Part 9: Any Which Way You Can
Can one really apply psychological reasoning to a horror film? Maybe.
Can one really apply it to a series of film starring a malevolent leprechaun played by Warwick Davis? Davis was a midget actor who made a small (no pun intended) name for himself playing Wickett the Ewok in Return of the Jedi and then starring in one of the better made fantasy films of the past twenty years, Willow, in which Warwick played the title character. But (no pun intended, again), large parts for midget actors weren't exactly forthcoming, and even if they were, they tended to be forgettable (like that actor who had played Mini-Me, Verne Whatshisname). So Warwick Davis had taken the role of the Leprechaun, and surprisingly it must have caught on, as the film had spawned five sequels to date. True, they weren't all masterpieces of terror…but then again, what horror film series really ARE? These days, they're either self-mocking, remade Japanese, or just plain terrible…er, getting back on topic.
The main point was, this was not Warwick Davis in makeup and speaking with an Irish accent, but the character he portrayed, the Leprechaun, brought to life. And to understand why Terra was now on the ground with a large crack in her skull, you have to understand what had just happened and how the Leprechaun reacted to it.
As you recall, Savior had placed the pot of gold on the ground next to the Leprechaun's "dead" body, and after the Leprechaun had proven to not be so dead and sent Savior out the window, the Leprechaun had snatched up his pot and wandered off.
He was still rather upset at Savior's "defiling" of his coin, though, and even though he had tossed the "besmirched" coin back in with the rest, he wasn't paying the greatest amount of attention…and hence when he had picked up the pot and lugged it off, he hadn't noticed another piece fall out and roll away.
The Leprechaun had simple pleasures: he liked to eat potatoes, drink, shine shoes, puff his pipe, and kill people. But the thing he liked to do the most was count his gold. Again. And Again. And Again. To him, each time was a whole new transcendent joy.
And it also had caused him to memorize the entire contents of his pot. And considering that his great deal of dark magical power generated from that pot, as WELL as his obsession with it, he had been quite upset when he had discovered the missing piece when he had sat down on another table to count his gold.
And it had been about that time when he had heard the Robin 4 (for lack of a better term) approaching. In his mind, it was quite simple: strangers plus missing piece of gold equaled thieves that had stolen his gold. So he had hidden himself, and when the blonde girl had tried to steal his gold, as he knew she would, he had taken care of her, and now he would deal with her fellow thieves, as he called on his dark powers and struck out with fire at the strange girl with orange skin.
He was greatly surprised when she dodged it.
By flying up over it.
The blast of fire hit the wall and conked out, as the Leprechaun looked up at the flying Starfire in surprise.
"That's not supposed to happen…" He said.
Starfire fired twin Starbolts at him, blowing the Leprechaun off the table and across the room, as he slammed back first into a wall.
"Neither is that…" He muttered.
"The goddamn Leprechaun." Robin said. He knew the character: several of Beast Boy's films last year had been the Leprechaun movies. He snapped out his staff, even as Scalpel looked at him.
"Orders?" he asked.
"GUT HIM!"
"Done." Scalpel said, and leapt into the air, swinging up his glaive.
The Leprechaun looked up at the descending alien.
"Bad manners, all of you!"
Scalpel was knocked out of the air by a telekinetic slam, but even as he came crashing down on a table Starfire was flying in, firing more Starbolts. The Leprechaun ran to the side to avoid them, passing by a withered house plant, and then he waved his cane at the plant. The nearly dead ferns suddenly came back to life, violent life, as they turned into spiked vines that flew up and wrapped around Starfire before she knew what was happened. She screamed as the thorns torn into her skin.
"Fair young maiden though she be, there's a dear price to pay for being uppity!" The Leprechaun said.
Birdarangs ripped through the vines, though Starfire couldn't free herself from their grip in time to prevent herself from tumbling to the ground. Robin didn't say anything; he just leapt up into the air, swinging his staff around, up and down…
The Leprechaun blocked it with his cane.
"Impolite lot, you are!"
"You were the one who brained our companion!"
"YOU TRIED TO STEAL ME GOLD!"
"NO WE DIDN'T!"
"LIARS!" The Leprechaun yelled, shoving Robin backwards. Robin went with the move, cartwheeling away, spinning on his ankles, and then feinting with his staff even as he went in for a punch…
And the Leprechaun grabbed his arm.
"Bad move, young one."
And the Leprechaun yanked Robin's arm right out of his socket.
Shall we apply the same reasoning to the Candyman?
(Though we may have more ground with him. Based on a short story called The Forbidden by Clive Barker, the Candyman series took several elements from Clive Barker's previous short story turned film series, Hellraiser, and had produced this story. In 1890, there had lived a genius painter named Daniel Robitaille, who happened to be black. That detail did become important in a bit. He was commissioned to paint the portrait of a landowner's daughter. Robitaille did more then that. Considering the year, racial relations weren't the nicest ones, and Daniel was chased down by an angry mob, who committed an act of mass savagery by sawing off his right hand, then pouring honey on his body, which attracted thousand of bees that stung him, while the crowd mockingly chanted "Candyman" five times. After this atrocity, Daniel's white lover managed to break through the crowd enough to get close to Daniel, and she happened to be carrying a mirror. Burning with terrible rage, hatred, and pain, Daniel's soul somehow became trapped in the glass. After a hundred years, this poor man's murder had become the legend of the Candyman, which said that if you chanted his name five times into a mirror, he would appear. And bad things would happen, as Robitaille's time trapped had transformed him into a vengeful monster, lacking any empathy or humanity, stalking whoever had summoned him, murdering those they knew, and sometimes trying to get them to join him in his personal hell. As the Candyman himself said, "They say I have shed innocent blood. What's blood, if not for shedding?").
