I Hate Reality TV

Do We Have to Do This?

Kiyami: I had so much trouble with the personality quirks. Originally this was going to be for Gravitation, but I kept on thinking of Sengoku streaking –cough- and the last part of the fanfic. You'll find out more about what type of personality each person was given in the next chapter.

Ugh...Something messed up and the file got corrupted. Sorry if something's missing.

Sorry if you've wanted to see some characters from other teams, but I'm in the 60 area of the episodes. Perhaps later on I'll add on other teams. Anyway suggestions are welcomed.

Submit your favorite pairing and I might do more of that. I have trouble deciding between MomoRyo or TezuRyo.

I really don't hate reality TV shows, but the thought that people might make up stuff when they're on camera just popped into my head one day. No offense to ANYONE!

Mmmyes...I know...Exaggeration is my friend.

Dedications: Reviewers especially to Jiko Hitasura. And YOU! Muffin Ninja! My bestest imaginary friend!

Disclaimer: I don't own Tennis no Oujisama.

Ryoma wanted to straggle and force pitcher after pitcher of Inui juice down whoever's throat that volunteered them for this. It was embarrassing and an invasion of his privacy along with many others. The other day television producers had arrived at their school. They were interested in having a tennis team above all things to be on their next new show.

It was horrible. Everyone had expected Hyotei be chosen, but for some freakish reason Seigaku was. Most of the team thought it would be a disaster while the remainder found a sick pleasure in watching the other teammates gape in horror of the news. They were mainly Fuji and Inui.

Actually it wasn't entirely made up of Seigaku. Some other members from different tennis clubs would be joining them. They would all be forced to live in one strange mansion and be the laughing stock of the tennis community.

Everyone was sure Atobe would be there and it would definitely boost his ego tenfold. Shinji from Fudomine would represent his club while Yuuta was forced to go in St. Rudy's place. And finally was Sengoku of Yamabuki. There was relief among everyone that it wasn't the psychotic Akutsu.

"Fuji-senpai, do we have to do this?" Ryoma grumbled at the nearest person while he shouldered a duffle bag filled with his stuff.

"I think it'll be fun." Fuji replied while picking up two suitcases. If he had his eyes open they would see a very mischievous look in his eyes. There would definitely be some fun family bonding.

"It will be an excellent time to update my journals with newer information." Inui suddenly said. He had bought at least five books for the experience and knew some interesting things would pop up.

"Inui-senpai..." Ryoma started as he saw a box with a picture of a blender plainly printed on the cardboard. Inui was holding it.

Ryoma sighed at the torture he would soon undergo.

The chosen people gathered in the small room where the producers would explain things to them. As Momo reached out to grab the comfy, rolly chair in the room Atobe came swiped it from his hands. Smugly he sat down.

"Be awed by my-"He started.

"Shut up! That was my chair! You just can't take it, you just can't! It's not right!" Momoshiro complained.

"Boys, boys settle down now. Save it for when the cameras are actually on." One of the producers suggested.

Angrily Momo took the nearest seat, which just happened to be right next to Kaidoh.

"Ffshhh." Kaidoh hissed softly as he was handed a folder by one of the assistants in the room. Everyone was given one.

"Alright, people...this is a reality TV show. Since we want it to be real we're going to give you all personalities that our writers have made up. Open your folders to see what you have been given." One of them said.

The tennis players opened the folders and a silence enveloped the room. The silence was shattered when most of them finished reading.

"What?!" Momo shouted and waved the papers furiously.

"Interesting..." Inui mumbled as he glanced at Fuji's folder. Fuji was obviously shocked as his eyes were opened.

"Ffsshhuu!" Kaidoh gave a glare to the producers at the role he was given.

"Calm down, calm down! It's only when the cameras are on!"

"When are they on?" Someone asked it was probably Oishi.

"Twenty fours seven days a week." One of the producers stated simply with a flashy grin.

"Oishi-senpai, I really hate reality TV." Ryoma stated.

"It'll be alright, Ryoma. It's not like they're going to make us play our parts." Oishi reassured hopefully.

"Actually whoever does not play their role correctly will have to drink a pitcher of my newest creation." Inui shook a bottle of the vile substance with a smile on his face.

"But Inui-senpai, look what they made me wear." Ryoma complained and pointed to his outfit.

