Journey to Mordor (By SUV)

Disclaimer: Why would I be writing this if I was J. R. R. Tolkien?

Chapter Thirty: The Journey to Mordor, Not!

"I'm so sick of this car!" sang Tess, completely off-key. "I want to get out! Oh so badly!"

"Moo!" cried a sugar high Emily. "Moo! Moo! Moo!"

"Emily! Stop it already! We get the point! So you can stop mooing already!" yelled Dolly, looking cross.

"Moo?"

"I think you have hurt Emily's feelings, Dolly," said Tess.

"I'm sorry Emily, I didn't mean it, really I didn't. I just have a freakin' splitting headache!" yelled Dolly.

"MOO!"

"Not again!" groaned Dolly as she clapped her hands over her ears. "Make it stop! Make it stop!"

"Can't do that Dolly, I'm trying to drive," smirked Tess from the driver's seat. "Don't want me to crash now, do you?"

"Right… I wouldn't want you to get us stuck somewhere again now would I? It's already bad enough that you got us stuck in Middle-earth!"

"Like that was my fault? Kate was driving!"

"She may have been driving and fighting with Emily but who got us sucked into Middle-earth from the highway on the way to Ocean City?"

Tess opened her mouth to say something was quickly shut it.

"Ha ha!" cried Dolly in victory.

Tess quickly mumbled some curses under her breath in both the common tongue and Elvish but Dolly took no notice.

"MOO!"

During a break in from travel, in which time Tess slept, she had a dream. She was back at Helm's Deep. The battle was due to begin soon. But when the horn sounded and Tess, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and Dolly went to see who it was, things changed. Instead of the Elves and Haldir, badgers in cloaks had come.

The badgers shed their cloaks and began to do the badger dance, while singing, "Here come, here come the badgers!"

Tess looked around at the people surrounding her in shock. Legolas and Dolly were singing the badger song with the badgers and Theoden and Gimli were doing the badger dance. And there was Aragorn, nodding his head to the beat of the badger song.

"Ada!" cried Tess as the dream began to quickly fade. "Ada come back! Ada!"

"What's wrong Tess?" asked Dolly, looking at Tess, concern showing on her face for her best friend.

"I just saw my ada but he left before I could speak with him! It was only in a dream…"

"What was the dream about?"

"Helm's Deep. The badgers had come to Helm's Deep instead of the Elves and everyone was acting strange."

"Did the badgers sing the badger song?"

"Yes they did. And you and Legolas sang along with them."

"Cool!"

"Moo!" said Emily, happy.

"They also danced the badger dance. Theoden and Gimli danced with them and it was crazy! And ada was there, nodding his head to the beat. But he didn't see me and dream fade quickly."

"Was that it?" questioned Dolly.

"Yeah."

"So what's wrong? That'd be a good dream to have!"

"Moo!" said Emily in agreement.

"What's wrong is that I miss my ada and he was there in the dream! I want to go home! I want this journey to come to an end so that I can have a normal life with my parents!"

"But you were never normal!"

"So?"

"So your home isn't here in Middle-earth! And neither is your family! You know that. You belong back in the country with your aunt and cousins and your horse. You remember how much you love Brego and your school and your family and your friends, don't you?"

"I do remember all of that but that's no longer a part of me. It was all a lie, and attempt to blend in! I miss Brego very much but I think ada can help me get him to Middle-earth."

"Like that will ever happen!"

"Moo!"

"You know what Dolly?"

"What?"

"I think that this is where we part. For good," said Tess in a final, serious tone as she climbed out of the SUV.

"What?"

"Continue on to Mordor if you wish. I'm going back to find my ada. This is good-bye," spoke Tess as she shut the door and ran off the direction from where they had come.

"But…" Dolly began but was cut off by the slamming of the door. It was useless. Tess had gone, disappearing on foot into the gathering darkness.

Dolly climbed into the driver's seat and started the engine. "Yeah I guess this is where we part," said Dolly bitterly. "We must continue on while you run from every thing like you always do. I just hope you find what you are looking for."

"Moo?"

"No Emily, we're not going after Tess this time. This time we move on. This time she is on her own."

"You mean you'll let her die out there?" questioned Sam, from the trunk.

"If that's what she wants, then yes, I'll no longer chase her or interfere with what she wants."

"Then I will!" said Sam, taking charge. "Emily, go find Strider. Tell him that Tess is out in the wild, looking for him, on foot."

"Moo!" said Emily as she floated away to find Aragorn, leaving an angry Dolly behind with the Hobbit.

"What the bloody hell did you do that for?! I didn't want to interfere with what Tess wanted! If she wanted to kill herself, I was going to let her!"

"I wasn't interfere with Tess by doing that. I was interfering with Aragorn. There's a difference and he would want to know."

"Not much of a difference though! And I don't give a damn as to what Aragorn wants to know! It's his fault that she's out in the wild anyways! Now Sam, go do the badger dance before I kick you out of the SUV and make you WALK to Mordor with me chasing you in the SUV!"

"Okay," sighed Sam as he sang the badger song and did the badger dance.

Dolly smiled and hit the gas pedal, sending the SUV zooming towards Mordor and the end of her journey. She would track Frodo to Mordor, make sure that the ring was destroyed and then go home. She would leave Tess behind in Middle-earth. She no longer cared about what her friend did. She just wanted to go home to her family, her dog, and her computer with the internet. She wanted this whole thing to end. Forget the trip to Ocean City, she wanted to be home.

Author's Notes:

Not very short this time! Things have changed a bit in the plot line so now the next chapter will be about Tess and her attempt to get to Dunharrow and find Aragorn. So far, the title is "Brego" and it will be up shortly followed by an appearance by everyone's favorite (not!) greedy dress wearer. Hopefully today (Saturday, September 25th) will be a double post day but I make no guarantee.

Reviewers!

Laer4572 – Yep, I do! Most of my story ideas come from real life. Just last night, at dinner with my parents, I came up with the idea of exploding french fries.

Jak – Yes, Jak, we all know that you like needles but that's because of who you are. And that IV bloody well hurt! And sugar highs rock! Plus I have some lyrics for our band's song "Excess Energy"! Weee!

A Darker Side of Light – Thanks and I'm feeling much better. I went back to school yesterday and wrote several more chapters by hand. And you know what's odd? I had chinese the other day, but it wasn't wan tons but it still made me feel better! Who's day would be made by Pippin and fireworks? And Eowyn is going down!