Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! belongs to Kazuki Takahashi.
"Sayonara" basically means "goodbye forever." You don't say it if you expect to see the other person again in your lifetime.
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#20: Judgment
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Be sure your sins will catch up with you.
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Christmas was coming.
Domino High was out for winter break, and Ryou was fairly sure that he had passed all his finals. He had barely passed a few, but that was good enough. He was just glad that he no longer had to schedule his days by what he was going to be studying that night. Until school restarted, the only thing Ryou had to keep track of was when he would have to eat again.
He had silently given up on trying to take only a little blood more often than two weeks. He knew Bakura was aware of his decision, but the spirit said nothing, either to mock or otherwise. Ryou was grateful.
Bakura had called him foolish earlier that afternoon, for cooking, but he ignored it. He was sure that there would be no consequences in doing that -- Bakura had been preoccupied lately, and he was spending most of his time completely disregarding Ryou's existence. This gave Ryou a certain degree of freedom that he hadn't had since he'd thrown the Sennen Ring aside and asked Honda how to die.
Ryou was washing the last of the dishes when there was a knock on the door.
He sighed and finished soaping up the mixing bowl.
(Now what?)
Ryou began rinsing off the bowl. Such a big deal about an interruption, he thought, mostly to himself. What happened to 'we have all eternity'?
(Be quiet.)
There was another knock, and Ryou set the bowl in the drying rack. It's my head. I can't help thinking. You could always stop listening, he added as he dried off his hands on his jeans and leaned down to check the creampuffs in the oven one last time.
(Host. Be. quiet.)
Ryou bit his lip. There was a third knock, and he walked to the door in silence.
He blinked when he saw Jounouchi standing outside.
". . . Oh! I'm so sorry! I thought you were someone -- I'm sorry for making you wait, Jounouchi-kun; please, come in."
Jounouchi waved off his contrition. "It's okay. Uh, thanks for letting me in."
"Do you want anything to drink?" Ryou asked. "I have soda. And I'm baking creampuffs -- they should be ready in twenty minutes or so."
"No, no, it's cool. Really." Jounouchi coughed and glanced down at the floor. He continued to stand in the entryway, and didn't trade his shoes for the guest slippers. "I, uh . . . I came here 'cause I needed to apologize."
Ryou blinked. "Apologize?"
"You know. For being such an asshole to you before." Jounouchi shoved his hands into his pockets. "I never should have--"
"It's okay," Ryou interrupted.
Jounouchi looked up at that. "No, it's not. I shouldn't have attacked you. I should have listened when you said -- hell, I shouldn't have suspected you in the first place, you're our friend . . . I just. . . ."
Ryou gave him a small smile. "Jounouchi-kun, it's okay. I know how much you felt about her -- it's understandable." His smile faded a little. "And it's not like you acted without reason . . . I've done some horrible things before. . . ."
"No," Jounouchi said, shaking his head. "That wasn't you. Or you were being manipulated into it. And I am sorry."
Ryou smiled at him again. "I accept your apology, Jounouchi-kun. I hope . . . I can't understand what you've gone through, but . . . I hope things begin to get better for you."
". . . Yeah. Thanks." Jounouchi scratched the back of his head. "I . . . just wanted to tell you that, y'know? Things have been screwed up for too long. . . ."
Ryou nodded. "Okay. Thank you, Jounouchi-kun."
"All right," Jounouchi said, taking a step back towards the door. "I . . . guess I'll see you when school starts? Or before then. You're going to Yuugi's Christmas party, right?"
"Yep!" Ryou said. "I'll see you around."
"Okay." Jounouchi opened the door, and Ryou held it as he watched the other teenager walk down the hallway. The cold wind made him shiver slightly. "See ya," Jounouchi called over his shoulder.
"Goodbye!" Ryou said with a wave.
When Jounouchi disappeared down the stairs, Ryou pulled the door shut and rubbed his arms vigorously to get the warmth back in them.
(Your ability to lie with a smile always fascinates me, landlord.)
When was I lying? Ryou asked. He was genuinely sorry.
(I was referring to your comment about not understanding what he was going through,) Bakura replied. (Ah, but here only Honda knows about her, right? Honda, and you, and myself.)
