Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! belongs to Kazuki Takahashi.

Substations are those fenced up areas containing lots of metal poles, cables, and machines, which are used to transform electric current. You've undoubtedly gone past at least one in your lifetime. However, every substation I've ever seen has had barbed wire on it. Creative liberties were taken so that the characters would not have to sew up their uniforms later that night.

I don't know the exact comic, but Ryou is referring to the time in the Death-T, right after Anzu, Jounouchi, and Yuugi got out of the room with all the falling blocks, where Yuugi finally told Anzu and Jounouchi about Yami Yugi. (I'm assuming one of them filled Honda and Ryou in on this.)

Honda has been trying to kill himself for a long time, not just since they murdered Mai. He didn't want to be turned anymore than Ryou did -- the only difference between them is that Honda has handled it worse. Ryou, for what it's worth, has both Honda and Bakura to help him adjust. Honda was alone.

Whoo, long notes.
------------

.

#14: Temperance

.

There's a death wish that runs through the recycled psyche of the undead.

.

Ryou missed most of his classes that day. After getting an ice pack in the nurses' office, he had to spend too much time explaining to the police officers that he didn't want to press charges and he only had a vague idea why Jounouchi had attacked him. It was difficult since Jounouchi was his friend, and he had known of Mai and been seen in a public event with her before, but between his own familiarity with the police and a few helpful comments from Bakura, Ryou was certain that he'd removed himself from the majority of suspicion regarding her death.

And after that was over, he ditched the rest of his classes and headed out into Domino.

.

Most cities have at least a few dozen feet of grass and trees set aside and labeled as a "park." Domino was no exception. But, if the parks are even slightly accessible, they always have someone in them, whether it's old men, joggers, drug dealers, or people with small children. Again, Domino was no exception. Anyone in a city who really wanted privacy wouldn't go to a park.

That's why Ryou wasn't completely surprised to find Honda inside a substation on the outskirts of downtown.

It wasn't that he had sensed the other teenager -- it was more that Ryou had wanted to find him, and his feet unconsciously took him to the place Honda was at. Ryou didn't really want to think about why that was, so he didn't. Instead, he simply crossed the street and walked around the fence of the substation until he reached the side that was farthest from the road. The mesh that was wrapped around the chain-link was semi-transparent, so Ryou knew that Honda had seen him approaching, but the brunet made no sign of acknowledgement. There was surprisingly no barbed wire along the bar at the top, so Ryou set his schoolcase against the fence before tensing, jumping, and grabbing it. The mesh was slippery, so he had to scramble to get his legs up and over. But he didn't fall to the ground as badly as the last time, and he was grateful for that small dignity.

Honda was lying on the ground with his hands behind his head, several feet away from the metal poles of the station. Ryou undid the top buttons of his jacket as he walked, shivering faintly as the cold air hit his thin shirt beneath. He opened the first few buttons of his shirt as well, and then tugged the cord of the Sennen Ring over his head before pulling the Item out and tossing it to the side.

Caught off guard -- Ryou's thoughts hadn't betrayed his actions -- Bakura yelled at him, but Ryou forced the thief's voice to the back of his mind and sat down next to Honda, pulling his legs up to his chest.

"How do we die?" he asked.

Honda didn't reply, and continued to stare up at the sky. Ryou sat in the quiet for a few more minutes, listening to the cars and watching as they drove by. Then he wrapped his arms around his knees and clenched his hands into fists.

"How do we die, Honda-kun?" he demanded quietly. "You told me how to kill people; at least tell me this."

"I don't know," Honda replied.

Ryou blinked in surprise, and looked down at him.

Honda sat up, but he still wouldn't look at Ryou. "A stake through the heart doesn't work. Neither does silver, like I said. Or any other kind of knife. I-- . . . you just pass out for a while, and when you wake up, it's healed. And if you spill too much blood, it's like . . . some kind of auto-pilot survival instinct kicks in and you kill someone to replace it. It does the same if you try to starve. We can't overdose, we can't drown, I guess we can't asphyxiate. . . . I don't know."

Ryou touched his throat. It was fine now, but the bruises had been ugly and painful for a couple hours -- the longest Ryou could remember being injured since he was turned. He had a feeling that if it had been possible, Jounouchi really would have killed him.

"I haven't tried crashing my bike yet, 'cause if I live I don't want to have to explain why it's totaled and I don't have a scratch," Honda added. "And I figure if knives don't work, guns won't either. I don't know how the hell someone could behead themselves, unless they have a guillotine handy."

