Title: Fallen Wings, Haunted dreams
By: Shinigami Liliz Black
Summary: What if the thing you hate the most turn to be the thing you love the most?
Rating: PG-13
Category: Romance/Angst
Status: UNBETAED, Sorry for the errors
Notes: Song 'Everytime' from Britney Spears. It was perfect for this situation. Carpe Retractus is a spell used by Ron on the game to attract things or himself to things. (Like spiderman)
Chapter Two: The Song of Sorry; A pure revelation
He stared horrified at his friend. "MIONE!"
"Don't start," she warned as she fixed her dinning table, "We're having a party and you'll be going with Malfoy."
"But Mione!" he whined.
"I said it Harry Potter! You will assist with your date!"
"People will be coming!" he hissed. "They don't-"
"They do know, and there's nothing wrong with being gay Harry." Harry crossed his arms and slumped back into the sofa.
"It is not fair."
"It is, I'm giving you a chance to explain things to Draco," she pointed out, staring intently into the raven man's emerald eyes.
"I don't want to," he replied.
"Don't be ignorant!" she exclaimed rolling her eyes, "People change Harry! Now go and fetch Draco." Harry heard small pops on the kitchen and guessed the people were arriving...
He pulled off the car, shaking the previous conversation of Hermione. Damn why can the witch convince him so easily? He hated it.
Harry was depressed, not because he will expose his real sexuality but the thought to play a date with Draco. He knows it was wrong, and he should tell the blond, but he didn't have the guts to. He didn't want the blond to scream all over him by his little game.
He knocked nervously at the blonde's apartment with a horrible tight feeling at the pit of his stomach. The voice of the blond called him softly to enter, making his throat tight and dry.
As he did so, he was met with a simple, yet decorated apartment with floating candles high at the ceiling, wizardry objects around him along a small kitchen, followed beside a living room beside the sliding crystal doors of the balcony and three doors leading to the bathroom, closet and his own bedroom.
Draco came out from one of them as Harry closed the door behind him. "Nice," he murmured. Draco was fastening his watch as he approached Harry.
"Thanks," he mumbled and planted a quick kiss on his lips. Harry stared at the blonde's nice, wet, pale bare chest. How the nipple stood out at wetness and the cold of the room. Draco suppresses a shudder as he finished fastening the watch and pulled on his Armani white polo.
"Is something wrong?" he asked noticing Harry oogling at him as he buttoned his polo. The raven man shook his head side to side, still unable to rip his eyes off; not only his shirt was unfastened but his trousers were halfway unzipped. Draco grinned and wrapped his arms around the raven man and sealed his lips into his, into a passionate lustful kiss. Harry's inside froze, he didn't knew what to do, how to react but as always his hormones have their little ways to betray him and suddenly kick in, returning the kiss, with the searing desire to feel more. Draco seems to have moaned into his mouth sending shiver down his spine and abdomen. It was perfect, just...
Draco broke the kiss, his lips red and pinky, and purred, "Best get dress."
Harry's hand flew up to his face in frustration as Draco turned his back to him. Oh this is far more difficult that it sounds. Too difficult...
"Are you sure?"
"Yes I'm sure Draco I won't get mad."
"Really, really?" the blonde asked, with puppy eyes as he held Seamus hand's.
"You can go Draco, I won't get mad." Harry sighed covering his face as Draco left his seat with Seamus into the dance floor Hermione conjured. Everything was getting horrible.
Beside him, someone slumped down into the sofa as he burry his face on his hands, begging for the earth to swallow him. "What's up with the tragic face?"
"What now, Mione?"
"Eh? I'm hurt!" Harry turned to the source, to find Ron raising his red eyebrows at him. The red head was taller as always, about 6'3 with messy red hair, stunning hazel eyes and freckled face.
"I thought-"
"Nah, don't worry mate," Ron said cheerfully and hand him down a Smirnoff. "Pick up the habit of Muggle drinks." Ron leaned over and rested his forearms on his knees, taking a huge gulp of his drink.
"I heard about you and Malfoy-" Harry groaned, automatically rubbing his hands on his temples. "What?"
"Malfoy," Harry mumbled, "He doesn't know, but it's all a lie." Ron furrowed his eyebrows confusedly.
"I don't-"
"I started dating him thinking he would date me for fun or revenge but little by little..."
"You were wrong," Ron finished.
"I can't sleep peacefully, knowing this Ron. I'm lying to him, I don't love him!" Ron placed his hand on the raven man's shoulder.
