Disclaimer: We are broke and we are making no money. Van Helsing is property Universal Studios. All Teams, players and Euro 2004 belong to UEFA. Depressing isn't it? Don't own The Italian Job either.
Like Father, Like Son
When Dracula returned from his Anger Management session, he was trembling. His therapist had booked him in for Father and Son communication classes. He deeply wished that he could have chosen which son to take, for he would have chosen Vladislaus 1, but no! He was stuck with Vladislaus 13, naturally.
He decided to retreat to his coffin for the day, and he would tell his son in the evening. That day, his dreams were haunted by physiatrists' couches and Portugal flags.
"THERE IS NO WAY IN THIS LIFETIME, OR ANY OTHER, THAT I AM GOING TO FATHER AND SON BONDING CLASSES WITH……WITH YOU!!!" Vladislaus 13 screamed at his father.
As if his parents evening hadn't been bad enough! Now he had been booked into bonding classes with his freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional crack-pot of a father!
"Twinkle Twinkle little star-"
"What are you doing?"
"How I wonder…what you… ar…ar…
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
"Vlad, are you singing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star', or is it just me?"
Dracula reached for his son to hurt him in anyway possible, but thought better of it. It might be better to just let him suffer with the Bonding Classes. Only problem with that plan was, Dracula would have to suffer too.
"I can handle this," he breathed. "And you're coming to these classes because I say you are!"
"Over my dead body!"
"You're already dead!" exclaimed Dracula at his son.
"Well, you don't have to rub it in!"
Vladislaus growled.
"This is what we doooo at Father and Son Bonding Classessss!"
The instructor had a very flowy and overall CLAM voice that was driving Dracula insane.
"Weee, talk about our past, future and…our relationship."
She turned to face Dracula and his son, and found both of them wearing the same expression that Dracula had given his Brides before they had left.
Well, she thought, they are defiantly Father and Son.
"I refuse to speak to him!" Dracula shrieked. "I've spent fifteen years of his death not talking to him, and I don't intend to start now!"
"You were speaking to me when you told me that I had to come to this Devil forsaken place."
"I prefer to think that I ordered you to come!"
"You were still talking to me, or was that your identical twin?" he said, sarcasm layering his voice.
"Ba ba black sheep have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir three bags fuuulllllAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!"
"FuuulllllAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!"
"What was that for?" asked Dracula, livid.
"What was that for?" repeated his son, grinning.
"Don't do that!" warned Dracula, tone menacing.
"Don't do that!" The tone of voice was exactly the same, but the facial expression differed entirely.
"This is childish!" screamed Dracula.
"This is childish!"
A though came to Dracula, but he was a fool to try and outwit his genius of a son.
"I'M AN IDIOT!!!" he cried.
"Finally, you've accepted the truth! This is a major breakthrough!"
"………AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
After the slight uproar, the instructor decided that this was a good way to end the lesson, and her career.
"Okkkkk," she said calmly, although she was trembling internally, "I think that is a good way to end this weeks lesson. On our next night together-" she stopped as she realized that Dracula and Vladislaus 13 had already scarpered from the room.
She sighed. It was time to hand in her resignation.
A.N. We send our condolences to anyone who was supporting Portugal in Euro 2004 as we were. SOB!!! BOO WHO!!! And our (teeth clenched) congratulations, to Greece. GRRRRRRRR! (Pleasant voice) next chapter up soon! Keep reading!
Sweetdeath04 & Thorney
Like Father, Like Son
When Dracula returned from his Anger Management session, he was trembling. His therapist had booked him in for Father and Son communication classes. He deeply wished that he could have chosen which son to take, for he would have chosen Vladislaus 1, but no! He was stuck with Vladislaus 13, naturally.
He decided to retreat to his coffin for the day, and he would tell his son in the evening. That day, his dreams were haunted by physiatrists' couches and Portugal flags.
"THERE IS NO WAY IN THIS LIFETIME, OR ANY OTHER, THAT I AM GOING TO FATHER AND SON BONDING CLASSES WITH……WITH YOU!!!" Vladislaus 13 screamed at his father.
As if his parents evening hadn't been bad enough! Now he had been booked into bonding classes with his freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional crack-pot of a father!
"Twinkle Twinkle little star-"
"What are you doing?"
"How I wonder…what you… ar…ar…
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
"Vlad, are you singing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star', or is it just me?"
Dracula reached for his son to hurt him in anyway possible, but thought better of it. It might be better to just let him suffer with the Bonding Classes. Only problem with that plan was, Dracula would have to suffer too.
"I can handle this," he breathed. "And you're coming to these classes because I say you are!"
"Over my dead body!"
"You're already dead!" exclaimed Dracula at his son.
"Well, you don't have to rub it in!"
Vladislaus growled.
"This is what we doooo at Father and Son Bonding Classessss!"
The instructor had a very flowy and overall CLAM voice that was driving Dracula insane.
"Weee, talk about our past, future and…our relationship."
She turned to face Dracula and his son, and found both of them wearing the same expression that Dracula had given his Brides before they had left.
Well, she thought, they are defiantly Father and Son.
"I refuse to speak to him!" Dracula shrieked. "I've spent fifteen years of his death not talking to him, and I don't intend to start now!"
"You were speaking to me when you told me that I had to come to this Devil forsaken place."
"I prefer to think that I ordered you to come!"
"You were still talking to me, or was that your identical twin?" he said, sarcasm layering his voice.
"Ba ba black sheep have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir three bags fuuulllllAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!"
"FuuulllllAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!"
"What was that for?" asked Dracula, livid.
"What was that for?" repeated his son, grinning.
"Don't do that!" warned Dracula, tone menacing.
"Don't do that!" The tone of voice was exactly the same, but the facial expression differed entirely.
"This is childish!" screamed Dracula.
"This is childish!"
A though came to Dracula, but he was a fool to try and outwit his genius of a son.
"I'M AN IDIOT!!!" he cried.
"Finally, you've accepted the truth! This is a major breakthrough!"
"………AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
After the slight uproar, the instructor decided that this was a good way to end the lesson, and her career.
"Okkkkk," she said calmly, although she was trembling internally, "I think that is a good way to end this weeks lesson. On our next night together-" she stopped as she realized that Dracula and Vladislaus 13 had already scarpered from the room.
She sighed. It was time to hand in her resignation.
A.N. We send our condolences to anyone who was supporting Portugal in Euro 2004 as we were. SOB!!! BOO WHO!!! And our (teeth clenched) congratulations, to Greece. GRRRRRRRR! (Pleasant voice) next chapter up soon! Keep reading!
Sweetdeath04 & Thorney