Plunky III: The revenge
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "All right, now watch how a MAN screams in horror"
---
Yes, it's Halloween, and you know what that means? PLUNKY! Wow, can you believe that it's been a whole year since the last Plunky story? If you haven't read the last two Plunky stories, it may be a plan to read them now, go on, we can wait....Done? Good. Here we go:
-----
A year had passed since the 'scarring the students for life' incident, and life at the Institute had calmed down..almost. As Halloween drew near, some of the students got twitchy. The fact that no student had ever gone near the attic for a year didn't ease their fears. Xavier decided the best way to be sure the night went without any serious panic attacks was to throw a party, hoping that it would ease the student's minds.
"KURT, KNOCK IT OFF!!!!"
...It worked.
Kurt laughed manically as he bamfed around the room, wearing a vampire cape, trying his best to look sinister. Kitty, dressed in a catwoman costume, was trying to avoid 'Count Kurtculla'.
"But I vant to suck your blood", said Kurt, bearing his fangs...well, at least he didn't have to buy fake ones.
"Kurt, I mean it, it's SO not funny!", whined Kitty, "Lance'll be here soon, I don't want my costume ruined"
"Of course you don't", said Tabby, dressed as a witch, patting Kitty on the head, "you want that costume to makes Lance's blood flow in ALL the right places"
Kitty's eyes widened and she blushed.
"No I don't!", she protested.
"She BETTER not", growled Logan from the corner of the room.
"What are you supposed to be Mr Logan?", asked Jamie, dressed as a pirate, lifting his eyepatch to get a better look at him.
"I'm a hairy, disgruntled Canadian", said Logan, narrowing his eyes, "want to make something of it?"
"Err...no", squeaked Jamie, backing off to hide behind Scott, dressed in a toga...apparently, he was a cyclops....he hadn't been given many points for imagination on his part.
"WORK YOU STUPID STEREO!", he snapped, giving the thing a smack as it started to play 'The Munsters' theme.
"Hey, Scott, I'm ready!", grinned Jean, floating down the stairs.
Jean was wearing a very skimpy green and yellow costume, with a odd yellow bird on the front, a yellow sash around her waist. If Scott's eyes could have been seen, people would have noticed them bulging.
"I made some modifications to my old Halloween costume when I was a kid!", said Jean proudly, "do you like it?" (1)
"Uh...yah...huh", said Scott.
Tabby cleared her throat.
"Scott isn't available right now, let me take a message after the beep".
"Shut up, Tabby", muttered Scott, then groaned as the doorbell rang, "I guess this will be..ugh..Lance"
"You don't have to say it like that!", said Kitty, putting her hands on her hips, "he IS my boyfriend, you know!"
"He IS my boyfriend, you know", mocked Scott in a very Kitty-like voice as he opened the door.
Instead of finding Lance, he found five oddly dressed people. One of them, dressed like Gomez Addams, stepped inside with a grin.
"Hello, Mon Ami, now dis party can really get started"
Scott sighed. There weren't many Gomez Addams' in the world with red eyes and a Cajun accent. Remy ignored Scott completely, letting himself in, walking over to Rogue, dressed as (it now became more clear to the other residents) Morticia....and they'd thought she was wearing her average clothes. Scott shook his head, looking at the rest of the Acolytes.
Piotr was dressed, apparently, as a a sputnik, though it looked like he'd gone metal and had just stuck some novelty fridge magnets onto himself. Mastermind seemed to be a clown, who was grinning eririly. And then there was the box....Scott squinted, no, the box had a flip-up lid....it was a lighter. Green eyes blinked out from two slits in it.
"'Ello", said the lighter in an Austrailian accent
Scott groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Pyro, why am I not suprised you're a lighter?"
"I'm not just ANY lighter", Pyro scoffed, "I'm a ZIPPO!. I have a life-time guarentee, you know"
"Unlike the rest of us", muttered Scott as the Aussie waddled in.
Sabertooth growled, shouldering his way in. He wasn't happy, being TOLD by Magneto to keep an eye on what he affectionately termed 'The Idiot Patrol'.
"What are you supposed to be?", said Jamie, blinking up at him.
Sabertooth mearly growled.
"He's supposed to be a hairy, disgruntled Canadian", whispered Pyro.
"Well, darn, Logan", grinned Tabby, "dont'cha just HATE it when someone comes wearing the same costume as you?"