And even though no one had actually spoken his name into a mirror, the Candyman didn't much have a problem with cutting corners. After all, he was here. And so were people. So, he did what he did best and gutted one.
He was pleased they knew who he was. That always made it sweeter for him.
He was not so pleased when the strange man who seemed to have metal over his body and face suddenly raised his arm and fired a blast of power that struck him and drove him backwards, slamming him against a wall with a thunderous crash. While his human side had long lost the ability to feel most things, he certainly didn't much like the process, or the resistance.
It also kept him from being much surprised when a green lion leapt at him. Instead, he just acted, as he lifted up his left hand and caught the beast, and hurled him across the room like he weighed nothing at all. Beast Boy crashed down at the end of the table, knocking the long piece of furniture down with a crash.
"So you resist." The Candyman said, even as Cyborg charged at him. "Children, you cannot fight the inescapable."
"ESCAPE THIS!" Cyborg roared, as he swung his fist at the Candyman.
The Candyman did: he simply vanished into thin air.
Cyborg yelped in the way the surprised do and stumbled to a halt, and then whirled around…
And screamed as the hook suddenly buried itself in Cyborg's own stomach, piercing through his armor like it wasn't there, as the metal teen looked up in horror at the Candyman's impassive face.
"Come. Be my victim." The Candyman said, and yanked the hook out, pulling wires and parts out even as liquids spewed from the wound, machine blood mixing with human blood.
Robin howled, though he hated the fact, but that very fact was that having an arm dislocated hurt like a motherfucker, and since Robin wasn't prepared for it in the least, he made the howling noise, like a dog being stepped on, as he staggered back, his right arm swinging lifelessly back and forth.
"Your thieves are strange, I must say, but I doubt your arm should hang THAT way." The Leprechaun laughed, as Robin staggered back.
"You…little sunnuva…!" Robin hissed, as he dropped his staff and grabbed for his belt. He was almost out of Birdarangs, but he didn't care, as he grabbed one and hurled it at the Leprechaun.
"Batter up!" The Leprechaun said, as he raised his staff like a bat…and hit the Birdarang right back at Robin. It smashed into his chest and sent his stumbling back over a chair.
"Home run!" The Leprechaun chuckled.
Twin knives suddenly sprouted in his back. It was the Leprechaun's turn to howl as Scalpel's blades buried deep, and he staggered around…and then Scalpel swooped down and slashed out his foot, catching the Leprechaun across the face and ripping a good part of it off. The small goblin flew, blood spraying, and rolled across the room.
"Grand slam." Scalpel muttered, as he unsnapped his glaive and went after the demonic elf.
The Leprechaun was already getting up, now sounding more annoyed then hurt. A wave of his hand caused the knives to slide out of his back, and then the Leprechaun pressed the shredded part of his face back into place, and within two seconds the wounds had faded and vanished.
"Perhaps to say this makes me dim, but your toenails could use a trim." The Leprechaun said.
Scalpel didn't answer: he just slashed his glaive down.
The Leprechaun blocked it, and to Scalpel's great surprise, he managed to hold the block.
"Your hospitality…is among the worst I've ever seen." The Leprechaun said. "But what could one expect from no good thieves?"
"You don't listen much, do you?" Scalpel replied.
"I admit me hearing's not what it used to be…" The Leprechaun said.
And then he vanished, much like the Candyman. Scalpel stumbled forward as the leverage abruptly shifted, and then yelled as the Leprechaun was suddenly on his back.
"Maybe THESE will help!" The Leprechaun laughed, grabbing hold of Scalpel's huge ears. Scalpel yelled and stabbed the glaive up, but he couldn't get the right angle as the Leprechaun kept pulling on his ears, laughing the whole time.
"Can you hear me now? Good! Can you hear me now? Good!" The Leprechaun chortled.
A Starbolt blew him off Nigel's back, sending him crashing into a wall.
"You interrupted my pony ride! Now I'll definitely commit some homi…" The Leprechaun started…
And then Scalpel swung low, piercing the glaive right through the Leprechaun's chest, bringing him up at an angle and pinning him to the wall as the blade burst out his back. The Leprechaun screamed, thrashed…and then went limp.
Scalpel shuddered as he let out a long breath. He could hear Starfire coming up behind him as he relaxed his grip…
And then his glaive suddenly fired backwards, shooting right out of the Leprechaun's body and sending Scalpel, who was unfortunately on the other end, all the way across the room until it hit the opposing wall. Unfortunately, as mentioned, Scalpel's new choice of glaive was bladed on BOTH ends.
Scalpel roared as the situation was reversed and he found HIMSELF pinned to the wall, blood running from his once again open chest wound and hitting the ground, hissing.
The Leprechaun stood up from where he had dropped when the glaive was removed, brushing the front of his suit as the wound disappeared.
"Nice weapon you have there…" The Leprechaun said. "I think I may have use for it!"
The glaive was suddenly pulled back out of Scalpel and flew up into the air, whirling in a tight circle as it flew right for Starfire, who was about to blast the Leprechaun again. She shrieked and ran for it, as the Leprechaun laughed and chased her with the weapon.
