"Weasley! Hey, Weasley! Wait up!"
Ron turned around, utterly bewildered; not believing his eyes, ears and nose.
'They're not working properly—Oh sweet Merlin! They are! Same bouncy ferret, same ugly voice, same rich smell! Dear, dear, dear, dear Merlin!'
Ron sucked in his breath as Draco Malfoy approached him.
"Honestly Weasley, which part of wait up did you not understand?"
'The wait obviously.'
"What do you want Malfoy?"
'Dear Merlin, is he actually hurt?'
"Can't I talk to a fellow schoolmate?"
"Not to me you can't."
"Oh come on Ronald, why the cold shoulder?"
"What do you mean Malfoy? We have always acted like this!"
"Really? I don't recall. Care to remind me?"
"Certainly."
And thus, Ron proceeded to ruffle through his thoughts in search of an ideal example out of the many-no, countless- incidents.
"Well?"
"Quiet! I'm thinking!"
"I wasn't aware that you could think."
Ron's ears began to turn to the familiar shade of red.
"There! A perfect example! You've just insulted me!"
"You call that an insult, Weasley? I was just being curious- honest!"
Ron scowled at the bleached blonde.
'Honest, I think not!'
"You know Ronald, you're quite sensitive"
'Insufferable prat! I'll strangle you one day... you just wait!'
"Then stop talking to me!"
A sigh.
"I can't. Hermione insists that I'd be friends with you."
"Oh."
Silence.
"So... When's your birthday, Ronald?"
Ron gaped at Malfoy.
'Is he insane?'
"Excuse me?"
"When, is, your, birthday, Ronald?"
Ron's eyes bulged out.
'Dear Merlin, he is!'
"... Third of March."
"Third? Kind of fitting ain't it? You being the third member of the Golden Trio and all..."
'What in Merlin is he up to?'
"I'm the second actually, Hermione's the third."
"No, no, Ronald. I'm correct. Potter's the leader, Hermione's the brains, and you're the sidekick. So you're the last."
"I am not! I'm the comic relief! I'm the second!"
"It's alright Ronald, there's no need for denial about being the most useless member."
"I am not useless!'
"That's what they always say."
"Who's they?"
"Oh, you don't know them?"
"No Malfoy, I don't. Now who's them?"
"Well Weasley, I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"Because."
'Because? BECAUSE? Is he a bloody 5-year-old?'
"Fine. Whatever. I don't care."
"Okay."
'Prat. Prat-prat-prat-prat-prat-prat-prat -prat-prat -prat-prat -prat-prat -prat-prat -prat-prat -prat-prat'
"So..."
'Now what?'
"So...?"
"So.......?"
"So.............?"
"So...................?"
"So...........................?"
"So......................................?"
'Oh for the sweet love of Merlin-'
"Heard that you fancy Luna Lovegood."
'What? Oh dear Merlin! Harry told him? Harry actually told him? Oh bloody Merlin!'
"N-No, 'of course not."
"Whatever you say Ronald, but I know love when I see it."
'Love? Love?? Love???'
"Hey- you alright? You're turning red- yellow- orange- my, Weasley, you just have the whole rainbow on your face. That's absolutely amazing!"
"I don't -love- her!"
"Oh dear Ronald, do not fret, you too shall pass the stage of denial I was once in."
'Dear Merlin, Malfoy, Malfoy! - is talking to me about love. Love! This is mad. Absolutely mad!'
Ron shuddered as Malfoy sighed dreamily, still looking into space with that particularly love-sick face that disturbed Ron quite badly.
'Merlin, I need to escape!'
"Hey, isn't that Hermione?"
Immediately, Malfoy broke out his trance, head shooting up and eyes alert.
"I don't see her Weasley."
He turned around, only to find he was alone in the deserted hallway.
"Weasley?"