Authors' note: ALL RIGHT PEOPLE! This story came about we were talking at a tennis game of Artheph's after school. We saw this odd little guy... or a girl... we can't decide... wearing this freakish costume that we found ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS... then Artheph commented on how she could SO SEE LEE wearing this ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS costume... because of course EVERYTHING WE SEE somehow reminds us of Naruto...and thus the idea for this story formed. We spent the rest of the time carefully choosing which costume each person should have, and I must say, we were quite pleased with our results. AND, we churned this story out in RECORD TIME!! cause we got the idea on... Thursday.. and RUSHED TO GET IT ALL OUT, JUST SO WE COULD HAVE IT HERE FOR ALL OF YOU BY HALLOWEEN. be grateful. be very grateful. anyways. do enjoy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ah yes, Halloween. You might not think this, but yes, our dear ninja's DO celebrate Halloween. In fact, the village has a tradition it likes to uphold when October 31st rolls around. Every year, on that day, all the three-man genin groups HAVE to go out trick-or-treating together. As a group. It's one of those... team bonding exercises the teachers make such a big deal about. And of course, since they are FORCED to go trick-or-treating together, they all MUST wear a costume. Because it's just silly when people go trick-or-treating and they're not dressed up. And very lame.
So this little tradition is the reason why Sasuke found himself standing on a street corner, waiting for his two teammates to arrive.
"Che..." he thought to himself, "this is so lame." He shifted about uncomfortably in his costume. He was dressed up as a devil. A very generic devil, as a matter of fact. Red cape, horns, fake-looking pitchfork, and a swooshing tail. Obviously, creativity was not one of Sasuke's strong points. Not that he knew that his costume was so very over-used. You see, this year was Sasuke's first time trick-or-treating. Ever. His family never really bothered with such trivial things as trick-or-treating on Halloween, and needless to say, after the whole clan was massacred, Sasuke was never really in the mood to walk around and ask strangers for candy come October. Therefore, sad, mistaken Sasuke was feeling pretty good about his costume. He was absolutely sure that NO ONE could have a costume better than his. After all, his costume had an AWESOME, SWOOSHING TAIL. What could be better than that?
Sasuke chortled to himself as he thought smugly about the awesome-ness of his costume. At that moment, a big green blob plopped out of the sky, landing right in front of Sasuke, momentarily scaring all the smugness right out of him. But no worries. After he saw what that big green blob was, all the smugness came right back. The big green blob was Naruto. And his costume. Which happened to be of a... frog. A horribly lumpy, deformed-looking, misshapen frog.
"SASUKE!!! LOOK AT ME!!! I'M A FROG!!! I MADE IT MYSELF!!! ISN'T IT GREAT??"
"Aa." Sasuke answered in that I-don't-care way of his. But inside, he was gloating with joy over the fact that his costume was OBVIOUSLY SO MUCH BETTER than Naruto's. Unfortunately, his inner gloating was cut short by the arrival of the third and last member of their team. Who was also dressed up as... a devil. Not just a normal devil though, oh no. True, she had the fake-looking pitchfork and the horns, but Sakura was a.. hoochie devil, for lack of a better phrase. She had on a short, red leather skirt, with a red leather tube top. Both of which were very tight. As you all know, tight leather clothes tend to get very uncomfortable. The night had barely begun, and Sakura could already feel her skin chafing. But none of this mattered to her. All that mattered was the she and Sasuke had matching costumes.
Coincidence? Where Sasuke was involved, nevar. Sakura had put her ninja-spying skills to good use (for once), stalking Sasuke's every move for the past two weeks, just to make sure their costumes matched so she could pass it off as pure chance.
"Sasuke-kun!!!" She squealed. Just as she was about to go off on a rant about how they MUST have SO much in common since they had both chosen to dress up as devils, Naruto interrupted.
"SAKURA-CHAN!!!! LOOK AT ME!!! I'M A FROG!!! I MADE IT MYSELF!!! ISN'T IT GREAT??"
Sakura stared at him. And was repulsed. Even more so than she usually was. Unfortunately for her, Sasuke chose this moment to turn around and start walking down the street. His tail swooshed behind him.
"Damn, he's leaving! I missed my chance. It's all NARUTO's fault!!!" thought Sakura.