"You are a truly outlandish dame! But I wonder, do you bleed the same?" The Leprechaun asked, and chuckled merrily as Starfire flew all over the room to avoid the glaive.
The alien finally got a spot of luck as Starfire did a tight turn and flew past the glaive, which had to turn at an even more outlandish angle to try and impale her. Starfire then zipped to the right at the last second, gambling that the close call would make the Leprechaun overextend himself. And he did, as the glaive shot past her and went right through the ceiling. Starfire yelled in joy…
And then crashed right into one of the walls: she hadn't been paying the greatest amount of attention. The Leprechaun laughed at this as she fell. A wave of his hand brought his cane back to him, and he started walking towards the two fallen aliens, as Starfire had landed near where Scalpel was trying to recover.
"Small though I am, mighty is my spirit when bloody battle calls. Come at me with what you will. Shoot me, stab me, kill me a hundred ways. Still I fight on. I am as eternal as the sun! I am a thousand demons from hell! Death and damage is my game, agony is my name!" The Leprechaun crowed, as he raised his staff. He wasn't sure what he was going to do to finish these two off, but he would make sure it was painful.
The Candyman slowly walked around the table, heading towards the green child. What a strange creature. But all creatures bled…
"Hey." Said a voice behind him.
The Candyman turned, and then Cyborg's fist slammed into his face. Candyman had erred: the robotic teen organic parts weren't assembled the same way as a normal human's any more, and virtually all Candyman's hook had gotten was metal and cybernetics, which Cyborg quickly rerouted to get back on his feet. The Candyman stumbled back at the blow, and then with a roar he stopped and slashed his hook out. Cyborg ducked under it and rammed his shoulder into the Candyman, football tackling him right into a wall. The Candyman swung his hook down, but Cyborg was already sliding away, the edge of the hook catching on his back armor and making a terrible shrieking noise as it glanced off. Cyborg ignored the sound and the sensation as he spun and slammed his foot into the Candyman's gut. The Candyman made no sound or indication that it had hurt, but he didn't seem to shrug it off, as Cuyborg spun up, his sonic cannon splitting apart and converting into his gatling gun arm.
"You know, you really should have upgraded." Cyborg said.
The cylinder whirred up and exploded, bullets ripping through the Candyman, riddling him as he was battered by the onslaught, the wall filling with holes behind him. Cyborg only carried one clip of normal, aka lethal ammo, but he didn't stop until he had emptied almost the entire clip into the monstrous being. When the gun finally stopped, there was an eerie silence.
Beast Boy had finally recovered from his experience as a shotput, and he was wondering if he even needed to come to Cyborg's aid, as the Candyman seemed to be falling…
No, not falling, stumbling. And that only lasted a step, as the Candyman righted himself and brought himself back up, his fur trench coat in tatters…and Beast Boy was suddenly aware that the faint buzzing he had heard before was multiplying, greatly.
"You have disturbed them." The Candyman said, as he reached towards his chest. "Those who do so are not long for this world…"
And the Candyman opened what was left of his jacket. Cyborg's eyes widened as he saw what was underneath. The Candyman's had no skin or torso muscles: all that peered out from underneath was a rib cage…covered in bees, hundreds, thousands of them.
Who swarmed off the bone structure and at Cyborg, who screamed and held up his arms as they enveloped him. He staggered away, bees covering his being. Sonic cannon blasts flew from the mass, causing small piles of insects to fall to the ground, but it didn't seem to decrease the number as Cyborg wailed and howled, trying to escape.
"CYBORG!" Beast Boy yelled, as the Candyman closed his jacket. He turned and regarded Beast Boy, as if he had already written Cyborg off and was now picking the transformer for his next victim.
And Beast Boy decided that if he couldn't assume a form to kill the bees, he'd take care of their master. His form bulged outward as he became a Stegosaurus, the massive reptile barely able to fit in the room, as he twisted and swung a huge tail filled covered in massive bone spikes…
The tail tore apart the wall as the Candyman disappeared again. Beast Boy couldn't raise an eyebrow in his dinosaur form, but his face still conveyed a great look of surprise…
The Candyman was by his side, the hook slicing out and gorging into his flank, ripping open a long glistening wound. Beast Boy shrieked. He hadn't been expecting that: one of the advantages of becoming dinosaurs was that they had VERY thick hides that could guard against a variety of weapons, including high tech ones. But the Candyman's hook was not a normal hook, which would have barely scratched Beast Boy's skin: it was a weapon of primordial rage and evil, and against that, even Beast Boy's skin was no match. Not expecting such pain, Beast Boy reverted to human form, the wound transforming into a long cut that ran down his side and thigh. Though it hadn't hit any arteries, it still bled like crazy, as Beast Boy staggered, stumbled, and fell.
"Beautiful." The Candyman said, as the blood pooled at his feet. He stepped up to Beast Boy. "Come. Let's make a masterpiece."
The blow came out of nowhere, the yellow energy smashing into the Candyman and sending him firing across the room like a shooting star, roaring in surprise. He didn't just hit the wall, he went THROUGH it, crashing down in the room behind with another bellow of demonic fury.
Gauntlet lowered his arm, his namesake weapon now two-thirds of the way up it. The hole in his shirt now only showed scarred skin, and the look on his face was as unlike Gauntlet as anything. It was more a look like Savior would wear. He looked over at Beast Boy.
