Journey to Mordor (By SUV)

Disclaimer: I have no claim to The Lord of the Rings. It was created by J.R.R. Tolkien, not me. I own only the ideas and plots for my story, not the places, events, and characters from The Lord of the Rings.

Chapter Four: "What Do You Mean 'We're Lost'?"

"Well, eventually we hope to get to Mordor but for now we are headed for Dimrill Dale," said Aragorn, consulting the map.

"Okay, so I just follow the road to Dimrill Dale, right?" asked Tess as she started the SUV.

"Yeah, I think so…"

"You 'think so'?"

"Well, I've never driven a SUV in Middle-earth before…"

"Great!"

Tess slowly began to drive the SUV. She had never driven the SUV before. The Suburban belonged to Kate, not to her. And Kate had never let her drive it before. Good thing that she was used to driving her own vehicle, a Ford F-150 truck which was pretty large. And her aunt who lived in the country, where Tess spent the summer, had a Suburban, so Tess had watched her drive it many times. So she quickly got the hang of driving the Suburban, which was silver instead of the black one her aunt had. Tess laughed to herself, remembering that she always referred to her aunt's Suburban as 'The Bus' and had a good laugh thinking that she was too driving a 'bus'. But while Tess was absorbed in her thoughts, she drove off the main road onto a smaller one. And no one noticed for some time.

Finally they came to a dead end. "Aragorn!" growled Tess as she turned to face the Suburban's navigator.

"What?"

"We've hit a dead end, Aragorn. We weren't supposed to hit a dead end, we were supposed to follow the road to Dimrill Dale, remember?"

"Well that's not my fault, is it?"

"Well yeah, it is. You are the navigator, you're supposed to tell me were to go. Not get us stuck on a dead end road."

"But you're the driver!"

"So? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Never mind!"

"Are we there yet?" questioned Merry and Pippin cheerfully.

"NO!!!!!" yelled Tess and Aragorn turning around to glare at the Hobbits.

"Sorry…"

Tess and Aragorn ignored the Hobbits and went back to bickering. Legolas finally couldn't take it anymore. With a big sigh, Legolas screamed at Tess and Aragorn. "Shut up!"

Tess and Aragorn looked quite taken aback and stopped bickering and turned to face the irritated Elf. Kate was also staring at Legolas, like she had since they had gotten in the SUV.

"Thank you. Now can somebody please kindly inform me as to what the hell is going on here?" said Legolas, glaring at Tess and Aragorn.

"Well, Aragorn got us lost--!" began Tess.

"Did not!"

"Yes you did--!"

"Stop fighting!" yelled Legolas.

"Our navigator here," said Tess through gritted teeth. "Sent us on the wrong road and now we're lost somewhere."

"But I wasn't the one driving, now was I?" Aragorn shot back.

"But you were supposed to be telling me where to go!"

"SHUT UP!" yelled Legolas. "So we're lost?"

"What do you mean 'we're lost'?" asked Dolly, speaking up.

"It was all Aragorn's fault!" Tess started.

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was NOT!"

"Was TOO!"

"SHUT UP!" yelled Merry and Pippin.

"Does it really matter who's fault it was?" questioned Emily.

"Good question," agreed Aragorn.

"Yeah, really genius," grumbled Tess.

"You're just mad because I didn't get us lost…"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am most certainly not!"

"Are too!"

While Tess and Aragorn were fighting, Tess's foot hit the gas and the Suburban crashed through the trees and left the road behind. Finally Tess realized what was going on and hit the brake. But not before they were really lost.

"Now we're really lost!" said Dolly.

Tess cursed under her breath, as did Aragorn.

"Now who got us lost?" said Aragorn smugly.

Tess narrowed her eyes and turned around to face Aragorn, glaring harshly at him before screaming at him. "ARAGORN!!!!!"

[Author's Notes:

Okay, I have decided to change the original plan for the SUV. It is now a Suburban and the seating is slightly different. Tess is still driver, Aragorn in the passenger seat, but Legolas and Kate are the middle (Legolas behind Tess, Kate behind Aragorn) two seats. Dolly, Emily, and Boromir are in the third row. (Boromir was asleep during this chapter) Merry and Pippin are in the trunk area, behind the third row. Gandalf is still on the roof because he wants to smoke and there is a no smoking in the SUV rule in place, along with Sam and Frodo and Gimli. Yeah, if we really wanted to, we might be able to squeeze everyone inside, but there is no need at the moment for that.

Sorry about the wait between chapters. I've been sick and so dizzy that I couldn't see (even with glasses on!) so there was no way I could sit at a computer and type without barfing (not something I wanted to do!). And then I sliced my finger open so I couldn't type. But I'm not nearly as dizzy as I've been so I could finally type a new chapter and my finger doesn't hurt too badly.

The next chapter will hopefully be posted by sometime Monday, August 2nd. It'll be called 'Off-road SUV'. Check my author's page for more info, where I'll note the progress, etc. Please leave a review!

Reviewers!

A Darker Side of Light – Well the trunk is the open type, so they can still breathe. And I didn't know a Suburban was considered an SUV until you mentioned it so the SUV has been changed to a Suburban cause I've been in one many times before (my aunt owns one and I visit her (and my four cousins) over the summer) so it's easier for me to write about one. And so far there has been no need to cram everyone in, but there might be some need eventually. J

Ari Moon –Yeah Frodo died in my other story, but this is a different story so he's still alive. Yeah, you're another Frodo-must-die person huh? Glad you like it.

musical geek – I can't imagine being strapped to the roof of an SUV either but that's okay! But the trunk isn't that bad. I've squeezed into the trunk of an SUV with two other people before (and we had to stay under the windows so we wouldn't get caught by the cops!) and it's cooler to ride in the trunk in my opinion. Plus it's an open area trunk, it opens into the SUV, it's not closed in.]