That sweet sound
Of days passed
Always reminds me."
Noir: "Canta Per Me"
(My translation from Italian)
Recommended Music:
A talk—"Useless Chatting"
Dolphin—"Bear"
Distracted soul—"Bridge 06"
Chase—"Magic and Sword"
Acrophobia/Falling—"Canta Per Me," Japanese or Fiction versions
Fiction
Track 06: "Canta Per Me"
The days and weeks to come saw more and more of Koichi and Alice together, much to the wry amusement of both Dolphin and Koji. There was still no indication that Alice returned Koichi's albeit embarrassed affections, but it was clear that she did enjoy his company, which may or may not have meant anything. But that alone was still good enough, and they continued to spend time together outside of anything work-related, such as a meeting at a local fast food place for some fries.
Rather than sitting inside the restaurant, they took their food out to a table shaded by a large umbrella. It was just too warm inside the building, so the cold wind outdoors was a relief for them.
"You know we're going to be complaining how cold we are soon, right?" Koichi asked.
"Better that we're out here. It gives us a chance to talk without anyone overhearing things." It seemed that like Tomoko Kimura, Alice McCoy also had her own way of referring to anything in relation to the Digital World.
"Like what?"
"Like what's been troubling you for so long." Koichi blinked and stared at her in surprise. "I can tell Koji knows what's going on, but I won't force him to violate that sacred bond of trust brothers have. My grandfather and I have both noticed there's something bothering you. It's been bothering you since the day we met, but it's been worse since Jeri attacked Koji."
He stared down at his food, as he was wont to do when he had any type of confession or explanation to make. The grease from the French fries had stained the napkin they were placed on, and the salt they were seasoned with sparkled in the afternoon sun. He could smell the warm tomato scent of the ketchup Alice had on hers. Cars whizzed past them and stopped when traffic lights changed. People walked by aimlessly, chattering pointlessly, never once noticing the two children seated in the shadows. Never did they notice, nor did they suspect that these young people were the last hope for saving the world. And if they did, they'd never believe it. Why should they? These children defied all logic passed down from old legends and fairytales. Why would great heroes hide from the light, when the heroes before always embraced it?
"Well?" Alice pressed. By now, Koichi knew that she would persist even longer than Koji, who at least gave up before a month or so passed.
"Ever since I stopped being Duskmon, I've had nightmares. Most of these—nearly all of these—revolve around Koji dying. Lately though, I've been the killer. And I've told him, yeah, so that eased them a bit. But what's weird is this: Koji and I are usually able to feel each other's pain. He described it best by saying that when one of us suffers, so does the other. But—I don't know when this started; maybe even before Jeri came—I began having trouble feeling that from him. I had no idea he was pulled to the Digital World, and I was startled when he said that he was having the memory bursts in the afternoon, instead of at night like I thought. It's like he's being pulled away slowly, and I don't think even he can stop it."
"Hmm," Alice commented after a while. Was this the personal word for all the McCoys when it came to deeply reflecting upon something? "I'm not really sure what to say. I'm just a Messenger, not a Warrior or a Tamer, so I can't really guess anything. But I have to agree that this is disturbing—maybe not for the same reasons you think it is, but it's definitely a hint that something's not right. But it may not be anything serious; it could just have to do with his immune system being weaker. He would have to put more energy into staying healthy."
"Yeah, that's probably it," Koichi agreed, managing to force down some fries. That had to be the answer. It made the most sense. Of course it was only Koji's weakened immune system! This was no more than a cold plaguing the psychological connection between the twins.
Then why did it seem even less comforting than before?
-------
The chilly December air whipped at Koji as he walked through his neighborhood. He'd only recently gotten over the worst of his cold, so his father and stepmother asked him not to stray too far when he offered to walk the dog. Akemi was the only chance he had of escaping the confines of his room.
He inhaled a relatively deep breath, trying unsuccessfully not to cough when the bitterly cold wind ravaged his throat with its searing kiss. Akemi stopped and began barking at him, as though asking her master if he was all right. Another hand took his and placed several cough drops in it.