"I'll be ok. Go!" Beast Boy ordered. Gauntlet didn't reply, he just took off in the direction that he had sent the Candyman. Passing by the still bee-assaulted Cyborg, the Gauntlet flowed out and over the besieged robot, putting a barrier between him and the bees. The insects didn't get a chance to figure out where their victim had gone though: the energy swiftly flowed up and around the bees, and before they knew it all the insects were trapped in the power. Which swiftly contracted and squashed the life out of the swarm.
Wincing as he staggered away, pulling stingers from his head and face, Cyborg was barely aware of Gauntlet summoning his artifact's power to hop through the hole the Candyman had made.
Beast Boy, meanwhile, had pulled himself over to where he figured Gauntlet had made his miraculous recovery. Raven must have excused herself from the battle to heal him. Beast Boy hoped she had enough juice left to at least stop his blood flow…
Then he saw her, sitting, leaning against the wall, her eyes distant, a slow trickle of blood flowing from her nose, and he knew she wouldn't be helping him.
Possibly ever again.
"To steal me gold, a sin far from slight! So it shall be foretold, more thieves die this night!" The Leprechaun said as he headed for the two.
Starfire was still dazed, but Scalpel had recovered enough, as he reached behind him and withdrew the scimitar-like Blacktrinian blade he had taken. With a roar, he leapt at the Leprechaun.
"That's boring now." The Leprechaun said, and Scalpel's leap abruptly reversed itself as he was thrown backwards into the wall. "If you're going to offer one last gasp, make it memorable."
"If you say so."
If horror movies monsters have a universal weakness, it is the fact they cannot seem to resist turning around whenever they hear a voice speak behind them. And upon hearing Robin's voice, the Leprechaun proved to be no exception, as he turned, his face gleeful at the chance to do some more harm to the boy. Maybe he'd RIP his arm off this time.
It was too bad the Leprechaun looked behind himself and not up. For he found no one behind him…because Robin was leaping over him. And he was holding something.
The Leprechaun heard the boy land behind him. But he didn't have the chance to turn around again, as Robin leapt forward.
Had Scalpel or Starfire been fully alert, they still might have not figured out what Robin did. For the best chance of knowing, they would have had to record it with a video camera and then slowed it down.
The first thing Robin did was place his right arm, now back in its socket (though putting it back in had hurt almost as much as it being yanked out), as he swung his other hand down, the appendage holding an object that had odd angles and colors…and apparently some kind of glue, as it stuck to the Leprechaun's chest. No sooner had he slapped the item on when his left hand darted back to the Leprechaun's other shoulder, even as his momentum began to carry him over the elf, even as the Leprechaun started to open his mouth to complain, even as Robin did an insanely tight turn while holding onto the Leprechaun's shoulders and yanked/threw, hurling the Leprechaun over him and through the air. He hit the ground, bounced once, crashed into a table, and then he exploded in a giant blast, shrapnel spraying the room and impaling itself in the second table Robin had flipped up between him and his comrades in an impromptu cover.
"Robin! You have…!" Starfire rejoiced.
"That was everything I had left in my utility belt, and even THAT won't hold him for long!" Robin said, cutting Starfire off. "We have to kill for good!"
"None of this will be effective?" Starfire said, indicating everything they had already used on the Leprechaun.
"No! He's the kind of horror movie villain who shrugs off everything except a special tactic! We need to find one!" Robin said.
"Like what?" Scalpel asked.
"Um…I'm trying to remember…AH HA! A four-leaf clover! We have to find a four leaf clover and shove it in his mouth!" Robin suggested.
"Brilliant!" Starfire said.
"Where are we going to find a four leaf clover?" Scalpel asked.
Robin and Starfire facevaulted.
"He has a point…aha! Leprechauns belong to the fairy folk, even THIS bad seed, and fairies can be harmed by wrought iron! That's easier to find!"
"Robin, outside of graveyards, where can we find wrought iron?" Scalpel asked.
"Yes…and I must say it will be harder to make him eat a big gate rather then a tiny leaf." Starfire added. Robin facevaulted again.
"Dammit, what else besides wrought iron…aha! Leprechaun 4: In Space! He can be killed by hard vacuum!"
"Ok, can you keep him occupied until we can fetch Superman so we can toss him out of our atmosphere?" Scalpel said.
"STOP SHOOTING MY PLANS DOWN!"
"I agree Tim, these all requite things we do not have handy. What else is there?" Starfire said.
"Well…uh…OF COURSE! His gold! If we destroy his gold, he'll die too!"
"Now THAT I can get behind!" Scalpel said as he stood up with his sword. He stood there for a few seconds.
"It just occurred to me I cannot destroy the gold by chopping it. Starfire, if you would?" Scalpel said.
"One shattered rainbow coming up!" Starfire said, as she flew up, heading for the gold as her hands glowed bright green.
And then the ceiling collapsed on her.
"Starfire-AHHHHHHHHH!" Robin screamed as what looked like a pack of playing cards flew through the air…and impaled into his shoulders, pinning the teen against the wall. Scalpel stared at this sudden turnaround (and noted that all four aces were accounted for), and then rods of metal suddenly ripped out of the wall behind him and impaled through his shoulders and gut. The whole Tower rang with his bellow.
"You may be powerful thieves, but me…I'm magic." The Leprechaun said in his new magician's tuxedo, cape, and top hat from the couch he was standing on. He chuckled merrily and then swung the cape around him, vanishing in a blast of foul smelling smoke.
