The Fun-ness of the Dark Side

And you thought it was all evil...

Wanted: A Sith Apprentice

This job entails:

-Making lightening pop out of your hands

-Fighting Jedis with shiny sticks

-Wearing a black and pink cape

-Riding on small motorcycles

-Hanging out with an evil dude

-Getting a tattoo and/or large black mask

-Great Halloween Parties!!!

"Awesome!!!" yelled the Jedi, Pinneapple Delight, as he read the ad in the Coroscant Daily. "The Jedi side is so boring. We never do anything but sit in circles meditating. We don't even have a Halloween party!!!"

He quickly made up his mind. "Yo, Yoda!!!" he called. Then he said it again-- "Yo Yoda! It has a nice ring to it."

"Yes, my young apprentice?" Yoda asked.

"I quit!!!"

Yoda sighed. "Well, before you leave, pose for the statue, would you?"

"What statue?" Pinneapple asked.

"The statue for the library. A statue, each of the Lost Twenty have. Twenty-one," he corrected.

"Fine, then."

An artist rushed in, with a block of clay. He had a curly black mustache and a blue berret, and was wearing a red and white striped shirt, of course.

"I am Claude Monet. If you don't get out of my portrait now, I'll wack you with a beaver!!!" he said in a heavy French accent.

Pinneapple took no notice. He posed, and the artist shaped him into the clay.

"It'll be in stone, in the end," Yoda said.

Finally, the statue was finished and Pinneapple went and packed his suitcase. As he went down the hall, he waved to every single person he passed by. One Jedi, a girl named Minervie, asked, "Where are you going?"

"To the Sith!" Pinneapple answered cheerily. Minervie walked away, disgusted.

He waved to his friend, Qui-Gon, on the way out. He thought he heard Qui-Gon say to his apprentice, "That one wouldn't have lasted long anyway." But Pinneapple didn't care. He stepped outside, hailed a taxi, and was on his way to the Sith Headquarters.

Fifteen minutes later, Pinneapple stood in front of a buliding with a huge sign that said, "This is not the Sith Headquarters. This is an Elephant Training Facility."

Pinneapple scratched his head. He stared at the sign. Finally, he opened up the ad and read the address. "They must have moved!" he said. "Now what do I do?"

From behind him came a large, muscled man in a black cape. "Yo, dude," the man said. "What are you doing here?"

Pinneapple started to sweat. "Um, I'm um, I'm um, I'm going um, um, I'm trying out um, um for, I'm um..."

"Dude, don't hurt yourself! Start over."

"I'm trying out for the Sith part," Pinneapple said slowly.

"'Trying out'? That's an interesting way to put it. But I am too."

"They moved. It's an Elephant Training Facility now," Pinnaepple told him.

The man laughed a deep, long laugh. He reminded Pinneapple of Santa Clause. "They didn't move at all! That's just to trick common pedestrians."

Pinneapple looked around. He didn't see any common foot doctors. Or people walking on their feet, for that matter.

"Well, are you coming in? Mine name's Muffin, by the way."

Together, Muffin and Pinneapple walked through the door.

Just inside was a man with a red and black tattoo on his face. "Just in that door," he said. "Well, you may want to wait. Someone's in there already."

They could hear a faint yelling from inside the door. "FIRED!!! YOU'RE FIRED!!!"

A minute later, a man in a black mask and black dress walked out. He seemed to be crying.

Muffin went into the room, and shut the door.

Pinneapple sat on a stiff chair and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. Did I mention waited? He waited so long, you would thing his proffesion was Waitor. (Ha ha ha. Very funny.)

He just had to walk around, but the tattoo guy was staring at him. He didn't think he would be allowed to.

Finally, he asked Tattoo, "Where's the potty?"

Tattoo looked surprised. "Down that hall," he answered. "To the left."

Pinneapple had no intention of going potty. He had done something he thought very clever, and was now going to explore the Headquaters.