Back to Me
Disclaimed.
A/N: This is a story written for all us best friends who wait patiently on the front porch for said friend to return again, seeing as that as of recent we have taken the back seat to the significant other... not that I know anything about this at all. Rephrase, this is a story written for me, and Katie and her ''Kitty. '' Slightly personal, more than, based off the line of ''Gods, I now know what it feels like to be Sirius.
(and that is the longest author's note I have ever written, but I felt that I need to rant a little, give some background, and what not.)
So here! To Best Friends!
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I watch James turn his back to me. Leaving me behind.
Lily is here, talking, laughing, with him. Lily is here now, and that is all that matters. I shall cease to exist for these moments. I bow my head, turn to Remus, accept my fate. Lily is perfect for James; there is no denying that. Her laughter lights up his eyes like I never could. Her presences soften his heart in a way only she could. I must accept my position as number two in his life now. He has told me flat out that that is where I stand. ''Lily says she wants to spend time with me at Hogsmeade'' he said. I nodded, and said that I'd be fine with Remus and Peter. I will be fine here with Remus and Peter. They make me laugh; I enjoy their company. We'll meet up with them for lunch. Sit at the Three Broomsticks, the five of us, no, more likes six or more, Lily is sure to have her friends around, too. I wouldn't mind, the more the merrier.
That's what I said when he started bringing her along on our outings. The More the Merrier. That deserves a hollow laugh. Oh, but I do enjoy her company, don't get me wrong there. Lily Evans is one of the most amazing gals, no, women, I know. Mature, self-assured, funny. She reminds me of me almost. Maybe that is why she is so perfect for James. I will say that. Similar sense of humor, amused, interested in the same things. I am one arrogant bastard.
Yet it is Lily that James has given a damn about, not me. No, I am not jealous, I swear. (Why is it that he finds himself the perfect girl, and I am still here, alone? Am I not better looking? More agreeable? Smarter? Funnier?) I understand that a fit like that is one in a million. Wow. James must be the luckiest person in the world, perfect girl, best friend, good friends, loved.
I kick at the ground, self-absorbed, taking no note of what Remus and Peter are saying.
I'd be fine if they got married, James and Lily, that is. I would be surprised if they did not. I only ask to be in the wedding party. Not even going to ask to be best man, though I deserve that. I should not be so... bold... rewarding myself in my mind.
I can hear what he will say now, ''Padfoot, you are the perfect best friend. I've done some crazy shit, yet you've stuck by my side, always. Always. Even when I leave you go spend time with Lily, you understand. Thanks for that. I'd die without you. '' I'd accept those words. I die for those words of praise. It seems to be all the stock in this friendship I have left. Those random comments like that which come and go along with random sentimental moods of his.
I have been spending more time with Remus as of late. Peter, too. I feel as if I am using them. Just having them around because James has ran off with his love. Because I need some companionship. Maybe I should go find myself a girl, lay her, show her off to James, spend all my time with her in my bed, for revenge. Make her be a Slythernin, some obnoxious bitch wrapped up in all the Pureblood propaganda just to make it worse.
But I know I would never do that. I'll sit calmly, impatiently, on the doorstep, waiting for my best friend to come home and remember I am here. And he knows I will, and seems to mock me with his actions because of it.
If I here one more word about his ''lovely Lily'' I wills seriously kill somebody,
I hope he brings his lovely Lily to lunch soon- I enjoy their company. I wouldn't mind her as an honorary sister-in-law. That is if they remember that they should be here for lunch, and not forget to like last time, kissing behind some tree...