's sobs, the thud of the axe, the smell of blood, the insistent drumming of life within her, Kreacher's manic cackle...and the familiar haunting image of Sirius's beloved face falling away from her. Blood. Tears. Crazed laughter and howls of despair. She woke, sweating, gasping for breath, screaming and howling still echoing in the tangled remnants of her dreams. Growing louder, more desperate. Moonlight cast ominous shadows about the room. Moonlight. Howling. Fear... Remus!

Almost drowning in icy terror, Jade crept to the landing, unconsciously holding a protective hand over her stomach, and peered down the stairs. Remus had transformed. The Wolfsbane had been forgotten. Arthur was chasing the beast into the hallway, brandishing his wand, but his stunning spells kept glancing off the wolf. 'FOUL HALF-BREED!' rent the air as the wolf crashed into the hall table. The beast was now within feet of Arthur, howling with bloodlust. It reared and spun round, but instead of diving for Arthur's throat, the wolf flung itself against the portrait, dragging the curtain from the wall. Exposed, Mrs Black screeched in fury. The beast's claws slashed the canvas, its teeth tore through the image, leaving the livid face hanging in tatters. A shrill, unearthly wail faded into silence. The beast slumped to the floor, finally stunned.

Lupin was ill for days after his transformation, delirious with fever and ravaged by screaming nightmares. His forgetting to take the Wolfsbane potion, to which he had become accustomed, had caused severe withdrawal, and he was at times overcome with paranoia, convinced that he had attacked Arthur instead of slashing the portrait. He spent long hours alone in his room, speaking to no one. Jade missed his company, and hoped that his kind-hearted, but weary spirit was not snuffed out.

12 Grimmauld Place seemed eerily quiet in the absence of Mrs Black's yells...it took Jade a while to get used to no longer anticipating them. Ron and Harry had draped the old, moth-eaten curtains over the row of house-elf heads, as Hermione couldn't stand to see Kreacher's severed head leering at her, almost triumphantly, from its place on the wall.

As the moon waned, Lupin slowly recovered. The heat of late August gave way to overcast skies and storm clouds. Raindrops pattered and streaked down the kitchen windows. Jade was waiting to say goodbye to Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny before they departed for Kings Cross when Remus wandered into the kitchen. His expression was wearier than ever, his eyes still ravaged by the beast that had overcome him once more. He gave Jade a kind smile, before going to open the door to Kingsley and Tonks, who were to escort the group to the station. Her heart ached to see him so broken, so lonely. The child moved within her, shifting positions, and Jade smiled wistfully down at her stomach.

'Locomotor trunk' muttered Harry, following his trunk as it drifted down the stairs. The last of the summer holidays had drifted by in a blur of textbooks, packing, Order meetings, blue paint and anxiety. He had noticed with relief but little enthusiasm that he had achieved sufficient OWLS to study Defence Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Charms and Potions at NEWT level, in case he proceeded to train to be an Auror...Harry found he had little inclination to think about the future. The prophecy...to be killer or killed...and the endless days upon empty days with no Sirius living in them. He sighed as he set his trunk down at the foot of the stairs. No one else seemed to be ready. Dragging his feet, he mooched into the kitchen, flopping into the armchair beside Jade's.

She smiled wryly, as if she understood how he felt. 'Back to school...'

Harry nodded. 'Yeah...it's going to be kind of...strange.'

'I know,' Jade said sympathetically, wishing for something to bring a vestige of happiness back into his life. 'Ouch,' she added, grimacing. 'Stop that!'

'Are you okay?' Harry asked.

'Fine,' she smiled. 'Thanks....James is fidgety today.'

'Um...' Harry hesitated, 'does it...could I...?'

'Of course.' Jade smiled again. 'Right here...' she took Harry's hand in hers, and placed it on the swell of her belly, where he could feel the tiny pulse of life within. His godson. A new life...a flutter of hope.

Voices and trunks clattered overhead. Jade pulled Harry into a tight hug. 'Look after yourself, Harry...see you soon.'

'Take care, Jade,' Harry said gruffly, but he smiled. Jade's gaze and her wishes followed him out of the door into the rain.