Journey to Mordor (By SUV)

Disclaimer: I have no claim to The Lord of the Rings. It was created by J.R.R. Tolkien, not me. I own only the ideas and plots for my story, not the places, events, and characters from The Lord of the Rings (and my dog, Sset).

Chapter Nine: The River Anduin

The Fellowship and the friends set out very early the next morning from Lothlorien. Some things had been decided already concerning that day's trip. One was that Tess would be driving the SUV down beside the river on the way towards Rohan. Aragorn would be leading the others down the river Anduin. But who was doing what hadn't yet been figured out.

So the group conferred while loading every thing into the SUV. Frodo, Sam, and Gimli didn't want to travel by boat so they would be going in the SUV. Aragorn was going to be in the front boat with Dolly, Legolas in the second one with Kate, and Boromir in the third. For safety and sanity reasons, Merry, Pippin, and Emily had been ordered to ride in the SUV. So once the SUV was loaded with both people and stuff, Tess set off.

Tess had the easiest job when it came to navigating. All she had to do was follow the river on her left side. Aragorn had to pick the best route down the river for the boats. But Tess had the craziest companions in the Suburban. Frodo was upset and bawling his eyes out over something, which was distracting, seeing as he was sitting right behind her. Gimli was complaining just in general and had been put in the passenger seat and was talking right into Tess's eyes, which was not helping her concentration.

But the ones that Tess was most worried about were Merry, Pippin, and Emily who were in the backseat, plotting something and Tess could have sworn that she saw gestures indicating the flame-thrower, which had been confiscated by Aragorn. That and of course that sounds of maniac laughter.

What had she been thinking, driving this group down river?

Things were going much better for Aragorn on the river. Dolly wouldn't shut up and was bothering Aragorn so much that he was thinking about pushing her out of the boat onto the river. But he knew that if he did, he would eventually have to face an angered Tess and he didn't want to do that. So he ignored Dolly's chattering instead.

Kate wouldn't leave Legolas alone either. She kept touching his hair and talking to him. He had a very annoyed expression on his face and also one that he showed the Ranger when he turned around to check on the others. His expression clearly read, 'Help me and get me out of here!' which made the Ranger laugh to himself. The mighty Elf was asking for help escaping from what? A teenager for Eldar's sake! Not that he could blame him…

Boromir was fuming to himself. If only he could get his hands on the ring and get it to Gondor than this whole mess might actually be worth something. Maybe.

Finally Tess reached the point were Aragorn and her had figured out the previous night. It was their camping point and the point at which they would all be getting back into the SUV. But neither Tess nor Aragorn had actually spoken that. Tess just had a feeling that some events would cause that. Tess parked the SUV between some trees, hidden away. She had also painted the SUV a green the night before with some spray paint that she had found hidden inside Emily's bag. What Emily was doing with it, she had no clue and didn't want to know.

Gimli had long since shut up and fallen asleep, snoring quiet loudly. Frodo had stopped bawling and was also asleep, as was Sam who had given his blanket to 'Mr. Frodo'. Merry, Pippin, and Emily were still talking and were the main cause for concern. Tess was very afraid about what they may have planned.

Tess was the first out and began to unload the SUV with the help of three travelers who hadn't slept. She hadn't wanted to wake the others. It would help her to keep her sanity if she only had to deal with the three.

Not long after camp was ready, Aragorn and the others arrived and drug their boats up on shore. They then all gathered around the cooking fire where Sam (once awake) had prepared their meal. During the meal, Merry, Pippin, and Emily snuck off only to return moments later. With them, were several firecrackers that they had taken from Gandalf in Moria. And Emily's flame-thrower, which had some how been recovered.

They lit the firecrackers over the group's cooking fire and everyone's head using Emily's flame-thrower. They had also fired the flame-thrower into the air. When everyone saw what was headed their way, they quickly reacted. Dolly threw herself to the side on the ground. Sam grabbed Frodo and pulled him down. Legolas grabbed Kate while Aragorn grabbed Tess and then they rolled out of harm's way. Tess of course told Aragorn off afterwards saying that she was quite capable of getting herself out of harm's way.

"MERRY, PIPPIN, AND EMILY!!!!! YOU ALL ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!!!!!" yelled Tess and Aragorn while everyone else nodded in agreement.

"Do you know what you could have done? I could have been burned laddies and lassie!" growled Gimli as he touched the singed off part of his beard and everyone laughed at it. "Stopping laughing!"

[Author's Notes:

The next chapter will be the last one taking place in the Fellowship of the Ring timeframe. Then the story will move on to the Two Towers timeframe. Next chapter due Tuesday, August 24th.

Reviewers!

Ari Moon – That's weird, but glad you liked it!

TrekieGreenieShannaraElfOfME – Yeah, me too!

A Darker Side of Light – I guess all Elves aren't very smart. Or at least Haldir isn't! But I don't need to cross it, I'll just stay on the same side and drive along side the river. Besides, the SUV is needed on land for the part transition. And I'll try to post every day from now on.

Krista123 – Glad it's still funny! But Tess and Aragorn just like each as friends. They just still can't realize it. They are still bickering but hopefully, that will start to wind down.