Free Fertilizer!
Rated PG-13 for language and junk like that.
Comments: GAH! I don't own Secret Window or Johnny Depp or any of those other people. Although owning Johnny Depp would amuse me greatly, slavery is wrong.
Chapter One: Secret Window, Secret Plot
Mort, GAH, Shooter was busy burying the bodies in the garden when he decided what to do with it.
"Hum hum hum, la la la..."
"Oh look! I found a nickel! Ahem, I mean....I think I'll grow my corn here!"
DAYS LATER
The sheriff of the town came knocking at Mort's door. Mort was finally Mort again, although he knew his evil plan would still work, even though Shooter had left. Mort went to answer the door.
"Hey there, Sheriff! What's crackin lackin?" said Mort.
"Not much, home skillet. Heard you got braces," The Sheriff said.
Mort pointed to his braces and clicked his teeth.
"Oh yeah! And I came to accuse you of murder. But a really hot and sexy movie star with braces would never murder anyone." Sheriff said.
"True. Why would I, Johnny Depp...I mean...Mort Rainey...murder anyone? What would be my motive?" Mort/Johnny said.
"Exactly, so I'll just be going then...." The Sheriff said.
Unfortunately for his, Mort/Johnny had his murderous screwdriver handy and stabbed the poor sheriff dude in the back. He never had a chance.
"And you thought I was insane!" Mort/Johnny said. "Well, time to fertilize my corn again!"
Mort dragged the body outside to his corn garden and began to use his murderous shovel to dig a huge hole where some really nice corn was growing.
"YAY! Now my corn will really grow!"