Daisaigai smiled at all the people who had gathered here to read this fic. "Hello, everyone. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while, I'm just lazy.

Another thing I want to clarify. This is not a yaoi fic. I never write yaoi, yuri, hentai, or anything like that. It's creepy to read. I NEVER WILL WRITE A FIC LIKE THAT, SO PLEASE DO NOT EVEN ASK.

Well, now that I'm done ranting, it's time to start the fic," Daisaigai concluded her speech.

"Finally," grumbled everyone present. Except Ryou, of course. He was too polite.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Yami Marik carefully read the upside cookbook.

"What the heck IS this stuff anyway?"

The cookbook was written in that obnoxious type of flowery language, almost like a romance novel. It said things like, "Dear baker...the most important ingredient for every recipe is love..."

"Blech..." Yami Marik growled. He tossed that cookbook over his shoulder and grabbed another one.

The next cookbook had the same basic message. As if anyone would hug the mixing bowl in hopes of making the food taste better.

Yami Marik glanced through the next cookbook. It also was written in the same ludicrous manner as the first two.

After 2 hours of reading nearly every cookbook in the kitchen, he discovered that all recipes have the same basic concept:

1. Obtain random amounts of different ingredients.

2. Grab a bowl, throw all ingredients into bowl, and beat with mixer.

3. Dump mixture into cookie pan.

4. Turn the oven into the "ON" position.

5. Place pan in oven.

6. Let cook for 20 minutes.

7. Take out finished product, and let cool for 10 minutes.

There was really nothing to it.

Yami Marik immediately went through the cupboard in search of ingredients. He found several interesting items, including gummy bears, spaghetti sauce, yeast, baking soda, sprinkles, graham crackers, Fruit Loops, salt and vinegar chips, pickles, mustard, more salt and vinegar chips, Oreos, peanuts, a solitary package of salt, Cheerios, a "secret" stash of sugar, trail mix, bananas, even more salt and vinegar chips, clarinet reeds, Ramen noodles, and a large package of bubble gum which was used to torment the mad authoress when she became too annoying.

With a mad grin, Yami Marik seized the gummy bears, spaghetti sauce, yeast, baking soda, sprinkles, graham crackers, Fruit Loops, salt and vinegar chips, pickles, mustard, more salt and vinegar chips, Oreos, peanuts, the solitary package of salt, Cheerios, the "secret" stash of sugar, trail mix, bananas, even more salt and vinegar chips, clarinet reeds, Ramen noodles, the large package of bubble gum, and dumped it into the cookie pan which was sitting on the stove top. He was reading the directions on turning the stove on SAFELY, when Marik spotted the mess his yami was preparing to bake.

"YAMI!!!!!!!!"

"What?"

"You can't cook those chips while they're still in that FOIL bag!!!" Marik exclaimed, attempting to seize the bags of chips.

"Well why not? I've seen you put foil over a bowl, stick it in that black box thing-"

"Microwave."

"-yeah, that thing- set it on high, and laugh maniacally as you watched the foil inside the mi...cro...wa...ve."

Marik blanched. "Don't tell Isis that-"

Yami Marik grinned evilly. "Why not?"

Marik wisely kept his mouth shut.

Yami Marik turned back to his recipe, but Marik suddenly grabbed all the food on the cookie tray, and threw it into the living room. "You're NOT going to blow up the house. Just bake potatoes or something safe like that. Make SURE you poke holes in them before you bake them."

After he recovered from the loss of his highly "original" recipe, Yami Marik eagerly replied, "Why? What will happen? Will they blow up?"

Marik's mind suddenly went into high gear, something which didn't happen often. His thought process sounded something like this:

If I tell that buffoon that potatoes explode if he doesn't poke holes in them, than he will either be safe and not try it, or immediately throw and entire sack of potatoes into the oven, let cook for five minutes, and then open the door. Most likely, it will be the second choice. But Isis will kill me if I let that happen.

Oh well. It will be worth the spectacle. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH- pant, pant- HAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-cough-HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAHHA-

"Did you just thought laugh?" Fast-Talking Johnny suddenly asked, snickering.

"Er...no."

"Suuuuuure..."

"I did not!!!"

"Did too!!"

"Did NOT!!!"

"DID TOO!!"

"DID NOT!!"

"DID TOO!!"

"DID NOT!!"

"DID TOO!!"

"DID NOT!!"

"DID TOO!!"

"DID NOT!!"

"DID TOO!!"

"DID NOT!!"

"ALRIGHT ALREADY!!!" Daisaigai howled suddenly. "CAN I PLEASE STOP TYPING THIS SENSELESS ARGUMENT?!?!?!?!!?!"

Marik and Johnny were both silent, but each stuck their tongues out at the other.

"ANSWER ME!!!!"

A somewhat apologetic mutter came from the both of them.

"Good," Daisaigai said, turning back to her keyboard.

Yami Marik, who had been standing stationery with a blanker look than usual upon his face, turned back to the stove.

Ignoring the fact one needed oven mitts to put an object in the stove (which he had successfully turned on SAFELY), he grabbed a nearby bag of potatoes, and emptied the bag into the oven.

"OUCH!!! THAT ACCURSED CONTRAPTION JUST BURNED MY HANDS!!!!! AAAARGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!! DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

"You moron..." Marik slapped his forehead. He took out the Millennium Rod, and prevented his yami from sending the "accursed contraption" to the Shadow Realm.

After approximately five of struggle, Yami Marik "regained his composure", and watched as the oven finished cooking the potatoes. Marik searched for something he could shield himself with, so that he would not be struck in the eye and temporarily blinded by an airborne chunk of white-hot potato.

Yami Marik apparently did not consider the danger of allowing chunks of white-hot potato fly through the air. He opened the oven door.

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"OOOOOOOOO!!!!!! CLIFFIE!!!!!!! I AM SO-"

"Moronic?" Bakura suggested.

"QUIET, TOMB ROBBER!!! YOU ARE RUINING MY EVIL MOMENT!!!!!" Daisaigai (who else?) howled at the annoyed...er...tomb robber.

"NOW, AS I WAS SAYING-"

"Just leave a review, so she'll shut up already," Bakura, Marik, and Yami Marik said in unison.

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