Authors Note: Hey sorry I haven't updated all week, but I've been pretty busy, but I am updating tonight, and I hope to get a chapter of existent up tomorrow. So you can expect that up too. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Matching With: Searching the truth, the waiting game.
"Dad... Dad... Please wake up." I hear a voice plead with me, just as a hand covers my own. The hand pulls mine closer to their body, placing a gentle kiss on the back, before crying against it.
"He's not just going to wake up, Amy." I hear my son say. "It will take more than your begging..." Jack continues, his voice harsher than usual.
"We're suppose to talk to him..." I hear Ethan chime in gloomily. I listen for a second longer, trying to pry my eyes open so I can look at them and figure out what the hell is going on. I can feel people surrounding me, I can hear Amy sigh, but I can't move, I can't look at my beautiful children, as they sit around me. I want to ask Amy what she is doing home from school, tell her I am fine, to go back. I can't. Ethan should be studying he has exams coming up...
"Did you tell mom?" I hear Millie ask someone. Millie, my Millie, crying? Her voice quivers, and I can hear a body part smack against something.
"She doesn't care." Amy's monotone voice answers...
"We can't just buy them everything they want, John." I sigh, again frustrated with my wife. Of course we can't buy them everything they want, but it is Christmas, and they do deserve the gifts, it's not like we spoil them like this all the time...
"Why not?" I counter.
"Because, I don't want them to think they can have everything they want." She sighs, moving away from the Barbie's to the toy cars.
"They can't. Not unless it's Christmas that is." She rolls her eyes at me again, taking a moment to tuck a strand of hair behind her ears. "I'll tell you what. We'll get them everything they asked for, for Christmas, and then, once Christmas is over, we can make them clean the house, and only feed them bread and water." I grin.
"That sounds fair. So what Barbie did she want?" She smiles, before plucking a Barbie off the shelf. I scan the array of Barbies with my beautiful wife, who is four months pregnant, with our fourth child.
"You do realize this time next year we will have a fourth child." She sighs, looking down at her belly wistfully. I smile, bringing the palm of my hand to her round stomach and gently rubbing it. Yup a fourth baby, I couldn't be happier.
"And then maybe we'll be expecting our fifth."
"I wouldn't hold your breath on that one." She chuckles, picking up a Barbie and tossing it into the cart.
"No? You want to stop at four... Come on Abby, you know you love having all these kids around."
"Hah." She laughs, throwing me a smile. "I love having the kids, but I'm not sure I've enjoyed the 70 hours of child birth." She stops to pick up another toy off the shelf. I stop just short of stepping on her heels, I wrap my arms around her waist rocking her back and forth.
"And that's seventy hours total, smart one." I laugh, kissing her cheek.
"Yeah, and they were worth it... But this little one in here," Her hand wanders back to her belly, "he was a bit of a shocker."
"Even more so then Amy? Amy definitely throw me for a loop." I bend down to her belly resting my lip right near her covered belly button. "Yeah, baby, your sister definitely surprised me, you'll get to meet her soon." Abby's hand wanders to my head shoving me away.
"You think if you rub it, it'll grant you a wish?" She cracks.
"You know, I think you get funnier with each pregnancy." I counter, looking through the action figures.
"What can I say, hormones bring out my comical side." I bet. She reaches forward, grabbing an action figure on the shelf her ring catches my attention as she does this. The same ring I had intended to give her the first time I attempted proposing. This time I actually followed through with it. Which may have surprised me more than it did her. She seemed a little shocked when I got down on one knee in the restaurant that day... But she got over it quickly, and said yes, smiling, she looked happy... I think she was, at the time I was positive she was... But now, something seems a little different about us. I'm not sure what exactly. Sometimes I think it is because we have no time to spend just us. We are running after three kids constantly, one who will send both of us to an early grave and he's only two. This is the first time we've been alone in what seems like months.
"Carter... Earth to Carter." I snap out of my stare and look at her. "What do you think of this outfit for Jack?" We have somehow made our way over to the clothing section and she is holding an adorable outfit with trains on it.
"Rob." I state simply, I can't see Jack wearing that. Yes I know that my son is two, but he has quite the personality. "I could see Jack more in something with the hulk on it." She scoffs at this.
"Yeah, I can't believe what a monster he is. He's a little devil." I roll my eyes laughing.
"Abby, he's not that bad. He'll probably grow out of it, you know, terrible twos." It's her turn to roll her eyes now.
