Chapter Eighteen –

"You're in danger," Malcolm stated slowly, trying to reach Hoshi on some other level as she stood before him with her arms crossed stubbornly over her chest.

"We all are," Hoshi retorted quickly, wanting to help him sort through the confusion yet knowing she shouldn't. There was too much riding on her. She would have to face the Reptilians on her own.

Years of knowing her…years of fantasizing about her…of dreaming of her boiled over. His better judgment abandoned him and Malcolm cursed – who or what he didn't know. For years he had wanted her. But now, he needed her. "Hoshi –"

Seeing him struggle, Hoshi placed a finger over his lips. "Trust me, Malcolm. Believe in me. It was a personal matter T'Pol needed to speak to me about." Part of the truth was better than none.

A strangled noise of want was the only sound Malcolm made and he took her hand in his, kissing her palm.

Standing on her toes, Hoshi leaned into him suggestively, pressing her lips against his softly. If she died tomorrow, she would die loved.

His eyes wide open, Malcolm returned the kiss hesitantly at first, momentarily forgetting his duty. Unable to deny the feelings any longer, his lips crushed hers.

Hoshi moaned as he grasped her buttocks and pulled her against his hardened arousal. Instinctively, she reached for his zipper. Breaking the kiss, she felt him hesitate, the last vestiges of resistance quickly giving way. "Please, Malcolm. I need you."

His communicator chirped, bringing reality crashing around them. Pushing her away, Malcolm flipped the communicator open. "Reed here."

The captain's voice sounded over it. "Malcolm. Why was the tactical alert upgraded?"

Malcolm's eyes narrowed as he looked at Hoshi. For now he would have to trust her. "Stand down, sir. The situation has been resolved."

She could hear the curiosity and weariness in the captain's voice, but also the inferred and trusted understanding. "Has the situation been resolved?"

"Yes, sir. Ensign Sato has been located."

There was a slight pause, then the captain replied, "Very well then. Archer out."

Malcolm clicked the communicator shut and glanced at Hoshi, quickly looking away, noticing her swollen lips and mussed hair. Clearing his throat, he backed away from her, needing to speak to the captain. "I – I apologize, Ensign."

He left before she could reply.

--

He hadn't slept in thirty-six hours and he was punchy. They had made it through the subspace corridor even after Lorian's crew had attempted to steal the injectors. How was Hoshi involved? Was she involved? He needed to know. He wanted to trust her.

They were on their way to rendezvous with Degra and there was too much at risk with the council meeting days away.

Pressing the chime, he stepped back.

The door opened and Hoshi stood to the side to allow him entry. She said nothing.

Waiting for the door to close behind him, Malcolm realized what a mistake this was.

Sighing, Hoshi leaned against the wall. "I supposed you came by to ask me if I knew anything about Lorian's attempt to steal the injectors."

With each question, he edged closer to her.

"Yes," he replied softly.

"No," Hoshi stated.

Malcolm stared at her, waiting for more of an explanation. There were too many questions and not enough answers…especially when it came to Hoshi. It was time for some answers. "So you mean to tell me that you were transported to the other Enterprise to discuss the weather? If T'Pol wanted to discuss a personal matter with you, why didn't she just send you a personal note? Why the subterfuge?"

"Ever since I met you…" he started, running a hand through his hair in frustration. It was as if he had led a separate life since she had arrived. For three years she had been a part of his life -- the chaos in his life.

Seeing his frustration grow, Hoshi froze. He was tired and volatile. "What, Malcolm?" she asked. She should feel bad for leading him, but she wanted him.

"I've wanted you," Malcolm admitted softly, responding to her husky tone.

Hoshi reached for him, but he caught her wrist. "Don't," he said, his voice the barest of whispers. "I need answers, not more complications."

His words frightened her and she tried pulling away from him. "I have no answers for you," she replied, unable to meet his steady gaze.

"You looked hunted when you arrived. I remember that much. It was as though you were running from something."

