Konnichi wa, all. I have another original chapter for all of you. I seem to be getting better at writing, ne? I'm surprised that this fic has got this many reviews already. Before it got deleted, I had 46 reviews. I was reformatting some of the chapters when it got deleted. X( But this version is better than the last version...I think I said that already.
Well, this is a long author's note. I'll let the fic start now.
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Marik walked cautiously towards his yami's room. He, Isis, and Rishid had played Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide which one of them would tell Yami Marik that they were going to the mall. Marik lost, was to convince his yami to come.
He pushed open the door, alert and wary; with good reason. Yami Marik had been known to attack anyone who breathed too loudly in his presence.
The room was pitch black, save for a lit candle. Yami Marik was burning clarinet reeds over the fire, cursing whenever the fire burnt his hand. Marik rolled his eyes.
"Yami, we're going shopping, and you're coming."
The pyromaniac glanced up. "How did you get in here?"
"I opened the door."
"Oh."
Marik refrained from calling his yami a complete moron with extreme difficulty. "Mor-I mean, we're leaving soon, so hurry up."
Yami Marik continued to burn the reeds. "I don't have time."
Marik raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure. Now move it, or Isis will kill me. She's still mad about the toaster incident."
"It seems you are in quite a bind, hikari," Yami Marik said calmly.
Marik was losing patience. "Move it, yami, or I'll...I'll...um...." He couldn't come up with a very good threat. The stapler had disappeared in a poof of purple smoke earlier, so that was out of the question.
"I'll make a deal with you," Yami Marik continued.
"What do you want?" Marik asked uneasily.
"Give me all the caffeine in the house."
"RA NO!!!" Marik yelled. Yami Marik had extremely strict limitations on sugar, and caffeine was absolutely out of the question. Daisaigai would often drink Mountain Dew and steadily eat her way through a five-pound bag of sugar in front of Yami Marik and Bakura. Had they not been duct-taped to rocks while this occurred, they probably would've thrown her off a cliff or eaten her along with the sugar.
"You can put a limit on the mortals I murder after I get my Mountain Dew...how about ten thousand?"
Marik shook his head fiercely. "Never! You'd probably end up blowing up the house, or-or tie Daisaigai to a rock and force her to eat lasagna!!!!"
"Oh goodness, I'd never do some thing THAT horrible!" Yami Marik gasped in mock horror, although he looked as if that'd be the first thing he did after the chapter was over.
"Yeah right," Marik snapped. "Stop acting so nice, it's just wrong."
"Fine."
Marik was struck by a sudden idea. Perhaps he could lure his yami into the living room, where he could be tied up and forced into the car. It was worth a try.
"Hey yami," Marik said suddenly, pulling a pack of matches out of his pocket.
Yami Marik's reaction was immediate and spontaneous. He threw himself at Marik, who swiftly leapt back out of the doorway.
"ISIS!!! RISHID!!! DO SOMETHING!!!" Marik shouted frantically, as his yami got to his feet to attack once more.
"Give...me...them..." Yami Marik hissed, pointing to the matches. Marik attempted to run backwards, and tripped over the carpet.
"That's something I'd expect from you," Wind said to Daisaigai, raising her eyebrows.
Daisaigai sighed. "I have to agree."
Yami Marik was bearing down upon his terrified hikari. "Fire..."
Suddenly, Isis and Rishid leapt out from two shadowy corners, wielding staplers. Yami Marik tried to dodge their assault, but failed miserably. They grabbed his cape, wrapped it tightly around him, and stapled it to his clothes, rendering him unable to move.
"THIS IS MY BEST CAPE!!!!" Yami Marik roared, struggling wildly. He paused for a moment, then added, "AND I CAN'T MOVE!!!!!"
"Well duh," Marik snapped. He, along with Rishid and Isis, lifted Yami Marik off the ground and carried him off to the car.
"PUT ME DOWN!!!!!"
Marik rolled his eyes. "Here's a nice, comfortable spot for you, yami," he said, attempting to stuff Yami Marik in the trunk. "OUCH!! YOU MORON!!! YOU DON'T BITE PEOPLE!!!!" He shook his wounded hand frantically, cursing in pain.
Isis groaned. "Let him sit in the back so he doesn't suffocate. Rishid, you're driving."
"Alright."
"Can I drive???" both Marik and Yami Marik asked eagerly.
"NO." Isis said firmly.
Marik and his yami visibly wilted.
They all got into/ were stuffed into the car. The car ride soon grew boring, with only the sounds of Yami Marik trying to pull the staples out of his cape using his teeth. Isis turned on the radio. A familiar song began to play.
"Desperado..."Everyone's eyes widened. Isis frantically tried to turn off the radio, shouting at Rishid to keep driving, but to no avail. Rishid held up a hand and whispered, "Shhh...it's the song..."
"Desperado...why don't you come to your senses..."Isis smacked her forehead. Marik groaned. Yami Marik choked on a staple.
Rishid's grip on the steering wheel began to slacken, and the car began to head for a nearby telephone pole.
"RISHID, NO!!!!!" Isis cried, and swiftly turned off the radio. Rishid seemed to snap out of a daze.
"Sorry, Isis..." he muttered, turning rather red.
Isis sighed. "It's alright...Marik, slap your yami on the back or something, he's choking."
Marik raised his hand, but missed, and instead hit Yami Marik's hair. A howl of pain escaped his mouth as he waved his nearly impaled hand around.
Isis groaned. "This is going to be a looooong day..."
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Bakura lifted his radio up to eye level. For some reason, it kept eating his tapes. He examined the inside of the tape player. Dust covered the heads.
"Dang it..."
Bakura left his room, and came back shortly later with a Q-tip. He took the tape player, and carefully cleaned the dust-covered heads. He placed a Led Zepplin tape inside, and it played clearly.
Bakura has a way with technology. Remember that.
Suddenly, Ryou burst into the room. "YAMI MARIK LOCKED DRACULITA IN THE CAR!!!!!!!!!"
"WHAT?!?!?!?!" Bakura roared, immediately jumping to his feet. He charged out of the room, tripped slightly on the carpet, and continued to run. Ryou smiled.
"Works every time," he said quietly. He too walked out of the room, jangling the car keys slightly.
They were going to the mall.
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Bit short; I know. Don't worry, I'm typing the next chapter practically as I speak. What horrors await them at the mall? MUAHAHKEEKEEEKEKEKUKUKFUUFUHUHUUACKACKACKACKCAWCAWCAEMOOMOOMOOHEHEHEHEHEHHEWOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!
Review please.
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