She shot him an evil-death glare and stomped off after Sasuke. A very green, misshapen, cowering Naruto followed meekly after her.
Sakura and Naruto had barely caught up with Sasuke when all of a sudden,
"SASUKE-KUN!!!!" came yet ANOTHER squeal. A look of disgust came over Sasuke's face. That voice. The mere sound of it was enough to cause shivers down his spine. He knew exactly what was coming. He waited. Yep, there she was. Ino. Obviously, Ino had put her ninja-spying skills to good use as well, for she was dressed as... surprise surprise, a devil. And like Sakura, she was dressed as... a HOOCHIE devil. In fact, their costumes were IDENTICAL, right down to the chafing. Sakura was AGHAST. She was just about to shriek out a scathing insult when Ino leeched onto Sasuke's arm like one of those cleaner fish... you know, those black ones that stick on the sides of aquariums and clean the scum off. In this case, Sasuke's like the aquarium, and Ino's like the cleaner fish. Got it? Good.
"Sasuke-kun!!!" Ino squealed again while practically drooling on him, "Look, we both decided to be devils!! We're SO alike!! It's like we were MEANT for each other!!!"
At this point, Sakura had gone beyond aghast. She was beyond infuriated. She was... she was... there are no words to describe exactly what she was feeling. Ino had stolen her INGENIOUS PLAN to make Sasuke fall madly in love with her. Numerous scenes involving Sakura opening up a can of whup-ass and ending in some sort of grotesquely gruesome death for Ino ran through her head. However, a large rumbling prevented her from acting out any of those scenes. The rumbling was very, very large. So large, in fact, that the ground beneath them was actually shaking. Sasuke wrenched his arm free from the suction of Ino's grasp.
"What IS that?" he asked.
"OH NOOO!!!" screamed Naruto. "IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!!! QUICK, RUN AND HIDE!!! THE GROUND IS GOING TO SPLIT OPEN SOON AND WE'LL ALL FALL IN!!!"
Ino sighed. "Don't be such a drama queen, Naruto. That's just Chouji and his retarded costume. If you listen really closely, you can even hear Shikamaru."
Of course, the other three ninjas all strained to hear. After a couple of seconds, they managed to pick something out of all the rumbling.
"RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE, DAMNATION, RUMBLE RUMBLE, CRAPPOID, RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE, CRACKERS, RUMBLE RUMBLE, #$!!!, RUMBLE"
Pretty soon, the source of all the rumbling came into view. Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto all stared. A HUMONGO round, black, rolling mass was coming towards them. Next to this HUMONGO round, black, rolling mass was Shikamaru, who seemed to be having problems walking. He kept... bumping into things and tripping and such. They even saw him walk into a pole once. Each time something of this nature happened, Shikamaru would let out a couple of choice words, hence the profanity mixed in with all the rumbling. As they came nearer, Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto realized exactly why Shikamaru seemed to be having said problems. His costume consisted of... a brown paper bag which he put over his head. He had also neglected to cut holes in said paper bag, thus causing the bumping into things and tripping and such.
Ino ran up to Shikamaru and led him back to where the other three ninjas were standing. Chouji (OBVIOUSLY, that's what the HUMONGO round, black, rolling mass is), however, kept on rolling slowly around them. Circling them. Much like sharks do.
"What are YOU supposed to be?" Sasuke asked Shikamaru, voice dripping with disdain.
"I'm a man. With a paper bag over his head." came Shikamaru's slightly muffled reply.
Even Sasuke had nothing to say to that.
"Erm... right. And what's HE supposed to be?" Sasuke motioned in Chouji's general direction, which was kind of difficult considering how he kept moving around.
Ino sighed.
"Chouji's supposed to be a bowling ball. He used his jutsu to make himself REALLY BIG and dressed in all black. He thought it would be 'witty.'"
She punctuated that last word with the quotation mark gesture people use and rolled her eyes. From the HUMONGO round, black, rolling mass circling the group came a deep chuckle.
"Ino... why does he keep... rolling around us? It's creeping me out." queried Sakura.
Ino sighed yet again.
"Chouji decided that since he was really good at rolling around, what with it being the way he fights and all, he was going to roll around to make his bowling ball costume more realistic. But... the downside to all the rolling is that he gets REALLY dizzy when he stops. So... he can't stop. At all. Until the night is over. Or else he'll be out of it."
