Disclaimer: We are broke and we are making no money. Van Helsing is
property Universal Studios. All Teams, players and Euro 2004 belong to
UEFA. Depressing isn't it?
Anger Management
Dracula was going to his coffin for a good days sleep. But when he reached it, he found it covered in graffiti. There was a moustache, devils horns and thick, Vladislaus 13 style, glasses painted on the glass and thousands of signatures and doodles were drawn everywhere. The mini vampires had painted football flags on the lid, so Dracula had no escape from the never ending day mare.
"Calm..." he whispered to himself, "Remember what your anger management Therapist told you.......count to ten...to ten.....nine....eight....seven....AHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
"Well you got to seven! A new personal record."
Vladislaus Junior 1 dropped down from the stone ceiling and landed in front of his father. He unlike Vladislaus 13 had jet black hair which was spiked up with gel and a great deal of care had gone into it. He was also everything Vladislaus 13 wasn't. The perfect model son. He would have been extremely good looking if he hadn't been the living dead.
"Ahhh," said Dracula in a forced calm voice, "My First born......at least you have some sort of evil future ahead of you. At least you are not obsessed with Euro 2004!"
"Go Portugal!" cried the young vampire, producing a Portuguese flag from under his cloak.
Dracula's eyes widened and his son's wicked grin grew.
"Just kidding!"
"Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...Grrrrrrr!"
"Better, but next time try singing a nursery rhyme. It works for me when Vladislaus 13 is being difficult."
"Leave me son, go to your coffin!"
"All right! By the way," he said as he reached the door of the chamber, "I told them not to graffiti your coffin."
"Twinkle Twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are........Up.....above....the...wor...world.....so...AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
"Very well," said Dracula's therapist. "But before we start that again, I want you to take a trip back to your childhood!"
Dracula sighed. He was lying on a red couch in his therapist's office. Anger management seemed more and more like a chore each week than a helpful session. But the worst of it was, he had to pay!
"Ok! You want to know about my childhood? Born, 1432, murdered, 1462, made a deal with the devil, became a vampire."
"Is that it?"
"In a nutshell, yes!"
"I don't believe that is it, Vladislaus!" said the therapist with a beady look in his eyes.
"Call... me... Dracula!!!"
"Just tell me already, or you might drive ME to take anger management classes myself!"
"Alright.....................I WAS A FREAK!!!"
"A WHAT? Now we're getting somewhere!"
"A FREAK, A LOSER! A......," He covered his eyes with his hands, "GEEK! A complete and utter science geek!"
"So......not unlike your son, Vladislaus Junior 13, is it?"
"DON'T COMPARE ME WITH HIM!!! At least I'm not blond........anymore."
"Oh dear goodness!"
"Alright! I permanently died my hair when I became a vampire."
The physiatrist looked horrified and all together freaked out. He managed to continue, "Please go on Count. What made you become what you are tonight? "
"GABRIEL VAN HELSING!!"
"Really?" Spluttered the physiatrist. "Continue."
"He.......was never particularly nice to me....when we first met anyway."
"Ahhh, a bully! Yes, that is very common......it does cause dramatic changes in some people lives.....and in this case dramatic changes in the after life. I think you should consider going to Father-Son classes with Vladislaus 13. I will give you an address of a good society I know of. You may find that you are more similar....."
"Do not use the words you, Vladislaus 13 and similar in the same sentence!"
"Actually, I never did," smiled the Therapist, "Now let's try the song again, and one, two, three..."
"Twinkle, Twinkle little star, how...I.....AHHHHHHH!"
A.N This is considerably weirder than our other two fics! Give us a little freedom it is our first Van Helsing one! Stay tuned for the next exiting, crazy and totally off the wall episode! Thorney & Sweetdeath04
Anger Management
Dracula was going to his coffin for a good days sleep. But when he reached it, he found it covered in graffiti. There was a moustache, devils horns and thick, Vladislaus 13 style, glasses painted on the glass and thousands of signatures and doodles were drawn everywhere. The mini vampires had painted football flags on the lid, so Dracula had no escape from the never ending day mare.
"Calm..." he whispered to himself, "Remember what your anger management Therapist told you.......count to ten...to ten.....nine....eight....seven....AHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
"Well you got to seven! A new personal record."
Vladislaus Junior 1 dropped down from the stone ceiling and landed in front of his father. He unlike Vladislaus 13 had jet black hair which was spiked up with gel and a great deal of care had gone into it. He was also everything Vladislaus 13 wasn't. The perfect model son. He would have been extremely good looking if he hadn't been the living dead.
"Ahhh," said Dracula in a forced calm voice, "My First born......at least you have some sort of evil future ahead of you. At least you are not obsessed with Euro 2004!"
"Go Portugal!" cried the young vampire, producing a Portuguese flag from under his cloak.
Dracula's eyes widened and his son's wicked grin grew.
"Just kidding!"
"Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...Grrrrrrr!"
"Better, but next time try singing a nursery rhyme. It works for me when Vladislaus 13 is being difficult."
"Leave me son, go to your coffin!"
"All right! By the way," he said as he reached the door of the chamber, "I told them not to graffiti your coffin."
"Twinkle Twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are........Up.....above....the...wor...world.....so...AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
"Very well," said Dracula's therapist. "But before we start that again, I want you to take a trip back to your childhood!"
Dracula sighed. He was lying on a red couch in his therapist's office. Anger management seemed more and more like a chore each week than a helpful session. But the worst of it was, he had to pay!
"Ok! You want to know about my childhood? Born, 1432, murdered, 1462, made a deal with the devil, became a vampire."
"Is that it?"
"In a nutshell, yes!"
"I don't believe that is it, Vladislaus!" said the therapist with a beady look in his eyes.
"Call... me... Dracula!!!"
"Just tell me already, or you might drive ME to take anger management classes myself!"
"Alright.....................I WAS A FREAK!!!"
"A WHAT? Now we're getting somewhere!"
"A FREAK, A LOSER! A......," He covered his eyes with his hands, "GEEK! A complete and utter science geek!"
"So......not unlike your son, Vladislaus Junior 13, is it?"
"DON'T COMPARE ME WITH HIM!!! At least I'm not blond........anymore."
"Oh dear goodness!"
"Alright! I permanently died my hair when I became a vampire."
The physiatrist looked horrified and all together freaked out. He managed to continue, "Please go on Count. What made you become what you are tonight? "
"GABRIEL VAN HELSING!!"
"Really?" Spluttered the physiatrist. "Continue."
"He.......was never particularly nice to me....when we first met anyway."
"Ahhh, a bully! Yes, that is very common......it does cause dramatic changes in some people lives.....and in this case dramatic changes in the after life. I think you should consider going to Father-Son classes with Vladislaus 13. I will give you an address of a good society I know of. You may find that you are more similar....."
"Do not use the words you, Vladislaus 13 and similar in the same sentence!"
"Actually, I never did," smiled the Therapist, "Now let's try the song again, and one, two, three..."
"Twinkle, Twinkle little star, how...I.....AHHHHHHH!"
A.N This is considerably weirder than our other two fics! Give us a little freedom it is our first Van Helsing one! Stay tuned for the next exiting, crazy and totally off the wall episode! Thorney & Sweetdeath04