Hello, all. This fic is starting to become popular. 32 reviews and counting.
I post chapters for this fic one at a time in order to get more reviews. I know how it is: You read a bunch of chapters for a fic, but review only once, at the last chapter. I'm lazy; I do it too. This doesn't mean I won't continue until I get a certain number of reviews. I hate it when authors say that, so I'm not going to do it. If I do get more than one chapter done, I'll post them a day apart from each other. This way, people keep seeing the story over and over again, get tired of seeing it, and finally decide to read it. Marketing techniques, my friends. That also wins reviews. I always write to my utmost potential, so I apologize if the chapters aren't coming out fast enough for you. It takes some revision to make the chapter the best I can make it, which requires time. I'm also in school right now, and have a lot of homework on most nights. (ARGHH!!!) I get stuff done on weekends.
In reference to future chapters, it would be wise to read the September through October issues of Shonen Jump, in the Shaman King manga. A character will be appearing from those issues: Faust VIII. Keep an eye out.
Alright, I hope you all read that without falling asleep. Now it's time to start the fic!!!!
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Bakura followed the band o' freaks towards the pet shop. Yami Marik was attempting to remove the tape from his mouth without also removing a layer of skin. The creepies supporting him were whispering among themselves. They had slight doubts in their chosen leader...
Suddenly, someone leapt in front of Bakura: Fast-Talking Johnny! EVERYBODY SCREAM!!!!
"Heh heh..."
Bakura backed away, snarling. "Get away from me, you teenage, homicidal, temperamental, freaky, clarinet player."
Johnny cackled, and pulled out a chainsaw. "I'm the innocent and/or evil bystander in this fic. I MAKE OLD MEN CRY!!!!!!!!" (A/N: o.O)
Bakura took this as a warning. He turned into the Forbidden Territory: Claire's. Even if it was named after Johnny's clarinet, it represented potential danger. She, Daisaigai, Wind, and Kage Akumu would not melt, but the carpet would feel like hot coals on their feet/paws.
Yami Marik and the weirdoes watched as Bakura fled, Johnny in hot pursuit. Yami Marik tried to speak, but all that came out was, "MURPH!!!"
The Goths, punks, preps, and posers took this as sign to move faster. Yami Marik frantically shook his head, but no one noticed him. They arrived at the pet shop in good time.
The greasy prep grabbed Yami Marik and shoved him into the pet store. His protest?
"MURG!!!"
Daisaigai sighed. "Even he has a more advanced vocabulary than 'MURPH!' and 'MURG!' "She ripped the tape off his mouth, and his scream awakened a deadly creature in the cast-iron cage in the back of the store.
Yami Marik warily walked into the store, rubbing his very sore mouth. Something was going to attack. He could sense it.
All the animals turned towards him. The cockatoos raised their head feathers in alarm, and bore a shocking resemblance to Yami Marik. He glared at them, and walked further into the store.
His followers said something about a "test", and he was becoming more paranoid by the second. Something was around here somewhere...lurking in the shadows, lying in wait for the next meal...
Yami Marik slowly approached a shadowy corner, the Rod's golden dagger unsheathed. He was prepared to attack Something, whatever it may be. Something must have been the one who rid the store of (living) people.
He leapt around the corner, and raised the dagger to attack the EVIL, MENACING, MANIACAL-
-fish tank. Yami Marik had driven the weapon into a water-stained glass container. Sweatdropping, he yanked the knife out of the EVIL, MENACING, MANIACAL fish tank, and continued on.
Something was doing this to test his alertness. It knew he was paranoid right now, and was testing him.
Yami Marik edged towards the back of the store. A door with an overly large lock upon it came into view.
He puzzled over how to get it open. Having no sense of logic, he did not realize it needed a certain type of key, or that it needed a key at all for that matter. Yami Marik attacked the lock with the already-bent dagger. It bounced off.
"Grrr...why didn't it work???"
He wanted to know what was behind that door. He HAD to know what was behind that blasted entrance. This is the reason why Yami Marik spent the next half-hour trying various methods of opening the door, such as kicking it, biting it, punching it, challenging it to a staring contest (which the door won, much to the madman's displeasure), poking it, paper-cutting it, singing to it, throwing bird-seed at it, and siccing the cockatoos upon it.
Nothing worked.
Panting, Yami Marik slid down the opposite wall. The last half hour had been wasted. None of his usual methods for getting something to function were working. Finally, out of immense frustration, he roared:
"OPEN SESEME, YOU BAKA-HEADED EXCUSE FOR A DOOR!!!!!"
The lock fell off, and the door opened.
Yami Marik stared in shock, then got up and walked cautiously through the entrance. Something was probably poised to attack, claws out, fangs bared, fur bristled-
A click startled the psycho. He whipped around, struggled to see through the darkness of the room.