Ryoma wore a soft pink T-shirt that had a heart in the center. On the back of the shirt there was a large smiley face with the words, 'Today's Be a Buddy Day! Smile!" He had on a pair of dark shorts with his regular pair of shoes. Next to his feet was a big teddy bear that he had dropped on purpose. The usual wristband was now a pastel purple. To top it all off they had replaced his hat with a different white one. One that had the words stitched onto it in red. 'Ryoma Loves You All!' it said.

Ryoma could almost die with the sickening cuteness of it all. On top of that he would have to be some overly emotional and sensitive pansy boy. This was going to have a stinging blow on his reputation and his dad would never let him forget about this.

"Oishi-senpai, I'm feeling sick. Can I go back home?" Ryoma tried to excuse himself from the terrible thing they were going to be forced to do.

"Maybe it won't be as bad as we think it is." Oishi was having a hard time with this show too.

Lucky for Oishi and Inui they were given clothes they would normally wear. Oishi wasn't satisfied with his new personality, but Inui was. Inui had it easy with a part that wasn't that different from himself.

A crash came from one of the dressing rooms. It belonged to Fuji. There was some commotion in there so the three who were already done with their costume and make up went to take a look at what was going on. Inui couldn't help, but take out his notebook and a pencil.

As Ryoma opened the door a strange sight greeted them. Inside was Fuji dressed in a blue dress that matched his eyes. His feet were bare as he refused to get into the painfully tall high heels. Both eyes were opened in anger.

"I refuse to wear this." Fuji stated. He had a limit and being forced to play a rather flirtatious woman wasn't his idea of a fun experience. Especially if this would be showing on National television.

"But Fujiko-chan, you look so lovely in that dress. You'll look like a man if you wear those normal clothing. Now come over here so I can finish with the lipstick." The woman replied.

"But I am a guy!" Fuji protested and wiped the lipstick with the back of his hand.

"Really?" The woman seemed shocked by this news. "No wonder why you're so flat-chested..."

Fuji crossed his arms in irritation. His head turned when he heard Inui mumbling to himself as he wrote down new information in a blank notebook. Intimidated by the look on Fuji's face, the three pulled their heads from the doorway and quietly shut the door.

"And I thought I had it bad." Oishi muttered.

DAY ONE
Ryoma stared at the group of all the participants in this show. Everyone seemed displeased about what they were told to do except for a couple like Atobe and Inui. Finally Fuji persuaded the woman into letting him wear something that wasn't so feminine as the revealing dress he was told to wear.

Eiji had a thick layer of make up on that made him look like a clown or a mime. His face was snow white with black make up covering his lips and eyes. Fake scars had been added all over his body. He wore black clothing and they had even replaced the white bandage on his cheek with a black one. The usually bouncy, happy tennis player now gave an impression of someone gloomy and depressed. Kikumaru looked absolutely unhappy too at his new personality.

Atobe strangely was given a white tuxedo to wear. He seemed too formal with what the others were given, but Ryoma had heard that Atobe would be the only one playing himself and not a made up character. Sengoku on the other hand was given raggish clothing. He claimed that a little bad luck would bring a lot of good luck later on.

Momo, like Kikumaru, had to wear dark clothing. He was given a pair of glasses to wear even though his eyes were fine. All of his clothes were business like with the neat creases and the rather bland colors. Kaidoh had on a neatly knitted sweater that had a picture of a cat dead center. He felt odd without his bandana, but Kaidoh seemed strangely happy holding a fluffy cat in his arms. The cat reminded Echizen of Karupin except this one had darker coloring.

It seemed as though the costume designer was blind with what was given to Yuuta. He had a T-shirt on that was painfully similar to the purple one Mizuki wore. He looked angry especially at his brother who had dragged him into this.

Tezuka and Taka were given what would be normal clothing and Shinji was made to wear a giant bear suit. His face was red with the heat of the suit and all could tell by his moving mouth that he was mumbling again. It was a good for the producers that there were security guards there.

The group was shoved into a house and the recording began...

The START
"I like...trains?!" A quiet voice was telling him what to say in a device plugged into his ears. Inui was standing next to him dropping ingredients into the blender.

With more emotion!

"I like trains...INUI! No!" Eiji grabbed the cup of bugs that he was about to pour into the blender and ran. If he were ever forced to drink it he would not want to have these icky bug parts in it.

The camera followed Eiji as he ran with the bugs. Finally he got outside and tossed the cup into the pool. The cup sank, but the bugs were light enough to float around struggling to be out of the water. Ryoma and Tezuka were in the pool on opposite ends.