Logan mearly growled, then glared at Sabertooth...Sabertooth glared right back
"You have to have a costume to come to this party", said Bobby, rather bravely, in a desperate bid to ease the tension.
He himself was, of course, a snowman.
"Fine", growled Sabertooth.
He grabbed some plastic knives from the table laid out with party food and held them between his knuckles.
"Growl, snarl, snarl", he said dryly, "I'm Logan, and I have stupid hair".
Logan arched a brow, before grabbing a nearby mop, yanking off it's head and putting it on his own head.
"I'm Sabertooth, I'm mean and smell of cat food", he said, equally as dryly, "meow"
Jean gave a nervous laugh.
"There, you see, everyone's in costume, everyone's happy", she said, then said louder, "EVERYONE'S HAPPY AND HERE!"
"Except for Lance", grumbled Kitty.
"What a tragedy", said Rogue, not very sympathetically.
"It's okay, Kitty", said Rahne, dressed as Little Red Riding Hood, "he'll make it".
"He'd better", growled Kitty, narrowing her eyes.
-----
After a few hours, the party was in full swing. Though he tried to get rid of the unwanted guests of the Acolytes, Logan had eventually succumed and he and Sabertooth ended up trying to out-drink each other. The Acolytes were soon joined in their party-crashing ways by the Brotherhood. Todd was dressed as Beetlejuice, Freddy a Punch Bowl and Pietro dressed himself as the thing he loved the most.....a mirror. Wanda, trying to seperate herself from 'the idiots' had dressed up in her battle uniform, and had chosen to sulk in the corner.
"Are you SURE you haven't see Lance?", asked Kitty for the fiftieth time.
"Yeah, I'm sure", said Wanda with a sigh, "he said he was comming ahead".
"Well, where IS he?!", cried Kitty.
"Maybe Plunky got him", said Sam, dressed as a scarecrow.
Everyone went silent.
"I thought we'd agreed never ta speak of the P word again", said Logan, looking up from his twentieth beer.
"Who is Plunky?", asked Piotr, blinking.
"The monster that lives in the attic", said Jamie, matter-of-factly.
Remy gave a snort.
"You have a monster in your attic?"
"He's REAL!", protested Jamie, "tell them, Roberto"
Roberto, who for some reason had opted to dress as Captain Nemo, replied with a whimper and began rocking back and forth in his chair, muttering to himself in Portugese.
"Err....Roberto had a rather...traumatic experience with Plunky", said Jean, clearing her throat.
Sabertooth smirked.
"You mean ta tell me you're scared of somethin' that lives in the attic?", he snorted, "you X-Men are nothin' but wimps. The Acolytes could deal with it in a second, right guys?"
Jason didn't reply, but carried on grinning in that spooky way, Remy and Pyro nodded enthusiastically, while Piotr faltered.
"I do not think it would be a good idea to disturb a monster in his home", he said.
Pietro arched a brow.
"Piotr, you're over seven foot tall and can trasform your skin into organic steel. You can lift a tractor", he pointed out, "I don't think you have anythign to be firightened of.."
"Nyent!", rpelied Piotr, shaking his head.
.....Apparently, the Rasbutins' were a very superstisious family, and nother could be said to budge Piotr from his place....and no one had the strength to move him physically, either. So it came to pass that Sabertooth, Remy, Pyro started up to the attic, followed by Jamie, Tabby and Kitty for proof that they'd actually DONE something. Sabertooth unlocked the now heavily bolted door and entered, sniffing the air.
"I smell fish heads", he announced.
"That's what they feed him", pointed out Jamie helpfully.
"Lovely", said Remy with a grimace, then squeaked as something brushed against him, "MON DIEU!"
"Sorry, that was me", said Tabby sheepishly.
"Tabby, I will choose not to ask you why you were DAT close to my backside", said Remy.
"That would be wise", said Tabby with a nod.
Suddenly, a black shadow moved form the corner of the room. Sabertooth made a funny hissing sound, his hair standing on end before he promptly bolted out of the door like...well, a spooked cat.
"He heh, Sabey-tooth ran away", chuckled Pyro, "run kitty, run!"
The shadow moved again, outstretching arms with long claws attached.
"I...errr....think we should run now", laughed Remy, making a dash for the door.
"But it's fun", protested Pyro, "let me set fire to it!".
The shape moved closer, causing Remy to run back, grabbing Pyro by the collar and dashing out.