Ryou fell into that certain bitter silence that meant Bakura had once again touched on a sore spot of his, and the spirit chuckled briefly.
(You'll be hungry again in another day,) Bakura added after a few minutes.
Yes, Ryou said shortly, setting a spatula in the drying rack.
(Don't wait this time. Go eat tonight.)
Blood and creampuffs. Mmm, Ryou replied sardonically.
He received the mental feel of a smirk from Bakura for the comment, which surprised him.
(Yes,) the spirit said quietly, (I like you much better this way. . . .)
Bakura shut himself back into his soul room with that, and a moment later Ryou checked the oven again.
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It was funny, Ryou thought to himself later that evening; tonight was the first time he'd eaten without Honda accompanying him. It had gone much easier than the previous ones.
He'd snapped the man's neck, quickly, from behind. It was probably the most merciful way to kill him. He hadn't had to feel Ryou stab into his throat to reach the blood in the carotid artery.
The heart had still been pumping, unaware yet that the man was dead -- it had spurted horribly.
Ryou had taken off his coat before pulling out his knife, remembering Honda's warning, so he was able to hide most of the stains on his shirt and face; but he still had to wait until it was darker before sneaking into a gas station bathroom to wash up.
His shirt was a mess, and he'd have to wash both his coat and his scarf later, but at least his face looked clean and guileless again.
Ryou didn't go home afterwards. That would have meant sleeping, and the echoes of Bakura's dreams were not pleasant. He decided to walk around Domino instead.
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Ryou arrived at Honda's house a little before two a.m. He didn't know why he went there. He just did.
He found the brunet strapping a duffle bag onto his motorcycle outside the house's wall.
Honda only gave him a sparing glance. "You reek of blood," he said once Ryou was close enough to hear.
"Only to those like us." Ryou's voice was that of someone feeling lazy and well-fed. It made the other teenager's hands twitch, but only slightly.
Then Ryou blinked and took a step back. "Wait, is your dog outside? Will she bark?"
"She's dead," Honda said shortly.
". . . Oh. I'm sorry." Ryou stepped forward again. "What happened?"
"I killed her."
Ryou didn't reply for several moments, and when he did, his voice was very low. "You knew all this time that we could drink from animals?"
"We can't," Honda replied flatly. "I threw it all up."
Ryou was still staring at him with narrowed eyes. Honda could feel the gaze without looking. "I don't remember much after that, until I came around next to a really shredded up body." He let the straps hang lax in his hands. ". . . I told you, if you try to avoid eating, that auto-pilot thing kicks in. I'm surprised I didn't get caught then. . . ."
He trailed off, and soon began tying and tightening the straps again, going over a few that he'd already fixed without realizing it. Neither of them spoke for a quarter of a minute.
"You're running away?" Ryou asked, looking at the bike.
"I'm leaving," Honda corrected brusquely.
"It doesn't solve anything, you know," Ryou told him. "Trust me. You might think you can start over, but you're always going to be you."
"Shut up," Honda snarled. "He apologized to you, didn't he? He said he was going to."
"Yes."
Honda swore, and yanked viciously on the second-to-last strap. "I can't listen to that anymore. It's driving me crazy."
Ryou leaned against the wall. ". . . I guess guilt only comes when it's your human connection," he commented quietly.
Honda looked over at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing," Ryou replied, sliding his hands into his pockets. "I was just thinking."
Ryou watched in silence as Honda finished checking the straps over the duffle and swung onto his bike. When he picked up his helmet, Ryou spoke again.
"Sayonara, Honda."
Honda turned and gave him a look. "Do you really think we'll be that lucky?"
"I can hope," Ryou replied. "I can still do that."
". . . ." Honda looked like he was about to say something, but then the shield he kept around himself resealed its tiny crack, and he pulled on the helmet instead. "Sayonara, Bakura."
He started the motorcycle and kicked away from the curb. Honda drove quietly down the street, wanting to get as far as possible before his absence was noticed.
Ryou continued to lean against the wall for over ten minutes after Honda had disappeared from view. He ran his tongue absently along his fangs.
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It didn't matter what they hadn't managed to say that night. There would be plenty of time for those words when they met again, and were old enough to have changed.