Groaning, Starfire pushed herself out of the wreckage, as the Leprechaun reappeared near the table where his gold was perched, now back in his green threads.
"You may think this line is getting old, but to say it again, no one touches me gold!" The Leprechaun said as he flexed his fingers. "What pretty hair you have dearie." He added as he reached for Starfire's head. "I think I'll hang it on me wall."
Sometimes, Raven wished she had never demonstrated she could heal wounds.
It was a very useful talent, and it had saved her friend's lives a lot, but her ability wasn't like waving a magic wand and saying "Make like Wolverine." In order to heal the wound, she had to take the pain of it into her body. Needless to say, this wasn't fun in the best of times, and in the worst of times it was hell.
Healing a serious gut wound like the one the Candyman had inflicted, while not at the peak of her abilities…that was the kind of effort that broke people. Though Gauntlet had gone into shock, which greatly lessened some of her effort, healing impalement through the stomach and intestines wasn't like closing up a flesh wound or knitting together a bone. Not only did she have to fix the damaged tissue, she also had to do a general clean up job to make sure Gauntlet didn't end up with peritonis. The end result, in her current state, had indeed broken her, as she had sagged backwards when the job was done and entered a catatonic state. She could vaguely hear Beast Boy calling to her, but at the moment all she knew was the feeling of floating in a gray murk.
And for all his goofiness, Gauntlet knew what Raven had pushed herself to do, and he was demonstrating one of the rare times when he took things seriously. And when Gauntlet managed to look at the world without his rose colored glasses…
In any case, let us return to the battle as Gauntlet landed on the floor. Now he and the Candyman were in Cyborg's father's old cigar room, which was filled with fake animal heads and an old fireplace. The Candyman was standing there, as if awaiting Gauntlet's arrival.
"You fight me." He said.
"BRILLIANT deduction there, dumbass." Gauntlet said, and fired off a yellow energy bludgeon.
The Candyman disappeared, the blow striking nothing but air…as it whirled around, even as Gauntlet leapt forward and did a spinning screwdriver turnaround as the Candyman's hook slashed where he had been, the yellow energy catching the demonic spirit as he bellowed in surprise.
"Fool me once, I am shamed…er…whatever." Gauntlet said, and hurled the Candyman into the brick fireplace. Smoke exploded from the pit, even as lines of yellow energy reached out, seized the structure, and brought it down on the Candyman.
He did not crack a joke. He did not taunt or insult. He waited for the Candyman to return. In the back of his head, he was vaguely aware of what Robin was, at roughly the same time, discussing with his team: that the Candyman was the type that couldn't be stopped by normal means. But most of his being was currently filled with his current plan: hit the Candyman until he stayed down.
Cyborg, his face swelling from bee stings, was somewhat more aware of it, as he limped over to one of the broken table's ends and yanked off one of the legs. He had a plan.
It was not a violent eruption when the Candyman returned: the bricks merely slid aside and away as the Candyman floated up, his coat billowing, his arms out slightly.
"Dear child…why do you resist so? Come…end it now…it will be unlike anything you have ever experienced." The Candyman said.
"Buddy, unless you're Pamela Anderson in a hot tub, don't be making those kind of offers."
The Candyman vanished.
The yellow energy snapped out over Gauntlet's back and intercepted the hook. More strands flowed out and planted themselves in the ground as Gauntlet half dove forward/half spun, whirling on the strands as he slammed his feet into the Candyman's chest, once again sending him flying through the room. This time, he didn't hit the wall: he stopped in mid air and then flew back at Gauntlet, slashing out the hook as Gauntlet flipped to his feet and turned around. More yellow strands caught the hook, but this time it kept coming as Candyman exerted his fiendish might and Gauntlet found he could barely resist it: the combination of the Candyman's own power, the lessened state of his own, and the atmosphere that had infected the Tower all combining against Robert Candide. And that barely holding him back was becoming "not holding him back at all" as the hook slowly made its way towards the side of Gauntlet's neck.
"Um…you mind disappearing NOW?" Gauntlet asked. The Candyman just kept shoving his hook towards Gauntlet. "Ok fine I'll give you a reason to leave!"
And talons of energy appeared on Gauntlet's left hand as he reached up and ripped open the side of the Candyman's face.
And bees began to pour out of the wound, flying and buzzing. Gauntlet yelped and formed a helmet over his head as the bees went for his eyes, and then he reformed his talons into a fly swatter that squashed the bees flat…and then the hook ripped through the Gauntlet energy and swung down…
And Gauntlet got his namesake twisted up and in the way of the blow…with the hook cutting straight through the mystical armor and burying itself in Gauntlet's arm.
Gauntlet screamed, though it was a lot more in surprise then pain. Some nutso from a horror film couldn't go through his Gauntlet! It was a…and the hook digging in made him realize he might want to focus on other things. He started punching the Candyman in the face with his other, energy encrusted hand, feeling bones break and squirming insects die under his assault…
And then the Candyman had grabbed him with his other, normal hand, and with a bellow of utter rage he spun and hurled Gauntlet through the air. Gauntlet crashed through the same wall he had thrown the Candyman through, and for a few seconds the wall had two holes before the dividing barrier sagged and collapsed, sending a huge cloud of dust billowing into the old cigar room and the fancy dining room.