"I swear John, it's not just a phase, that's who he is. He is sneaky, and devilish, not to mention about a billion other horrible things that no mother wants her child to be. And on top of all those things he's smart, which is the deadliest combination."
"Well whatever he is, he is our son first and foremost." I say passing by to grab a navy blue outfit, that is more suiting to Jack.
"Yeah well..." She says, her voice trailing off as she finds something else to focus on. I watch her out of the corner of my eye as she fiddles with the clothes, probably picturing one of the boys in each outfit. Something about her demeanor, maybe it is just the pregnancy but she just doesn't... she doesn't seem happy.
"Why don't we go get some lunch... Come back and do this later." I say grabbing her by the elbow.
"Sure, I'm ready to eat about anytime during the day." I laugh, she doesn't have to remind of that one. My late night trip to the grocery store last night is reminder enough.
We head in the direction of the food court, passing by all the hurried Christmas Shoppers who need to find the perfect give for their significant other. All I can focus on right now is talking to Abby, finding out what is on her mind. We don't talk as much anymore, again it comes back to all the kids, but I'd like to try and fix that. Maybe one conversation won't do it, but we can over time. It's nothing to be concerned about, we'll be okay. We always have been, we always will be.
A neon red sign catches Abby's eye, like a bat outta hell, she flies towards the Chinese food and orders a heap of almost every item on their menu. Normally, I would split it with her, but I'm sure she won't need my help. I go for the healthier selection of pasta and salad. In a few minutes we have gotten our food and found a table, in a reasonably secluded area of the packed food court. She plops her tray down across from me and immediately starts to dig in.
"So..." Obviously I'm interrupting her pig feast, so she must stop to glare at me. "Abby, why don't we, you know, talk while we eat? Like we use to." She gives me, what I'm assuming is a sympathetic glance and puts her fork down.
"You're right, I'm sorry. I'm just so use to having to hurry through dinner." She sighs, picking up her napkin to wipe the sauce off her chin.
"I understand." I smile, "So, what's on your mind?" I ask taking a bit of my salad.
"Whether Jack has tied our babysitter up and locked her in the basement." She pauses while I laugh a little. "Shit. That reminds me I have to call." She begins to get up out of her chair, but I put my hand over hers.
"Don't worry, I'm sure the kids are fine." She shakes her head, removing my hand from hers.
"I'm calling." She gets up, high tailing it outside, where she can use her cell phone.
Sometimes she can be so difficult, but I guess I can't really blame her for being concerned about the kids. Jack does have a reputation, and I'm sure he'll have a police record by the time he's six.
"They're fine." She says sitting down beside me.
"I knew they would be." I mutter, it's best if I don't attack her parenting skills, she's very sensitive about them.
"So what did you want to talk about?" She picks up her fork, slaughtering her food again.
"I just wanted to talk, it seems like we don't talk anymore... at least not about anything other than the kids. You know? It just feels like we have grown distant, like you don't tell me as much." I watch her as I say this, the whole time her head is downcast, fork playing with her food, never putting any in her mouth, until my sentence is finished. "Abby..." I say waiting for her to say something.
"We talk." Through a mouthful of food, great.
"Not really." I sigh.
"Look, John, we both have hectic schedules, not to mention three kids. Jesus, I'm sorry if we can't spare the time to talk like we use too. But I really don't consider it that important on our list of things." I toss my fork angrily into my plateful of food.
"So you're saying our relationship isn't high on your list of priorities?" I sit back in my seat, giving her a long hard look.
"Jesus, you take everything so personally."
"You don't expect me to take it personally, Abby? I love you, you're my wife, yet I feel like you can't even trust me..."
"Maybe I can't." She throws her fork and napkin down, quickly gathering her purse and walking away in a huff. I sit in my seat, watching as she descends into the crowd.
The fading beep of a machine is all that can be heard. The memories are fading, I try to reach out, grab them, hold them in my hands for a second longer. I can't let them go I can't go back to not knowing where things went wrong, or why. I watch as they spiral downwards out of my reach. I try to grasp them...
Thank you's: Froggiezaz- thanks, I'm glad you liked the last chapters flash back...Angel Dust, Carby-Always- I am liking the flash backs too, I like getting to give a bit of an explanation. And... CarolinaCarby. And as always thanks Liby, I hope you like this chapter... Hey and get yours out soon!