Hoshi's breath hitched in her throat, his words striking at her core. He was right. She had been running. She had been running ever since that day Malcolm had kidnapped her, vaguely informing her of her role in future events.

"You had that same look in your eyes when you returned from Risa."

"I…was…tired," she lied. "You know how it is…when you're on vacation. The one thing you hope to do is rest…then you never do. There was so much to see…so much to do and –"

"I spent my entire time on Risa tied to Trip, but my memories of Risa are quite different. At first they were dreams, but they've blurred into memories," he rattled on. "I was angry with you…concerned for your safety. We fought…then made love. It happened then," Malcolm said more to himself than to her. "Just before you were transported to T'Pol. You were afraid of me…angry with me. On Risa you were angry with me."

"Stop," Hoshi whispered, her eyes wide with fear. Did the temporal disease affect him as well? He didn't know. He couldn't know.

"We made love on Risa," he repeated shakily, hoping to God she would say something… hopefully confirm he wasn't losing it.

Hoshi's struggle ceased and tears started to trickle down her cheeks as she bit her lip. She wanted to tell him the burden of what was to come.

"We've been out here for three years…always at risk…in danger," Malcolm sighed. "With you it was always different…like I had a vested interest…added worries.

"Stop," Hoshi pleaded again.

He gave her a little shake. "Why should I, Hoshi? Tell me I'm not crazy. Tell me I've dreamt it all."

"I can't," she whispered in reply.

"Something's happened. Something will happen," he continued, putting pieces of his dreams and bits of his daydreams together.

He was angry, the thin line of his lips drawn sharply into a frown. The temptation to tell him everything loomed before her like a dim, inviting light in the blackest of darkness. "I wish I could tell you," she admitted weakly.

The small disclosure moved him to her, crowding her…intimidating her. "When I was recovering from heatstroke, it was like I was in two place at once."

"Temporal displacement disorder," she whispered, clinging to him.

Her words were familiar to him, yet unfamiliar.

"What did you say?"

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Hoshi confessed. "Daniels…"

Malcolm waited.

"I don't know how…how to explain," she whimpered. She took a shuddering breath and closed her eyes. "You…you traveled back in time to…to save me. I was poisoned when I came on board…by the Suliban. It's so confusing. He…you're gone now. You were sick. I don't know much about it, but you called it temporal displacement disorder. Doctor Cole said you would die if you didn't return to the future. I can't tell you any more. It will contaminate the timelines."

"Please don't ask me to say anymore," Hoshi pleaded weakly, her breath against his ear. "I've had three years of being…manipulated by you…fearing the worst…wondering if the world would end because of…something I did, or didn't do."

"Hoshi, I –"

"I need you," her words beseeched him. "I need you to make love to me. I need –"

Her words were lost as his lips touched hers, softly at first, as though seeking permission she gladly bestowed. He heard a groan…his or hers, he didn't know. He didn't care as his tongue sought hers. He needed her. He needed to taste her, feel her melt around him.

Tasting tears in their kiss, Malcolm pulled back and looked into her desire-muddled eyes. "Hoshi –" he gasped, his thought lost as her hands worked their way into his uniform. Willingly he obliged, shrugging his arms out of his sleeves and groaning as her bold touch glided over his body.

Hoshi tore at his clothing, groaning in encouragement as he did the same to hers. "Yes, Malcolm," she said huskily. "I need to feel you inside me."

Her words inflamed him, and he kicked his boots and uniform off, trailing a wet path of kisses along her neck and collar. As he suckled her breasts, his fingers tested her. There was no finesse, desperation clawing at both lovers and hastening them toward consummation.

Malcolm gasped as he felt the dagger-like spikes of her nails pull his boxers down, then groaned as her warm palm encircled him. He collapsed to the floor, pulling her on top of him, skin against skin…want versus need.

He tried to keep his eyes open as she sheathed him, surrounding him with her heat, but he couldn't.

Hoshi teetered on the edge, rocking back and forth and seeking release, oblivion nearing. Managing to keep her eyes open, she committed the moment to memory.