Disclaimer- I do not own Redwall
Author's note- My attempt at the RedWall parody. It's ok I guess but it will get better in later chapters. This is the first chapter, enjoy!
Chapter 1 – Onwards!
"Onwards!" Shouted the evil weasel, his name was feared across the land, the dreaded name, Burnt Cheese On Toast. He was sometimes called B.C.O.T. for short, but preferred his longer name and killed anyone who used the abbreviated version. He is also the leader of the bad guys, if you hadn't noticed. But that is irrelevant and so I will continue with a story. The band of weasels and rats that Burt Cheese On Toast was leading came across a red sandstone building. B.C.O.T. inspected the building made of red walls for a few seconds before yelling, "Hey! Let's conquer that." And so the story begins...
The building was called Redwall (no kidding!) And in it there lived a happy band of woodland creatures. Trust the bad guys to choose to invade a little happy band of woodland creatures. They were cooking and having all the fun that is possible to have in the abbey of Redwall. Suddenly a little mouse called Twitch woke from a dream. He called all the woodland creatures together. "I saw Martin." He said mystically, as though waking from a trance.
"Who is Martin?" Asked random squirrel no.236
"Be quiet, your ruining the Script." Whispered mouse no.87
"What script?" asked random squirrel no.236, but he was ignored as the meeting continued.
"There will be a wave of vermin upon us." Said the mouse who had had the dream then he died because of indigestion. Good thing too, because if he hadn't he would one day be the evil ruler of the world, funny how things work out, isn't it?
There were cries of "No!"
And "Not again." These cries were because of the vermin horde that were going to attack, not because a mouse had died, just goes to show you how much woodland creatures care for each other.
But, unfortunately, nothing could be done about the horde of approaching vermin. And they all knew that they were doomed to be killed, that is until someone yelled, "What about that warrior dude, what was his name? Oh yeah, Fresh Cheese On Toast! What about him, can't he help us?"
There was a wave of applause as otter no.173 was carried around the room because of his genius. They then prepared a feast, which would from now on be named the otter-number-173-celebrating-genius-of-thinking-correctly-feast. And they partied into the night before they realized that Fresh Cheese On Toast was out saving a snake in the desert and so someone would have to go and get him. Well if the hero was already in the castle is wouldn't really make for a story would it? And so they shoved some random people into the cold with some supplies and told them to journey until they found the hero. They then shut the door in their faces and continued partying.
----------- I know that that wasn't really that great, but it will get better, now is you are feeling generous then please review, and if you are not feeling generous, please reveiw anyway!