"Oh... right."
"..."
"Well then!" said Naruto brightly. "I say it's high time we actually started getting us some candy, wouldn't you agree, Sakura?"
"Right! Of course! We've dawdled here for much too long. Which way are you guys going, huh Ino?" Sakura asked craftily.
"Uhm... I dunno.. probably... that way." She pointed to the left.
"Oh darn! Well, we were planning on going this way!" Sakura replied, pointing to the right. Before Ino could think of a way to keep herself attached to Sasuke, Sakura grabbed her two teammates by their arms and dragged them off.
MEANWHILE!!!
Shino was secretly excited for this long awaited Halloween night. Every year, he yearned to show off his mad scary costume skills. And every year, they were pretty awesome. Awesome, but gruesome. This was the not-so-famous tradition in the Aburame clan. Someone would come up with the costume idea. Then, EVERYONE in the clan would dress up in THAT specific costume idea. This year, it had been Shino who had thought of the brilliant and macabre outfit. It was oh SO macabre. Oh yes, another not-so-famous tradition of the Aburame clan was to watch a scary movie a week before October 31st to arouse the Halloween spirit. Ever heard of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow? Yes, the headless horseman was indeed Shino's brilliant and macabre outfit. And what else to appoint as the black cloak? Duh. Chakra bugs. THAT way, the cloak would WHOOSH and FWOOSH around whenever the owner dictated. Shino inwardly giggled with delight, a rare occurrence. He swooned in the pride of his genius-ly thought out costume. But the swooning abruptly stopped. Shino's chakra bug cloak was telling him of a certain someone with a certain something approaching because he couldn't really see with the chakra bug cloak over his head. You know, headless horseman? No head? Yeah.
"No Akamaru! You're doing it ALL wrong!!"
"BARK BARK!!"
"UGGH! NO!"
"BARKKK bbarkKKK!"
"You SILLY thing! I'm the human here. Of course I would know what you're supposed to be doing!"
The two came into sight. And it was a rather strange sight indeed. At first, Shino only saw a really big tail. Kiba had been walking backwards, lecturing his little dog. But as the two gradually came closer, Shino saw ears. Then, when Kiba turned around, whiskers. Oh, and we mustn't forget the SOFT AND BOUNCY paws! Yes, Kiba was dressed up as a dog. It hadn't been very hard for him to think of the idea. After all, a dog accompanied him twenty four seven.
But that's not it; Kiba just HAD to costume up AKAMARU as well!
"Hey Shino!! Niiiiiice costume!"
I know, Shino thought, but he declined to speak out loud.
"BUT CAN YOU GUESS WHAT I AM??"
"Isn't it obvious?"
"But you HAFTA guess!! That's what Halloween's ALL about!"
"Isn't it all about the candy?" Shino raised his eyebrow. But you couldn't really see it because he was wearing the black cloak OVER his head after all!
Kiba spluttered, trying to think of a good comeback. He couldn't. Shino ALWAYS won these little debates that Kiba would initiate.
"Well, regardless, DO you know what I am?" Kiba asked, excitedly.
"..Yes.."
"WELL?"
"Kiba...you're a dog."
"And what's Akamaru?"
Shino glanced at the poor puppy, who was now muttering in a very dog-like way. It seemed Akamaru was NOT pleased with the costume Kiba had forced upon him.
Hmm...Shino mused. I see...a tail. Ears. Whiskers. MORE soft and bouncy paws. No, Akamaru was NOT dressed up as a dog. That would have been PLAIN silly, even for Kiba!
"A...cat?" Though Shino was a bit surprised and baffled, he didn't show it because of the black chakra bug cloak over his head and the fact that he NEVER shows any of his emotions.
"YEP!"
"I'm guessing that's what you were arguing about before?"
"Heck yeah! Akamaru wouldn't MEOW for heaven's sake! I mean, it's not THAT difficult."
"Kiba...Akamaru IS a dog."
"Yeah, and I'm a human!"
"...That was irrelevant."