"Uh Harry," he said shaking his shoulder slightly.
"I don't know how to tell- What Ron!" The red head gesture with his gaze to look ahead but as Harry did, the entire world went down with him.
Draco's expression was a painful sight to bear. His silver eyes swirl with emotions, realization, anger, loathe; all together. In seconds it stop, his eyes staring at him emotionless, looking delicate and crystalline. "Draco."
The blond man turned and dashed to the nearest exit but Harry was fast and grasped his forearm. "Draco wait-"
A full blow came; the pale hand slapping him across the face with a loathing angering expression, with out saying a word; it was not needed, Harry could read it on his eyes. He, on the other hand was speechless as the party stopped around them, watching the sudden scene; the world stopped around them and the blonde's final glare, made him resume his walking.
Harry turned to look at Ron for help. The red head rolled his eyes and hissed out "Go!"
He managed to catch up with the blonde around the shiny smiling moon and the vast starry night. His voice echoed, calling softly at the blonde's name, "Draco, please let me-"
Abruptly, the blonde man turned, his loud outburst exploding through the night, "I gave you my trust!"
"Draco-"
"Everything! I thought things were perfect!"
"I thought-"
"You thought but you never thought about me! All those words, all those kisses are lies, bloody lies from you!" The blonde's body was shaking all over as his silver eyes watering, blazing with salty tears; he tried to hide with his glare.
"I gave you my heart," he hissed a bit hoarsely, "I gave in everything to love you and you played like a bloody catch that snitch game."
With a rapid turn, the blond was running down the street drowning into the dim darkness and fading away. Harry's knees hit the ground like a cold dungeon cell, he felt guilty, dirty, and shameful that for one, he received love, and played with it, in a painfully sad way.
Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?
Live is not the same. The pressure and guiltiness of my heart is so strong...
"Harry?" The raven man did not dare to look as the clever witch place a warm mug of tea in front of him, dazing off, feeling every breath he take to be heavier and difficult each turn.
"I'm ok, I'm ok," he keeps murmuring, worrying Hermione far than she was.
It has been a week after Harry's break up with Draco. The raven man looked like shit. His shirt were completely unbuttoned, his cloak hanging halfway his shoulders, as his glasses dangle from the tip of his nose, and his emerald eyes were empty, dim, looking at the wall ahead.
"Drink your tea," Hermione said. The raven man stood up and left the place speechless, walking slowly, lost into a painful world of guilt, memories...
"You're not the Harry I know," Hermione whispered biting her lips, holding the tears coming.
Memories are so painful. Why do I have to remember? This is madness...
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby
He looked at his laptop, untouched, looking as same he left her weeks ago. He was sitting on his bed, not bothering to undress, drowning...
Everything was perfect, Just perfect...
I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy
"Potter."
He snapped his head to his instructor. The huge, scared, long hair wizard of Mad Eye Moody growled at the lack of response from the raven man. His magical eye rolled disgustingly on his eyelid.
"Shall we start our lesson?" He nodded slowly, removing his wand from his pocket. "We will be using Carpe Retractus for defensive movement."
Harry did not bother to say yes. His heartless eyes, his mind, himself were not there...
"Carpe Retractus!" The long purple robe grasped him from his left foot knocking him flat on his back. His wand flew off his hand, trying to suppress the exploding pain at the back of his head. He deserves it...
"You ok?" Moody asked as Harry slowly stand up, balancing his body upright completely. His hands grasped his scar prickling, and ruffled his hair.
"I'm ok, I'm ok," he mumbled summoning his wand.
"Ready?" Moody shouted the spell as once again knocked the raven man to the floor, this time worst than before. "You're not concentrating Potter! I can't train with you daydreaming."
"Forgive me," he whispered, the words giving him tight feelings on his throat and a horrible pain on his head.
"I'm dismissing this training lesson," Moody said grumpily. "Call when you're feeling up to it."
Moody Disapparated as Harry sat solitarily drawing his knees against his chest as the wind blew softly around the small yard...
And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
"What's your problem sir?" the lady behind the counter asked.
"Yes I got a bit of a split up head," he mumbled.
"Cause?"
"Training..."
"Follow me." He followed the witch into the Ground Floor. "Since you'll not need a doctor, an assistant will check you."
Harry nodded dazedly barely listening to her words. She let him in on a white blue ward and closed the door behind him. The raven man removed his glasses and buried his face on his hands despise the blood running down his neck.
He felt the door open and a slight gasp. Harry turned to look at the source when he remembered he did not have his glasses on. As he reached for them, they slipped down to the floor. Embarrassed, he continued to look at the blurry shape making his way towards him.