"Take one of these," Dolphin's familiar voice warned once Koji's coughing fit was under control. He wheeled himself closer while Koji tried to hold on to Akemi's leash. "The worst thing about the winter—or even the pre-winter—is the cold, dry air. It steals the moisture from your breath, making you cough more. So I always carry around plenty of cough drops to help replace it. Candy works too, but the medicine in cough drops provides more moisture."
Koji placed a honey lemon cough drop in his mouth and felt the vapors of sharp-tasting medication flow back into his throat. The cold air around him was warmed with help from the moisture provided and no longer blistered his throat and lungs. "Thanks," he replied. "But what are you doing here?"
"Just looking for someone willing to listen to an old man's rambling for a little while. You interested? You can even call it helping the elderly, if you want."
Koji shrugged. "All right."
They wandered along the streets for a while with Koji constantly trying to keep Akemi under control. Every little thing that crossed their path was something for her to bark at or chase, and the interruptions made it more and more difficult for Dolphin to get into any actual conversation. Finally, they gave up and headed back to Koji's house, where Dolphin took his opportunity to speak outside the fence.
"From what I've seen of the Tamers and of you and Koichi, it's easier to save the world than it is to grow up," he observed. "You've all grown into being yourselves, but you have trouble adjusting that to real life. And if there's anyone who's noticed your changes the most, it's your parents."
"I've changed a lot, all right," Koji agreed, momentarily contemplating his improved relations with his family members. "But some people haven't at all." The comment was an accident, brought about by his impatience with his brother and father. But it wasn't something he could unsay, and it wasn't something that Dolphin could ignore.
"Maybe it's not that they haven't changed as much as it's that they're trying to slow the change," he suggested. "Or they realize that there are things that can't be changed, and it's something they don't want to be reminded of. A wise man once confided in me that 'the past isn't a slate we can just wipe clean again and reuse. It's more like a river, branching into many possible futures.'" He paused for a moment to look at the boy. "Your dad said that when we met once. I asked him if he and Koichi got along well because I never saw them near each other."
"They have a fear of each other," Koji explained.
"I learned that much. But your father explained to me that it's hard for him to even try to meet Koichi because he's afraid of what to expect, not so much that he's afraid of the person himself. My guess is Koichi is the same way."
"That's a lot like what Satomi told me."
"I'm not surprised. But it's also not surprising that you have trouble understanding this. You grew up wanting to know everything you could about your family, so you were able to forgive Koichi in a way that he's still surprised by. But Koichi already knew there was a divorce, so he probably thought that his father essentially abandoned him. Even when he learned of you, he still was upset at knowing that he wasn't allowed to be part of that family. He knew it was the law that prevented it, but it still hurt him. He may be afraid that it's not just the law that's in the way, but his father's own choice."
"But Dad would never do that!"
"You know that, and so do others in your family. But Koichi's not sure. And your father isn't sure of what Koichi wants. So far, only you've brought the issue of visitation rights up, forcing your parents to voluntarily allow visitation rights and temporary joint custody—but only in the most extreme of emergencies because actual joint custody is still illegal."
Koji was quiet for a moment, recalling the day in court when the judges looked at him with perplexed faces. "Koichi was silent for the most part that day. I think he only agreed to back me up because he didn't want me to have to break my promise."
"I won't lie to you, Koji," Dolphin confided, "the law in Japan is wrong. In America, it's perfectly common for there to be joint custody and visitation rights, but it's almost unheard of here. That's why Japan's the number two destination for parental abduction, second only to Mexico. And it's unfair that even when visitation rights are agreed upon, like with your parents, they don't get enforced. Your parents recognize though that it's all right to break tradition if the need is so great. And it is."
"Koichi and I never would have ended up fighting each other in the Digital World if not for this damn law." He didn't care that it was impolite to swear in front of an adult. The idea that a simple change in his country's laws would have prevented some of the atrocities he'd faced was enough to make him curse rapidly and passionately before even Ophanimon.
"It's not the law that's holding Koichi and your dad from meeting, remember. It's their fear. But Koichi can see that you've turned out to be a good person under your father's care, and your father knows that you and Koichi are closer than you'd be even without the divorce, so they'll eventually be able to conquer those old fears. And you keep pushing them to it. You're probably the only evidence that there's no truth to their anxiety."
"Thanks. I'll remember that."
