Disclaimer: We are broke and we are making no money. Van Helsing is property Universal Studios. All Teams, players and Euro 2004 belong to UEFA. Depressing isn't it?

Stood up

Vladislaus 13 walked dejectedly down the corridor. He had supposed to be meeting Alexia again, but this time she hadn't turned up.

It was probable that he had been ditched for another guy. Vladislaus had no idea how close he was to the truth, or how disturbing that truth would be when it was revealed.

Boys were supposed to go to their fathers when girl trouble arose, and that's what he intended to do, though somewhat reluctantly.

But as he approached his father's chamber, he heard giggling.

Wait a second! Giggling?

Maybe his mother was home! Fat chance, well he could always hope.

But then, he pricked up his ears. He knew that voice. It was......ALEXIA!!!!! And Blake!!!

Vladislaus ran at the door, and started pounding on it with all the dignity he could manage.

"Alexia!! I know you're in there! Open up!"

And they did just that. However Vladislaus 13 hadn't been expecting it, and fell flat on his face.

When he looked up, a disturbing sight met his eyes.

His father was standing in pink pyjamas looking down on him. And not only was he pink......he was blond.

Vladislaus had to try very hard not to scream. He was scared, even more scared than he had be when he found his father trying on his mother's lipstick!

He had just had time to register this horrific scene and realise that there was only one thing worse and more humiliating than being stood up. That one thing was being stood up, for your father, when several pairs of hands reached out to grab him and draw him in to the evil, pink and fluffy side.

He jumped up and pulled himself free of their grasp and yelled, "NO! YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!"

He stood in his heroic position, and everyone stared. Then in one voice they all replied, "But you're not alive!"

Vladislaus looked around them, there was Blake in her black pyjamas with the skull and crossbones and was carrying a teddy bear that was missing its head, two other girls he didn't recognise, and, he almost cried, Alexia, his dear Alexia cradling some hair straightening utensils. They were all standing in the middle of the room with their sleeping bags, magazines, a mountain of junk food, pictures of famous boys (Brad Pitt, Justin Timberlake, and Orlando Bloom, are just some examples to prove how mentally deranged these people were), a pile of chick flick movies, stuffed toys, make up, mobile phones (even Dracula's was there though it took up most of the room), Love Song CD's, the rest of the things that occupied the room were of such a grotesque horror that Vladislaus couldn't bear to look upon them.

"Come and join us," they said together in a Zombie like fashion.

"What are you doing here?" he asked his voice trembling.

There was a long pause and then.............. "SLUMBER PARTY!!!!!!!" the girls and Dracula yelled, jumping up and down and falling onto a pile of cushions.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Vladislaus 13 didn't know where he was running. All he knew was that he was running. Running as far away from those demons as possible.

Finally, out of breath, he came to a halt outside a door.

His mother was gone, his father was deranged and his girlfriend had left him. There was only one person who he could turn to in his hour of need.

He knocked three times on the door.

"Come in!" a voice said.

Vladislaus 13 walked slowly into the room and closed the door behind him. "I need your help," he said almost nervously to the back of a chair.

When the chair spun around, he wouldn't have been surprised to find a white Persian cat on the knee of its occupant.

"What could you possibly want from me?"

A.N. During writing this we were listening to Franz Ferdinand; Michael, which might explain why Dracula looks so gay in this chapter.

As for the Evil, Pink and Fluffy side, Sweetdeath04, Thorney and our friends, Here comes the Hockey-Puck and Rosy-Posy-Pudding and Pie wage a constant war against the agents of the Pink and Fluffy side. Even though Sweetdeath04 is wearing pink right now.

We wage our war as Sweetdeath04 practices Karate, as did Here comes the Hockey-Puck, and Thorney and Rosy-Posy practice Jujitsu. If only we knew Kung Fu.........

Thorney and Sweetdeath04