The Evil TV Clicker Thing From The FUTURE Part 11: The Horrible Conclusion, OMG SO BAD!

::warning: Fanfic may be hazardous to your health...those of stable mentality are strongly recommended to get out while you still can...you have been warned!::

A note from the stupid-ass author:: OMG OMG OMG IT'S THE ENDING!! Aww I hope you guys aren't too sad...I'm not. Hell, I finally get to free myself of the ties that bind me to this fanfic! You DO know that none of this was EVER planned in advance...it was all completely random! Randomness is totally spatular! ...Did that make sense? ::pat pat:: There there, faithful minions. Have a cookie! ::cheesy grin:: And remember, sanity is over-rated!

The cave was dark when they entered...I mean of course it was dark, it was a friggin' cave after all. Kenshin wished he'd thought to bring a torch along with them, but alas they were forced to stumble around in complete darkness. Everything was completely quiet save for the random dripping noises, the pitter-patter of footsteps, and the sound of everyone breathing.

Suddenly the silence was broken. "Are we there yet?" Cam whined. "I'm really starting to get bored."

"You're really starting to get annoying," Kenshin mumbled.

"What was that, Kenshin?"

"Oh...nothing, nothing at all."

"Hey, look," Miroku interrupted as he stopped in front of them. Of course they couldn't see him stop, so everyone ran into him and practically knocked him over before they realized he meant for them to stop as well.

"Lover-man! What gives?" Cam rubbed her forehead.

"There is a light up there, near the end of this tunnel," he explained.

"That must be where Yahiko is being kept," Kenshin deducted.

"Well then...let's go get the little brat!" Cam took off towards the light. What she was going to do when she got there, she didn't know...since she was an idiot, after all. It's not like she could do a whole lot, either...well except for getting everyone into worse trouble. And she was very good at that. Oh yes indeed she was. Also, for those of you who aren't quick enough to catch on by now, she had a real knack for pissing people off and annoying the hell out of them. Just what WAS her purpose anyway? The world may never know.

Kenshin sighed and trudged after her, wishing Sanosuke would regain consciousness soon. If things were to get messy, he'd need all the help he could get. "M-Miss Camille!" Kenshin called out. "You really should wait for me!"

Cam stopped at the light, which turned out to be the entrance to a bright room, and turned around. "IT'S OKAY KENSHIN I CAN SEE YAHIKO FROM HERE!!" She screamed, waving back to him. "THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM! THEY'RE LOOKING AT ME...HI!!!!" She turned and waved to Yahiko, who couldn't see her anyway because he was tied up and had his back to her, and Mr. Stranger, who had been sitting cross-legged in a leopard print chair.

Mr. Stranger, the weird man...er, he-she...clad in a black ninja outfit, suddenly perked up upon being greeted. "Oh hello there! Welcome, WELCOME to my evil lair! Please do come in and make yourselves at home, I just had the entire place redecorated! See? Don't those rainbow curtains go GREAT with the rocky cave walls? EEEE! It was all thanks to my creative genius!" He jumped up and down, clapping his hands together with glee. "And now that you're all here, we can really have a party! Check out these cute doilies I picked up the other day!" He began waving around some lacy pink fabric. "OMG I ALMOST FORGOT! You simply HAVE to see the makeover I gave Yahiko!" He ran to the chair where Yahiko was tied up, and spun it around. "OOOOHHH ISN'T HE JUST PRECIOUS!!!"

Kenshin, having finally caught up to Cam and Miroku, got a good look at Yahiko and almost fell over again. Yahiko was wearing a hot pink ruffly prom dress. His hair had been curled, and his face was covered in makeup; mascara had been applied to his now thick, luscius eyelashes, dark pink lipstick decorated his lips, bubble-gum pink eyeshadow brought out the sparkles in his eyes, and his blushing pink cheeks were shining with body glitter. Yahiko looked...well, just like a girl. The expression on his face, however, was not the least bit feminine at all.

"Kenshin...." Yahiko's voice was dangerously low.

"Err hello there Yahiko..." Kenshin sweatdropped.

"I'm not sure whether to kiss his hand or put him out of his misery," Miroku whispered to Cam, who just nodded dumbly.

"Kenshin...." Yahiko repeated, or rather growled.

"Yahiko...we've come to rescue you, that we have," Kenshin reassured him, sounding quite nervous. The others could plainly see his knees shaking; although that was most likely due to the fact that he was still carrying an unconscious man on his shoulder.

Nobody could see it under the mask, but they all knew that Mr. Stranger was grinning. "Isn't he GORGEOUS?! OMG I THINK IT'S LIKE MY BIGGEST MASTERPIECE YET!" He clasped his hands as he gazed proudly at his model, chibi tears pouring down his cheeks. "So lovely...just TOTALLY FABULOUS! Now then...why don't we all sit around my new kitchen table and drink some tea! Doesn't that sound like fun?!"