"No problem. But all that explaining suddenly made me crave something sweet. Let's see if we can find Alice and Koichi so we can get something. And if we can't find them, we'll just get it anyway." Koji blinked in surprise and followed, this time leaving Akemi at home. Dolphin may have been a bit of a strange old man, but he did provide some important commentary that let Koji know that he wasn't the only person in Japan that hated the way things were. And he insisted that Koji kept trying to heal the rift in his family. He was the only one who honestly seemed to believe that there was a chance of succeeding.
He's kind of weird, but I like him, Koji decided. It was good to have another friend like Satomi, someone older and more schooled in the ways of the world, though it was surprising for him to hear himself admit that. It's odd how so many things are changing, he added. But unlike most people, he found that he liked these changes. The future was suddenly starting to look a lot brighter, he noticed as he forced down a cough that threatened to rip open his chest cavity. It was going to be interesting to grow up and watch it unfold.
-------
Koichi pulled his coat closely around him, as though feeling a chill no others could. He and Alice were currently walking home in silence, having finished their French fries not long before. His talk with her had only barely calmed his fears, but it had instilled a small sense of urgency that he had to talk over this subject more thoroughly with his twin. Maybe then they could find an answer and he could sleep soundly at night.
"Are you still worried?" Alice questioned. He nodded. "I can't promise that it'll be all right. God knows I've found everything that can possibly go wrong in my life. And I can't pray for your sake—I'm not sure any god will listen to such a heathen like me. But I can suggest to Koji that he see a doctor or something, so you won't have to suffer the embarrassment of revealing your fears to him."
His expression brightened more than it had in several days. "Will you really?" She nodded in response, and he regained control of his emotions long enough to remember that this was going to be a big favor. "I shouldn't ask you to, but Koji doesn't want me to worry about him. I think he thinks he's caused me enough pain, with me going through everything in the Digital World just because I wanted to meet him. But he'll probably listen to you or Dolphin if either of you points out that something's wrong."
"I'll find out what's wrong if you can't," she promised. "Think of it as a way of me repaying you for all you've done for me?"
He blinked. "For the cross?"
She shook her head. "Both you and Koji are the first close friends I've ever had. I wasn't even very close to the Tamers, and even less so when my suspicions about Jeri proved to be right. You two are the first people aside from my grandfather that I can speak to freely, ever since Dobermon died." He nodded once at the uncomfortable silence that ensued. Aside from his grandmother, no one else he cared about had died. He couldn't imagine having lived a life like Alice had, where nearly everyone she loved had gone. He didn't want to imagine it.
He shielded his eyes with a hand and glanced up at the sky, prepared to warn his friend of the approaching shower when a darting figure caught his attention. The silhouette flitted from rooftop to rooftop, unnoticed by all save the boy.
"What is it?" Alice questioned.
"Jeri."
Either instinct or a temporary loss of sanity propelled him forward, forcing him running through unfortunate crowds at a speed he didn't know he could attain. Had he the sense to look to the side, he'd have noticed his brother standing right next to him for an instant, watching confusedly while he sped down the sidewalk. But his vision was focused on Katou's retreating form, dashing endlessly in the clouded heavens. He thought he heard someone call his name from far in the distance, but he wasn't sure until Alice ran up to confirm it.
"You ran past Koji back there," she informed. "Didn't you notice him calling you?"
Tunnel vision, he thought. Koji was not going to be particularly happy with him about this. "I didn't actually. I heard him a little, but I didn't realize it was him. My mind was on other things."
"You can slow down a little. We can't catch her like this anyway. We might as well let her go this time."
Koichi couldn't. Every second wasted was another chance for the D-Reaper-within-Jeri to inch closer and closer to spreading worldwide chaos in a world that had already been destroyed once. He had been dead and unable to help prevent the first disaster; he was now alive and would prevent the second.
That instinct/insanity took control again, and he found himself suddenly racing up a flight of stairs to the roof of another building, his acrophobia suddenly nonexistent. He had no time to wonder how he'd managed to get himself from the sidewalk to the roof of another building with Alice screaming for him to turn back, and if he did, it wouldn't matter. Somehow, he'd caught up to Jeri.
