Thhheeeee Eeeeevvvviiiilllll TV Cllliiiiiickeeerrrrrr Frroooommmmm Thheeee Fuuuutuuuurrre Part 10: Thank GAWD it's almost over!
::now available in 12 new flavors, including fat-free cotton candy flavored yogurt with peanut butter topping!::
A note from the lazy author:: OMG! Am I UPDATING? AUGH! It's like totally completely the end of the freakin' world here! Well...jeez I just wanna finish this up so I can write another ETVCT fic about another anime...mwahaha...with random fangirling and the usual insanity! Ahaha! I'm so cool! Now read, my little minions, read!
Alright, so when we last left off, Cam and company were about to go and rescue Yahiko...weren't they? They'd devised a plan and invited Miroku to tag along with them...alright so it was Cam's idea, but who's keeping track? The trio walked down the dirt path that would, according to Cam, lead them right to Mr. Stranger's hideout. Unless, of course, Cam's sense of direction was as bad as her taste in men.
Kenshin staggered along behind Cam and Miroku, who both seemed bound together at their hands. He had been carrying the unconscious Sanosuke over his shoulder for the past three miles. Now those of you with good memories will recall that Mr. Stranger's hideout was only supposed to be a mile down the road. This is very true, however you have to add in the extra two miles it took for the four of them to take a detour into town for a nice ramen dinner (which Cam volunteered Kenshin to treat them all to). Sanosuke had been unconscious the entire time, slumped over onto the table beside Kenshin with swirly eyes, so they had packed up his ramen and put it into a doggy bag which was currently strapped to Kenshin's back as well.
Cam stopped and turned around, her free hand resting on her hip impatiently. "Kenshin! Hurry up, we don't have all night you know!" It was simply amazing that ten chapters had passed and it was finally getting dark. As Miroku grabbed her ass again, they watched Kenshin's knees begin to buckle under the weight he was carrying. After all he was only a little guy. Even Cam was taller than he was. "Hey! Suck it up you sissy boy, are you a man or what?" Cam began to tap her wristwatch repeatedly, signalling for him to hurry up.
"Oro..." Kenshin began to sweat. "I'm doing the best I can, that I am..."
"Well your best needs to get better mister, or we'll never rescue Yahiko! ...Maybe you should just leave Sagara behind...he's only dead weight and he's slowing us down."
"That's quite cruel of you to say," Kenshin panted as he climbed the last few feet up the hill they'd been ascending. "He DID save your life you know."
Cam, who was acting very bitchy because the author just decided to make her that way, only snorted, "Pah...I could have saved myself you know! If you're going to take forever, then me and my HUNKY LOVER-MAN can just go into those bushes over there and--"
"A-hem!" Kenshin cleared his throat. "If you wish to do that, I'm simply going on without you. It's obvious that you really don't care about rescuing Yahiko, so there's really no need to continue traveling together."
Cam hung her head in shame. He was right, the gnomes would never reach the end of the rainbow with the evil clowns in their way...oh wait, that was something else. At any rate, she felt ashamed of the way she'd been acting. If this was a movie, she would blame the writer, but since she's only a character in a twisted, nonsensical fanfic, all she could do was whatever the writer made her do.
"Kenshin...I'm really sorry," she said quietly. "Here...let me carry some of that junk for you."
Kenshin gave her a smile. "Thank you," he said as he began to hand over some of the large suitcases she was also making him lug around.
Cam stopped him, shaking her head. "Oh no, I didn't mean those...I was talking about Sanosuke!"
Kenshin almost face-vaulted, although considering everything he was currently carrying, that would have been a huge mistake. "You want to carry Sano? He's a lot heavier than your suitcases..."
"Oh I can handle it, trust me, I'm tough! I'm BEEFY!" She struck a pose, which really only made her look even more retarded, if that was even possible for somebody like her. "Now come on, hand him over! Actually, toss him to me!!!"
Kenshin knew it wouldn't be a good idea to just throw Sanosuke around like a sack of potatoes, so instead he ignored her and gently set his friend onto her back. "Are you sure you can hold him?"
Cam nodded vigorously, now carrying Sanosuke piggy-back style. "Yeah yeah I got him! No worries, you can count on me!" The second the last word escaped her mouth, she slowly and comically toppled over backwards onto the ground--er, actually Sanosuke was on the ground and she fell onto him.
Kenshin just stared at her for a second, before helping her back up. "I think it's best if I carry Sanosuke, that I do. But thank you for offering." Somehow he managed to pick up Sano and place him over his shoulder again without dropping anything he was carrying. "But would you please carry some of these suitcases?"
Cam grinned and dusted herself off. "Oh, alright. Hand 'em over!"
Kenshin placed three of her suitcases into her outstretched arms. "What's in these suitcases anyway? They're heavy!"
"Bricks," she answered with a cheery smile.
"B-bricks? Oro...oro...the question 'why' comes to mind...although I'm really not sure I even want to know..."
Miroku just stood there the whole time, being unusually quiet and staring at them with a blank expression on his face. Why? Because...well, just because. Maybe he was feeling stupid, who knows? And if so, really, who can blame him? After all, he's in a fanfic that has absolutely no point at all. That would leave anyone feeling just a little lost, don't you think?
"ANYWAY!" Cam suddenly exclaimed as she stood up straight with her suitcases, looking all serious for probably the first time in her life. "Kenshin...you truly are a motivational speaker. Your words, they really touched my heart and now I feel like I can do anything if I put my mind to it!" She sighed as she received a childhood flashback. "I swear, I haven't been this moved in years, ever since that day when my mother said 'CAM!!! GET DOWN FROM THAT TELEPHONE POLE RIGHT NOW YOU IDIOT!!!!' I know we've come an awful long way since we met...we've made friends and enemies together...but..." She began to sniffle and chibi tears poured out of her eyes, "I'll never forget what you said...that one word, it changed me completely! It's so simple, yet means so much: 'Oro'...it was totally inspiring!!!"
