John took a deep breath and stared at his friends. They were waiting for him to get out from the car. They were all close to each other, trying to get some warm to face the chilly wind. John was trying to get his spirits together. He had to do this, and he had to be strong. Maybe, somehow, after that was over, he would be able to go on. Maybe everything would get back to the way it was before? He was ashamed to even think about it, but all he wanted was the guilt to disapear. He wanted it to go away. If he couldn't bring Michelle back to change things, then he just wanted to stop hurting.

He shook his head, honestly thinking he was going crazy. Why bother about a girl he never spoke to before she died? Why feel guilty about never meeting her? Why was he so crushed inside? Only because he had never faced death before. He never saw it took a loved one away from him. He had been blessed in his life and he thought everything was easy. That everything was eternal. How wrong could he have been? He finally got to notice a girl, to develops feelings from someone, and then she died. She died. The words were so cold. They were cruel, he wasn't ready to accept it yet. He didn't want to ADMIT it yet. Cause he was ashamed of himself. Ashamed because he could have made her happy before she left. If he had gone to meet her weeks before her death, maybe her departure would have been easier? At least they could have shared a few moments of happiness? They could have experienced love.

He lifted his gaze and smiled at the sight of Victoria cuddling agaisnt Randy. Those two were such the perfect match. Even better than Charlie and Jackie. Those two seemed natural together, but the Legend Killer and Victoria was a truly magic sight. It gave him hope. It also gave him enough courage to get out.

With his friends by his side, he didn't have to pretend everything was alright. He didn't have to act he didn't hurt, that he wasn't sad. He needed to deal with his feelings on his own terms.

So, they got into the salon, and they were welcomed by the McMahons. Vince, Linda, Shane, Stephanie and even Hunter. Vince hugged John, and patted him on the shoulder. Then, he dragged him to the Silverman family while the others all hung together.

Stephanie was hugging Nidia and Victoria while Randy and Hunter exchanged a hand shake.

'' Dad told us how it all happened and what role John played in it. Is he ok?'' Asked a concerned Stephanie.

Randy sighed. '' I think he will be. Things are so complicated. It's so hard to believe. He seemed to have cared about that girl. He even carries a picture of her in his pockets.''

Shane looked at them in surprise. '' Really? That's weird. I understand that me and Steph can feel a little giulty, I remember the last time we saw Michelle, it was more than ten years ago.''

His sister made a guilty smile. '' You were pulling her hair, calling her a tomboy and I forbid her of touching my dolls. She just sat next to me, smiling and looking at me while I played with them. She was such a sweetheart and we have been mean to her. Why didn't we never saw her after Mother stopped working with her father?''

Her eyes were filling with tears and Hunter made her walk away. They cuddled in a corner of the room.

John followed Vince to where William Silverman was standing. He was crying and the limousine driver was beside him. Vince went to hug William while John stood there, still nervous. He was trying to avoid looking at the open coffin in front of him. He didn't want to see Michelle. Not like that, not while life was gone from her. William finally noticed John and his eyes filled with tears again. He shook his hands and pulled him into a hug, whispering thank yous. It made John feel uneasy. His pain seemed stupid, childish when he was facing a heart-broken father. But he had cared about Michelle, he still didn't want to believe she was gone. They all walked a few feets forward, to give John some time alone, to pray. He gulped. He looked behind him, to the right, to the left, there was no way he could escape. So he knelt down beside the coffin and looked down.

Michelle....She looked so peaceful. She still had that happy smile on her face. She was so beautiful. he held his head in his heands and closed his eyes. This was too much for him, but he had to be strong. He could feel the others all staring at him. He got up and put a kiss on her forehead. She was so cold. Of course she was cold, she was dead. He shook his head, wanting to shake away the panic he felt raising in him. He took a few deep breaths, and felt better.

William walked to him, handing him a small box. Inside was a lot of letters and a journal. He opened the journal and saw a picture of him. It broke his heart. He looked up at William and thanked him.

'' You know John, I should be the one to thank you. Just read the journal and the letters. You'll understand everything you did to my daughter. You might not be aware of it, but you helped her more than you think. I hope it will help you to feel better. Come on Son, you should go home now, go with your friends, this is getting depressing here. If I could, I would go too. The funerals are going to be so hard, I would prefer to come back and pray to her on my own, once her body is in the ground. Don't you?''

John nod. yes, that would be a good idea. Besides, he had good friends that were waiting for him. they would feel relieved if they just left. He joined them.

'' What do you say that we go eat a little guys? Let's get out of here.''

His friends smiled and Victoria and Nidia put their arms around his waist, walking out. Tonight he would have time to think about Michelle, while he read her journal. But now, it was time to think about himself....