Journey to Mordor (By SUV)

Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Lord of the Rings besides owning a copy of the DVDs and books. So do not even think about suing me! I'll sue you first! I only claim rights to the idea of this story and my plot lines. And I own Tess. Emily, Dolly, and Kate are all being used with permission. And I borrowed the Suburban from my Aunt Debbie.

Chapter Seventeen: Bored

"I'm bored!" sang Emily. "Oh so bored!"

"Us two!" added Merry and Pippin grumpily.

"Legolas! Oh where are you Legolas?" cried Kate.

"Oh just shut it about the Elf!" said the three.

"Humph!" said Kate, disgusted.

The others all stuck their tongues out at Kate who ignored them. Then they sat down in a circle and began to organize a plot. They wanted some thing to do.

Hours later, the Hobbits and Emily snuck out and headed for Isengard. They were going to bother Saruman the White. They hoped that he also had some marshmallows and some flame-thrower juice so that they could throw a party. That would help get rid of boredom. But they didn't know that Treebeard was following them, as was Kate. And Treebeard had an army of Ents with him so that they could destroy the Hobbits.

The three snuck into Isengard and began to destroy things before heading up to bother Saruman. The Ent army followed, also destroying everything in their path. The Hobbits and Emily ran into the Tower of Orthanc. They ran up to the very top where they found Saruman and Wormtongue.

"Hello!" they said cheerfully.

"Why, the two Hobbits have come to me! I wonder if they have the Ring!" said Saruman quietly.

"Do you have any marshmallows?" asked Pippin.

"Or flame-thrower juice?" asked Emily.

"Or food?" asked Merry.

"I think I have all three somewhere!"

"Yay!" cheered the three.

"But first, do you have the Ring?"

"Oh that piece of garbage?" questioned Emily, bored once more. "Oh that's with someone else, we didn't like it. It doesn't do anything cool."

"Damn it!"

"Why?" asked all three.

"Because I wanted it!"

"Why?"

"So I could give it to my master, Sauron."

"Why?"

"So he could rule all of this puny Middle-earth!"

"Why?"

"Because he wants to!"

"Why?"

"I don't know!"

"Why?"

"Because I don't know!"

"Why?"

"Because he never told me!"

"Why?"

"Because he doesn't trust me enough, I guess!"

"Why?"

"Because I'm a failure!"

"Why?"

"Because I'm a crappy wizard!"

"Why?"

"Because I didn't listen to Gandalf the Gay like I should have!"

"Why?"

"Because he's gay! I didn't trust him."

"Why?"

"Because he likes Frodo!"

"Why?"

"Because he's gay!"

"Why?"

"I already told you why!"

"Why?"

"Because he's a great wizard!"

"Why?"

"Because he didn't stray from the path of good, like I did. I was seduced by power. I was my downfall as a wizard."

"Why?"

Saruman ignored them and began to cry. The three shrugged and went off in search of marshmallows, food, and most importantly, flame-thrower juice! Meanwhile, the Ents took over Isengard and flooded the place.

[Author's Notes:

Short and sweet. Aw, the Hobbits and Emily made the wizard cry! Oh well! Next update due: Tomorrow, Tuesday, August 31st.