She stood on the ledge of the building adjacent to him and turned around to look at him with her dreadful blank eyes. She spoke, but the howling wind stole her voice. But with a superhuman ability he hadn't had before, Koichi was able to read her lips:
"It is all inevitable in the end. Your fears will be realized sooner or later, by my hands or another's." She turned away, prepared to exit.
"What do you mean?" he shouted in return. She turned her head and spoke one voiceless word:
"Destiny."
The hated word, the odious philosophy. That was not an answer he could accept. Koichi was about to step forward—forgetting that he was atop a several-story tall office building—and felt the world lurching below him. He was in that moment aware of his situation, that the wind was throwing his balance into the hands of all the gods that had ever existed. He fell onto his right knee, feeling a sharp pain as he gripped the edge of the roof, cursing the architect and inspectors who had failed to see the significance of placing a fence up to prevent anyone from falling. His apartment had one, and his school had one, so why didn't this building have one too?
He chanced a look down, knowing that if he survived this, his fear of heights was going to worsen a lot more if he survived. A small crowd of people had gathered upon noticing the children atop the roof. And though he couldn't see too clearly from the distance, he thought he spotted his brother in the audience, watching in desperation, his face dead white. Koichi was fortunate that another wave of vertigo crashed over him with the wind's thrashing, trying to drown him in fear until he lost his hold and plummeted to the ground below. He would have lost heart even more if he'd managed to focus his eyes on Koji's fearful expression, one that had only once been present on the former Warrior of Light's face, and it had been during the heart-wrenching discovery of Koichi's condition in the hospital. Fortunate he was though that when he did fall off the raised ledge, he landed on the lower part of the roof.
Alice had managed to reach him at this moment and tried to help him stand while he was bent over on his hands and knees, the appendages quaking in terror as his insides twisted and rearranged in gruesome designs that tried to force their contents up. But he was too sick to even vomit. And when Alice escorted him downstairs, he felt as if the wind still controlled his destiny. He gripped the banisters and Alice's arm desperately, afraid of falling still.
He reached the sweet firm earth once again, still shaking from fear. Strangers offered comfort as much as they could before allowing the traumatized boy and his companion to walk to their respective family members. Koichi could barely remember his brother's face during all this: a terrible mixture of fear, relief, and a hint of anger. But he knew that Koji had cried for a little bit when they embraced. He could hear the incriminating unsteadiness of tears in his voice as he whispered, "You idiot. You idiot."
-------
Koji sighed as he sat on the floor of the terrace outside his window. He leaned against the sturdy wall of the balcony as he reflected on all that had occurred that day, trying his hardest to banish the images of his brother's near fall. But it always returned to him, and he could not help but wonder about Jeri's actions. She had seemed unable to kill when he spoke to her. Yet she threw Koichi into danger like that, caring not when he lost his footing and nearly slipped completely. Was the D-Reaper all that remained of her now?
"I don't think so," he commented to only the sky.
A gray cloud passed overhead, eclipsing the sun. Almost as though cued by the loss of light, Koji's lungs seemed to harden. He'd felt out of breath from running after Koichi earlier, but now he felt like he couldn't get any air into his body. He stood up quickly and forced himself to cough, forcing whatever that horrible breathlessness was to leave him. Pink-tinged phlegm appeared on his hands from the coughing, and he bent over as he tried to breathe normally again. But something was wrong… Why had he leaned over the balcony? Why couldn't he think straight? Why was it so hard to take in air? The ground suddenly came up to meet him.
At least, the cloud unveiled the sun, which shone on the still form of a young boy who was being carried away on a stretcher to an ambulance while his father and stepmother had to stand by with helpless tears of uncertainty.
Information on the divorce laws is the same as it is in the Kousei fic "All the Fears You Hold So Dear": from —mainly in the article "Divorced From Their Children: In Japan, Foreign Fathers Have Few Custody Options" by Doug Stone and Sachiko Sakamaki from the Washington Post. And information over Koji's condition is still classified. And regarding the "Canta Per Me" versions, I listened to the original version and I didn't find that it fit the scenes as well as the softly sung Japanese version or the passionate Fiction interpretation. Plus, in Fiction, the instrumentals were a lot better. Anyway, you all know what I expect in your reviews. Here's to the hope that the next chapters will be good! Till then.