Coughing, Gauntlet got up, trying to focus through the fact that his weapon had been damaged, his precious artifact pierced, what had happened, he had been told it would take so much more then what the Candyman should have generated, what was going on, was the Candyman that powerful…?
"Child…come now…this has gone on enough…" The Candyman said as he slowly floated from the dust cloud. "The torment will bring your form to a peak ecstasy could never touch."
"You're STILL not Mrs. Anderson." Gauntlet said.
"If that is what you wish…" The Candyman said, as he began opening his coat again.
And Gauntlet realized that in its damaged state, the Gauntlet couldn't form a proper shield, if it could form a shield at all, and he was a lot softer then Cyborg was.
The pebble slammed into the back of his skull, causing the Leprechaun to stumble forward.
"Hey, short, dumb, and ugly." Terra said. Terra's blonde hair wasn't golden anymore: it was completely red, soaked with blood that dripped off the ends to the floor around her as the vital liquid flowed from the huge cut that was now on the back of her head. But her stance was steady, as she raised one arm…revealing she had the Leprechaun's pot of gold floating on a rock shelf…and another, larger rock floating above it.
The Leprechaun's eyes widened.
"Me gold!"
"Will go straight to the center of the earth if you don't release my friends, right NOW." Terra said.
The Leprechaun's face contorted in rage, but he grudgingly snapped his fingers. The cards and rods removed themselves. Scalpel fell to his knees, while Robin fell right onto his face, groaned, and then began trying to claw his way around the ground, heading for an exit. Scalpel might have been amazed at this, as Robin clearly appeared to be trying to flee…but he had his own problems.
"Ok dear lass, your friends are free. Now give me gold back…"
"MAKE me." Terra said, giving the Leprechaun an expression that might have been the bastard love child of a grimace, an angry glare, and a smirk.
"Dear lass…there's been a misunderstanding! Just give me me gold, and I'll go away…"
"Fuck you."
"Lass…I can make it worth your while…" The Leprechaun said, approaching, his hands held wide.
"Yeah. These coins grant wishes, don't they?" Terra said, as she floated the rock over to her. The Leprechaun's face contorted in great rage, but it was quickly back to normal as he went back to his attempted diplomacy to get his gold back.
"Indeed, and much more, and I'll show you these marvels if you just give it back…"
"No, I'm not greedy." Terra said. "I'll make do with one."
And she reached over and grabbed a coin.
"DIE." She said.
A pause.
"Dye, you say? Certainly!" The Leprechaun said.
A torrent of red suddenly exploded from the ground and right into Terra's face. She screamed and reared back, clawing at her eyes, and the Leprechaun ran, leaping through the air and grabbing his pot as Terra tried to recover. He landed and chuckled.
"That's the thing about wishes, me lassie! Alone, you get what YOU want…but with me here, near ME gold, it tends to care more what I want. But thank you for being so vague as well." The Leprechaun said, putting the pot down as Terra finally cleared her eyes, her entire form now soaked in red. "Now you match, Carrie!"
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Terra screamed, and rocks tore up through the floor and flew at the Leprechaun.
"Now, that's no way to talk about me dear mother." The Leprechaun said, as a wave of his hand produced his cane. He barely seemed to notice the rocks flying at him…as he touched the cane to the pool of dye that was almost at his feet. Electricity suddenly blasted through the cane, conducted through the liquid, and straight into Terra, and her rocks froze and then went haywire as she jerked, thrashed, and finally collapsed, smoking, as the Leprechaun removed his cane/taser from the pool and ducked, almost gracefully, over one last dagger of stone as it randomly flew past him.
(Writer's Note: And before anyone starts complaining that the Leprechaun has a taser in his cane, 1) In Leprechaun 4 he had a LIGHTSABER in his cane, 2) If you haven't noticed he seems to have magic powers that come and go as he needs them, and 3) You accepted razor sharp playing cards, giant plants, and quick change magician outfits, but you have trouble with a taser?)
"To steal me gold is a mortal sin, but to threaten it too? Where do I BEGIN?" The Leprechaun said. He raised his cane, and several hooks and blades sprouted from it. "Huh, works for me."
The Leprechaun headed for Terra.
Scalpel leapt through the air, swinging his sword. The Leprechaun turned to look at him.
"I said that was BORING!"
The glaive flew through the air, impaling itself through Scalpel and pinning him to the wall AGAIN. A chair, a table, a bookcase, and a lamp followed, slamming into the glaive and driving it deeper into him. Scalpel screamed/gurgled, and then blood poured from his mouth. He was REALLY beginning to hate his species' great resistance to blades, or more specifically, that said resistance didn't mean blades bounced off their bodies, but that their bodies could be sliced and diced again and again and they'd survive it…even IF it was agony.
And how had the glaive gotten back into the room after going through the ceiling? Beats me, I just work here.
"You fight quite well, so your horn I toot, but I've more tricks then a prostitute." The Leprechaun said.
"Hey, shorty!"
Will the Leprechaun learn his lesson and NOT turn around this time?
The Leprechaun turned around.
Guess not.
Though no one assaulted him this time. Instead, Robin stood in the doorway, his staff out and his face full of rage.
"You motherfucking little midget, do you know who you are FUCKING with? I should toss you like the dwarf you are, or maybe just inject some alcohol straight into your veins! Oh oh, I know! I'll take your gold and kept it for centuries just like the British Empire! You dig me, TINY?" Robin snarled, twirling his staff.
