Disclaimer: We are broke and we are making no money. Van Helsing is property Universal Studios. All Teams, players and Euro 2004 belong to UEFA. Depressing isn't it? And we don't own worms 3D, see if you can spot the reference.
Juvenile Delinquent
Dracula woke up hours later in the completely deserted room. The first thought that passed through his head was 'something is wrong'. The second was 'who am I?'
The memories started coming back to him... slowly... slowly...slowly...
He remembered his name, the names of his Brides and the names of wonderful, darling children!
Of course not all memories came back and the brain had to fill in the blanks... with stuff that never happened...
He remembered teaching all his children how to hunt... FAKE!!!
He remembered reading to the kids just before sunrise... LIES!!!
He remembered showing them how to walk up walls... TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH!!!
And he remembered that he was going to teach them all how to play a musical instrument... Well, it would be TRUTH soon enough...
With that, he sprang to his feet. It was still dark outside so he went down to the nearest music store and bought two thousand string instruments, two thousand brass instruments, two thousand woodwind instruments, two thousand percussion, and two thousand pianos.
Let's just say he had a hard time getting it all back to the castle, with all two thousand grand pianos.
The next evening the children woke up to an unhappy surprise. The instrument their father had chosen for them was sitting at the end of the bed, yes even the pianos.
They had all rushed to Dracula to complain but he simply ignored them and told them to go and practice.
"It's not fair," muttered Vladislaus 13, as he walked away with his French horn.
But there was one person Dracula couldn't get to play his instrument.
"But it's a beautiful violin!" protested Dracula.
"It's," Vladislaus 1 held the violin away from him, "PINK!!"
"Well it's all they had left!"
"Why couldn't you at least give me a blue one, like Marishka 728?"
"Because blue's her favourite colour!"
"No it's not, its pink!"
"Don't lie Vlady!" the young vampire cringed at the nickname his brother had christened his father. Dracula leaned forward and whispered into his son's ear, "Besides, I know pinks your favourite colour!"
Vladislaus 1 growled, "It's not my favourite colour......IT'S A GIRLS COLOUR!!!"
..........
He couldn't believe it. His father had sent him to a military school.... A girls military school.
There was a huge line of girls in a huge hall and a very fat female officer was shouting instructions.
"ABOUT TURN! QUICK MARCH! AT EASE!"
Everyone was wearing camouflage clothes and because it was a girls school, there wasn't a boys uniform and Vladislaus 1 had to wear the girls clothes.
Right now he was wearing trousers, which wasn't so bad.
But there was a formal uniform.
It consisted of a white blouse, red tie, a navy blazer, with the school emblem on it and a navy, knee length, SKIRT!
"So," Vladislaus 1 muttered to the girl on his right, she was tall and dark and blowing bubblegum, "What did you do to get put in here?"
She turned her head toward him, "Blew up a post box."
He gulped. The girl behind him whispered in his ear, "I was put in here for being too cheerful and happy all the time!" he could almost hear her jumping around instead of marching, "FLOWERS! TEDDYBEARS! FAIRYCAKES!"
Vladislaus 1 shuddered involuntary. "What about you?" The girl on his right swivelled to face him, and said dreamily, "I packed my ex-boyfriend full of explosives," Vladislaus 1's mouth dropped open, "Then I threw him in the fire. The whole castle exploded but that's not my problem."
Vladislaus 1 edged away from the girl.
"You afraid of me kid?"
He wisely chose not to answer but stared at his marching feet instead.
"AT EASE!" shouted the instructor. Vladislaus had not been paying attention, so when all the girls stopped in a nice, neat line, he kept walking, in fact he walked right into the instructor.
"Head up, boy! On the floor and give me twenty!"
"What?" Vladislaus 1 looked up, bewildered.
"YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS YOUR SUPIRIOR! ON THE FLOOR AND GIVE ME TWENTY PUSH UPS NOW!!!"
"But you're so fat you couldn't do push ups, so why should we?" mumbled Vladislaus without thinking.
The instructors rage was so obvious that even Dracula would have spotted it!
"Well look who joined the army! Privet Stupid!"
Later that night Vladislaus found himself forced to do one hundred push ups and then clean out the toilet.
He had a feeling that he wasn't going to like it here.
..........
Back in Castle Dracula the vampire of the house was feeling quite pleased with himself. He had thought it a suitable punishment for the boy to go to a female school to find his feminine side.
He laughed to himself. His son stuck in that old school with all those girls!
Wait a second.
One boy, one hundred and ninety-nine girls...
Stuck in a boarding military school...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dracula screamed and he screamed and he screamed!
He was too young to be a Granddad!
With that, he flew out the window to retrieve his son.
..........
"It's so good to be home!" cried Vladislaus 1 when he entered the castle.
Dracula flopped down on a chair.
"Sure. Yeah. Right."
A.N. We know it's been a while but there's been a lot of problems with holidays.
We have discovered that we like pink things and blowing things up... even though we really despise pink!
If you didn't know that you can get coloured violins... well, Sweetdeath04 has a purple one!
Please R & R!
Sweetdeath04 & Thorney