Ryou bit his lip. A moment later he unclenched his hands and covered his face with them for a few moments, before pulling them away again. Ryou fell back slightly so that he was lying on the ground and wrapped his arms over his chest. He stared at the metal poles of the substation, watching the sunlight glint off of them.

". . . What did I do to make you hate me so much, Honda?" he asked quietly.

The brunet stared at the gravel of the substation and didn't speak for several long moments. "You got Jounouchi killed in that darkness game you played at Duelist Kingdom," he finally said. "You got me killed, too. And Pegasus is dead for real, and so's whoever you got those locator cards from . . . and I'm sure there's more we don't know about. . . . But you sent Jounouchi to the Graveyard."

The glinting sunlight was hurting his eyes. Ryou closed them. "That wasn't me."

". . . Yeah," Honda said quietly. ". . . I know that now."

Ryou supposed that cold comfort was the best he could get.

He had nothing more to say, so Ryou lay silent and simply absorbed the cool October sunshine. He wasn't sure if he would eventually not be able to go out in it as he grew older, so he might as well enjoy it while it lasted. He didn't know anything, and Honda didn't know anything, and. . . .

Ryou bit his lip harder, but he quit when he noticed that he was cutting it.

"It's on my leg," Honda said, hesitantly abrupt. "The . . . the inside of my upper thigh."

Ryou opened his eyes again, a slightly puzzled expression on his face, but he didn't look over at Honda. "Huh?"

"My scar," Honda clarified.

". . . Oh."

The brunet had always referred to the person that turned him as 'she,' and unless Honda had some fetish for hot pants that Ryou didn't know about, there was a certain expanse of skin that couldn't be reached while wearing jeans, their uniforms' pants, or underwear. Ryou didn't need a diagram. "Maybe that's why. . . ."

When he didn't finish the sentence, Honda raised an eyebrow. "Why what?"

Ryou pushed himself into a sitting position. "Nothing. I didn't mean anything." He stood up and began to walk to the place where he had thrown the Ring, not giving Honda a chance to question him further.

The brunet frowned when Ryou picked up the Sennen Ring and slid the cord back over his neck, before tucking it back underneath his shirt and beginning to re-do the buttons. "Why do you keep wearing that damn thing?"

Ryou's hands paused over his jacket buttons. "Because . . . it's . . . because I. . . ." He seemed to give up then, and just finished buttoning his jacket. "You wouldn't understand."

The crypticness was beginning to irritate Honda. "Understand what?"

Ryou looked over at him. "Ask Yuugi-kun why he kept wearing the Puzzle, even when he thought that all of you would hate him or leave him if you found out about the other Yuugi-kun. You'll see."

Honda didn't reply to that, so Ryou walked away and jumped over the fence again. His landing was even better the third time around.

Bakura said nothing as he walked away, but Ryou knew that he was going to be monitored for a very long time after this.

.

A few days later, it was Monday, and Jounouchi finally returned to school again. The homeroom teacher had moved the seating arrangement slightly so that he was no longer next to Ryou, and he didn't speak much to any of them, not even Yuugi (his silence towards Ryou was palpable), and he ran off somewhere during lunch, but other than that things were as close to normal as they ever were when one was a friend of Mutou Yuugi.

On Tuesday's lunch period, when Jounouchi had disappeared somewhere again and Otogi was too busy finishing the homework he hadn't done last night because of an unexpected rush at his store to join them, Honda finally took Ryou's advice.

"Hey, Yuugi."

"Yeah?"

"I have a weird question."

Yuugi tilted his head. "What is it?"

Honda propped his arm on his leg. "After you learned about the other you, why did you keep wearing the Puzzle? You told Anzu and Jounouchi that you were worried they'd leave you if they found out, right?"

Yuugi looked surprised and uncomfortable. Ryou felt sorry for him.

The shorter teenager picked at his bento. "Um . . . I guess I . . . I just. . . ."

He glanced over at Ryou. Ryou looked down.

It was only a small gesture, nothing more than one Sennen Item holder looking to another for help in explaining something that outsiders could never understand. It said more than enough.

Honda shrugged. "Never mind. I said it was a weird question."

Yuugi looked relived, and Anzu shook her head. "You were right," she replied. "Why were you even thinking of something like that, Honda?"

"No reason."

They finished the rest of the lunch period in slightly strained conversation. Jounouchi was already in the classroom by the time they returned to it.