Journey to Mordor (By SUV)

Disclaimer: I have no claim to The Lord of the Rings. It was created by J.R.R. Tolkien, not me. I own only the ideas and plots for my story, not the places, events, and characters from The Lord of the Rings.

Chapter Two: "Are We There Yet?"

"Are we there yet?" questioned Merry and Pippin.

"No!" cried Aragorn, who was quickly losing his patience with the two hobbits. Ever since they had got in the SUV, that was all that the two hobbits had said. Aragorn was very tempted to either tie Merry and Pippin on the roof with Frodo or leave them on the side of the road. They were not helping his driving at all.

Awkward silence was heard. Then a few minutes later, it was broken once again, by Pippin.

"Sooooo… Are we there yet?" asked Pippin. He was clearly enjoying annoying Aragorn.

"No!" came Aragorn's pissed off reply.

"Well, why not?"

"Because we aren't!" yelled Aragorn, turning around in his seat to face the young hobbit. "Besides, why do you keep asking?"

"Cause we're bored…" started Merry.

"…and it's fun to ask!" finished Pippin, way too cheerfully.

"Why are you bored?"

"Because Gandalf has all the pot, Gimli ate all the salted pork, Sam—" began Merry rambling, but was quickly cut off by Legolas.

"Did you say 'salted pork'?" asked Legolas, turning around with a dreamy smile on his face. "Did you?"

"Ya, but Gimli ate it all!" said Pippin, unsure as to why Legolas even cared about salted pork.

"Gimli! You fat, ugly dwarf! Argh!" cried Legolas jumping into the backseat so he could beat up Gimli for eating all of the salted pork.

Aragorn sighed and shook his head. He couldn't believe he was stuck in a car with these idiots. At least he had figured out how it worked. All he had to do was turn the key and push something in the floor and turn a wheel to guide it. It was almost as easy as riding a horse. Well, Almost. Aragorn still had to concentrate hard on what he was doing or else he'd lose control of the SUV and crash. Which he had already done several times and no one wanted him to do it again!

Suddenly, he saw something on the road. People! Aragorn slammed both his feet on the brakes and the SUV came to a screeching halt. Legolas was thrown forward against the windshield due to force of the stop. He ended up smushed against it, before sliding down it, leaving streaks all over the window and making a funny sound as he slid.

The people in the road turned around. They all looked to be teenagers and all of them seemed surprised to see the SUV. They were carrying bags and dressed in odd clothes. There were four of them, four teenage girls. Aragorn opened his door and began to get out of the SUV. He was eager to meet these strangers.

"I'm tired…" yawned Emily sleepily. "Are we there yet?"

"Here, eat some raisinets. That'll wake you up," said Tess, pulling a few bags of raisinets out and handing them to Emily.

"Woo hoo!" shouted Emily as she tore into the bags and proceeded to become sugar high and also to toss raisinets at Dolly.

Dolly began to pout as she batted the raisinets away. "No fair! Why does Emily get all the raisinets?"

Tess sighed and pulled an equal amount out for Dolly and handed them to her. Kate then looked at Tess and she sighed again and pulled out a bag of sour patch kids for Kate before pulling a jumbo bag of jellybeans out for herself. The four sat down for a minute and munched on their various candies. The whole time, Dolly and Emily flung an equal amount of raisinets at each other and ate the rest.

"You know what?" Kate asked Tess as Tess popped several jellybeans into her mouth.

"What?" Tess replied her mouth full of jellybeans.

"I'm beginning to think you planned this."

"Planned what?" Tess asked, confused as to what Kate was referring to. She didn't want to think at the moment, she just wanted to get sugar high.

"This whole thing! Me driving and fighting with Emily and us getting landed here, in the middle of nowhere! You seem so prepared for the whole thing. I mean, look, you have the lightest amount of stuff here, the best choice of clothes for walking, and then candy to keep us going. Are you sure you didn't plan for us to land in Middle-earth?"

"Why would I do that? Much less, how could I do that? You know as well as I do that Middle-earth is not a real place," said Tess as she popped another handful of jellybeans into her mouth.

"But still, I can't help but wonder."

"Well, I'm always really prepared and I'm beginning to learn to pack light. And that's because everyone keeps dragging me everywhere."

"So? Your point is?" asked Kate, who was starting to get pissed off and was very annoyed by that point.

"I didn't plan or prepare for this. This is just how I am."

"Then how come you had just the right books, huh? You only packed a few books and Lord of the Rings just happened to be one of them. How come?"

"Well I'll tell you. I didn't have enough space for my Harry Potter books and I decided to leave them in my room at my aunt's house in the country, seeing how I just read them anyway and didn't need to bring them. And really, Lord of the Rings was the only other books that I really had with me. I hadn't been back to the library yet. So I brought them with me."

"Oh."

"And I left most of my stuff in the room I have in the country. I'm going back there once this trip is over anyways. Not that is a surprise."

"Oh," said Kate smacking herself in the head, feeling like an idiot.

"So are you convinced now?"

"Ya, very much so."

"Thank you!"

Tess went back to eating jellybeans. She still couldn't believe that they had landed in Middle-earth of all places. But for her very best friend to think that she had planned it? That was crazy. How on earth could Tess have planned something like this? It was crazy enough without it having been planned!

After another twenty minutes of munching, everyone was ready to hit the road again. So Tess led the way and they continued onwards towards Mordor. After about another twenty minutes of walking, all four girls heard what sounded like a car behind them. Tess turned slightly and saw an SUV that looked just like the one they had left in the swamp, right behind them. It screeched to a halt and someone with blond hair went flying forward and hit the windshield. Tess and her friends turned all the way around.

"Legolas!" screamed Kate in horror when she recognized the blond that had smacked the windshield.

"Frodo's on the roof! Ahhh!" screamed Dolly and Emily, scared out of their minds.

"Aragorn's driving!" exclaimed Tess in disbelief.

What on Middle-earth was the Fellowship doing in their SUV? And how did they get it out of the swamp?

Author's Notes:

So apparently Aragorn can drive. That's a good thing. But what'll happen when the Fellowship meets the girls?

(New Note)

Few minor changes. No more Dimril Dale and some words were messed with. Other than that, it's the same.