Journey to Mordor (By SUV)

Disclaimer: Nope, unless I've lost my memory recently, I still don't own the Lord of the Rings. I wish I did, it would make me feel so much better but I don't. I may be confused by the heavy drugs that I'm on but I'm not that confused, I hope. So don't sue me or I might have to hurt you!

Chapter Twenty-nine: Siege of Gondor

"Release the prisoners!" cried an Orc from the ground. Something was loaded onto catapults and sent flying through the air. Heads of Gondorian soldiers hit the soldiers in the line of fire. The Siege of Gondor was beginning.

Pippin was running around in front of the citadel laughing like a crazy person. He had loads of fireworks in his arms and was aiming them at the Orcs on the ground. Then he ran around looking for a torch to light them.

Mary heard the crazy laughter and went to see what it was. She was shocked to see Pippin running around like someone on some heavy drugs. "Pippin! What are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing at all!"

"Get back here you short stack, lunatic!"

Pippin laughed and ran away, Mary chasing him to the firework pile. Pippin quickly began to light the fireworks and send them towards the siege towers and the Orcs. Mary watched him, without interfering. Shooting fireworks at enemies was something that she would do. If she wasn't so worried about Faramir that was.

"Faramir! I'm coming!" cried Mary as she raced back to where Faramir was coming. She had been so amused by the Hobbit that she had almost forgotten that Faramir might need her and that he was still recovering.

Fell beasts were flying by overhead and Pippin quickly aimed a firework at one as it passed. The fell beast swallowed the firework and then it exploded in its stomach, killing it. Pippin let out some more maniacal laughter.

Gandalf came over to the citadel and a passing firework singed off his beard. "Fool of a Took!" roared Gandalf as he smacked Pippin on the head with his staff.

Pippin laughed more insanely than he had before and then he started hopping around. He was beginning to resemble Dolly or Emily, or even Kate, on a sugar high.

"Sugar! Wee! SUGAR, SUGAR, SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" cried Pippin, as he hopped around and continued setting off fireworks.

Gandalf started to smack himself in the head with his own staff until he passed out and began to twitch convulsively on the ground.

"Bombs away!" cried Pippin as he laughed. "MWAHAAAAHAAAAA!"

Orcs were trying to break through the main gate so Pippin aimed for them. Pippin alone was one of the few things keeping the Orcs from entering Gondor. More and more fireworks were thrown onto the Orcs, keeping in them in pain and away from the gate. But then suddenly Pippin ran out of fireworks.

"Oh, fell beast shit!" cried Pippin as he hopped away to the safety of the citadel.

Orcs managed to break through the main gate and everyone raced to guard the gate of the first level. Orcs burned and killed anything in their path on the way to the next gate. But as they reached the first level gate, the sound of horns were heard.

Everyone's attention turned to the fields of Pelennor. Rohan had arrived.

Author's Notes:

I'm BACK!!!!! Yes!! And I'm not in too much pain at the moment! Well, I'm still pretty out of it and on some heavy drugs, but oh well! I know you are all confused, so I'll explain.

I was feeling pretty sick all of last week. Well Sunday night, it all caught up to me and I was in terrible pain to my stomach. I was wide awake in pain until 4 am Monday morning when I was finally drugged. I was supposed to get up in two hours to go to school but that never happened. When I woke up I was still in severe pain. I had to go to the doctor and then I was sent to get x-rays done. And the pain was coming and going in waves of severity. But I was always in pain (and I still am, it's never stopped yet). Well Tuesday afternoon, it was really bad. I had gone for blood work because the x-rays were negative. But after the blood work, I came home and had a really bad attack of pain and I had to go to the hospital.

Yep, I ended up spending 13 long hours in the ER in serious pain with an IV in my hand. I had to drink two bottles of disgusting crap, which almost made me barf. My pain shots (which I didn't get until like six hours after arriving) didn't help the pain. I was in the hallway where the ambulances come in on a bed in a row of four people. Two others had to drink the same stuff I did and had the same pain. The last person was an old man who had broken his left hip.

Anyways, I didn't get home until 4 am Wednesday and I was on serious narcotics and was stumbling around, hitting things. (I had just been woken up from a drug-induced sleep) And, well I slept all day. I'm finally feeling better and I finally get a chance to write! I haven't been to school all week and I'm missing my first field hockey game of the season (and it's against my old school!) this afternoon. I can't even go watch because I have to go see the doctor again and then the dentist wants to give me my retainers all during the game!

Hopefully I'll continue to get better and be back in school tomorrow. I'm very sorry about the long wait between updates and I'll try to write a lot this afternoon now that I'm feeling better.

The next update will be called "Journey to Mordor" and will be with the SUV crew. Chapter 31 will be about Dunharrow and then Chapter 32 will either be about the SUV or the Paths of the Dead. Just so you all know what's planned so far!

Reviewers!

Jak – Yes, that shall be interesting…

Ari Moon – Why did you curse me! Ah you must have made me sick! BADGER, BADGER, BADGER! Ya, but Kate's, well, Kate. Yes, poor Aragorn. Sorry you had to wait!

A Darker Side of Light – Glad you liked it! The fight is going to be good and I'll be writing soon. It'll probably be in healing place when you two fight over Faramir. Sorry that I fell behind with posts. I'll try to catch up this weekend.

Dark Borg Drone – Aragorn was my first Elvish teacher, as was Arwen. Elvish rocks!

Laer4572 – She might help, if she goes to the Paths of the Dead.

musical geek – Thanks and here's some more! And my friend just had to bring over some homework yesterday! groans Oh well, my teacher sent a note saying that I didn't have to do it! But I'll do it anyways. And I got a posterboard that everyone had signed with a picture taking the second week of everyone in my class with it. I'm going to hang it up in my room.