A bare light bulb had flickered on, illuminating the desolate room, and the cage that Something was contained in. Two dark, malevolent eyes peered out from the darkness inside the cage. The darkness seemed to stop at the iron bars. The door slowly creaked to a close.
Yami Marik bent down and stared at the thing. He could see nothing, except for the same two eyes of the creature. Slowly, however, it became apparent there was more than one Something, since several more pairs of eyes appeared behind the first.
The creatures' vast orbs were oddly beckoning. Without realizing what he was doing, Yami Marik stretched out a hand and flipped the latch off the cage.
An ear-piercing squeak brought him back to his "senses". He jumped backwards, tripped over the carpet, and landed on his back. Yami Marik closed his eyes in terror, for he could hear the Somethings spilling out of the cage that had shielded the world from its evil.
Another squeak sounded, though this time it was not as shrill. Yami Marik warily opened his eyes.
Thousands of fuzzy hamsters surrounded him. He closed his eyes again, shook his head, and reopened them.
The hamsters were still there.
"Hi!" the nearest one squeaked. "My name's Hamtaro!!! Will you join our Ham-Ham club?"
"What?" Yami Marik asked, dumbfounded. Was this the same Something that had rid the store of living souls?
"The Ham-Ham club!!! Surely you would want to join!!" Hamtaro squeaked again.
"No," Yami Marik snapped, getting to his feet. "I don't have time to play with rats."
Hamtaro's entire demeanor changed. "SO!" he said in a deep voice. "YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF ABOVE THE GREATNESS OF THE HAM-HAMS?!"
"Yes. Yes I do," Yami Marik said, glaring at the thousands of hamsters.
The hamsters suddenly crowded around the door.
"YOU SHALL NOT LEAVE," Hamtaro rumbled. "HAM-HAMS, UNITE!!!"
The hamsters began to swarm together. Yami Marik stared as they formed one giant, fuzzy hamster.
"NO HUMAN EVER LIVES TO SEE US IN THIS FORM!!! YOU SHALL NOT ESCAPE!!!!"
Yami Marik yelped as they swiped at him with one of their massive paws. He threw his entire weight against the door, trying desperately to break it open. The giant hamster lunged at him once more, but this time he dodged their assault. They broke down the door, and Yami Marik ran for his life.
-o-o-o-
Meanwhile, Bakura was still fleeing from Johnny. He had tried to enter Clair's, but the soles of his shoes had begun to melt as soon as he set foot inside the place. Johnny had a very large amount of stamina. She was not winded at all, even though she had been chasing a 5,000 year old spirit with a running chainsaw for a half hour.
Bakura wheeled around a corner, towards the pet store. The freaks glared at him as he sped into the desolate store, Johnny in hot pursuit.
-o-o-o-
Yami Marik bolted away from the huge hamster, searching frantically for the exit.
Hamtaro urged the hamsters forward, but unfortunately for them, Yami Marik's terror had driven his adrenaline through the roof, and he was able to stay a stride ahead of the hamsters/ menacing monster.
With a roar, Hamtaro and the hamsters he was leading put all their effort into a last lunge forwards.
Yami Marik at last spotted the exit, and for a moment, it looked as if he might escape.
At that very moment, Bakura, who was still fleeing from the rabid clarinet player, collided with him. Both yelled in surprise and crashed to the floor. Hamtaro roared in delight, and bore down upon the two psychos.
Suddenly, Johnny sped into the shop, still wielding the chainsaw. In a menacing voice, she said, "Oh Bakura, sweetie, I have a present for you..."
Hamtaro was distracted by the voice, turned his glare towards Johnny. "WHY LOOK, MY FELLOW HAM-HAMS, WE HAVE ANOTHER SNACK."
Johnny sneered up at mass of rodents. "You're just a bunch of hamsters," she spat, then added, "Oh great, I'm allergic to-to –to –to-"
She sneezed suddenly, and her retainer flew out of her mouth. Hamtaro's eyes widened as he watched the object fly closer and closer until-
Bakura and Yami Marik watched in amazement as the retainer smacked Hamtaro right in the forehead. He fell from the swarm of hamsters, and they all collapsed with him. Thousands upon thousands of the fuzzy creatures darted out of the pet store and into the mall.
Johnny sniffed, and snapped her fingers. Her retainer reappeared in her mouth. "I need some allergy medicine."
Bakura and Yami Marik slowly got to their feet, glancing wearily about the hamster-infested mall.
"Ohhhhh great..."
-o-o-o-
Marik stopped, and looked in confusion. Where had all these hamsters come from?
He stooped down and picked up a random rodent. Isis loved small, fuzzy creatures. Maybe if he gave this to her, she would stop glaring at him every time he said the word "toaster". He set off to find his yami, and his brother and sister.
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I don't know if that was funny or not, I have writer's block. FORGIVE ME!!!!!!!!!
Review please.
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