Chapter 5 A Helping Hand

Robert sat there and stared at the picture, and then he raised his hand to the photo and brushed against it. A single tear rolled down his cheek. Jayne pulled Robert to her.

"God, Robert, I'm sorry. I was not thinking... I shouldn't have gotten the album out."

"No, it's okay. I should be over her by now."

"Hey, it's okay to have a cry every now and then. I miss her and she wasn't even my kid. It's also okay to talk about her, as well."

"I just wish she was still here. You know, it hurts so much sometimes I wish I'd died with her."

"Shh, don't say that. I know it must be hard for you but you must never give up."

"Hard? Tell me Jayne, what is there left? I have no daughter, no left arm, and soon no job. It would be a lot better if I just ended it. I don't think I can take much more."

Jayne sat down in front of Robert and took his face in her hands. "Listen to me... you would not be better off dead. I know you've had it tough and you have never used that to do anything but drive you on.

"That is what you are going to do this time, but you are going to have help for once. You and me, we'll get through this together, do you hear me?"

Robert blinked back the tears. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get all emotional on you, I'm fine, really, it must be the wine. This is supposed to be a party to celebrate your new job, not a This Is Your Life, Robert Romano episode."

Jayne smiled. "That's okay. You've been through a lot and you've done it all on your own. It's time you had someone to sound off to, and from now on, I am going to be here to help you, do you hear me, Robert?

"You and I will get thought this together."

"Okay," Robert said with a small, nervous smile. "I propose a toast... to friends being there for each other, and to your new job, Jayne." Jayne and Robert raised their glasses. "You, Jayne, are either a very brave or very stupid women letting me to use you to sound off on.'

"Probably a bit of both," Jayne said. "And don't worry, Robert. You know I can give as good as I get and don't forget it." She raised her glass. "To friends being there for one another," she said.

Jayne and Robert toasted again, and then finished their meal.

After, they curled up on the sofa and watched TV. Neather one of them was paying any attention to what was on the TV, however, so Jayne picked up the remote and turned it off.

"Can I ask you something, Robert?"

"Go on."

"If you hate the ER so much, why stay? Why you don't you find something else, something that would make you happy?"

Robert sat up and looked at Jayne. "Find something else like what? I'm a middle-aged man with one arm. I'm too old to train to be something else. I'm not a very good doctor, but I was the world's best surgeon and when you lose that, there is nothing that can make you happy. So I stay because it's better than staying at home all day, thinking about all I've lost and that there is nothing left for me to gain."

Jayne took hold of Robert's hand. "Robert, you are a good doctor. It's just the ER is making you so unhappy I think it would be best if you found something else. What about teaching?"

"And let them drive me out?" Jayne could see the anger boiling in his eyes. She was worried that she had pushed things too far.

Seeing the fear in Jayne's eyes, he took a gulp of wine to try to calm himself down before he continued, "I know it doesn't make any sense to you, but I cannot let them do that to me. Please, don't worry about me, I'll be fine, Jayne. Honest."

Jayne looked into Robert's brown eyes. She could see all the hurt in them, and she wished she could help. She knew he was not going to be fine if she left him on his own and she was determined to find a way to help him.

She just had to figure out how.