"I got a smack on my head and I can't stop the bleeding." The figure chuckled and pointed his wand at him.
"Jiva," he murmured under his breath. The pain was gone and Harry sighed on relief. The figure pressed something against his hands; it was his glasses.
"Thank you," he said as he placed his glasses but the last thing he saw was the cold stare of his ex-lover and in a swift he was gone into the corridor outside.
"Will you go out with me?" He spilled the content of his drinks all over the carpet of his living room.
"WHAT?"
"Oh sorry I-" The brunette regretted embarrassed.
"What did you say?"
"Will you go out with me?"
"Seamus, I'm on the middle of a break down!" Harry exclaimed.
"At least, can I kiss you?" he asked wriggling his fingers nervously.
Harry opened and closed his mouth...Would it be the same?
Seamus stood up, and leaned over, brushing his lips against the raven man. He expected to be electrifying, with need, desire, passion but none came to what he felt with Seamus's lips...
Nothing...
I don't know why, but I can't stop the feelings now...
Tears rolled down his cheeks, his emerald eyes shining tearfully...
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry
I can't stop thinking...
Ohhhh
It's not the same...
At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away
His eyes, his lips, his face, his skin... everything is in me... I can't take it off now...
Now that I feel guilty of what I have done...
And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
Forgive me... I guess....
He buried his face on his hands...
I need you...
Everything was so...so desperate. His hands didn't stop shaking on his empty pockets. He bit his lips, getting nervous, as he stared at the door of the blonde's apartment. It's only a door standing in our way...
Harry was torn between busting in and running away from all this chaos and continues grieving his errors, but his heart tells no lies. This is the moment; he needed the blonde to continue on. It was him who brings him smiles and joy after all this final war ended. Without the blonde, Harry will never be the same; and he didn't want things to be different.
It seems like an eternity when his hand turned the knob...
The door swung open slowly at his touch. He tried to open his mouth but couldn't find the words. Finally, he settled with knocking the opened door.
"Come in, it's unlocked!" the blonde's voice called and his heart skipped a beat." I'm on my room." He opened the door where the voice came from and saw him folding clothes on his bed...
He was the same. Everything from him was still intact.
His white blonde hair...
His silver eyes...
His pale yet radiant skin...
The pink of his lips...
The world stopped around them as the silver eyes land on his, questioning, the mask of indifference dropping suddenly...
In instinct, Draco drew his wand out but Harry was fast and dodged the incantation easily thanks to his Auror training. Harry approximate the blonde slowly as spell spread around the room. Draco was trying to avoid him. He did not want him near.
In was when Draco raised his wand and Harry seized the opportunity to grasp his wrist and held the wand away from him. He pushed the blonde against the nearest wall, his wand hand above his head and his other hand pinned behind him.
"What are you looking for Potter?" His voice hit Harry like a buckle of ice water.
"Look at me," Harry whispered hoarsely.
"I have nothing to look at," he growled struggling to get free.
"Draco stop it."
"You, you-"
"You can kill me, torture me but before hear me out," Harry whispered. He leaned over until his lips were inches away from Draco earlobe. "I thought this was all a game for you so I decided to play the same position."
"Then you showed me many sides I didn't know, I didn't expect from you and you kiss me. I will be honest; it was my first kiss man to man. I thought I would feel nothing but everything keeps changing. You alter me, lust me, swept me and I was unaware of it."
"Little by little I observed your smile, your sparkling eyes, how you would bend over laughing, or how heavy your breath was against my lips; is when I realize this was all real, it was not plotted. I was pained, to know this so I lie, for not making you suffer." The wand on Draco's hand fell off to the floor as Harry rest his chin on his shoulder, their chest brushing.
"When you found out, I was terrified of you reaction, of your words, how you ran off, telling me you give in everything to love me, and yet I used you. Hell broke loose into my life. I was guilty, dirty, and shameful of my acts. Somebody loved me and I was too arrogant to see it.
"The days of trauma and depression angst me, tire me. I barely eat, talk, and walk; I was useless, it was not the same. Seamus popped in one day, and persuaded me to kiss him. When he did I felt nothing, absolutely nothing."
"Why are you-" Draco tried to ask but Harry's deep talking breath and hoarsely cleaning throat interrupted him.
"I realize it was you. You make me feel happy, complete; you make me feel what I dream, I want, I desire. I couldn't wake up and smile another day without you. I couldn't rip you off; why? Why, If I didn't love you?
