Jareth strode out of Sarah's room dragging the stumbling Sarah alongside him. Upon seeing a couple of goblin servants in the corridor, he stopped abruptly.
" Summon the kitchen staff ! Rouse the Castle ! Tonight we make Goblin Stew! " The Goblin King ordered.
The goblins froze in their tracks and gasped. " Goblin Stew? " they repeated in unison.
" That's what I said, you imbeciles ! Now, do as you're commanded ! " Jareth barked sharply.
The goblins' faces cracked into hideous grins of delight. " Aye, Yer Majesty! " they chorused, and scurried down the corridor pounding on doors and shouting " Come out! Come out! The King says he wants Goblin Stew tonight! "
Goblins of all shapes and sizes streamed into the corridor to confirm they'd heard correctly. It had been ages since the King had ordered a Goblin Stew ! Grinning, leering goblins took up the hue and cry of " Goblin Stew, everyone ! There'll be a Stewing tonight ! "
The Goblin King led Sarah through the corridors to the Throne Room, which bustled with more than the usual chaos. Goblins and chickens both ran amuck; some running under Sarah's feet. Jareth merely kicked at any creature that came too close to him. Goblins and chickens alike were sent aloft by the toe of the Goblin King's boot.
An enormous copper kettle was being suspended over a pit in the middle of the Throne Room by an equally enormous tripod. Sarah could see and hear goblins carrying buckets of water being cursed by goblins attempting to light the fire under the kettle for slopping water over the firewood. During the times the Goblin King kept a wished-away child, the pit served as a playpen for the small children while their older siblings ran through the Labyrinth to save them.
The goblins cheered Jareth once he and Sarah reached his throne. A tall goblin with an enormous belly offered Jareth and Sarah tankards of ale from a serving tray. Jareth accepted two, and shoved one tankard into Sarah's hands. The overflowing tankard slopped down the front of Sarah's nightgown. The Goblin King shoo-ed three chickens off the seat of his throne , then stepped onto the seat and raised his tankard high.
" Quiet! The King's going to address us ! "
" Why? I dressed meself this morning, so I did ! "
" No, you great, stupid git ! He's going to address us ! "
" Wot? We're playin' Post Office, then? PFFFT!! King or no King, I ain't playin' ! "
" SHHHHHHHHHHH !! "
Goblins nudged and shushed each other till there was sufficient silence for Jareth to be heard.
" Boil up the cabbage, the potatoes and leeks;
" we'll make Goblin Stew to fill up our cheeks.
" Crack open the kegs and pass round the brew
" For the fun can't begin till we're all good and stewed ! "
The goblins cheered while Jareth brought his tankard to his lips and drank deeply. Kegs of goblin ale were tapped and tankards of dark and foamy brew were passed out to the boisterous goblins. Some of the goblins took to heart their king's desire that they all become " good and stewed " . They surrounded the wide-eyed Sarah and took her tankard from her. Goblin hands pinned her arms back . One tall and wirey goblin with a long snout and pig-like eyes tipped her head back and held it still while another goblin with crazed eyes and jagged yellow teeth and Sarah's tankard pinched Sarah's nose until she opened her mouth to breathe.
" Look 'ere, Missy ! When the King drinks, we all drinks ! " said the goblin as he poured the dark and bitter-tasting ale into Sarah's mouth. Sarah swallowed so she could take another breath, and the goblin poured more in her mouth " That's just good manners ! "
This all must have met with the Goblin King's approval, for he did nothing to stop his subjects from plying the loudly protesting Sarah with the ale. Jareth did, however, announce that he dedicated the next verse to none other than Sarah herself.
" Ooo, listen, Missy! " gushed the goblin with the long snout, " ' Is Majesty's makin' this next bit up just for you! "
" Come take up your pestles, grind your spices to paste,
" Your King has commanded a great Goblin Feast.
" In your honor, Sarah, I've summoned this crew,
" For the Feast's just not proper without the addition of YOU ! "
The Goblin King leered at Sarah malevolently, and took another draught. Sarah's eyes grew as big as saucers at what the Goblin King's verse seemed to imply. Was that a threat? Her jaw dropped open and the goblin with the jagged yellow teeth took advantage of Sarah's open mouth and filled it with more of the strong ale.
The Goblin King barked out orders:
" Bring in the produce by bushels and pecks !
" Catch you those chickens and cut off their necks !
The throne room seemed to Sarah to turn into one big school cafeteria food-fight as vegetables of every shape and color were flung, tossed, thrown and shot to the cooks, who busily chopped, peeled and sliced.Little flurries of feathers floated about as terrorized squawking chickens were chased down and brought to a chopping block for beheading. A couple of chickens ran about the room headless and neckless until there nervous system stilled. The mad scene seemed to stun Sarah.
Jareth lighted from the seat of his throne and pointed as he approached Sarah and smirked, then said in a sinister tone:
" Don't worry, Sarah, the cooks know what to do,
" And the stew will be grand when it's time to serve YOU ! "
Sarah sprayed ale directly in the face of the goblin with the jagged yellow teeth. The Goblin King had indeed threatened her!
" Take her to the cooks ! " Jareth commanded.
The Goblin King's maniacal laughter rang in Sarah's ears as she began to struggle with the goblins who held her arms. Other goblins joined their fellows and seemed to swarm over Sarah. They dragged the desparate girl inch by inch to the chopping block.
" NOOO!! NOOO!! " Sarah implored the Goblin King. Jareth only mocked Sarah by cupping his hand over his ear.
The tall wirey goblin with the long snout and pig-like eyes clamped a hand over Sarah's mouth to muffle Sarah's screams...
The goblins forced Sarah's arm to the chopping block...
Sarah's face drained of all color...
The Goblin King's eyes danced with excitement...
The fat goblin cook raised his ax...
....and Sarah lost control of her bladder.
" She did it ! She did it ! The girl peed herself ! " , shouted one gleeful goblin.
" Ewwwww!! " exclaimed another, pinching the nostrils of his pug nose shut.
The Goblin King was doubled over in laughter. " S-Sarah ! " , the Goblin King gasped,
" You should have seen the look on your face when the ax was raised! You were terrified ! AH HA HA HA HA HA !! "
Goblins guffawed and high-fived each other. Sarah's knees buckled and she fell into the filth of her own urine and chicken's heads and feet. the combination of the goblin ale, the smoke sputtering from the pit, and her terror made Sarah feel like her head was floating from her body.
Goblins! So many goblins! Laughing, pointing, jeering goblins!
As Sarah's fuzzy mind began to clear, she saw the Goblin King was still laughing and slapping his knee at pulling off his infamous Goblin Stew prank. Jareth was basking in the glow of his gushing subjects' congratulations. They shook hands with the Goblin King and slapped him on the back, telling him how this was the best Stewing they'd had in ages.
Sarah jumped to her feet and screamed at Jareth " I hate you ! " , Sarah screamed, " I HATE YOU! "
The Throne room went deathly silent as Sarah became hysterical. " Someone save me! Someone take me away from this awful place ! " , she cried.
From somewhere in the Throne Room a goblin sniggered, then the whole Throne Room rang with the mocking laughter of goblins. The anguished girl sped from the Throne Room and through the corridors, seeking the shelter of her own chambers.
The Goblin King watched Sarah's exit, frowning. Hadn't Sarah told him she liked pranks?
" Well ! " huffed the goblin with jagged yellow teeth, " What a poor sport that Sarah is ! I say to the Bog with ' her if she can't take a joke ! "
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