"So much for the big brave Acolytes", Kitty mocked, before squeaking as the shadow groaned, running for the door.
"WAIT FOR ME!", cried out Jamie, running for freedom, managing to smack his head on the door frame on the way out. He feel to the floor with a thunk, his resulting clone looked bewildered around, before grabbing...errr..himself and dragging him back downstairs.
The shape groaned again, coming into sight. It pulled off it's big head with beady eyes, revealing Lance.
"Guys, wait!"
Okay, so his plan had NOT been sucessfull. He'd decided to get into costume, get into the mansion early and spook Kitty. They could have all had a laugh about it afterwards, Kitty would kiss his cheek and call him a silly goose, all would be well.....it was then Lance relaised how stupidly not thought out his plan was. His major mistake was only telling it to Wanda, who had promptly forgotten, henceforth, when he got into the mansion via a roof to the attic, finding the place completely padlocked, he'd been left stranded. Sure, he could have got the ladder down again...had Mr McCoy not found it and taken it away, unkowing someone was actually locked in the attic. Lance sighed, hanging his head...well...at least the door was open now.
"Great", he said to himself.
"Cruckachoo?"
Lance blinked, looking down. In the darkness. a pair of big, beady eyes blinked up at him. It wagged it's tail at him, which made a rattling sound.
"ARRGHHHH!", screamed Lance, running out of the attic, leaving the door wide open.
A few moments' later, a pair of cougar-like legs appeared at the doorway.
-----
"LANCE, YOU ARE A AN IDIOT!"
...Well, at least she hand't hit him yet. It seemed Kitty had not appreciated Lance's little joke as much as he had hoped.
"I'm sorry, Kitty", said Lance, "I really thought it would be funny"
"Well it wasn't!", she snapped, "and what's WORSE, you've let Plunky escape!"
"Well done, Rocky", smirked Scott, enjoying Lance's humiliation.
"Awww, don't be so hard on him", said the concious Jamie giving Lance a smile, "I thought the costume was gorgeous. You look simply stunning in it"
Lance blinked once.
"What is wrong with the kid?".
Jamie gave a tut waving his hands in the air.
"What's wrong with the kid?", he said, "honestly, you can't even pay someone a compliment"
He turned and smiled flirtatiously at Remy.
"Right, Red Eyes?"
"I'M TAKEN!", squeaked Remy, hiding behind Rogue.
"All the cute ones are", mused Jamie. (2)
The other Jamie groaned, rubbing his head, before blinking at his clone.
"Aww man, not YOU again", he said, "you're gonna ruin our reputation"
"Awwww, but...", started the other Jamie.
The original Jamie ignored him, promptly reabsorbing himself.
"Sorry about him", he said, "he...errr doesn't represent the rest of me, seriously".
Everyone blinked at him.
"REALLY!", protested Jamie, "they say everyone has a bit of gay in them, well, that's mine"
He shook his head.
"Life sucks when you're different personality aspects are given form".
"Uh.....huh", said Lance, watching him wairily, "okay, anyway..."
"We have to deal with Plunky", said Kitty with a frown, "and get him back into the attic".
-----
Storm hummed happily to herself as she washed her hair. Ahh showers, it was so nice to have one without any stupid teenage girls screaming that they needed to use it more. She paused as she heard the door open.
"I'm in here", she said...wishing she'd had the foresight to LOCK the door.
There was no reply.
"Hello?", she asked, frowning.
Suddenly, the shower curtain was pulled back....and Ororo screamed. She frailed her arms backwards, knocking her strawberry scented shampoo into the shower, it's red goop spilling down the drain. Then there was silence. (3)
---
"It came from the girls' bathroom!".
The gang of teenagers, adults (and Jamie) ran upstairs, where the girls' bathroom door was open. Steam and water rushed from the shower as the drain got clogged up by red goop. The shower curtain was hanging off it's rails, Storm's bath gown lying torn on the floor.
"IT GOT STORM!", screamed Tabby, , lets go see what it did to her".
Scott gave her a scathing look before sighing.
"We should tell the Professor", he said, starting for Xavier's office.
Once they got there, however, Xavier's office was empty. All that remained was a pumpkin on his desk, a big butchers knife stabbed through it. (4)
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", wailed Scott, "not the Professor, he was the best out of us all!!!"
"Didn't he leave his wife and unborn child to study mutants?", asked Remy.
"He was the best of us all!!!", repeated Scott with a growl.
"Okay, okay, seesh, sorry", said Remy, holding up his hands.
