CHAPTER 7
Willow and Xander were panicking. Dawn wasn't back from school yet.
- So ? Xander asked the doctors.
…
During that time Spike took a look inside the house. Deeper than usual. He went to Buffy's bedroom and opened her wardrobe.
« Hummm she must be sexy in that small piece of cloth !" he thinks taking a small low-neck blouse in his hands.
He keeps on digging into Buffy's stuff and finds her intimate diary in the table next to her bed. He takes it and opens it. He begins reading it without noticing he's violating Buffy's privacy. She began writing it at 15. Spike frowns as he's reading.
« He's cute, big, tenebrous, mysterious… he'd make all the girls fall in love with him… he's so hot and sexy, brawny and strong. I dream of being in his arms… We'll have a world just for us… He told me he's older than I am but I don't think so, maybe 3-4 years older than I am … »
- Who the hell… ! Spike says.
« A few months later. We kissed. He came in my room as he sometimes does… I had been waiting for that kiss for days, weeks. And now nothing's going well… He had a reaction after we shared a passionate kiss… »
- A reaction, well, some man come quicker than others, Spikes says smiling. Who the hell is she talking about ?
« He… his face changed when we kissed. He became a vampire, an ugly monster. He left by the window… I thought I'll never see him again, Angel … »
- Angel ! Spike yells to himself. I should have thought of him.
« The year after. Today for my 16th birthday I came to see him where he lives. We made love and that was marvelous. I couldn't have dreamt about a better present. But in the morning he was gone… Then he was unkind to me. He told me horrible things and he made me cry… »
- Poor love ! I would have never made you suffer that way… Well not intentionally.
« He became Angelus again. Then I killed him but he came back. Angel was back again and we were back together. Now I'm 17 and there's no one in this world I love more than this man, the love of my life, Angel. He's everything to me… ».
- But now he's not here anymore, but I am in love and I'll always be there for him !
« Today, after one year of absence this horrible vampire came back… ».
- So you call him the 'horrible vampire' now, that's a good thing Buffy.
« I hate him… Spike and his girlfriend Drusilla… »
- But love…
« He's the most disgusting vampire I've ever seen. I'm reluctant to see him with this insane Dru… »
- That's too much for me. I'd better read what's new and what she says about me nowadays !
Spike turns the pages until finding recent pages, hoping to see his name with nice comments.
The diary is ¾ full and Spike stops at the last written page.
« Today is a sad day, very sad. He left… He didn't even turn back… We were only separated by a few meters and we had a last look. I knew that was the last time I see him but I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. Angel was leaving me alone with my tears. He's and will always be the only man I'll ever love, the man of my life, the only one … As my life only makes sense with Angel I don't have anything left to say now. That's why I won't write anything more in this diary ! ».
- Tell me I'm dreaming ! And me, I'm here, you forget me ?
Spike was upset. He put the diary where he took it and kept on inspecting the room. Then he realizes he's upstairs so he may not hear the phone ringing. He runs down the stairs and checks the answering machine to see if someone called.
- Thank God, there's none !
He tries the phone to be sure it works and there's a dial tone when he picked up. Everything's alright so he sits in front of the tv and waits.
…
At the hospital Willow feels that something happened to Buffy and not something positive cause the doctors won't tell them what how she's doing.
The doctor asks them to sit.
Willow and Xander panic and we can see that in their eyes. They keep their hands together.
- I want to see my best friend ! Willow says.
- Are you going to tell us what's going on with Buffy ? Xander asks.
The doctor looks at them right in their eyes.
- Buffy… Buffy is…
Willow presses Xander's hand strongly.
- Oh my God ! Willow says. Don't tell us she's…
...