Echizen, hurry and go to Tezuka. Cry, be emotional...You're supposed to be afraid of bugs.

"I don't want to." Ryoma answered back with his eyes shining in defiance.

The defiance disappeared when Inui showed up with two sludge-like pitchers of juice. "Would anyone care for a cup?"

"Te-zu-ka...!" Ryoma said blankly. He rushed forward and reluctantly hugged his captain.

Cry.

"No."

Cry!

"No!"

CRY! Damn it! I have your cat here and if you don't do as I say your cat's going to get it! The person shrieked into Ryoma's ear. In the background he heard a cat meow.

Ryoma dug his face into Tezuka's wet shoulder and pretended as though he was crying. He cared too much for Karupin and could smell the juice all the way over here. Ryoma was almost cheered up by the fact that he could get his sweet revenge along with his senpais once it was all over.

As Ryoma was crying, millions of viewers would lose blood as they saw what happened next. Out of nowhere came Sengoku followed by Shinji in his bear suit. Sengoku was naked, naked as in butt naked. Obviously something was making the two run for their lives as the camera had caught Sengoku streaking.

Whoever thought up these personalities was obviously either high or drunk to even consider all of these twisted things.

Dinnertime
Dinner was an awkward situation. No one could eat or talk with the cameras shoved into their faces. Sengoku was still blushing from the experience earlier and he was lucky to have Oishi find him and give him something to wear.

Each felt strange with the props they were given to hold. Ryoma had his teddy bear while Kaidoh had the living cat that kept on stealing anything he grabbed with his chopsticks. Inui had his notebook and Oishi for some weird reason was given a fishing rod. The strangest of all props was the butcher knife that Eiji had been given, which had some fake blood covering the edges.

Finally the silence was broken when Kaidoh was forced to say something. The producers had their ways to intimidate the victims into saying what they wanted.

"When I was ten, I wanted to be a male cheerleader or a florist." He hissed softly afterwards with his cheeks red from embarrassment.

Momo and Eiji almost choked on their food after what Kaidoh said. Picturing the viper in an aromatic smelling place filled with pretty flowers was not as easy as one would think. It was harder with the thought of Kaidoh in some strange cheerleading outfit. It was difficult imagining Kaidoh being peppy and bouncy while waving his hands that held brightly colored pom-poms.

Bedtime
The mansion was big and despite its large size it only had one very big bedroom. This meant that everyone would have to share the room. Of course Atobe wanted to have the room all for himself, but was greatly outnumbered by already irritated tennis players.

The worst was that there was only one bed. One bed that was huge enough to fit all of the TV show victims. The two captains were able to obtain the ends while the rest refused to sleep on the cold hard ground. In the end it ended up in this order.

Tezuka, Fuji, Yuuta, Oishi, Eiji, Shinji, Ryoma, Inui, Kaidoh, Momo, Taka, Sengoku, and Atobe.

"Geez, this sucks. I'm in the middle. Now if Kamio came instead of me I could be in my very own bed with my very own blanket with my very own pillow, but I have to share it with these people. I don't like sharing a lot sin-"

"SHINJI!" Practically everyone shouted to shut the mumbling player up.

The lights went out and silence came over the group.

"What sucks even more is that I have to go to sleep in a bear suit. Why couldn't I sleep in my-"

"SHINJI!"

Finally peace had come and each person tried their best to fall asleep. Most of them were cramped together by the fact that Atobe demanded more space then the rest. Another discomfort was the fact that it was pitch black and not everyone was keeping their hands to themselves.

"Ka-I-Doh." Inui playfully whispered and placed a kiss on the back of someone's neck.

"Inui-senpai, could you stop touching me?" Ryoma asked.

"Hm? What's this? Who's hugging me? I wish I never came here. I don't like being touched by other people and how am I supposed to sleep with someone purring in my ear. If only Kamio came instead of me."

"Eiji, I'm on your right side." Oishi said after listening to Shinji.

"Hoi? Oh, hehe sorry, Shinji."

"Ne, Kabaji, read me the bedtime story with the sheep." A particular captain said out of habit.

Someone was struggling as the Seigaku prodigy accidentally placed a pillow onto the St. Rudolph's player's face.

"Fuji-senpai...I think you're suffocating your brother..." Ryoma whispered.

The midnight whispers continued until Tezuka snapped. He couldn't get any sleep with the constant talking.

"Tomorrow! Fifty laps around the house!" He shouted that shut up everyone immediately.

"...I really hate reality TV shows..."