Kenshin, ignoring all the weight that currently depended on him, twitched and promptly fell over.
Cam smiled at him. "Ah, Kenshin...I know my words really had an effect on you. I tend to do that to people. They find me downright inspirational myself! But please, this isn't about me. I must thank you for all that you've done for me. From this day forward, I'm a changed woman!!!"
Miroku suddenly had stars in his eyes, and he began to clap. "YAY CAM! THAT WAS TERRIFIC!!" He hopped up and down in a very OOC manner, giggling like a schoolgirl on crack.
Cam bowed. "Thank you, my lovely bishounen of sexiness! Now...LET'S GET THAT MR. STRANGER PERSON!!"
"Right, right..." Kenshin sat up and gathered everything he'd dropped when he hit the ground. "Oro..." He noticed Cam and Miroku skipping merrily in the direction of a dark cave entrance. "C-Cam! Please wait for me!" Scrambling to his feet, Kenshin took off running as fast as he could go under the weight of Sanosuke and other various objects. "It could be dangerous, de gozarou...you must not go in there by yourselves!"
Cam turned around and shrugged. "Why the hell not? By now all the readers know that Mr. Stranger is just a random, lame pansy-ass excuse of a villain with homosexual tendencies."
Kenshin let out a mushroom sigh. "At any rate...I'm afraid we're going to have to leave this extra luggage outside. We can't have it getting in the way should we become involved in battle, that we most certainly cannot."
Cam smirked. "Yeah...Sano would only get in the way anyway...hahaha! I made a funny!"
Kenshin just rolled his eyes and sighed. "That isn't what I meant at all." He put down the suitcases and Sano's doggy bag. Sano, who was still very much unconscious for some strange reason, remained draped over one of Kenshin's shoulders.
Cam clapped her hands together. "Alright. Now let's go KICK SOME ASS!" She jumped in the air and pumped her fists, excited that they were all finally at the one point in the fanfic that nobody thought they would ever get to--the actual fight! (I was going to say 'climax'...but to me, that just sounds too dirty...hehehe).
Kenshin nodded. "Yes, indeed. It's time to get back what we've lost."
Suddenly two men appeared in a huge puff of smoke in front of them. One of them, an adorable blond with spikey hair and gorgeous brown eyes, and the other an ugly brown haired guy....... ::cough::.....err, just kidding!! Couldn't resist... A-hem, I mean a hott sexy guy whose brown hair was even spikier than the blond's and had piercing deep blue eyes partially masked by purple sunglasses. They stood back to back, looking pleased with themselves.
The brown-haired guy smirked. "Lost something important, I hear? Well consider yourselves lucky, because we're having a special today. I'm Ban Midou..."
"And I'm Ginji Amano!" The blond added cheerfully.
"We're the GetBackers. We 'get back' what shouldn't be gone, with a success rate of..." Ban coughed just then, and the three of them could swear they heard the word 'almost' hidden in the cough, "...one hundred percent! Of course, we don't work cheap...but if you've got the cash, then we've got the time!" He gave them all his best salesman smile, while Ginji sweatdropped.
"............" Kenshin stared at them, too busy wondering how they got there to process what they were saying.
"Ummm guys...I think you have the wrong series," Cam pointed out. "GetBackers is a few alternate dimensions to the left of here..."
"Oh really?" Ginji scratched the back of his head, looking a little embarrassed. "Ban-chan...we messed up..."
Ban shoved his hands into his pockets. "Tch! Damn confusing interdimensional portals!" Ban grumbled. "I swear I don't get paid enough to waste time screwing around like this... Well come on Ginji, we're outta here."
"Hai!" Ginji grinned and nodded, and the two of them disappeared in the same puff of smoke they appeared in.
"Well..." Kenshin said after they had gone. "That certainly was strange, wasn't it?"
"Yeah..." Cam answered. "But that blond guy sure was cute!"
"HMPH! He wasn't that great," Miroku pouted and crossed his arms.
"AWWWW is my honey-sweetie-baby-darling-hottie-lover-man jealous?" Cam patted Miroku's head (errr that sounds wrong too...meep...I didn't mean it like THAT jeez! Oh just ignore me, I've had way too much caffiene today...). "Ok Kenshin, let's finally go save Yahiko and put an end to this pathetic fanfic!"
Kenshin nodded. "Alright. I'm glad we're finally getting somewhere. If you're ready, then let's go into the cave."
"Yeah! I'm ready to rock!" Cam grinned and skipped into the cave like the happy little lunatic she was, dragging Miroku behind her. Kenshin strode in after them, ready for anything with Sanosuke still slung over his shoulder like dead weight.
What's going to happen next? You're all going to have to wait for the next chapter (which will also be the conclusion of this fanfic (FINALLY)) to find out! Stay tuned, loyal...fans? Err...or 'readers that are bored out of their minds to read this crap', either way, see ya then!
Another note from the lazy author:: ... Oh yeah, and a word to the wise: messing with the hyper can be hazardous to your health. Bwahaha! I had so much coffee today I swear if you pricked me, I'd bleed the stuff. WHOO! Yeah, my hand was shaking as I poured my fourth cup...think I'm hyper yet?? A-hem well anyways...yes, the next chapter is going to be the LAST for this story. Although it won't be the last Evil TV Clicker Thing fanfic. I won't stop until I've invaded every anime! Mwahahahahaha I'm so evil and stuff...or something. Anyway yeah...I'll try to get the next chapter posted sooner and not wait months to update...ehehe...hehe...right. Anyway, I know you'll all be good little readers and review, right?! ::smiles sweetly::