And as another debate began, Kiba's and Akamaru's AMAZING sense of smell NOR Shino's chakra bug cloak's AMAZING sensing... senses could notice someone hiding behind the bushes near them. Hinata was concocting a mastermind plan. She was going to SCARE her fellow teammates. You could almost hear the evil laugh resounding through her mind. Sure, this was so out of character, but Hinata couldn't help it. It was her perfect chance. And she WAS dressed up as a GHOST! PERFECT for scaring. So when the debate erupted to a climax (well, Kiba was shouting, but Shino was merely standing there), Hinata found her chance. She jumped out of the bushes.
"BOO!!!!"
Shino and Kiba merely looked at the little ghost standing in front of them.
"OH! It's just you, Hinata!" Kiba chuckled.
Shino decided to be blunt. "That wasn't really scary."
"Oh shucks," Hinata said, disappointed.
An uncomfortable silence developed among the three. Hinata was about to twiddle her thumbs under her ghost costume when Akamaru barked.
"BARRRK!!"
"NO AKAMARU! You're supposed to be MEOWING!" Kiba scolded.
And the argument started up again.
Tenten looked at her reflection in the mirror.
"This costume is soooo cute! I'm so glad Mother made it for me!" She posed in little stances to admire her outfit even more.
"What the hell are you supposed to be?"
Tenten saw another figure in the mirror. "NEJI?"
Neji smirked. His costume was so much better than Tenten's. Whatever it was. His was better, sexier, cooler, modern-er, and just plain AWESOME-ER. No doubt about it.
"Well, what ARE you?" Neji repeated.
"What are you?"
"I asked first."
"I asked second."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, you said I asked first, and then..."
Neji could see this would get NOWHERE. "Fine, fine. I'm a secret agent."
And a secret agent he WAS. He was wearing a spiffy white dress shirt, with a splendid black tie. He had the secret-agent-sunglasses and even the microphone clip on his ear. His black jacket completed the outfit. So, let's just say, he looked pretty sexified. If Tenten had been as obsessed with guys as Sakura and Ino, she probably would have fainted from the sexified aura Neji was emitting. But she wasn't.
She merely said, "Oh, wow that looks really cool!"
"Feh. Of course. But what ARE you?"
"Oh, c'mon you hafta guess!"
"Must I?"
"Yes!"
"Let's just have Lee do the guessing. When's he coming anyway?"
"Should be..."
"I'M HERE GUYS!!!!!" Lee shouted from the doorway.
"Oh look, he's here."
Tenten and Neji turned around towards Lee's voice. And boy, were they surprised. Lee was, amazingly, not wearing green this Halloween!! However, before the two could comment on Lee's costume, Lee spoke.
"Tenten!! Are you...a tooth??!!" He guessed, enthusiastically.
She rolled her eyes. "Hell NO! A tooth is a LAME costume."
"Uhh...you're a pillow!"
"NOOO!"
As you might have guessed, Tenten was wearing a large, poofy white costume. But whatever WAS she?
"Lee, she's obviously a marshmallow," Neji said, after some deep contemplation and after some Byakugan-ing and reading Tenten's mind.
"Impossible!! That's just WAY too random for Tenten's average personality, average looks, and average over-all-ness!" Lee countered.
"LEE!! I AM NOT AVERAGE!!" And Tenten commenced in pummeling the poor ninja.
When Tenten was done, Lee shakily stood up. His costume was rather bedraggled, but you could still tell what he was.
"Lee, I cannot believe you wore that," Neji remarked.
"But isn't it JUST SO GREAT?"
"Not really."
"Neji's right, Lee. That IS a pretty lame costume."
"Geez, you guys! You're putting me down!! I worked hard to get the money for this costume!"
"Well, it didn't seem to be worth it."
"You could've gotten something WAY better."
"But...but..." Lee began to whimper.
"Oh c'mon, Lee. It's just...your costume is so...so..." Tenten began.
"Pathetic? Horrible? Freakish?" Neji offered.
"Yeah, what he said."
Tears started rolling down Lee's face.
"Oh, don't be so dramatic, Lee."
"BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE UNICORN FOR HALLOWEEN!!"
Yes, Lee was indeed a unicorn. It was like a unicorn body suit, complete with the horn, a tail made of yarn, hooves, and, of course, sparkly, off-white-purple-ish-kinda-like-Neji's-eyes wings. His hooves even made CLIP CLOP sounds when Lee walked around.