"Mastermind, find him, would ya?", said Sabertooth, giving Jason a poke.
The spookily grinning Jason made a 'pop' sound and vanished. Everyone blinked in silence for a moment.
"Plunky's got powers!", said Sam, "he can make people vanish...LIKE BUBBLES!!"
"No he can't", muttered Sabertooth, "Jason got outta kid-sittin' by sendin' an illusion out...oooooh am I gonna pound him when we get home"
"Can we get into the matter at hand?", said Scott, "we can't find Storm or the Professor"
"Or Mr McCoy", said Bobby, entering the room, holding up a glass of undrunk water, "this was all that was in his room, they FILLED the place!" (5)
"This is getting VAY too creepy", said Kurt, shaking his head.
Students..and...ahem..others
Everyone stopped at the pyscic voice.
"The Professor is trying to speak to us from beyond the grave", said Bobby in awe.
"STAY AWAY FROM THE LIGHT, PROFESSOR!!!!", screamed Scott.
Oh for the love of....Xavier sighed, I'm not dead, you idiots. Come to the library, there is someone I would like you to meet
Everyone blinked in confusion, before shrugging, heading off as one to the library.
----
Once they got there, they were greeted by the professor with a smile. Hank was cutting up fish heads with a grimace in one end of the room, while sitting on the couch was Ororo, fully dressed, albeit wet-haired. Sitting on her lap was...a something. It had the body of a boar, the neck of a kangaroo, the legs of a cougar, the claws of a gila monster, the head of a coyote and the tail of a rattesnake. It blinked up at them with enormous eyes that filled moust of it's head, strange spike like frills running down the length of it's back and neck, which it raised. This...was Plunky.
"That's it?", said Jamie, a little disillusioned.
Plunky, it turned out, was no bigger than a housecat.
"Yes, this is Plunky", smiled Xavier.
"Crukachoo", said Plunky, before licking it's paws with a forked tounge.
"But he's so....", Scott paused for words.
"Small", said Jean, then frowned, "wait a minute, how do YOU know about Plunky?!!!"
Xavier cleared his throat.
"Well..I came across Plunky in my university years", he said, "I was doing some field research into the genetics of bull frogs in a swamp and he just...popped out"
Plunky glanced up as Hank put a bowl of fish heads on the ground. He hopped off Ororo's knee, trotting over to it, happily devouring his food.
"He seemed very...out of place", said Xavier, "he was obviously some sort of mutant, so I brought him home. He's lived in my attic ever since"
"Okay, I can buy that", said Kurt, "but how did Sam know his description exactly?".
"Yeah", said Sam, blinking in confusion, "that was a story a'h made up to scare Jamie"
"HEY!", said Jamie, then sniffed, "I feel betrayed".
Xavier gave a nervous laugh.
"Well, when Sam first arrived at the Institute, I was giving him a tour", he said, "Plunky had managed to get into Ororo's garden, and Sam saw him. To avoid any....upsets, I altered his memory of it a teeny tiny insy winsy bit into a story he told his siblings"
"Well...that explains why Paige can't remember it", muttered Sam.
Plunky finished his fish heads, wagging his tail at everyone, it letting off a rattle.
"So, there you go", said Xavier, "I hope this has put everyone's minds at ease".
He added wilry.
"And lets not have anymore 'screaming episodes', please?".
"Errrr...he's not gonna eat us, is he?", asked Bobby, blinking at PLunky.
"No, he eats fish heads". said Hnak, "that's..pretty much it. I think he's eaten a few rats once or twice".
Plunky sniffed at Kurt, who screamed something akin to 'I am not a rat', before bamfing off.
"Now, I'm going to put Plunky back, beacuse lots of people upset him", said Xavier, "so will you please just leave him alone from now on? I hope with the air of mystery gone, he will be less apealing.
Of course...it was not. As next Hallween would prove.
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(1) - Yes, this is her 70's Phoenix costume. She states it as a Halloween costume in Ultimate X-Men, I couldn't resist.
(2) - Jamie does, indeed have a VERY gay clone, he was seen in MadroX #2. Man, I love that comic!
(3) - Name that movie!
(4) - Name THAT movie!
(5) - Go on, try it!
And there is another Plunky fic done. Yes, I thought I'd finally reveal the little monster. But this is not the last of the Plunky tales, oh no. Wait until NEXT year...Do review! And Happy Halloween everyone!