The Leprechaun's eyes seemed to almost light up in fury.
"You've done it now, if you get my notion! I'll strew your parts across the ocean!" The Leprechaun snarled, as he raised his staff.
"FUCKKKK YOU!!!!!!" Robin screamed, charging as he twirled his staff some more. The Leprechaun's rage cooled a bit as he figured it out: it was a suicidal last stand. Well, the insults made him angry, but he'd feel a lot better when he thwarted the costumed lad's last attack and used his power to twist him into a bunch of interesting shapes.
"You may carry a big stick laddy, but you forgot the part about speaking softly!" The Leprechaun said, as he began swinging back his arm. This blow would reduce the child's kneecap to powder.
And Robin struck…by hurling the staff straight up into the air.
"WHA?" The Leprechaun said, his eyes following it…
As Robin reached behind him, yanked the taped object off his back, and thrust it out, stabbing it deep into the Leprechaun's chest.
"AHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHH!" The Leprechaun screamed, as he looked down at what Robin had stuck into his chest.
"My friend Victor, I recalled, made his car up for Halloween. Tinted orange paneling, bat shaped windshield wipers, seats made up like tombstones…and a special stick shift. One that looked like it would belong in a graveyard…and one that just happened to be made of WROUGHT iron." Robin said. "But look on the bright side. At least we didn't steal your gold."
The iron gearshaft began to glow red as Robin let it go, and flames suddenly exploded from the pot of gold as the Leprechaun staggered back, feebly pawing at the makeshift but fatal dagger, as Robin ran over and picked up Terra, even as Starfire finished yanking Scalpel's glaive out, pulling the wounded alien over her shoulder as she followed Robin as he ran for it.
They were several steps out of the room when the explosion came, blowing them all off their feet and shattering every window on that tower level. Dust fell on the four.
Coughing, Robin got up, helping Terra as she muttered and tried to collect herself.
"You sure he won't come back from that?" Terra asked.
"This time, his luck ran out." Robin said.
The Candyman began to draw back his garment, to reveal the malevolent hive that lay within him, a buzzing nightmare…
And Cyborg reared up next to him and stabbed the fiery stake right into it.
The Candyman finally demonstrated a serious reaction besides anger, as he began to scream, the flames enveloping the bees as Cyborg flung himself away from the monster and next to Gauntlet.
"Is that going to be fatal?" Gauntlet asked.
"I don't know, but it sure makes him scream a lot!" Cyborg replied. "Let's add to his pain!"
"I'll up to that!" Gauntlet said, as he formed the yellow energy into his version of a bee stinger.
Beast Boy wasn't really aware of what was going on: he was trying to simultaneously stop the blood flow on his side and leg and get Raven to wake up. He thought he was making some progress: she now looked dazed more then catatonic.
"Rae? You there? Come on! Follow my hand!" Beast Boy said, slowly waving said hand back and forth. Raven's eyes didn't follow, but her head did shift, and she murmured something that might have been "Gar". That was enough, so he kept trying.
Even as Cyborg and Gauntlet swooped in, a blast of sonic energy and a Guantlet energy fist slamming into the flaming Candyman, driving him back…and also knocking out the flaming stake. Gauntlet's eyes widened.
"Oops."
"Gar…help…" Raven whispered.
"Raven! You heard me!"
"Help…"
"What do you need?"
"…ot…"
"Odds?" Beast Boy said.
"Hers."
"Her what?"
Then it hit him: Raven had said OTHERS. Which meant she wanted him to help Cyborg and Gauntlet…except Beast Boy had no idea how. How could he fight someone like the Candyman? He really wished Raven was more lucid. Was there any way to speed it up? Maybe he could go get something in her room, a spellbook or her mirror or…
And it hit him.
And Cyborg and Gauntlet hit the Candyman.
"ENOUGH."
The Candyman was gone.
Then both of Gauntlet's knees suddenly tore open, the Candyman's bloody hook ripping apart the muscle, and even before he could scream the side of Cyborg's neck suddenly tore open as well. Cyborg recoiled as fluids began pouring from it, even as Gauntlet fell, unable to stand any more.
"It is done children." The Candyman said as he reappeared, back to normal, as if the fiery stake had never happened. He began to walk towards the two, raising his hook for the final strikes. "Now…be my victims…"
"Candyman!"
Well, at least it wasn't "Hey", as the Candyman turned at his name being called. It was Beast Boy…and he had a mirror.
"You come out of this, right?" Beast Boy said. "Someone chants your name and you show up?"
"If you desire to be first child, all you must do is ask." The Candyman said, as he turned and started walking towards Beast Boy.
"Not really. You see, I wonder, if saying Candyman into a mirror five times brings you OUT…well…" Beast Boy said.
And he turned his back to the Candyman, even as he held the mirror above his head.
"Namydnac!"
Candyman again showed emotion: he looked perturbed.
"Namydnac!"
"What are you doing?"
"Namydnac!"
"Do not arouse my ire child!" The Candyman said as he quickened his pace.
"Namydnac!"
The Candyman was there, as he swung out his hook and prepared to rip Beast Boy's head from his body.
"NAMYDNAC!"
The Candyman froze in mid swing, his form stopping perfectly…and then cracks began to appear on his body…and then he shattered, his body splitting apart and turning into a thousand shards of crystal that floated down and vanished, leaving no trace of the terrible evil that had once been Daniel Robitaille.
