10. Stormy-eyed Angel
Jade blinked confusedly as she raised her head from the jumble of papers on her desk, reflecting shafts of pale late afternoon sunshine. She must have fallen asleep again. She had been making notes on a paper on house-elf enchantments that she had promised to send Hermione. Some of the charms described were extremely advanced, even for Hermione, and required some explanation. Jade's mind refused to focus and she kept drifting towards sleep. She stared determinedly at the pages in front of her before her focus slipped again, and she closed her weary eyes just for a moment...A dull cramp pressing against the base of her spine woke her from her doze a few minutes later. Jade panicked for an instant...surely not yet? There were days to go still...She sighed. Giving up on the idea of work, she manoeuvred herself heavily from behind the desk, and lay down on her bed. Now that she had decided to sleep, her mind remained obstinately awake. Her back ached dully, and she needed to use the bathroom for what felt like the thousandth time that day. Reluctantly, she pushed herself into a sitting position, swung her legs clumsily over the side of the bed, and heaved herself to her feet.
As she moved slowly towards the door, Jade felt a strange rushing sensation between her legs. Moving as fast as she could, she snatched up her wand to vanish the water that had pooled on the slate floor, before she fully registered...Oh God, it's time...Praying that Molly had arrived while she was sleeping, Jade made her way gingerly downstairs. To her dismay, the kitchen was empty except for Dumbledore, who was frowning over some documents at the table. He looked up at the sound of Jade's footsteps, his blue eyes peering at her over his half-moon spectacles, observing her pale, anxious face.
'Is everything all right?' he asked in a concerned tone.
Jade noticed Dumbledore's barn owl perched on the window ledge. 'Professor...could I use your owl...? Molly said to let her know as soon as...um...my waters broke.' Jade blushed. Despite the fact that she was about to give birth, with no women presently in the house to help her, it still seemed bizarre to discuss such matters with the Headmaster of Hogwarts.
Dumbledore sprang into action faster than Jade ever remembered seeing him move. He scribbled notes on three separate pieces of parchment, before knocking over his ink pot, the contents of which streamed blackly all over the table. The owl flapped its wings in alarm as Dumbledore seized it abruptly from the window ledge, tied the parchments hastily to its leg and flung it unceremoniously from the window. The headmaster reminded Jade not so much of a wise old owl as a chickless mother hen. While they waited for Mrs Weasley, and the midwife from St Mungo's, Dumbledore fussed agitatedly about her, making a cup of tea which he snatched from her lips at the last minute, lest she was supposed to be fasting. He had her sit down on an armchair, then decided it would be better for her to be lying down, and insisted on helping her up the stairs, frail as he seemed. When Jade winced at her early contractions, he seemed more terrified than she did.
Jade was relieved when Molly and the midwife arrived, and assumed control. Remus arrived shortly after them, bringing Harry and Ginny, who was to assist her mother at the birth, from Hogwarts by portkey. Lupin kissed Jade on the forehead and squeezed her hand encouragingly, while Harry hovered uncertainly at her bedside, before both of them were evicted by Mrs Weasley. Jade was torn – part of her wanted Harry to be present at his godson's birth, but she understood Mrs Weasley's reservations, and she felt too apprehensive to argue.
Harry and Remus's anxious voices, punctuated by Harry's less-than-nonchalant coughing, drifted from the courtyard below Jade's window, with wisps of smoke on the cold night air. Much to Molly's distracted disapproval, Remus permitted Harry a few drags on his cigarette as a gesture of masculine solidarity amidst this most sacred of feminine rituals. Jade bit back a sob as she thought of how Sirius would have laughed.
Little James seemed fervently eager to make his arrival in the world. Jade was dazedly surprised at how rapidly her contractions grew closer together and more painful. Through a salty haze of sweat and tears of pain, Jade saw Ginny rushing about importantly on her mother's instruction, bringing fresh towels, warm water, ice...She heard Ginny's hurried voice in the courtyard, as she dashed out between errands to update Harry and Remus on the baby's progress. Molly remained at Jade's side throughout the night, soothing, encouraging, and focussing her on the rhythm of her breathing. Slow, calming breaths between contractions, and controlled panting in time with the height of the pain. When Jade squeezed her eyes shut, instinctively pushing down on the centre of the pain dragging at her insides, she imagined it was Sirius's hand she crushed in her own.
The light of the waxing moon streaming through the window and the flickering candles illuminated the lines of pain etched into Jade's face. 'Good girl,' the midwife praised encouragingly as Jade panted and strained through the everlasting night. At around midnight, Harry and Remus withdrew from the cold outside, and their pacing footsteps could be heard on the landing. Through the confusion of blinding pain, Jade felt fear encroaching. She could sense the force, the hunger for life drawing her child out into the world, and yet it seemed he would be trapped inside her forever...And the hours wore on.
As the first rays of dawn filtered into the room, Jade knew her energy was spent. Despite the presence of the three women in the room, holding and supporting her, she felt entirely alone. She sensed the shadow of death hovering in the darkness beyond the dawn and the candlelight, and she could not summon the strength to draw another deep breath, to push one more time. Jade closed her eyes...
Sirius was watching over her, his grey eyes smouldering with love and fear, 'promise me...' Jade clenched her teeth. She felt pain intensifying within her and she bore down with a new strength. The spectre of death withdrew, defeated.
'Clever girl,' praised the midwife, massaging Jade's abdomen. 'He's almost here'. A shock of agony ripped through Jade and she screamed as she bore down once more, gasping for breath. 'Still now,' the midwife instructed. 'Wait for the next contraction...then another push.'
'Deep breaths,' Molly coached while Ginny bathed Jade's forehead with cool water. Jade cried out again as furious spasms tore her body and she pushed with all the strength within her, feeling the child released at last. The midwife gently lifted the infant, and washed him tenderly with a soft cloth.
Sobbing, Jade fell back on her pillows, ravaged but exultant. Ginny looked on in awed wonder as the baby was laid on Jade's chest.
Nothing could have prepared Jade for the miracle of seeing her child for the first time. He was red and splotchy and slightly squashed-looking ...and the most beautiful, perfect angel she had ever seen. The hours of pain she had endured were nothing in comparison to those delicate fingers and tiny toes, to the sensation of that downy dark head resting in the crook of her arm. The warm, trusting weight on her breast. James opened his mouth and howled, and Jade laughed with relief, consumed by love more powerful than any she had ever known. For a moment, mother and child were the only two people in the world, as she gazed at him, enraptured. And the eyes that blinked back at her were stormy grey.
Thanks to Sirius Star and Madam Pince of Immeritus for inspiring this chapter.