"A mutual feeling grew and turned into pure attraction. I need you, I need you to continue being me, be Harry." He push himself away enough to look at the blonde face. He was in shock staring now at his green orbs, his silver eyes swirling emotionally sad.
Harry's green orbs were shinning with tears, as they cascade down his cheek endless. His voice was barely hearable but Draco could make the words. "Please forgive me." The raven man broke down crying, falling to his knees weakly, sobbing, letting the tears soak the carpet his fingers were gripping. Draco felt his eyes watering, no one, never had talk to him like that, no one had cried for his forgiveness. The sight of the raven man was too painful...
"Harry," he whispered, kneeling over and smoothing the raven's shoulder, "Look at me." Harry raised his head, his green orbs soaked and red, sobbing slightly. "I forgive you."
Harry smiled weakly through the tears and his hand grip the blonde's chest desperately. Draco held him like there was no tomorrow, rubbing his back softly. " You-" Harry tried to said but Draco pressed his lips against his. He responded immediately and relaxed at the blonde's soft caress of his tongue on his mouth. Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's waist pressing their bodies together.
Draco broke the kiss and stood up, helping the other man. "There's nothing more to talk about. Lets enjoy each other's company." Harry nodded weakly, wiping the tears and smiling. Draco sat down on the bed and removed his shirt before laying flat on his back. "Come."
Harry took off his jean jacket and lay down beside him, resting his head on the blonde's shoulder. The blonde's hand reached for Harry messy untangled locks, smoothing them; Harry's arm snaked his way around Draco's waist.
Harry took the opportunity to contemplate, for minutes, the blonde staring peacefully at the roof, still smoothing his hair, as the pale eyelashes dropped slowly, His white blonde long hair fit perfectly beneath him, like golden silky blankets, combining with his pale radiant skin, and his defined muscles.
Harry let his own eyelashes drop slowly and one new truth growing into his mind. He fell in love...
He rested his head on the raven man's shoulder, breathing heavily, as he gripped the raven man's waist, gritting his teeth. Harry on the other hand was digging his nail on the back of Draco's shoulder gripping him fiercely closer, a painful pleasurable moan coming from his throat abruptly at every move Draco made.
"Do you want me to stop?" Harry gritted his teeth painfully and shook his head. "Relax, relax." Harry's eyes shined with uneasy tears, shaking his head, tension from all the pressure and tight horrible feeling of Draco's groin inside him.
"I don't want to hurt you."
"I can't help it, it hurts!"
"It's your first time. Maybe we should do it-"
"No," Harry breathed out, "I made you wait so long for this."
"But-"
"Keep going," he said urgently. Draco finally manage to enter him fully, and stopping for Harry to take his breath. As he did so, Draco drew Harry legs to his shoulder earning a wince from the raven man.
"Are you ready?"
"Yes," His rhythm became slow and gentle, listening how Harry painfully yet pleasurably moans at his moves.
"This is-"
"So-" Harry said and let out a loud moan, sending Draco to the edge.
"Perfect," Draco breathed out, holding himself. "Harry," he called through gritted teeth.
"What?"
"Can I come in you?" Harry nodded. Draco's speed intensified hitting Harry's prostate sending the other man to the edge as well. It didn't pass long when Draco climaxed that Harry did as well.
Draco exhaust slumped down into the raven man after he moved his legs out. Harry smile and hugged him closely, smoothing his wet white blonde hair.
"Draco."
"Mhmm?"
"I know it's fast but, will you marry me?" There was a silence around the room as Harry wait for an answer.
"I guess I'll take the risk," he replied, raising his head. Harry smile at him, both silver and green orbs swirling into one being. Draco's lips pressed against Harry's passionately, giving his heart to it.
They were already one being sharing the same dreams and same wings...
THE END
Notes: Few points I'll like to make. No Sequel sorry!
Harry was not in love with Draco the entire story he fell in when he contemplate the sight of the blonde.
Harry was not depressed by his breakup with Draco but what he did to the blonde and made him feel. He was feeling guilty.
The reason I place the scene of Harry meeting Draco at St. Mungus was to fit the song a bit. How Draco can go on so easily like nothing happen between them when Harry was stressing out at all this problem. The song did not inspire this story, it happens to come in while I was writing the scene where Draco slapped Harry. My friend gave me the song and I like it and add it to the story.
The reason Seamus asks Harry to kiss him is a way for Harry to find out his feelings for the blond. Harry tried to deal with his life like Draco did, like nothing happen but couldn't.