"Always? I thought you were kidding when you said that was your lifelong dream, other than becoming a ninja with only taijutsu skills!"
"No! It really WAS my other lifelong dream! And now I've finally accomplished it, but you guys JUST MAKE FUN OF ME! I don't see any of YOU achieving YOUR lifelong dreams!"
"Well, ours just aren't as simple as being a unicorn for Halloween. I mean, I have to destroy the entire Main House. That is not very simple, mind you."
"Yeah, whatever, Neji. Excuses, excuses."
"Hey, you wanna make something of it, unicorn?" Neji threatened.
"YEAH! LET'S FIGHT!"
"Fine by me!"
"GUYS! GUYS!! STOP IT!" Tenten pulled the two boys apart. "C'mon! This is a BONDING night!! Let's just go trick or treating now."
Lee's mood abruptly changed at the words "trick or treating". "YAY!! CANDY!"
Neji glared at Lee. "Idiot," he muttered under his breath.
Tenten, Neji, and Lee were strolling down the street, periodically ringing doorbells to retrieve candy, when they heard...
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO MEOW!"
"BARRKKKKKKKKK!" A dog spitefully barked.
"DON'T MAKE ME DO SOMETHING DRASTIC!"
Yes, Tenten, Neji, and Lee had stumbled upon Kiba, Akamaru, Shino, and Hinata.
"Oh...hello," Tenten said, uncomfortably.
Things were still a little rocky between these two teams. Not that Tenten or Lee had anything against the younger genin team. It was mostly Neji. Hell, it was ALL Neji.
"Hi," Kiba replied, distractedly. He was preoccupied with shooting a death glare at Akamaru.
Neji observed the other team. A headless horseman? Not bad, Shino. A dog? Typical of Kiba. Oh yes. Hinata. Hinata of the Main House. A MERE GHOST? WHAT IS THIS TRAVESTRAMOCKERY?!?!
Authors' note: Travestramockery was taken from a beer commercial. However, the brand name of the beer has slipped my mind. Coors Light? Bud Light? Something like that.
"A GHOST, Hinata? That is SO something the IMBECILIC Main House would think of," Neji scoffed.
Hinata trembled at the harshness of Neji's condescending remark.
"Don't be so mean, Neji. It's pretty cute for a twelve-year-old," said Lee, who was risking a LOT in contradicting Neji. He reached out to pat Hinata on the shoulder, but Hinata was rather reluctant to have a guy dressed up as a unicorn touch her.
"What are you doing, Lee? ARE YOU DEFENDING A MEMBER OF THE MAIN HOUSE?"
"Umm..."
"LEE!!!" Neji was about to give Lee the thrashing of his life when Tenten decided it was time for her to interfere.
"Yeah...we'll see you guys around." She dragged the two ninjas away.
Hinata breathed a sigh of relief when the older team had left.
"DAMMIT, AKAMARU! MEOW!"
All four teams were happily filling up their slug-shaped bags (In honor of Tsunade because she IS the Hokage, after all. Remember...she's summons a slug with Kuchiyose no Jutsu...) with candy. They were all busy cracking jokes, chuckling politely, merely following, ranting about a specific part of the family, frolicking happily, arguing, brooding, crashing into things, rolling, whining, and just about whatever these fellow ninjas EVER do! But overall, they were all BONDING, which is exactly what this night was FOR!
"Wait," said the genius of each team, or Sasuke, Shikamaru, Shino, and Neji. Their ninja senses were kicking in. "I sense people coming towards us in three directions!"
"GASP!" exclaimed the other two people of each team.
But they kept on walking because these ninjas ALWAYS walk into danger, even though it's really idiotic of them to do so. AND THEY ALL COINCIDENTALLY CONVERGED ONTO THE SAME STREET AT THE SAME TIME!!
The four teams stared at each other. For a long time. Crickets chirped. Water dripped. People coughed uncomfortably, waiting for anyone, ANYONE to break the silence. However, the awkward silence ensued.
THEN OFF THEY WENT ON THEIR SEPARATE MERRY WAYS! Except for Sasuke. He was rather miffed Lee had a TAIL AS WELL. Still, he consoled himself with the fact that his tail was awesome and SWOOSHED, whereas Lee's was merely awesome.
THE END!!