Kenshin shook his head mutely. "N-no thank you...oro...sir, we have come to rescue our friend Yahiko, that we have..."

Mr. Stranger looked apalled. "RESCUE? From WHAT?!" Suddenly his face went blank, and then realization struck. "Ooohhhh, that's right...the whole 'kidnapping' thing...oh my, well I suppose I can't blame you then. Shall we commence to the battlefield? Or perhaps you would like some time to strategize? Or maybe we could discuss this some more, well, whatever you decide I have no preference!" He began to chuckle, and only then did he notice that Kenshin was already on his way out of the cave with Yahiko slung over his other shoulder. "Oh dear...this wasn't at all what I had in mind."

Cam ran after Kenshin. "But KENSHIN! Shouldn't we kick his ass?"

Kenshin shook his head. "It just wouldn't seem right...that man doesn't seem to know what he's doing at all!"

Mr. Stranger chased them to the entrance of the cave. Then he stood there and waved to them all. "HEY! LIKE DON'T FORGET TO COME BACK AND VISIT ME SOMETIME! TOODLES!!"

Back at Kaoru's::

"Kenshin!" Kaoru cried out as they all came walking back; well, Kenshin had Yahiko and the sleeping Sano over each of his shoulders, and Cam was riding on Miroku's back (dammit why does that sound so WRONG? Anyways...). She ran over to Kenshin and the others, looking very stressed out. "You've been gone for THREE WHOLE DAYS! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED I WAS ABOUT YOU GUYS?! AND WHY THE HELL DID YOU KIDNAP THAT LITTLE GIRL?! FOR SHAME!!"

"Oro!" Kenshin exclaimed as he gently set both Sanosuke and the drag queen--whoops I mean Yahiko--down onto the ground. "This is Yahiko, Miss Kaoru, no need to panic. He's just been through an awful lot during the past few days, that he has."

Yahiko glared at Kaoru. "One word out of you, ugly, and I'll make you wish you were never born!"

Well he didn't have to worry about hearing any words from Kaoru; she was too busy rolling on the ground laughing to even attempt a proper insult. Yahiko scowled. He would never live this down.

"Wow you guys...that sure was exciting!" Cam exclaimed. Miroku grabbed her ass again and she giggled like a schoolgirl. "So...NOW what do you want to do?!"

"Cam..." Kenshin began, looking to Kaoru, Megumi, and Yahiko for support.

"GO HOME!!!" The four of them yelled together, their heads growing four times in size and their teeth becoming pointy and angry-looking.

"Oh..." Cam sighed. "Well...I guess I probably SHOULD get home soon. It was nice meeting you guys, though!" She gave them all a cheerful grin, but only got blank, exhausted stares in return. "Right, right...oh Miroku, my lovely!! You're coming with me, right? Or maybe we can go to the Inuyasha universe instead!"

Miroku blinked, and suddenly remembered a fact mentioned in chapter one. "Lady Cam...I cannot go with you, for it has been revealed to me that you already have a boyfriend..."

"OMG! PETER!!" Cam's jaw dropped. "Whoa isn't that weird how I COMPLETELY forgot about him?!"

"Oro..." Was all Kenshin could say in reply.

Miroku vanished in a puff of purple smoke without another word. How very odd. But nobody dwelled on it; instead they carried on as if he had never even been there at all.

Cam fished around in her pocket and retrieved the TV Clicker Thing. "Allllriiiiiight, well I'll see you guys around...well, on the TV anyway." She winked at them and pressed the 'home' button on the remote control. Yes, it's true that most remote controls don't have a 'home' button installed on them, but for now we'll pretend that they do because it's more convenient that way. She disappeared in a puff of yellow smoke, gone forever back to her own universe where she belonged. Nobody was going to miss her.

Sanosuke suddenly sat up and yawned loudly, stretching his arms above his head. "Wow...I feel so refreshed!" He looked at Kenshin and Yahiko, and blinked. "Did I miss something?"

The End!

A note from the relieved author:: Wow...after over a year, this story is FINALLY finished! It's not that it took forever to write...it just...took forever to write. X-x Man don't you hate how we can't use underscores now? I really liked those...I couldn't even make Kenshin's swirly eyes anymore, TRAVESTY!! Anyway...so what, were you expecting some long, drawn-out battle? Sorry to disappoint, then. But did you honestly expect that idiot of a villain to put up any struggle at all?

It's the end, it's the end, it's the end! And get this, this fanfic is the first one I've completed since I joined ! Whoa...moment of silence here, ok? Alright, for some reason I can write something completely random a lot easier than I can write something that involves thinking and planning. So for the next ETVC fic, it's either gonna be Trigun or Naruto...whichever I decide on. New character, new pathetic excuse of a villain, and more of the same good 'ole insanity that kept you reading this crap in the first place. Peace out guys!