Silence, as Beast Boy lowered the mirror and turned around, staring at where the Candyman had just been.
"……………I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WORKED!" He yelled. "How in the hell did that work? That has got to be the most ridiculous, nonsensical…"
"SMASH THE DAMN THING!" Cyborg yelled.
"Oh, right." Beast Boy said, and turned around as he reared back and shattered the mirror on a chair. He could have sworn he heard a faint scream, and then silence, as the mirror pieces fell around the chair. Beast Boy dropped the frame and headed over to Cyborg and Gauntlet.
"You ok guys?"
"I'll be fine." Cyborg said, as he finished rerouting his systems away from the Candyman slash. "I dunno about Rob though…"
"Why am I getting hurt? I'm the fun loving jokester! I NEVER get…" Gauntlet complained on the ground, holding his injured knees.
"In a horror film, that's pretty much a target on your back." Came a voice, as Raven walked up to the ground.
"Rae! You're all right!"
"I am now. The more the spell wears off, the more I can handle…which let me bounce back from that injury I healed for you Rob. Thanks for making sure you didn't get hurt again."
"Oh right miss "Sat out the whole fight"! I didn't see you coming over to play dodge the hook…"
"…yone there? Gu…" Came a sudden crackling voice, making everyone (well, save Gauntlet), jump. Then they realized it was coming from Cyborg.
"Fearless? I can hear you!" Cyborg said as he popped open his arm communicator.
"Cyborg! Go…e lounge! We're going th…haste!"
"The lounge?"
Nothing but static.
"You heard the man, let's go, and don't ANYONE wander off for ANY reason." Cyborg said, and the ground walked off.
A few seconds later, Cyborg came back, picked up Gauntlet, and carried him off as Gauntlet pestered Raven to fix him up.
"If we get to the lounge in one piece and find EVERYONE in one piece, then I'll do it."
"Oh, so now we're going to run into Luffy and his crew?"
"WHAT?"
"You said we need to find everyone in One Piece!"
Raven facevaulted.
Raven had expected a lot of things when she entered the lounge: she hadn't expected to find everyone there, waiting for them.
Everyone save one, that is.
"Where's Noel?" she asked.
"We couldn't raise him, and pardon me if I sound coldhearted Raven, but at the moment we have serious injuries." Robin said.
"No way Tim, Raven nearly killed herself a while ago, she can't…" Beast Boy protested.
"I can." Raven said quietly. "It will be hard, but it just looks like flesh wounds…I can handle flesh wounds…"
And she did, though it clearly exhausted her, as she tumbled into a chair when she was done.
"I am on break now. Anyone else has to go to a hospital." She gasped.
"If we can even leave the Tower." Beast Boy muttered.
"Don't jinx us." Gauntlet replied.
"Where is Savior? Robin, try and raise him again." Starfire asked. Robin did so. There was no reply.
"Oh no…aw no…" Cyborg said.
"This doesn't mean anything. You know damn well something's been messing with our communications." Robin said.
"But…" Scalpel said.
"Before anyone comes over here to comfort me, I don't think Noel's dead." Raven said. "If he was…I think I'd know…one way or another…so don't start drawing up the sympathy cards just yet."
"Agreed. We have more pressing matters." Robin said. "Now that we have our powers back, it begs the question: who's left? Everyone report what they saw."
The Titans started doing so, and they made it as far as Gauntlet's part in the Candyman battle when Robin interrupted him by freaking out.
"WHAT? HE PIERCED THE GAUNTLET?"
"Well yeah…"
"WHAT? Rob, you said that damn thing was virtually indestructible, an Old One artifact, something that would require a universe rending power to break! How did it get broken by the Candyman…and if it was pierced, where the hell is the hole?"
"This is a cartoon Robin! The second I went off screen, all damages to my supposedly unbreakable artifact disappeared!"
"WHAT?"
"Hey, it always worked for Wile. E. Coyote! In fact, I feel better then ever now!" Gauntlet said, as he dropped to the ground and began doing clapping push-ups.
The Titans stared.
"Nice retcon." Beast Boy finally said.
"Thanks!"
"Ok, before we break the forth wall any more…what else could be in the Tower?"
The Titans began running through possibilities…and quickly regretted it as Beast Boy's memory was still failing him in regards to what movies had been in the pile, and much like Savior earlier, they were forced to consider all possibilities…and as the list got longer and longer, the unease grew.
"Ok guys." Robin said at the end. "Despite all this, we have to think of business. This little event is so far confined to our Tower. Can it spread? Can Control Freak's remote cause an ever-widening effect? Unlike us, normal people would have no chance if THEIR films start coming to life, especially if it's something like Godzilla or Starship Troopers."
"Or one of the Barney videos." Gauntlet suggested.
"Ugh! Heaven forfend." Raven replied.
"Right, but all joking aside…guys, I don't know what's coming next, but I know this: we can HANDLE it. But we HAVE to STAY TOGETHER."
"Agreed." Was the general chorus.
"Ok then. Whatever happens, we stay together. No matter WHAT." Robin said, as he put out his hand. All the others joined him.
"Titans, together!" Robin said.
"Together!" Everyone replied.
And then the lights went out, plunging the room into utter blackness.
The illumination returned a few seconds later, and Robin's eyes went as wide as saucers.
The lounge was empty.
He was alone.
And elsewhere…
"HA HA HA HA HAAA!"